Rules

by Doe, Anna B.

  “I told you to let it go and get out of here.” He tries to get past me, brushing me off, but I stand in his way, not backing down. Not until I get my answers.

  “Not until you tell me what kind of relationship you had with Josephine Taylor and why she thinks you had anything to do with Brook’s disappearance.”

  Her words still haunt me.

  While you were here dining on a silver platter, she was going through garbage to find something to eat.

  All those times I teased her about the ratty old clothes. All the times she “skipped” lunch in school. That too-big leather jacket she wore even in winter because she didn’t have anything else to wear.

  All those memories I didn’t even know I had start coming back one by one, the guilt I didn’t know I was able to feel eating at me.

  And now she’s out there somewhere alone again. My hands grip tightly into fists, and then I remember the thing I’ve been holding on to. Unclasping my fingers, I look down.

  White stick.

  Fuck no.

  It can’t be.

  I want to reject it, I want to deny it, but it’s like déjà vu.

  “Where is she?” I take a step forward, so we’re toe to toe. Fury and fear swirl inside of me like a tornado, and once it breaks loose, there will be nothing that will be able to stop the destruction.

  I thought there was only one person who could bring all these emotions inside of me, but I guess I was wrong.

  “Andrew, this subject is done. I already told you…”

  Letting the stick fall out of my hand, I grip his shirt and lift him in the air.

  “Andrew!” I can hear Jeanette’s surprised shriek when I shove my father into the wall, but I don’t care. She would do the same if she knew.

  “Where the hell is she?!” I roar in his face, slamming his limp body into the wall once again for good measure.

  I was done with his stupid games and lies.

  “Andrew…”

  “If the next words out of your mouth don’t give me any information on how Brook got away or where to find her, you’re going to regret it. I’m not even joking,” and to show him I’m serious, my grip on his throat tightens.

  “Okay, okay, okay! She came to me.” His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat. “A few weeks ago.”

  My eyes narrow at him. “She knew, didn’t she?”

  “She knew.” He nods. “Brook saw Josephine and me once. Fighting. Josephine wanted more money. When she got pregnant, she came to me, asking for help. I gave her money and told her to take care of it, but she never did. And now with me running for mayor, of course she saw a perfect opportunity to get some more money.”

  “What did Brook want?”

  John laughs. The fucker actually laughs.

  “Money, what else? Like mother, like daughter.”

  Dammit, Brook.

  “Did she tell you why she needed the money?”

  She wouldn’t …

  “She wanted me to ‘help her disappear’. Her words, not mine.”

  “And did you do it?”

  “I gave her a couple thousand bucks. I offered more, but she didn’t want to take it, then she was gone.”

  “And you didn’t even think to ask where she was going or why she needed the money?”

  “I wanted her gone, that way I’d ensure that Josephine couldn’t do much damage to my campaign. It would be her word against mine, and we all saw her. Nobody would believe her even if she tried, not without proof.”

  Unclasping my hands, I let him fall out of my grasp without finesse. Turning on the balls of my feet, I look at Jeanette standing behind us, her mouth hanging open and tears in her eyes. Her arms are wrapped around her like she’s trying to protect herself, and she doesn’t even know the worst part.

  “This is for the best, Andrew. If Brook stayed here, it only would have ruined our family reputation and put the campaign in danger. We’ve worked too hard for all of this to be ruined by some low life.”

  “Do you even hear yourself?!” A second, that’s all it takes for me to be back at his throat. “What reputation? What family? You threw away my sister. You let her live with that nutcase, and now you paid her off to go away. She’s a freaking teenager, and she’s somewhere out there all alone and pregnant and you just let her go!”

  Jeanette gasps softly, but I don’t turn around. This time, even God wouldn’t be able to stop me. Swinging back, I let my fist connect with his face. The cracking sound and my heavy breathing fill the otherwise quiet room.

  “You’re going to hire those fancy-ass private investigators to find her, and you’re going to do that NOW. And if something happened to her, I swear to God, I will ruin you. You already have no family, and when I finish with you, your reputation will be shattered to so many pieces, there will be nothing left to glue back together.”

  He looks at me from the floor, his nose bloody and bruised. “Is this a threat, boy?”

  “No, Dad,” I spit. “This is a promise.”

  * * *

  “This is all so crazy,” Jeanette says yet again when we’re finally back in my room. She picks up the little fluffball that was waiting for us in the middle of my bed and hugs her to her chest tightly.

  She tries to put on a strong face, but I can see her breaking underneath the surface.

  “Welcome to the family,” I say dryly. Sighing, I go to her, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her closer. My lips brush against the crown of her head, finding comfort in her familiar smell.

  “What are you going to do?” she whispers softly.

  “I’ll talk to a PI. There has to be a way to find her. She couldn’t have just disappeared into thin air. If the test is true, she must have gone to a doctor or something, right?”

  Jeanette pulls back, her throat bobbing as she swallows. “We have to tell Max.”

  “Maybe it’s not him.”

  She shakes her head stubbornly. “It’s him. If she’s pregnant, it’s Max’s baby.”

  “Dammit.” I pinch the bridge of my nose, the headache growing by the second. “Fine, we’ll tell him, but not before the game.”

  “Andrew, I can’t hide it from him!”

  “He’s a bomb that’s about to explode. Tomorrow is the second round of the playoffs. We’re two games away from winning it all, and no matter what he says, this is important to him. Scouts will be there, and that’s his chance to secure his spot on one of the division one teams.” I try to reason.

  I don’t like it any more than she does, and I already know he’ll go ballistic when he finds out, and he will find out, but right now we needed to prioritize.

  “Besides, maybe if we wait, we’ll be able to give him something useful, like where the hell Brook went in the first place.”

  “Fine.” Jeanette puffs out her cheeks. “I don’t like it one bit, but fine. We’ll wait until after the game.”

  Chapter Fifty-Six

  BROOK

  I look around myself, the smell of antiseptic making my stomach turn. It’s not even about the smell—so far I’ve been pretty lucky when it comes to nausea—it’s the nerves that don’t leave me alone.

  I’ve been putting off this moment for as long as I possibly could—after all, if there is no doctor confirmation, it’s not real, or so I kept telling myself anyway—but there was no sane reason to yet again postpone the doctor appointment. I couldn’t afford to be careless like that, so I set my appointment at Planned Parenthood as soon as I got to my destination.

  As it turns out, Mrs. Brown has a sister in Virginia, and she agreed to let me stay with her for the time being. After our conversation, Mrs. Brown didn’t want to hear a word in protest when she suggested it. I tried to tell her no, I really did, but the woman had a good argument, and when she pulled the baby card, I couldn’t force the protest.

  Between what little I had stashed at Lia’s and the money John Hill gave me, I had enough. For the time being that is. I wasn’t foolish enough to believe it would last long.
Not with a baby on the way. Babies require a lot of stuff, some of which I wasn’t even aware of before I started paying attention to it all.

  More than once, I caught myself panicking. Because really, how the hell am I supposed to do all of this? By myself no less. The thought that soon I'll have another human’s life, my baby’s life, depending on me is terrifying. I wasn’t sure I was capable of taking care of myself alone. That was the main reason I pushed away the idea of leaving in the first place, and now it wasn’t just my life that I’d be ruining if I messed up.

  My breath hitches, and I can feel my heart start racing. Gripping the edge of the table, I force myself to take slow, deep breaths.

  How much longer do I have to wait?

  The wait, the uncertainty, killing me a little with every passing second.

  As soon as I got to the clinic, the nurse drew some blood and did the usual measurements, and after a bit, I was called into the room to wait for the doctor to arrive.

  Is something wrong with the baby? Is that why it’s taking so long?

  Just as another panic attack approaches, the door swings open and a young doctor enters the room.

  “Miss Barnes?” She smiles softly at me, using the name from the fake ID I gave them when I registered.

  She’s pretty, probably in her early thirties. Her tanned skin is make-up free, her long, dark hair pulled into a ponytail to keep it away from her face. Dressed in the usual blue scrubs, she takes a seat on a chair next to the bed.

  “My name is Doctor Perez, and I’ll be assisting you today.” I nod curtly, not knowing what to say. “How are we feeling?”

  Clearing my suddenly dry throat, I force the words out. “Good. Nervous.”

  “It’s normal for the first-time moms.”

  I have a feeling she wanted to add young to the mix too but kept it to herself. Then again, I’m sure she’s seen it all by now.

  “We got your lab results, which confirmed what you already knew. I assume you’re somewhere between seven and nine weeks pregnant.” My hand flies to my stomach, my heartbeat thumping in my ears, making the rest of her sentence muffled. A baby. “I’d like to do a transvaginal ultrasound to see if everything is developing as it should and determine how far along you are exactly.”

  I’m really having a baby.

  “Sure.” I nod my head. If she told me to jump out of the window, I’d probably do that too. No questions asked.

  “Please lie down on the table.”

  I do as she says, placing my legs in the stirrups while Doctor Perez pushes some buttons on the machine, turning it on.

  “This might be a little uncomfortable,” she warns. Taking a wand, she covers it with something before it disappears underneath the gown I’m wearing.

  I hiss softly at the touch, my stomach constricting. It feels weird and kind of ticklish.

  She’s not even looking at me, her sole attention on the dark screen. I look at it too, a frown between my brows and an unsettling feeling in my stomach, like a thousand little butterflies are having a party inside of me. It’s weird, but not unwelcome.

  Something shifts on the screen. It’s still quite dark, but not completely black, as it was before. The doctor presses some buttons, making the black and white picture larger.

  “This…” Finally, she points to the screen. “This is your baby.”

  Tears well in my eyes as I look at the little peanut-shaped shadow on the screen.

  “And this.” She turns to look at me, a soft smile on her lips. “This is your baby’s heartbeat.”

  A fast thud, thud, thud fills the room. My heart starts racing until it’s almost in time with the whooshing sound surrounding me. My hand flies up, covering my mouth. I can feel the wetness of my cheeks, but I don’t bother to wipe away the tears. They’re happy tears.

  “Amazing, isn’t it?”

  I nod, speechless. How is this even possible? How can something so small, so intangible make me feel so much but not enough at the same time?

  “According to your measurements, I’d say you’re about nine weeks pregnant.”

  I try to think back, pinpoint the time when it all happened, but really my brain is mush. The only thing I can concentrate on is the sound of my baby’s heart beating. It’s not like it even matters. Max is the only person I’ve had sex with since…

  “Would you like a picture?” the doctor asks, breaking me out of my dark thoughts. I’m not going to taint this moment thinking about him.

  Once again, I nod, my eyes still glued to the screen. She presses some buttons, and once she’s done, turns off the machine and slowly pulling out the wand.

  I want to beg her to let me listen to it a bit longer, but I hold my tongue. Getting off the bed, I go to the changing room to get back into my clothes before meeting with the doctor once again.

  “Okay, here are some pamphlets with all the information you might need.”

  I take the papers, scanning through the content, half-listening to her speak.

  All You Need to Know Before Your Baby Comes

  Eating Healthy

  Getting Ready for Baby

  Explore Your Options Here

  I gasp loudly just as her hands cover mine.

  “I know this must be overwhelming, but there are options,” she tells me softly.

  She doesn’t mean…

  Slowly, I lift my gaze until I meet her eyes. They’re kind. Non-judgmental. But they don’t help remove the uneasy feeling growing in my stomach.

  “I know this must be hard for you. Having this baby all on your own at such a young age... Look over all of this, and if you have any additional questions, you can always come here. There is no shame in admitting you can’t do this.”

  Gulping down the lump in my throat, I look down. The pamphlet is still open. One word standing out like a lighthouse in the dark.

  Abortion.

  My hand grips around it, crumpling the paper in my fist. Forcing myself to lift my gaze, I give her one final look. “Thank you for your help.”

  And then I run out.

  Chapter Fifty-Seven

  MAX

  “Okay, boys,” Coach hollers, calling us all in. He looks around the room, his eyes meeting the gaze of each player on the team. “This is it. I know how hard every single one of you has been working for this. How much hard work, sweat, and blood has been put into making this team what it is. Whatever happens today out on the ice, I want you to know that I’m proud of the men you’ve become and everything you’ve accomplished. It’s been a pleasure working with you.”

  Finally, they land on mine. I feel the nerves rise in my body. After all, this is what I’ve been waiting for my whole life. Everything has led me to this moment, this game.

  I wish Brook were here to see this.

  The thought comes out of nowhere, but instead of pushing it away, I embrace it.

  “Now let’s go smash some asses.”

  Every single player hollers in agreement, our voices and tapping sticks echoing against the tiles in the locker room.

  “Wolves on three,” Derek calls next to me. “One. Two. Three…”

  “Wolves!”

  * * *

  It’s the third period, and the score is tied with two points for each team and two minutes and fifty-one seconds on the clock. Hawks have possession of the puck like they have for a good two minutes, and every attempt to regain it has been fruitless.

  Swearing under my breath, I watch as one of the wings sends the puck to the center, who returns it, and the guy shoots at the goal.

  My stomach is stuck in my throat until I see our goalie stop the damn thing from entering our net.

  “That was too damn close,” Derek says as we meet on the line for the face-off.

  “Two minutes,” I mutter, more for myself than anybody else. The clock is ticking, and we need to get that puck into the net.

  As always, I tune everybody out as insults fly right and left, my eyes glued to the puck, watching it fall to the ice. Th
is time, Derek manages to snatch it first, and in the next moment, our line is moving across the rink.

  He sends the puck to Andrew on the left, who shoots it to the D-man almost instantly because one of the Hawk players goes at him, his stick getting between Andrew’s skates, making him trip.

  The ref is between them almost immediately, calling out the penalty. Thank fuck. Hawks try to argue, but the ref doesn’t let it slide.

  The sweat is dripping down my forehead as we skate over the blue line and toward the Hawk’s goalie. Johnson, our D-man, is still at our backs. He sends the puck to me, and I get it over to Hill on the left, getting between two of the Hawks players just in time to get the puck from Hill and shoot.

  The buzzer sounds, signaling the goal.

  One minute and thirty-seven seconds. If we can keep our hands on the puck for just a little over a minute, we’ll be champions.

  * * *

  If Andrew’s house doesn’t fall today, nothing will ever be able to knock it down. The music is blasting so hard, I’m sure the residents of the next town over can hear us. Every time a Wolf enters one of the rooms he’s greeted with hoots and hollers so loud they make the walls shake.

  Fucking champions, baby.

  Even hours after, it was still hard to wrap my head around it.

  Deciding I could use a breather, I sneak out through the kitchen door and get on the terrace. The air feels good on my skin, cool and refreshing. The house is buzzing with so many people, half of which I’m not even sure go to Greyford.

  Tilting my head back, I take one deep breath, a sense of longing washing over me. I pull my phone out of my back pocket, looking at my empty inbox. Opening Brook’s message, I start typing but hushed voices draw my attention.

  “We have to tell him!”

  “We will, but give him today.”

  Slowly, I follow the voices around the side of the house and to the back.

  “I’ve already been hiding it for far too long, Andrew!” Andrew? “He needs to know.”