The Early Punch Parodies of Sherlock Holmes

by Bill Peschel

  [back] Pesht: The eastern half of Budapest, Hungary. It was a separate city on the east bank of the Danube River until 1873, when it was united with its western neighbor, Óbuda.

  [back] Triple Alliance: A military alliance among Austria-Hungary, Germany, and Italy that promised mutual support in case of an attack. Founded in 1882, the alliance broke up at the start of World War I when Italy refused to participate.

  [back] Hour’s purchase: Not likely to last an hour. When an estate is sold, it is said to be worth so many years’ purchase. The value is determined by multiplying the number of years by the amount the estate would bring in each year. So to buy an estate at twenty years’ purchase is to buy it for a sum equal to the total return from it for twenty years. So someone whose life is not worth an hour’s purchase is in extreme danger.

  [back] Eljens: Hungarian for “Hail!” or “Hurrah!” Johann Strauss II wrote a polka celebrating the country called “Eljen a Magyar” (“Long Live Hungary!”)

  [back] Umbrosa: A Latin word meaning “shadowy.”

  [back] Basket-hilted life-preserver: A sword with a hilt that covers the entire hand, protecting it.

  [back] Aminadab: With a possible nod to the Mormons in “A Study in Scarlet,” Aminadab appears in “The Book of Mormon” as a prison guard who returns to the faith after witnessing a visitation from angels.

  [back] Maskelyne and Cooke: Magician John Nevil Maskelyne (1839-1917) devised a number of illusions with George Alfred Cooke (1823-1905) and David Devant (1868-1941). The Egyptian Hall was a private museum built in the ancient Egyptian style. It was used for special exhibitions, not all of them on an Egyptian theme, and rented out for performances. Maskelyne and Cook performed there from 1873 to 1904. The hall was torn down in 1905 for redevelopment. (As a side note, Dorothy L. Sayers references Maskelyne and Devant in two Lord Peter Wimsey stories: “In the Teeth of the Evidence” and “The Undignified Melodrama of the Bone of Contention.”

  [back] Braces: The British word for suspenders.

  [back] Explode in the streets: Each child’s name references an author of detective or crime fiction. Edgar Allan Poe (1809-1849) is credited with launching the genre with the creation of C. Auguste Dupin, the detective in “The Murders in the Rue Morgue,” “The Purloined Letter” and “The Mystery of Marie Rogêt”; Émile Gaboriau (1832-1873) introduced amateur detective Monsieur Lecoq, a character based on the thief-turned-detective Eugène François Vidocq (1775-1857); Ann Radcliffe (1764-1823) was a pioneer of Gothic fiction in novels such as “The Mysteries of Udolpho” that influenced Poe, Walter Scott and the Marquis de Sade.

  [back] Stolen a march: Meaning to maneuver one’s troops rapidly to gain an advantage on an enemy. In Great Britain, the Marches was a buffer zone created between England and Scotland during the 13th century that was fought over by the ruling clans for the next 350 years. Only when the kingdoms were united under King James I in 1603 did the fighting end.

  [back] Havering: Scottish slang for talking nonsense.

  [back] Sporran: A leather pouch or purse worn by Highlanders in full dress.

  [back] Strand Magazine: The monthly magazine (1891-1950) that published Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes short stories. The magazine also published work from many of Britain’s great writers, including H.G. Welles, Agatha Christie, Dorothy L. Sayers, P.G. Wodehouse, and Edgar Wallace, as well as the “gentleman thief” Raffles stories by Doyle’s relative Ernest William Hornung.

  [back] Verb. sap.: Abbreviation of verbum sapienti, Latin for “word to the wise,” but meaning “enough said.”

  [back] Ticket-of-leave man: An early version of parole in Australia, consisting of a document issued to convicts giving them the right to live and seek work in a designated district for a period of time.

  [back] Serpentine: A 40-acre artificial lake—its snake-like shape inspired its name—that forms the western border of Hyde Park in central London.

  [back] Huit tableaux: “Great new drama in five acts and eight scenes.”

  [back] De plus Anglais: A French idiom meaning, literally, “that which is the strangest,” but which means, in this case, “as British as British can be.”

  [back] Roars of laughter: The Parisian audience is enjoying the sight of an Englishman attempting to order a steak using ungrammatical French, followed by his son’s lisping reply. Also, while beefsteak (bifteck) could be found on French menus at the time, it is a quintessential English dish.

  [back] Peritura charta: Latin for “perishable writings” or ephemera.

  [back] White or otherwise: A reference to Conan Doyle’s historical novel “The White Company.”

  [back] Gadarene class: A headlong rush. From the demon-possessed Gadarene swine in Matthew 8:28 that rushed into the sea.

  [back] Le Batard de Mauleon: Published in English as “The Iron Hand; Or, The Knight of Mauleon” (1848)

  [back] Gum and ivory: Gum copal was one of many valuable resources desired by European traders. The tree resin is used in varnishes, adhesives, paints and perfumes.

  [back] Wadi Halfa: A city of 15,000 in northern Sudan, near the border with Egypt. Mahdism in Islam is the belief that the “Guided One,” which mahdi means, will return before the Day of Judgment to rid the world of evil, much in the same way that Jesus is believed to return as the Messiah. Many men have claimed this title, which resulted in uprisings and revolutions. In this case, Muhammad Ahmad (1845-1885) declared himself Mahdi in 1881 and vowed to overthrow the government of Sudan, then controlled by the Ottoman Empire and Egypt. Egypt’s rising debt to European banks, caused by corruption and the cost of building the Suez Canal, led Britain to assume control of Egypt’s fiscal affairs. Worried about Mahdism spreading into Egypt, in 1883, William Hicks was given command of Egyptian forces in the Sudanese capital of Khartoum with orders to defeat the rebels. Their campaign against the Mahdi ended in defeat at the battle of El Obeid. Britain then decided that Egypt couldn’t afford to maintain garrisons in Sudan, and sent General George Gordon to Khartoum to arrange for their retreat. But Gordon, possibly intentionally, stayed long enough in the capital for the Mahdi’s forces to surround the city. Despite the attempt of a relief expedition, Khartoum fell on Jan. 25, 1885, after a siege of 313 days. Two days later, the relief expedition arrived to find Gordon and the garrison had been massacred.

  Spurred on by public opinion wanted revenge for the defeat, and after spending several years rebuilding Egypt’s economy and army, the British tried again in 1898. An Anglo-Egyptian army under Horatio Kitchener defeated Ahmad’s successor, Abdallahi ibn Muhammad at the battle of Omdurman and recaptured the capital. Britain re-established a government in the Sudan and held the country until its independence in 1956.

  [back] Piaster: A unit of currency used in the Sudan, Egypt, the Ottoman Empire and other Middle Eastern nations.

  [back] Made in the East: Napoleon was quoted as saying “All great reputations have come from the East,” usually paired before it with the observation that “All Europe is but a mole-hill.” In exile on St. Helena, he expanded on that theme when describing his invasion of Egypt:

  “The seductions of an oriental conquest turned me aside from thoughts of Europe more than I would have believed. . . . In Egypt I found myself freed from the obstacles of an irksome civilization. I was full of dreams. . . . I saw myself founding a religion, marching into Asia, riding an elephant, a turban on my head, and in my hand the new Koran that I would have composed to suit my needs. In my undertakings I would have combined the experiences of the two worlds, exploiting for my own profit the theatre of all history. . . . The time I spent in Egypt was the most beautiful of my life.”

  [back] Natron: A naturally occurring mix of sodium carbonate decahydrate and sodium bicarbonate (soda ash and baking soda) found in the water. Historically used as a water softener, teeth cleanser, preservative, and antiseptic.

  [back] Ababdeh: A nomadic tribe living along the Nile in southern Egypt.

  [back] Koorbash: A whip made from hipp
opotamus or rhinoceros hide.

  [back] Angareeb: A traditional low bed made of wood, leather, and rope. The Sudanese consider their angareeb to be a lifelong possession, to the point of being buried on it.

  [back] Kabbabish: A large Arab tribe in the Sudan.

  [back] Completely satisfy: A reference to the anti-war poem, “After Blenheim” by Robert Southey (1774-1843).

  [back] Femme vent: A female whirlwind.

  [back] Irishman: Although his family came from Ireland, ACD was born in Edinburgh.

  [back] Travestying it: A reference to “Sheerluck Jones: or, Why D’Gillette Him Off?” by Malcolm Watson and Edward La Serre.

  [back] A peu près: French for “more or less” or “approximately.”

  [back] I’ll sing thee songs of Larrabee: A reference to the popular Irish ballad “I’ll Sing Thee Songs of Araby.”

  [back] George Newnes: A publishing house started by Sir George Newnes (1851-1910). Newnes also started several popular publications, including Tit-Bits, Country Life and The Strand. The company was bought by IPC Media in 1963, but the Newnes imprint owned by Elsevier continues to publish books.

  [back] Sir Conan: Punch’s comment brings up an understandable confusion about Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s name. Although frequently referred to as Conan Doyle, Conan is technically not part of his last name. He was baptized Arthur Ignatius Conan, with Doyle listed as his surname. He was knighted as Sir Doyle, not Sir Conan Doyle. The source of the confusion lies with Conan Doyle himself. He began using his compound last name as a teenager, and stuck with it throughout his life, even bestowing it on his second wife, making her Jean Conan Doyle.

  [back] Masterpiece: A reference to “Invasion of the Crimea,” a history of the war published in eight volumes between 1863 and 1887 by Alexander Kinglake (1809-1891).

  [back] Admiring Boers: Lt. Eric MacNaught Sutherland was killed near Frederickstad on May 29th, two days before the terms of peace were formally signed. He was buried with 216 British casualties under a cast-iron cross at Klerksdorp cemetery in South Africa. In 2005, thieves stole the crosses and sold them for scrap, making their remains impossible to find. Sutherland was the son of Sir Thomas Sutherland, founder of the Hongkong and Shanghai Banking Corp. and chairman of the P&O Steamship Co. Founded in 1822, the P&O, by the time of the Boer War, was delivering passengers and mail through the empire, including for 11 years opium from India.

  [back] Magistrate’s Clerk: Watts-Dunton: Theodore Watts-Dunton (1832-1914) was a critic and poet known best for being Algernon Swinburne’s caretaker near the end of the poet’s life; Edmund Gosse (1849-1928) was an author, critic and poet; Robertson Nicoll (1851-1923) was a journalist, editor and Scottish Free Church minister; Shorter: Clement K. Shorter was an editor for the Illustrated London News and an authority on the Brontë sisters and Napoleon.

  [back] Burke and Hare: To meet a medical school’s demand for cadavers for dissection, William Burke and William Hare committed a number of murders in Edinburgh, Scotland, in 1828. Burke was hanged the next year, while Hare, for agreeing to testify, was given immunity and released.

  [back] Frohman: Charles Frohman (1856-1915) was an American theatrical producer who backed William Gillette’s production of “Sherlock Holmes.”

  [back] Roast: A reference to “Ode to Tobacco” by Charles Stuart Calverley (1831–1884), in which we’re informed that tobacco juice can be fatal to felines: “Not to thy credit; / How one (or two at most) / Drops make a cat a ghost—/ Useless, except to roast.”

  [back] Brougham: A four-wheeled carriage used for conveying passengers. Pronounced “broom,” which next to “swept clean” creates a pun.

  [back] Wuddus: Contributors to Punch did not receive credit until 1902, when their names were listed at the end of the bound volumes published every six months. Since the pronunciation of Wuddus is close to Wodehouse, one wonders if this was a way to get his name into the story.

  [back] Dog-stories: The conversation from members of the country gentry tended to be limited to talking about their dogs and the virtues of various breeds.

  [back] Switzerland bores: Londoners who visit the country and return with stories of their dangerous mountain climbing activities.

  [back] ’tec: A contraction of detective, nowadays seen only in crossword puzzles.

  [back] Pom-pom shell: A reference to the 37mm autocannon called the QF 1-pounder. Designed in 1890, it first saw use in the Second Boer War (1899-1902). It was the first weapon that could fire multiple rounds without reloading, up to 200 rounds a minute, with a distinctive “pom-pom” sound that inspired its nickname.

  [back] Kamptulieon: An archaic spelling of kamptulicon, a floor covering made from natural rubber and powdered cork. Although it was praised for being easy to clean and its ability to retain heat, resist water, and deaden sound, its grey-brown color made it unappealing. The name is from the Greek kampto for “flexible.”

  [back] Illimitable veld: Maoriland by Mr. Seddon: A reference to the Maori tribe who ruled New Zealand before the British came. Richard Seddon (1845-1906) became the country’s second premiere (and its longest-serving) and was nicknamed “King Dick” for his ability to wield power; in the White House: President Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919), who was known for his physical activity and indomitable energy; stoep and onions: Paul Kruger (1825-1904) ruled South Africa as its president. A stoep is a veranda in front of a house; in Calcutta: Lord Curzon (1859-1925) was viceroy of India from 1899 to 1905; illimitable veld: Whitstable oysters have been harvested from the Kent seaside town since Roman times. Joseph Chamberlain (1836-1914) is regarded as Britain’s greatest politician who never became prime minister. As Colonial Secretary from 1895 to 1903, he was involved in the failed Jameson Raid that attempted to expand Britain’s dominion to all of South Africa. Illimitable means without limits and veld is open grassland in southern Africa. It is from the Afrikaan word for “field.”

  [back] Remanded: To hold a defendant in custody or on bail until trial.

  [back] Tit-Bits: A weekly magazine (1881-1984) that published human-interest stories, short stories and novels. It published several Holmes pastiches and parodies, collected in the 223B Casebook series from Peschel Press.

  [back] Eye-glass: As noted in “The Return of Picklock,” Joseph Chamberlain (1836-1914) is regarded as Britain’s greatest politician who never became prime minister. His monocle and an orchid in his lapel were his trademark.

  [back] Tulwar: Archaic name for talwar, a curved sword found in South Asia.

  [back] With his seraglio: Imaum: An archaic spelling of imam, a religious leader of a Muslim community; Tulliegorum: Not found on a map. “Tullochgorum” is a traditional song from Scotland that encourages the audience to leave their cares aside and dance. Typical lyric: “Let Whig and Tory a’ agree to spend this night in mirth and glee / And cheerfu’ sing alang wi’ me the Reel O’ Tullochgorum”; seraglio: Women who live in a harem. From the Italian serraglio, from the Persian saray for “palace.”

  [back] Nijni Novgorod: The fifth-largest city in Russia, located on the Volga River 260 miles east of Moscow.

  [back] Anarchist: A cousin of nihilism, but while it rejects all authority, anarchism advocates organizing into voluntary institutions that are self-governing. There are many schools of thought that range from nihilism to collectivism.

  [back] Penal servitude: A form of punishment that forced inmates to work during their sentence, such as turning a crank machine, moving cannonballs from one pile to another, or walking a treadmill. Between 1788 and 1868, thousands of prisoners were sent to penal colonies in Australia.

  [back] Argand: An oil lamp invented by Swiss physicist Aimé Argand (1755–1803). Argand’s design consumed its vegetable-oil fuel more efficiently and requires less trimming of the wick. It was popular until the 1850s when it was replaced by lamps that used cheaper kerosene.

  [back] Galvanizer: Galvanizing is the process of applying a zinc coating to steel or iron with the help of an electric current.
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  [back] Paflagonia: Lehman probably took Paflagonia from Paphlagonia, the ancient name for a region on the north coast of Turkey.

  [back] Mikado: The emperor of Japan, whose role has ranged from figurehead to ruler depending upon the times and the character of the monarch. From 1889 to 1947, power was held by the emperor. The word mikado means “the honorable gate” and is a reference to the gate of the imperial palace. The word is obsolete.

  [back] Short skirt: In 1901, the definition of short means the skirt is off the floor and revealing a bit of ankle.

  [back] Infinitives: The joke lies in the clause “entirely and without redemption” that’s dividing the infinitive “to split.” While it’s considered wrong to split infinitives, there is no rule opposing it. As lexicologist Eric Partridge puts it: “Avoid the split infinitive wherever possible; but if it is the clearest and the most natural construction, use it boldly. The angels are on our side.” Captain “to boldly go” Kirk would agree.

  [back] On that account: Imaum of Kashmir: The religious leader of the Muslim community, in this case of Kashmir, a valley between the Great Himalayas and the Pir Panjal mountain range (it is now a larger area covering both India and Pakistan); epergne: An ornamental centerpiece for the dining table, typically used to hold fruit, flowers, and candles; Galen: Galen of Pergamon (129-c.200-217) was a Greek physician known for his contributions to medicine and philosophy.