Bat Shift Crazy: An Ex-Shifter turned Vampire Hunter Urban Fantasy (The Legend of Nyx Book 2)

by Theophilus Monroe

  "What the... how did I?"

  Cain tossed me my clothes and, shielding his eyes, turned around. "What were you thinking about?"

  I shrugged. "Thinking about Disney songs, what I might add to my set next time I performed. How I handle winters without turning into ice."

  "So you weren't thinking about the fact that you were a bat," Cain said, his back still turned to me.

  I slid back into my pants, heels, and shirt. "Right. I just distracted myself for a minute."

  "And you retook your usual form, the form of Nicky, right? I wasn't looking, but I saw enough to realize you became yourself again."

  "I did," I said. "You can turn around, by the way."

  Cain turned around, his hands folded with his index fingers extended and pressed to his lips.

  "You're about to psychoanalyze me again, aren't you?"

  Cain chuckled. "Not exactly. I was just going to make an observation. But now that you mention it, I may rephrase my observation in the form of a question."

  "Of course you will," I said, rolling my eyes. "You're always asking leading questions."

  Cain smiled. "It's one of those therapist tricks. The Socratic method, if you will. By asking questions, I simply lead you to come up with the answers yourself. I find that if patients come to their own conclusions, they're more apt to believe them."

  "Smart," I said. "So what are you going to ask so you can Jedi mind-trick me into believing what you want?"

  Cain laughed. "I see over your five years of human existence you've managed to catch up on the Star Wars saga."

  I nodded. "I've been working my way back through the decades I missed. Just got through the eighties blockbusters last month. I'm still trying to get over the fact that Goose died."

  "Tell me, Nicky," Cain said, signaling that he was about to pose a leading question. "Why do you suppose you naturally became Nicky again, and not some other form you might have taken back when you were an elemental?"

  I shrugged. "I don't know. It's the same form I returned to before, the last time I became a bat."

  "I didn't ask what happened before. I asked why you think it to be the case."

  I shrugged. "Because this is who I am, now?"

  Cain smiled from ear to ear. "Exactly, Nicky. This is you, now. You aren't who you used to be."

  "So what now? Devin's still out there waiting. Without any phone service to keep himself occupied, he's probably going out of his mind."

  "I'd like you to stay here for a few nights," Cain said.

  I stared back at Cain blankly. "I told Annabelle that I was doing this on an outpatient basis."

  "And she said you'd agree to my recommendations, whatever they might be."

  I snorted. "What about Devin, then?"

  "He'll be staying with Pauli," Cain said.

  I grunted. "I'm sure that will go over like a lead balloon."

  "Is there a problem with that arrangement?" Cain asked.

  "To quote another eighties blockbuster-snakes, why'd it have to be snakes?"

  "Indiana Jones?"

  I smiled. "Exactly. I'll just put it this way, Devin and Pauli didn't get off on the right foot."

  "Because Pauli didn't have feet when you first met him?" Cain asked.

  I grunted. "Now you've got jokes, doc."

  Cain smirked. "I'll be here all week."

  "Apparently, I will, too," I said, shaking my head.

  "Then, perhaps, this will be an opportunity for Devin and Pauli to get over their differences. Even while rooming with Debbie will help you and her to do the same."

  I furrowed my brow. "You have me rooming with her? Look, aside from the whole problem of me shifting in her presence, she's my boyfriend's mom. Awkward as hell."

  Cain laughed. "She'll be properly fed before you two see each other again. And concerning the whole awkwardness of it all, consider it a chance to win her over with your sparkling personality."

  "You said properly fed? You're giving her a living, breathing human to feed on?"

  Cain smiled. "We operate a blood drive on the surface. So long as the blood bags are kept at ninety-eight point six and delivered within thirty minutes, it will be as good to her as drinking from the source. She'll still get enough human soul with her blood to satisfy her."

  "Clever," I said, scratching my head. "I'm still not thrilled about this whole arrangement, though."

  "It's just for one night," Cain said. "Tomorrow night, you'll be coming with me."

  "Coming with you? Why?"

  "Tomorrow night is a full moon," Cain said. "You told me yourself, you'd like to learn how I've managed to adjust to my curse. What better way to learn than to observe?"

  Chapter seventeen

  Nurse Rutherford showed me to my room. Oddly enough, it was the same room I'd stayed in before. Debbie was still being fed, I supposed. A lot has to be done before the asylum will allow a youngling vampire to enter the general population. She gave me a hospital gown to change into.

  I held it in front of myself. "Winnie the Pooh print? Seriously?

  Rutherford shrugged. "And Tigger, too."

  I snorted. "No, thank you. I'll stay in what I'm wearing."

  "You know that's not permitted, Nicky," Rutherford said.

  "I'm not one of your inmates," I piped back. "I'm here on my own accord."

  "They aren't inmates, Nicky. You know that we prefer to call them patients or residents."

  "Am I free to leave at any time?" I asked.

  "If you do, you'll be expelled from Vilokan per your agreement with the queen."

  "So I'm not free to leave."

  "There's always a choice, Nicky."

  "Not really," I said. "Don't you have any other gowns? Something less childish?"

  Rutherford nodded. "I think we have some Scoobie Doos in your size, too."

  "Anything by Dolce and Gabanna? Maybe some Ralph Laurens?"

  Rutherford chuckled. "Unfortunately, designer hospital gowns aren't a thing."

  "Then give me a needle and some thread, and, honey, I'll make designer gowns a thing."

  "Are you serious, Nicky? It's one night."

  "And a whole day tomorrow before I leave with Cain," I said. "You want me to wear Winnie the Pooh? I'll wear it. But I'm doing it my way."

  "Based on your chart, you're low-risk. So, I suppose you can be given access to the arts and crafts room. You can sew whatever you like there. But keep in mind, once your gown goes to laundry, you'll be given another standard-issue one to replace it."

  I shrugged. "One day, right?"

  Rutherford laughed and shook her head. "One day. And, as before, we'll allow you to keep your heels since your chart indicates they were integral to your treatment plan before."

  "I'm a whole new woman now," I said. "But I appreciate you honoring old agreements."

  "Just change into this gown. Put your clothes in the bag on your bed and give it to me when you're done."

  Rutherford stepped out, and I slipped off my clothes and put on the damned Winnie the Pooh gown. Humiliating. But whatever. I'd make due. I slipped my heels back on and opened the door, handing the bag of my things to Rutherford.

  "You look great, Nicky," Rutherford said. "You know what the most wonderful thing about Tiggers is, right?"

  I raised an eyebrow. "That I'm the only one?"

  Rutherford did a shoddy imitation of Tigger's whoo hoo hoo giggle and returned to the nurses' station.

  I basically had free access to the rec room, crafts room, music room (more like a racket room most of the time), the library, and virtually anything else aside from the high-risk wing, where the Vilokan Asylum's most unstable and dangerous supernatural baddies were held until they made enough progress to be granted gen pop privileges.

  Vilokan Asylum had a diverse array of residents. Some of them were there on a semi-permanent basis. It wasn't that they couldn't get out if they demonstrated significant progress. It's just that they were unlikely to get there. When I was there before, the
place treated vampires, witches and warlocks of various stripes, some centaur and minotaur, werewolves and other shifters, and even a succubus who, after an unfortunate incident that impacted most of the asylum's male inmates adversely, was relegated to the high-risk, high-security wing.

  A whole new cast of characters now occupied the place. There were only a couple semi-permanent residents who I recognized. A witch, for instance, apparently attempted to curse her parents with a stupification vex but used their combined DNA to target her spell. Predictably, the vex zapped her, too, since she shared her parents' genetics. She was too oblivious to all things in existence for anyone to figure out precisely what spell she cast, which meant, in turn, no one knew how to help her. She was still there, sitting in the same chair she occupied years earlier, drooling on herself. She was only about thirteen at the time, so she was still what you'd call a teenage witch-albeit a catatonic one.

  I stepped over to her and pulled up a chair. She was the only familiar face I'd seen so far, and, before, I often sat and talked to her. I didn't know if she ever heard me. She certainly never talked back. But it was nice to have someone, even if it was by necessity, who could listen.

  "Hey there, Malinda. It's your old friend Nyx. I go by Nicky pretty much by everyone now."

  Malinda stared straight ahead. Then she moved one hand and touched mine.

  I cocked my head. "So you've made some progress?"

  Malinda squeezed my hand. I took that as a yes. Physically, Malinda was fine. A vex, like the one she inadvertently cast on herself, settles into the spirit. Medications wouldn't help her.

  "I'm fine, " I said. "Thanks for asking."

  Malinda rubbed her hand back and forth on mine. I didn't know what she was trying to say, but I imagined she was telling me she hadn't asked. Or that she thought I was full of crap.

  "I know what you're thinking. If I was fine, why the hell am I back at the asylum."

  Malinda tapped my hand again-a signal that I took as the equivalence of an affirmative response or a "yes."

  I explained what had happened, the whole story about how I'd tracked down Alice. How I'd absorbed a bat-shifting curse from her blood. I told her about Devin, Devin's mom, and how I struggled to handle my shifting issue.

  Malinda sqeeuzed my hand. Dark, olive-green energy flowed out of her fingertips and enveloped my hand.

  "What are you..."

  "Don't worry, Nicky," a high-pitched voice said. I looked up. Malinda was standing in front of me, not in the body-her hunched-over frame was still sitting next to me. But she was projecting herself, somehow. "This spell just lets you see me."

  "Malinda?" I asked. "I had no idea you could do this."

  "Neither did I," Malinda said. "I picked up a few things watching other witches come and go from the asylum. You're the first person I've tried this with."

  "So Cain doesn't know you can communicate this way?" I asked.

  Malinda's apparition shook its head. "He's pretty much impervious to magic. And spell casting is strictly forbidden here. This is the only kind of magic I've found that will work here outside of the witching hour because, really, it's not exactly magic."

  "What is it?" I asked.

  "Astral projection," Malinda said. "Similar to the power a ghost uses when it moves around, gathers energy, and the like. It's a power innate in the soul and, well, there's something about you, your energy, that allows me to do it."

  "Is there anything I can do to help?" I asked.

  "Not unless you can bring another witch to me, someone who could perform a spell."

  I bit my lip. "You know Devin, the guy I told you about. He's a warlock. Maybe he could help."

  "He could!" Malinda said. "If he knows magic. But I don't know how you'd get him in here. And the things he'd need to bring..."

  "I'm sure if I explained it to Cain, he'd let us try," I said.

  "I don't know. If Cain learns I'm using magic, that I can do more than squeeze my hand to communicate, and he finds out the spell I'd need him to do, he'd never approve it. It's dark magic, Nicky."

  "Dark like what?" I asked.

  "Ever heard of blood magic?" Malinda asked.

  "My boyfriend, I think, uses fire magic mostly. He's never mentioned blood magic."

  "The same power in the blood that vampires crave," Malinda explained, "the power of human souls, it's the source of power that blood witches wield."

  "Sort of like the spell you're using right now?" I asked.

  "It's related. But I'm constrained here on account of the asylum's wards and, also, since I can't do much other than project myself around the place. I certainly can't wield any blood magic. So far, you're the first one I could attach my astral form to. Other blood magic usually requires more blood, the blood of others, to work."

  I sighed. "I don't know that I can ask Devin to do something like that."

  "I understand," Malinda said. "But I need what I need. A witch, any witch or warlock will do, who is willing to draw on a blood spell to purge the vex from my body."

  "Before," I said. "They told us you'd cast a spell and used your parents' DNA to target it. Then, it backfired on you."

  Malinda sighed. "A stupid mistake. They think I was just a kid, angry at her parents because they wouldn't let me stay up late. But my parents, Nicky, deserved it. If this is the fate I had to suffer to stop them, so be it."

  "Did your parent hurt you?" I asked.

  "No. Never. It's not like that... my parents were necromancers."

  I cleared my throat. "Forgive my scant knowledge of the different schools of witchcraft. But that means they raise the dead, correct?"

  Malinda nodded. "But for every person they raised, everybody they enslaved to do their bidding, they had to offer a sacrifice. The spirits they raised took over the bodies of those they killed."

  I pulled my hair back and tucked it behind my ears. "How many people are we talking about?"

  "I know of at least four, but there may have been more. They usually took in homeless people, which no one would think to look for if they went missing. And they evoked the spirits of ancient witches and warlocks to take their place."

  I narrowed my eyes. "And these witches and warlocks are still out there?"

  "Three of them, at least. One of them was brought here. She was dealt with and exorcised."

  "Exorcised how?" I asked.

  Malinda smirked. "She shouldn't have touched me."

  "Did she know who you were?" I asked.

  Malinda nodded. "She came to kill me. It's the only way to free my parents from the vex I cast upon them."

  "And you said there are three more?" I asked.

  "And they will not make the same mistake as their predecessor," Malinda said. "I need your help, Nicky. If your warlock cannot help, I need another witch. A blood witch."

  "If a blood witch could free you from the vex, couldn't a blood witch also free your parents?"

  Malinda shook her head. "I am the witch who authored the vex that affected both my parents and me. A blood which can only dispel the vex with my cooperation. I'm obviously willing to cooperate if it frees me. But not if such a witch intends to free my parents."

  "So these other witches, they have two ways to free your parents. They'd either have to convince you to help them do it, which you wouldn't do..."

  "Or kill me, yes, as I said before. The vex is bound to my spirit, my life force. If I died, the vex would be undone."

  I shook my head. "I'm sorry. I bet you've been awfully lonely."

  Malinda hung her head. "I've wanted to die. It would be better than being like this. But if I did, my parents would be free."

  I raised my eyebrows. "I can't imagine how difficult that must be. Sort of puts my problems into perspective."

  "You used to talk about how you felt your body was a prison," Malinda said.

  "I'm sorry," I said. "Compared to what you're going through, that was really insensitive."

  "Not at all," Malinda said. "Our situations a
re different. What you felt was real. You should never discount your feelings because someone else has it worse off. You're entitled to how you feel."

  I nodded. "I appreciate that. Though, I've come a long way. This gown, well, it isn't exactly flattering. But when I take the stage, when I sing, I'm finally comfortable in my own skin. I love who I am now. It's who I used to be that haunts me."

  "Sounds like shit you need to talk to Cain about."

  I laughed. "We're already working on it."

  "It's nice to have someone to talk to, Nicky."

  I smiled. "If we can get you out of this vex, maybe you can be free to talk to all kinds of people. At least those you want to talk to. You said you need a blood witch, or a witch at least willing to conduct a blood spell?"

  "And I'll need something else. I hesitate to ask, given what you told me already."

  "What is it?" I asked.

  "I need blood from someone who has been cursed or vexed."

  I shook my head. "I have a curse, but Malinda, I don't have blood. And getting Cain's blood... to shed his blood at all would mean whoever did it would receive his curse sevenfold."

  "I'm not talking about Cain's blood," Malinda said, gesturing down one of the halls. "I'm talking about hers."

  When she said it, I looked down the hall just in time to see a giant bat flying down the hall.

  Chapter eighteen

  Rutherford, with something like a butterfly net, was chasing the vampire bat. Debbie shifted like I had. She was bitten by a bat shifter, too. And shifting must've allowed her to slip out of her straight jacket and collar.

  Malinda removed her hand from mine and, when she did, her apparition disappeared.

  I ran over to Rutherford. "Give me the net."

  Cain came running up behind me. "She recently fed. Once she was full, she just... changed."

  I nodded. She wasn't hungry. I could handle this. I took off, relying on my enhanced speed, and chased her across the common room. Vampires are fast, even in bat form. It hadn't occurred to me to try and use my speed in that form. I was too freaked out about being a bat at all to even consider exploring what I might be capable of in that shape.

  Snagging her with a net probably wasn't going to convince her to reconsider her disapproval of me as her son's girlfriend. Still, we couldn't just let her fly around and bite someone.