Bat Shift Crazy: An Ex-Shifter turned Vampire Hunter Urban Fantasy (The Legend of Nyx Book 2)

by Theophilus Monroe

  "Right," I said. "I know this isn't probably a normal request."

  "Honey," Annabelle said. "As the Voodoo Queen, nothing I deal with is what you'd consider normal."

  "So, can we see Cain?" I asked.

  "I'll approve the request," Annabelle said. "On one condition."

  "What's that?" I asked.

  "That you agree to Cain's recommendation, whatever it might be. No matter how inconvenient."

  "Even if he wants to admit me?" I asked. "I have a business back home. A nightclub. I'm the star performer. I really need to get back as soon as possible."

  "I understand," Annabelle said. "But those are my terms. We've had too many supernaturals admitted as of late who were unwilling to comply with Cain's treatment plans."

  "It's fine," Devin said, looking at me. "Whatever it is, Nicky, you have to solve this issue."

  "I only agreed to come, Devin, if we could leave no matter what after two weeks."

  "Cain is an accomplished psychiatrist," Annabelle said. "Hopefully, he can work within your timeline. I'll certainly communicate to him that you're eager to get back as soon as possible. But when it comes to curses, Nicky, you can't half-ass it. Not if you want to get well."

  I grunted. "Fine. I'll do it. But the longer I'm here and not back home, the other bat-shifting vamps remain a threat to my city."

  "I can appreciate that," Annabelle said. "I'll also make sure Cain understands that. I'll try and get you in to see him today."

  "You'll try?" I asked.

  "Nicky," Annabelle said. "The asylum is a busy place. For those who come who aren't an immediate threat to themselves or others, there's usually a month-long waiting list. I'm already doing you a favor by bumping you to the top of his schedule."

  I sighed. "Alright. Well, thank you for that."

  "You're welcome, Nicky. And good luck! One more request. It's more of a demand, I suppose, but I'd rather frame it as a request."

  "What's that?" I asked.

  "Since you and Devin are not a part of our voodoo world, and since we don't know exactly the nature of this curse that you're suffering from, I must insist that you have an escort within Vilokan."

  "An escort?" I asked.

  "Pauli will be your escort."

  "But Annabelle," Pauli interjected. "I'm no escort. I'm a two-bit ho!"

  Annabelle chuckled. "Not that kind of escort, dude."

  "Well damn," Pauli said, shaking his head and sounding dejected. "Here I was getting all excited."

  "Pauli will accompany you, presumably in his human form, anytime you're outside the confines of the asylum."

  "In clothes, preferably," Devin said.

  "He's jealous of my massive wiener," Pauli said.

  Annabelle rolled her eyes. "Isn't everybody?"

  "I'm not," I said. "I'd just as soon get rid of mine if I could."

  Annabelle giggled. "I don't want one of those things either. I can't imagine trying to walk with something like that banging into my thighs all the time."

  "I know, right?" I smiled. "Those damn things are a nuisance."

  "I might be a boa constrictor," Pauli said. "But I have an anaconda!"

  I snorted. "And this is the guy you want to have keep tabs on me in Vilokan?"

  Annabelle grinned. "Pauli might be a little rough around the edges. But I trust him completely. He's saved my life more times than I can count."

  Chapter thirteen

  Pauli had a sense of style that rivaled my own. He wasn't a trans woman like me. He was a gay man. But he did have a thing for heels. And he was right. His Louboutins were gorgeous. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I was a little jealous. Apart from his heels, he wore a tight-fitting pair of skinny designer jeans, a white shirt two sizes too small. He wore a feather boa over his shoulders, rainbow-colored to match his serpent form. He had an air of confidence about him that was undeniably alluring. He knew who he was and wasn't ashamed. Pauli certainly loved himself some Pauli.

  Annabelle said she'd have Debbie delivered to the asylum. I was grateful for that. I wasn't looking forward to carrying her another foot, much less the mile-long hike between Annabelle's Voodoo University and the Vilokan Asylum.

  It made sense why Annabelle chose Pauli to be our escort. If anything happened, if we got ourselves into trouble, he could quickly wrap himself around us in his snake form and teleport us out of the city. Best stay on his good side.

  Devin stayed a few paces behind as I walked beside Pauli. We were like two divas, making the whole Voodoo underworld, our runway as our heels clicked against the stone streets.

  Pauli kept touching my shoulder as he guided us through the city, casually explaining the different buildings and facilities. I don't think he was flirting with me explicitly. He was one of those people who came across as flirty to everyone, anyone who engaged him, anyway.

  That left Devin out. He hadn't said two words since we left Annabelle's office. He didn't have any reason to be jealous of Pauli. I was fascinated by him, I appreciated his sense of style, but he wasn't my Devin.

  "Over here are most of the shops that wouldn't concern you," Pauli said, gesturing to the right. "Mostly supplies for voodoo. Candlemakers. Oils and herbs. The Headshrinker."

  "Headshrinker?" I asked. "Isn't that Cain's job?"

  Pauli laughed. "Except this head shrink is a literal head shrinker."

  "Creepy," Devin muttered under his breath.

  "Oh, boyfriend, I agree!" Pauli exclaimed. "Not my brand of voodoo. But shrunken heads, particularly those belonging to those previously possessed by a Loa, can be quite powerful. Though, some Vodouisants just like to have them around. Quite useful for warding off evil spirits."

  "I'll take your word for it," I said. "But I agree with Devin. They're pretty creepy."

  Devin chuckled. "If you want to see creepy, we should take a tour of the Ghede quarter."

  "The what quarter?" I asked.

  "When Annabelle took over, she organized Vilokan into districts or quarters. They correspond with the different nanchons, or families, of Loa."

  "What exactly is a Loa anyway?" Devin asked.

  "Think of them like demigods. Lesser deities, in service of Bondye, the creator God. Or just, God. Vilokan is divided into the three primary nanchons. The Ghede Loa, led by Baron Samedi, are the Loa most closely associated with the dead. Like Erzuile Freda, Papa Legba, and others, the Rada Loa are mostly peace-loving, benevolent Loa. The Petro can be more aggressive. Loa like Marinette, or Kalfu, belong to the Petro class. Erzulie has a Petro aspect, too. Ogoun, the Loa of war who's also Annabelle's lover, by the way, belongs to both the Rada and Petro. So does Agwe, too. He might interest you, especially Nicky."

  "Why do you say that?" I asked.

  "He rules the sea, along with his wife, La Sirene. I'm sure you'd find you have quite a bit in common with them."

  I shrugged. "I'm more of a freshwater elemental. The Neck, the species I technically belong to, don't do well in saltwater."

  "Bad for the complexion?" Pauli asked.

  I nodded. "Something like that." In truth, I didn't know the answer to the question. One of many things I probably used to know about my former existence that I'd long since forgotten.

  "So these Loa, they live in these different quarters of Vilokan?" Devin asked.

  "Some do," Pauli said. "Those who have human hosts. But the quarters of the city are occupied mostly by those who have the aspects of the various Loa belonging to each nanchon."

  "So which quarter is the asylum located in?" I asked.

  "It's in the Rada quarter," Pauli said. "Some of the Rada deal with matters of human emotion. Ezulie, for instance, is focused on matters of love."

  "And you said, before, that you have the aspect of Aida..."

  "Aida-Wedo," Pauli said. "Also a Rada Loa. She's the Loa of snakes, fertility, and rainbows."

  "Fits you well," Devin said. "The whole rainbow snake thing."

  "Don't forget fertility. Not that I'd ever impregnated any
one. But boyfriend, my swimmers are like the Michael Phelps of sperm."

  Devin shook his head. "Too much information."

  I giggled a little. Pauli didn't have much of a filter. If he had any thought at all, it seemed, he spoke it out loud. "He's not your boyfriend, by the way. The doggone boy is mine."

  Pauli stopped in his tracks. "Oh, honey. You singing me some MJ?"

  "Michael Jackson?" I asked.

  "What other MJ is there?" Pauli asked.

  "Oh, I don't know," Devin said. "Michael Jordon, maybe."

  "Fine," Pauli said. "I love them both. But Jordon doesn't sing. Come on, Nicky. Let's sing it together. You take the Paul McCartney lines."

  I chuckled. "Alright."

  Pauli started singing the Michale Jackson number, changing the "girl is mine" to the "boy is mine." I butted in, at the appropriate moments, with the parts of the song McCartney sang.

  "Wooo!" Pauli said. "Girl, your voice! I think you're turning me one a little. And I don't do chicks!"

  Devin cleared his throat. "The girl is mine, Pauli."

  "Bitch," Pauli said. "Stop it. The color jealous doesn't look good on you."

  "I'm not jealous," Devin said.

  "Sure you aren't," Pauli said. "Not that I can blame you. Hey Nicky, don't you wish your boyfriend was hot like me?"

  "He is," I said, chuckling. "Don't need to make that wish."

  "Most of my lovers call me a genie," Pauli said. "When I rub you the right way, as Christina put it, all your wishes will come true."

  "I love that song!" I exclaimed. "I've sung it in my set before."

  "The way you sing, girl, I'd love to hear you rock that number!"

  "Thanks!" I said. "If you're ever in Kansas City, come check out my club."

  Devin sighed. "Not like there'd be much reason to come to KC."

  "You never know," Pauli said. "I like to travel. And now I have a reason to visit."

  I bit my lip. "Well, friends are always welcome."

  I thought by dropping the f-word, "friend," Devin would loosen up a little. Based on the redness that was flushing through his face, which actually looked more purple under Vilokan's blue lighting, he'd moved from a state of annoyance to anger.

  "Well, bitches," Pauli said. "We're here. Welcome to the Vilokan Asylum of the Magically and Mentally Deranged."

  The asylum was surrounded by rot iron fences. The words "Vilokan Asylum" were formed in an arch of rot iron spanning the gates in front of the asylum itself. Pauli escorted us through the gates and to the front door.

  "When you're ready to leave, have the receptionist ring me up."

  "Thanks, Pauli," I said as we stepped between two of the columns that spanned the front of the asylum and pressed went. The asylum had one of those video doorbells. I pressed the button. I heard a click in the mechanism of the front door.

  "You can come in," a female voice said from the speaker connected to the doorbell.

  Chapter fourteen

  Devin and I walked inside and approached the receptionist's desk.

  "Nurse Rutherford?" I asked, looking at her through the pane of plexiglass that separated her from the waiting room. Nurse Rutherford was a redheaded woman, a human in her thirties. Spunky with a knack for sarcasm. But, from my recollection, she was also kind. A bit jaded, perhaps, due to working with magically deranged psychos. Ultimately, though, she wanted what Cain wanted—for maladjusted supernaturals to get past their issues and have fulfilling existences. The last I knew, Cain also had a bit of a crush on her. No clue if their relationship had evolved at all since the last time I'd been to the asylum.

  "Nyx!" Rutherford said. "I couldn't believe it when Annabelle called us and said you were on the way. How the heck are you?"

  I shrugged. "Been better. Wouldn't be here otherwise. But all things considered, I'm doing well."

  Rutherford smiled wide. "Cain knows you're coming. He's with a patient at the moment. Take a seat, and he'll be with you shortly."

  "Thanks, Rutherford," I said, sitting down on one of the cushioned waiting room chairs. Devin sat down beside me.

  "You and Pauli sure seem to have a lot in common," Devin said.

  I nodded. "We do. Doesn't mean anything."

  Devin huffed. "Could have fooled me."

  "He's just a flirt," I said. "He probably would have flirted with you, too, if you didn't have a stiletto up your ass."

  "Excuse me?" Devin said. "It isn't his flirting that bothered me. It's that you didn't do anything to discourage it."

  "I called him a friend!" I said. "And I hate to say it, Devin. But he's right. Jealousy doesn't look good on you."

  "I don't have any reason to be jealous."

  "Then what is it?" I asked.

  "It's the way you looked at him," Devin said.

  "Sounds like jealousy to me."

  Devin grunted. "Why don't you look at me like that?"

  "Gee," I said. "I don't know. How do you think I was looking at him?"

  "Like you wanted him. Sexually."

  I started to laugh. Then I thought better of it and raised my hand to my lips to muffle my chuckle. "That wasn't the look I was giving him, Devin."

  "When he stood there, naked. You were gawking at his..."

  "Because it's grotesque!" I said. "That thing wasn't natural."

  "At least you were looking," Devin said. "When I undress in front of you, you hardly react."

  "Do you want me to stare at you like you're some kind of freak?" I asked.

  "I'd appreciate it if you looked. If you didn't turn your head every time you see me undressed."

  "I don't look away because I'm not attracted to you, Devin. I look away because I do desire you."

  "That makes no sense, Nicky. You should want to look at me if you want me. You turn away almost like you find me repulsive."

  "It's not you, Devin. It's me. You realize I've never..."

  "Yeah," Devin said. "You're a virgin. I get it. Someday, I'd hope, that would be something you'd like to change."

  I took a deep breath. "Do we have to do this right now? I have other issues on my mind. Things I need to sort out with Cain."

  "I get that," Devin said. "But at some point, we need to talk about this. Seems like you always have an excuse to change the subject. But you're right. This isn't the right time."

  "You realize, the feelings I experience when I see you that way, when I desire you, the only thing close to that at all is the feeling I remember having before I ate someone before I lured them down to my lair and killed them, Devin."

  "I know you don't want to eat me."

  "Which is why I look away. You realize, when I shifted back into this body, I targeted you the same way I used to target my meals..."

  "I remember. I told you to do it! Then, you shifted into the form I desire the most. Your, Nicky."

  "You don't see why, given the fact that I did target you that way, I'd want to avoid any feeling or urge that reminds me of a meal?"

  "I know you wouldn't hurt me, Nicky."

  I sighed. "You're right. I wouldn't hurt you. But that sensation, that compulsion I sense when I see you with your shirt off, with your pants off, whatever, it reminds me of what I used to be. A vile, man-eating, horror."

  Devin sighed and took my hand in his. "The key to that is it's what you used to be. You aren't that monster anymore. What if you followed those urges and allowed our desire for each other to redefine what that feeling means?"

  I pressed my lips together. "You're right. I want to do it, Devin. But I also don't want our first time to be tainted with feelings that remind me of the worst part of myself."

  "It's not a part of you anymore, Nicky."

  I sighed. "But it is. You heard what Brucie said. The very curse that keeps me like this, the curse on the Neck, is the same thing that makes it possible for us to be together. It's what allows me to be human."

  "A lot of people have problems with intimacy because of their past," Devin said. "But if you want to be happ
y, if you want to be with me, you need to find a way to get beyond all that."

  "I'm trying, Devin. I really am. And I appreciate how patient you've been about it."

  Devin nodded. "You're worth waiting for, Nicky. But I won't wait forever."

  I sighed. "I know..."

  "Nyx," Rutherford piped up. "Doctor Cain will see you now."

  Chapter fifteen

  The door to the asylum buzzed. It was a thick, reinforced metal door. Many of the supernaturals at the asylum have enhanced strength. It took some pretty extensive security measures to keep them inside. I pressed open the unlocked door and walked through. The door shut behind me and, with a click, I was reminded that I was effectively locked back in the same asylum I'd been to before.

  The place hadn't changed much. I knew where Cain's office was. Just down the hall and to the right. I knocked on Cain's door.

  He opened it. "Hello, Nyx."

  "Hi, doc," I said.

  "Why don't you take a seat on the couch?"

  I nodded and sat down. Cain pulled over his chair and sat in front of me, crossing his legs. Cain was a handsome Black man. He had a few curls of grey in his hair and beard. He looked like he might have been pushing fifty. Given that he was several thousand years old, if not older, he looked remarkably good for his age.

  "So why don't you tell me what brings you here?"

  "Didn't Annabelle tell you?" I asked.

  "She did," Cain said. "But I'd rather hear it from you."

  "I'm not here for counseling," I said. "I came for your advice."

  "For your bat shifting problem?" Cain asked.

  I nodded. "I figured, you know since the bat shifting goes back to some old curse that's been passed from a vampire to me...."

  "That because I was cursed to shift into a werewolf, I'd know a thing or two?" Cain asked.

  I nodded. "Exactly. The problem is, any time I'm around a vampire, particularly if the vampire is hungry, I have an urge to change."

  "And you suppose that hungry vampires, as you put it, are like your full moon?"

  "Right," I said. "I want to know how to resist the change. How to avoid it."

  "You realize," Cain said, "to this day, I still change every full moon."