For the Love of Us

by Kaylee Rose

  No, I want to wait until Brad and I are together. I want his mouth, tongue and cock filling me, bringing me to orgasm. My brain overrules the desperate need I feel. The wait for him is worth it.

  With all the strength I can muster, I ignore the voices in my head and reach for more shaving foam to complete the grooming process.

  I hang the shower head back into place and think again about using it later tonight. I’ve heard a shower head can do amazing things to a clit. Maybe I can convince Brad to give it a try tonight.

  The perfect analogy strikes me as I stand in the back of the shower stall drying my lower body. I’m going to present myself to my husband completely naked and vulnerable. All my raw emotions and insecurities exposed like an open wound. Hopefully, tonight can start the healing process.

  Chapter Twelve

  While trying to step out of the shower the bathmat slips out from under me, sending me sliding toward the tile floor. No matter how fast I flap my arms, I’m going to wipe out. My brain flashes in slow motion sending me messages, it’s going to hurt like hell when you land.

  A high-pitched scream escapes as my naked body crashes to the hard, cold floor. My own epitaph shines like the lights of Hollywood in my head;

  Beloved Wife and Mother.

  Crashed and burned in a terrible bathroom accident.

  But she looked great doing it. Awesome new red hair, pretty toes.

  I’m turtled on my back. Heavy blinking starts in with the focus on the bright lights above me.

  I’m dead I know it.

  St. Peter calls to me from behind the glow of the bulbs.

  Tina’s yell grows louder as she flings the door open.

  “O. M. G!” she cries. “What happened?”

  I choke as I struggle to grab a lungful of air. “Umm…I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up?”

  I make light of this situation, or burst into tears? I don’t have time for tears. Instead of crying, I start to laugh like a maniac, the shock hitting me.

  Tina flops down on her butt next to me, her laughter mingling with mine. That’s what BFF’s do. Laugh, cry, fight, win and lose together. Currently, we’re cracking up like a pair of hyenas.

  Still lying on the tile, Tina starts checking me for injuries.

  She asks again, kneeling beside me, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  I’m getting a full inspection from head to toe. Not just a visual either. She’s touching my arms, feet, and skull, hitting all my ticklish spots. This only makes me giggle harder.

  Now she’s trying to pry my eye lids open. You’d think she had her medical degree with the full-service physical she’s giving me.

  “You know, some people pay a lot of money for touching like this.”

  Tina slaps my arm and pushes herself to her feet. “Smart ass. Some people will do anything to get attention. Get up, and stop fooling about, you still have stuff to do.”

  “Help me up. I think I broke my butt.”

  “Don’t. My side really hurts from laughing at you,” she says, trying to keep a straight face. “Guess anal is off the table tonight.”

  “Ha, ha. Help me up.”

  She stands and reaches for my outstretched hands pulling me into a hug. She pins my arms against my body while squeezing me tight.

  “I know we share everything, but this is just weird.” I’m still buck ass naked, and my best friend has me wrapped up like an anaconda squeezing the air from my lungs. The fall didn’t kill me, but Tina’s hug might.

  She looks me dead in the eye while keeping hold of me at arm’s length. “That’s it! You’re smokin’ hot. Maybe instead of your night alone with Brad, we give him his ménage à trois fantasy. He’s been saying he wanted to have us both for a long time. We could tick off another bucket list item for you.”

  “Wait. What? I love you, but I have no desire to do any of that with you. Do you want to do it?”

  She howls with laughter which immediately puts my mind at ease. I could swear she wanted a three way. Brad teases us about how he will teach us both what a real man is like in bed.

  “Hey, I love you too, but I love cock too much to share it. Had you going there for a minute, didn’t I?”

  It’s my turn to punch her in the shoulder.

  “Bitch. It’s a good thing I need you for tonight’s plan to work.”

  “You need me for more than tonight.”

  I wrap the big towel around myself and turn toward the mirror.

  “Shit! Look at my hair. I trashed it. My mascara is running down my face like I’m melting.”

  First, I bruise my ass, and now this. Forget it. It’s not going to work anyway. Why did I ever think I could pull off seducing my husband?

  Tina rests her chin on my shoulder with her mouth next to my ear. Her soft words are heard as loud as a shout. “Get out of your head. We can fix this. Quit telling yourself this is going to fail.”

  “How do you know what I’m thinking?” Of course that’s what I’m thinking.

  “Because I know you that’s how. Come on, let’s get you ready. I have an idea for your hair, and I’ll touch up your makeup. It’s not that bad.”

  She doesn’t give me a choice. Turning my shoulders to the doorway she’s pushing me again but this time to my bedroom.

  “You really have become pushy in your old age.”

  “Hush up and get moving.”

  Secret Agent Tina Lange comes to my rescue once more.

  Tina doesn’t stop guiding my body forward until we reach my vanity table.

  I comply with her order to sit in the cushioned stool she pulls out. With my back to the mirror, facing my bed, I see Tina’s changed the sheets and comforter to the new ones I bought this morning. It looks better than I expected. Then again, Tina’s eye for interior design and decorating is magnificent. Her home looks like something from one of those glossy magazines.

  “Come on. I know you trust me. Close your eyes.”

  I follow her directions and wait for her to fix what I carelessly messed up. I can hear her rummaging around the inside of my dressing table drawers.

  “The bag on the nightstand has the samples from Sephora. Do you see it?”

  “Got it. Now you relax and let me take care of you.”

  Fifteen minutes later, Tina announces, “You’re all patched up, just like Humpty Dumpty.”

  She holds my grandmother’s antique silver vanity mirror before my face.

  “Wow, you did it! It looks even better than it did when I left the store.”

  My eyes are a little darker and smokier. My lipstick is an amazing shade of red. The color reminds me of a candy apple from the carnival. Just as glossy and vibrant.

  “The hair?” Tina has created her own version of the pinned-up knot with the sensual twist Cristina tried to teach me yesterday. She even placed a pretty clip on the updo she’s masterfully created.

  “You did it. You fixed it perfectly. Thank you.”

  These perimenopausal hormones suck because my emotions shoot off like the fireworks on the Fourth of July. “I don’t want to mess up my makeup with tears. Do something, sing, make me laugh, anything.”

  “How’s your butt feeling?”

  We both break out into a fit of uncontrollable giggles. Other people can only dream of having a friend like Tina. Perfect timing on so many levels. One of her true superpowers is knowing what to say at the right time.

  I give my butt a little rub. “It hurts, but I’ll live.”

  “Better hide the toys and bondage gear I saw in that special bag over there. Brad may want to spank your broken butt. It’s already primed and pink for him.”

  Shit! The blush climbs up my neck, making my face and ears heat with embarrassment. I share everything with her, but right now I can’t handle it. Tina won’t judge me, but that doesn’t stop the shame I feel. She saw everything in that bag. The butt plug, vibrator and other items I need to bring into our bedroom because we’ve failed miserably at maintaining our sex life. I need these
items to spice it up because I’m obviously not enough to make him desire me as I am now.

  The embarrassment I feel right now is indescribable. My body trembles, as I shake my head telling her wordlessly what a mistake it was to buy the sex aids.

  I finally sputter out and lie to cover the unease I feel at her knowing, “I didn’t plan on using any of that stuff. I’ll return it tomorrow.”

  “I’m teasing. I think it’s great you’re trying everything possible to make tonight special. Brad is the man you fell in love with all those years ago. The boy who was so head over heels in love with you that he told you he was going to marry you five minutes after you met. The man who chose you as his wife and who made you a mom. The man who wants to grow old with you and is still head over heels in love. He loves you. Do you hear me? HE. LOVES. YOU.”

  The thump, thump of my heart pounds in my ears. My anxiety level is at an all-time high. Thoughts of what our future holds if I fail to reconnect with Brad spin through my mind. My entire body feels heavy, like I’m weighed down with a block of cement.

  My words come out slow and deliberate. “I want to believe he still loves me like that. I’m afraid we can’t find that part of us again. What will I do if he doesn’t want me anymore?”

  At this point my tears are nowhere to be found. They’ve dried up just like the relationship I’m trying to revive.

  Tina breaks the cloud of despair floating around me. “How could he not want you? You’re the best person I know and you’re beautiful. Look at yourself.”

  I find the strength to stand up from the vanity, slowly making my way over to the full-length mirrors on my closet doors. I dissect the shell of a woman in her forties. A little broken and a little lost. I don’t look like I did when I was in my twenties, but Brad is my everything, and I’ll be more than a little aged without him. I’ll be dead.

  “Stop it!” Tina spits out. “I mean it. Stop! I’ve seen this look before. You’re telling yourself you can’t win. You had the same look when you thought you couldn’t get pregnant. You said you would just take yourself out of the game then and look what happened. One special night away was all it took. It didn’t come as fast or exactly the way you wanted it to, but it happened.”

  She’s behind me talking to my reflection. Her intensity and determination piercing through my soul proves what I already know. She believes in me.

  My voice shakes as I admit my fears. “This is bigger. Losing something you already have is much different than not ever having it in the first place. A loss right now will shatter my world.”

  My head is in my hands while I try to control my reaction. This meltdown was not built into the plan. Brad is going to be home soon, and I still need to get dressed. I should just give up.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Tina tries to put us back on track. “Come on. Let’s see this sexy lingerie and dress you told me about.”

  The dress bag is laid out on my bed next to the box with my lingerie. She slides the white box containing in my direction, urging me to move on to the next task at hand.

  I untie the big pink bow, lift the lid off and see an envelope on top of the pink tissue.

  “Hurry up!” She’s so impatient.

  “Hang on. Lily from the dress store put a note in the box.”

  I pull the pale pink card from the envelope. The card is embossed with her monogram in gold letters, LJS. It’s classy and elegant just like Lily.

  Callie,

  While preparing your purchase today I was reminded of a quote I read years ago. I never found out who the genius was who wrote it but think it’s perfect for you and Brad.

  “A successful marriage doesn’t happen because of the love you had in the beginning, but how well you continue building that love until the end.”

  Tonight, is just one more brick for the house of love you’ve been building since you met. Never give up on the construction and you will always have shelter during the hard times.

  Your new friend,

  ~ Lily xoxo

  Lily gets it. Marriage is a constant work in progress. How else do you get what you want without working hard and taking the time necessary to make it what you want it to be? It’s all right if it’s not what others think is the right way to do it. As long as it’s right for you. At the end of the day that’s all that is important. Did you both reach the destination together?

  “No more stalling. Come on, let’s finish getting you dressed before I have to leave.”

  “You’re right. Time to get dressed.”

  I grab the little matching panties that came with the corset when Tina snatches them from me throwing them back in the box.

  She swats my hand away when I grab for them again.

  “I need those you know.”

  “No, you don’t. You want to drive Brad wild? No panties will do it. No Panties! Got it?” She’s wagging her finger at me like I’m a naughty schoolgirl. “I mean it, no covering up!”

  Of course, she says no underwear. I don’t think she owns any. I’m not sure I can go commando. I’ve always worn panties of some sort. I hear the old saying–make sure you’re wearing clean underwear in case you’re in an accident rolling through my thoughts. All right, she’s the expert in this department.

  “You’re right. No panties are the way to go tonight. Now go over there while I get this part on.” Lily helped me get into the corset earlier but I’m sure I can figure it out now.

  I peel the tissue paper from the black satin and lace underthings. I think hard trying to remember how to get this on. The best plan of attack is to pull it up from the bottom so I don’t mess up my hair. Getting into this corset is like squeezing into a wetsuit. The boning in the garment is making it feel like an almost impossible task.

  Tina snickers from the other side of the room. It isn’t helping my frustration level. I’m getting pissed off. The stubborn side of my brain overrules the logical side. I don’t need her help. I pull, shimmy, shake, and turn in circles but nothing seems to work. It feels like I’m fighting to get out of a spider web. The more I wiggle the more I become entangled.

  I’ve no idea how I got into this position, but with one arm pinned under the satin torture device, and the other straight up in the air, I turn to Tina in shame. Her chuckles are now loud barking laughs.

  I can just imagine what would happen if Tina wasn’t here. Brad would come in, see me, and have to save me from the mess I’d gotten in to. So much for sexy time.

  Between gasps, she asks, “I see your hand is raised. Do you have a question?”

  “Fuck you! You’re supposed to be helping not taking in a comedy show. Stop cackling and get over here before I strangle myself. And don’t you even think about taking out your phone or I’ll beat you with it.”

  Holding her side from the cramp I’m assuming she got from laughing so hard, she finally comes to my rescue. “Big talk from the girl I see trapped in a corset.”

  “I hope that stitch in your side hurts. A lot. That was just mean making me struggle for your own amusement.”

  She gives the ribbon on the front a tug, releasing me from the lacey prison. Finally, able to breathe, I glare at her.

  “Sorry, not sorry. That was hilarious. Next week, over coffee, you’ll see the humor in this too.”

  “Maybe but for now I want to punch you in the face. You’re mean. Now help me lace it up again.”

  In no time at all I’m laced and cinched up. This could have been much easier. Can anything else go wrong?

  The answer is yes.

  “Shit. Fuck. SHIT. Look at this hole.”

  I must have chipped a nail while wrestling into the corset. We are both staring at the latest mishap of the day. While trying to roll my new stockings up I snag one making a quarter sized hole in the calf.

  “Wow, you can’t even hide it. Do you have an old pair?” She’s already digging around my dresser drawers.

  “No. I can’t remember the last time I wore a dress. I’ll have to go without st
ockings.”

  When I stand up from the edge of my bed, the lingerie box falls to the floor. An extra pair of stockings slips out from between the tissues. A bright orange sticky note is attached to the package.

  Just in case you have an accident. No need to stress ~ Lily

  How did she know? Because she’s amazing and my guardian angel, that’s how.

  I hold up the package to show Tina. “Lily saved the day. She put extra stockings in the box.”

  “Awesome. Now file that nail smooth before putting this pair on and I’ll help clip them to the straps.”

  Tina does the hard work of getting the lines straight. Brad will love the way these garters frame my ass.

  Now for the dress.

  I remove the hanger from the inside of the dress bag holding it in front of my body, then turn for Tina to get her first look. It’s even more fabulous than I originally thought. Before I get into another predicament, I have Tina help me slide into my dress and shoes.

  Tina secures the clasps on my heels.

  “One last thing and my work here is done.”

  She flicks the latch on the small inconspicuous box on my side table. The treasure inside is exactly what I need to feel whole.

  The cool pearls touching my hot skin give me a small tremor. Each pearl represents a part of our life with a strong securing knot before adding the next. If one breaks off the strength of the knots surrounding it will protect the others from falling apart.

  Planting a sweet kiss on my cheek, she steps back, allowing me some space to refocus, before the real part of tonight’s plan begins. “It’s time. Are you ready?”

  Am I ready? Maybe!

  I don’t know what I would have done without Tina’s help. Or to be honest, Lily and Jenni too. I don’t know if I can ever express my full appreciation to any of them. They will never know what today has meant to me.

  “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. Thank you. I couldn’t have pulled this off without you.”