Just Drop Out (A High School Bully Romance): Hannaford Prep Year One

by J Bree

  I shut my eyes and take a deep breath. When I open them again she can see the resolution I’ve come to.

  “Burn it then.”

  The flames eat the paper ravenously. Avery drops in into the bin and soon the whole thing is engulfed in flames. The smile she gives me as she walks away is infuriating but I give her my best serene face in return. There are things I know better than most about myself and the ways of the world. A night of no sleep won’t kill me. A week without food won’t kill me. Finding my mother's dead body rotting on my kitchen floor won’t kill me. A bullet to the shoulder won’t kill me. The bullying at Hannaford Prep won’t kill me.

  Chapter Twenty

  Lunch is the only meal of the day that is at a set time for me. Since my drugging episode I had started skipping breakfast and eating dinner at 10pm, right before the dining hall closed and I was usually only ever joined by teachers. Still a risk as I know Avery has most of the school staff under her impressive thumb but there were only so many protein bars I could eat and meals I could skip. The small amount of weight I had put on was quickly disappearing off of my body and I miss my boobs already. I also miss the french toast with syrup and strawberries that are only served at breakfast. Ugh.

  For lunch each day I select a sealed drink, either an iced coffee or a bottle of water, and a couple of apples and bananas. It’s barely enough to stop the intense hunger pangs in my empty stomach and I still have to listen to the rumbling for most of the afternoon. To every other student it looks like I’ve gone on a strict diet which is common amongst the girls here. I know for a fact half there are at least five girls I share the bathroom with that are vomiting after their meals in an effort to be supermodel thin. One of them even confronted me and asked for my secret to being so small. When I answered poverty with blank face she snarled at me like a rabid dog. Calorie deprivation can turn even the nicest girls into bitches.

  My phone pings as I sit and I’m careful to keep my eyes on my food while I fish around in my bag to grab it and see what Matteo needs from me.

  You never call to chat anymore.

  I stare at the screen for a second while the other students around me eat and talk and laugh like normal teenagers. What I wouldn’t give to be one of them. To be worried about what my parents think about my grades or what I’m going to wear to the next party I attend. Instead here I am trying to decipher obscure text messages from gangster king pins while planning my next move against billionaire sociopaths.

  I need to catch a break.

  I wonder what it is about me that appeals to these types of guys. Matteo had hand picked me out of hundreds of foster kids at age nine to train to someday become the Wolf. Joey had taken one look at me when I arrived at Hannaford and decided I would make a good game. If I knew what it was that appealed to them I could try and snuff it out or at least conceal it. Instead I’m stuck dealing with the ramifications of their desires.

  I shove my tray aside and tap out a reply. I can use this opening if I’m smart about it, I want to try and clear my Summer Break from any Club business. I need some downtime.

  I’m fielding a lot at the moment. I’m making some good connections. A lot of future leaders in my classes.

  I pick up an apple. I like the wholeness of it. I can see if anyone has tampered with it so now I’m surviving on fruit. Lauren sits down across from me and gives me a little half smile. I return it with a sigh.

  I’ve heard some disturbing things about you, Starbright.

  Ugh, I hated it when he called me that. I’m sure he was one of the last people on this Earth that knew my middle name. He enjoys teasing me with it. Nothing makes my blood boil quicker than hearing the name my doped up mother assigned me. Eclipse Starbright Anderson. The second I turn eighteen I’m changing my name to Claire, or Kylie, or fucking Frances. Anything normal, anything that people just write down without making a smart-ass comment about.

  I’m acing my classes and I’m finally looking like a girl instead of a skinned rat. What’s so disturbing about that?

  Avery and the guys walk in and line up for food. Harley is back to laughing and joking with them all, my drugged night of vomit clearly forgotten. Avery looks dimmed from her usual smiling overlord shine. I watch them all out of the corner of my eye and I don’t miss the looks Ash sends me. Curious.

  Why does Joey Beaumont want you dead?

  My stomach drops. So Joey is running his mouth about me so much that now even Matteo has heard it all the way back at Mounts Bay? Rationally I know the Jackal has eyes here as well and any of them could have passed the information on but it still makes a shiver run up my spine. I know how badly Matteo wants to own me, mind and body, so this at least I can work to my favor.

  He wants to fuck me. He’s made a game out of it. I have no intention of fucking any guy here and when I expressed that to him he tried to rape me. He was unsuccessful and doesn’t take kindly to the word no.

  I think Matteo gets a kick out of the idea of me being untouched. I think he fantasizes about being the one and only person to be inside me someday. I know this is the best card to play. Maybe I am learning how to play the political game.

  I will pay little Joey a visit. Do not argue with me on this.

  I glance over to watch Joey as he pressed over his group of flunkies like he’s there king and smile. Occasionally it was a good thing to keep Matteo’s dreams about me alive.

  I wouldn’t dream of arguing with you, Jackal.

  As I grab my tray to head back out of the dining hall I see Joey frowning down at his phone and it feels like a victory to me.

  “You should talk Avery into taking some self defense lessons.”

  Ash stares over the library table at me like I’ve lost my goddamn mind. Maybe I have, but I’ve also lost the ability to give a fuck at this place anymore. I decide it's sleep deprivation. I only got twenty minutes of sleep after finishing the re-do on my Math workbook but I’m confident I’ll get at least an A- on it so it was worth it.

  “And why do you think I should do that?” he speaks slowly, dragging out the words like I’ve very simple.

  “Maybe next time your sociopath brother takes a swing at her she can plant him on his ass like he deserves.” His eyebrows show the exact toll my words have taken on him. He’s fucking devastated and my heart drops to see it. I guess she didn’t tell him about Joey’s homecoming. I feel weirdly guilty, like somehow it’s my fault his twin was hurt.

  “When did you see that?” his voice is as raw as his face. I look down at the page in front of him and I realize he’s shaking. Fucking Joey, he ruins everything he touches. Even his siblings have been broken by him.

  “Last week. I tried to speak to her about it and she freaked. She should at least learn enough to make him think twice about touching her.”

  Ash groans and scrubs a hand over his face, all long tan fingers I try not to stare at. It’s jarring to see real emotions on his face this close. He’s usually so reserved, so cut off, that I never see his face without a sneer in my direction. It’s oddly comforting.

  “I’ve tried. She said if she fights back it’ll only make him more violent towards her. We always make sure she’s has one of us with her.” He groans again and cradles his head in his hands.

  There’s so many questions I want to ask him but I don’t want to break the spell that has him opening up to me. Does his father hit them both or was Joey lying? What does their mother think about this? How much time are they forced to spend with Joey outside of the schooling year? How does Avery have access to enough money to pay Harley’s tuition, which I know for a fact is over eighty thousand dollars a year?

  Why does Ash lie about needing help with his classwork?

  I’m still deciding if I’m brave enough to try and ask him any of these questions when Blaise arrives. We’ve been studying for twenty minutes already so I give him a look. He’s still doing his best to not look at me at all so he doesn’t see it. My temper flares.

  “How kind of you to gra
ce us with your presence.” Sarcasm drips from my words. Blaise ignores me but Ash chuckles from where his head is still pressed into his palms.

  “He does what he can for his people.”

  “Yes, yes, you’re both so fucking amusing. I had to re-sit a test for history because apparently Mr Smithton gets hard over ruining my life. He called my dad so now I’m truly fucked. Why can’t I just drop out and make music and fuck groupies and get fucking blind drunk every night? Why do I have to learn inane bullshit about dead people? Why?”

  “Ah, good. The dramatics have started, Mounty settle in. We’re going to be here for hours while he gets this out of his system.”

  Blaise slumps into his chair theatrically and I scoff at him. He looks like a poor little rock star, forced to be a scholar. He groans and tugs at his hair roughly so it stands up everywhere. He has sex hair at the best of times but now it’s bordering on obscene. I can’t tear my eyes away from it no matter how hard I try.

  “I hate this place and I hate my dads business and I hate the expectations he has for me.”

  Ash drops his hands and looks over at his friend with fake sympathy, nodding at him.

  “Yes, so unfair to be the sole heir to a billion dollar empire that your father sold his soul to be able to create. So sad. Do you want a drink, Mounty? May as well drown this tirade out while we have the chance.”

  Ash starts snapping his fingers like a bartender is going to appear out of nowhere. I smoother a laugh in my blazer sleeve. My chest aches at being so close to their friendship and playful banter, my favorite blend of sarcasm and fondness. The world was a cruel place to put this so close to me but so wildly out of my reach.

  “You know what, fuck capitalism. If we could be happy with what we have instead of constantly striving to be at the top I wouldn’t be in this mess. Let’s be fucking hippies instead. Let’s make music and throw away all of our worldly possessions and ask the moon what it thinks about our problems.”

  That strikes a familiar cord in my chest. My mom used to get high and talk like that all the time. It’s how I got my name, for god’s sake.

  “No, no I won’t be growing a beard and smoking joints out of a van like a fucking pedophile. Get it all out though, bottling it up will only make it worse.”

  I tune out their banter, as amusing as it is, to look over Blaise’s classwork. He’s started bringing in bigger and bigger piles and it’s clear to me just how far behind he really is. How he managed to convince his parents and the faculty that he could afford to miss the first few weeks of the year is beyond me. I’m good but I’m not sure even I can work this miracle given how little time we actually interact.

  I’m about to interrupt the pity party to suggest we start in on the mountain of work when I feel someone walk up behind me. I tense, expecting it to be Joey and a dark, hidden part of my mind expects him to have a knife. Ash and Blaise fall silent as the chair next to mine pulls back and a student I don’t recognize sits down. He’s blond and broad but with none of the grace or stunning features that Harley has.

  “Can I help you?” I say, aiming for a light tone.

  “Sure you can. I wanted to discuss the sweep Joey started.”

  For fucks sake. I cut him an icy glare but he just smiles in return. His teeth are too straight, that fake white row that makes him look like an android. Everything about him makes my teeth clench so hard my jaw aches.

  “Look, it’s admirable that you’re taking a stand and refusing to fuck anyone for the sake of the money. It shows you have more integrity than the average Mounty. At some point, someone is going to fuck you and get the money. Why not give Joey a taste of his own medicine and let me fuck you for it. I’ll even give you a percentage of the sweep for your troubles.”

  A percentage. For my troubles. I silently weigh up my options. There’s three librarians and two are within eyesight of our table. If I slam his face into the desk and break his pompous nose there’ll be too many witnesses. If I ignore him he might go away or maybe he’ll start stalking me instead. I could call the Jackal and have him murdered in his sleep.

  The guy, who still hasn’t even told me his name, slings an arm over my shoulders and his hand ends up hovering over my chest. I have what can only be described as a full rage blackout.

  One minute he’s laughing and touching me and the next he’s howling and clutching his now broken hand to his chest like it’s a baby bird. I’m much faster than he is and while he’s flailing I slap a hand over his mouth so the librarians don’t assume he’s being murdered and come over here to stop me. He could push me off but he’s too busy losing his shit over his mangled hand.

  “What’s your name, asshole?” I whisper. He’s swearing and sweating too much to answer so Blaise surprises me by doing it for him.

  “Mounty, this is Samuel Hanson. He’s a sophomore and he’s at risk of being kicked out by his parents because he’s been caught gambling away his trust fund. Is that why you need the money, Sammy boy? Run out of funds to feed your addiction?”

  Samuel manages to stop screaming so I let my hand drop away from his face. He’s panting and his eyes keep rolling back into his head. It’s pathetic.

  “Your pain tolerance is worse than a child’s.” I hiss at him and Ash snickers but I don’t spare him a glance. I need to make a point with this guy. It’s been too long since I hurt someone for propositioning me and they’ve forgotten what I can do.

  “I won’t fuck you. I won’t fuck anyone at this school, not for a hundred grand.”

  “The pot is sitting around the seven hundred grand mark now, Mounty.” drawls Ash. I don’t let the shock show on my face. These fucking wealthy bastards.

  “Well, I won’t fuck you for that either even if my percentage was a hundred percent. If you so much as look in my direction again, I will bury you. Do those rumors make there way up here about us Mounty’s too? About how easily I can and will kill you for insulting me?”

  He’s managed to pull himself together enough to kick back into obnoxious rich kid mode. “I will report you and you’ll be out for this, you little cunt.”

  I. Hate. That. Word.

  My moms boyfriends all used to call her that, or me, or they’d tell me all about my mom’s gaping cunt. I was six the first time I realized what they were talking about. It still sends me to a crazy place in my head to hear it uttered.

  “No, you’ll walk your ass out of here and you’ll do exactly what she said.” says Blaise and i’ve never heard him so angry. “See, you’re encroaching on my study time and she’s the best tutor I’ve ever had, so if I have to beat you senseless myself to keep her here and teaching me then I will, Hanson. Are you ready to bleed by me again?” Blaise cracks his knuckles to drive home the point and Samuel stands. The chair falls as her lurches out of the room and out of my life.

  “Is your crisis over now? Can we get started on the important stuff?” I say as I shake out my hand. The force required to break bones is less substantial when you know exactly where to strike but that didn’t mean I wasn’t paying for it.

  Blaise finally glances at me and nods like he didn’t just defend me.

  None of us talk about how exactly it is that I know how to break someone's hand using only two fingers.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Hannaford is a writhing snake pit of gossips.

  I didn’t even make it to my room after my tutoring session with Ash and Blaise without being asked about Samuel. It was late by the time we finished up and I’d been forced to skip dinner.

  My stomach wakes me at 5am and I know for certain I can’t skip breakfast. Harley will be pissed if he has to listen to the grumbling of my stomach all through our classes. The dining hall opens at 5.30am and I reason with myself that I’ll be safe to eat at that time, what other students would be willing to eat that early?

  I’m pissed to find that there are a heap of students waiting at the door for the dining hall to open. It turns out the swim team, track, and the row team all meet at 6a
m to torture themselves. It’s all elbows and swearing to get to the front of the line so I hang back and survey the crowd. Harley is on the swim team but he’s not here. The room he shares with Ash and Blaise probably has a fully stocked kitchen and a personal chef for all I know. Yes, I’ll admit I’m hungry and bitter. I need to come up with a better system to keep me from turning into a hangry bitch.

  My mouth waters when I see the french toast and I decide to risk a second roofie episode. I pile on the cream and strawberries, drizzle so much syrup it drips everywhere and I’m a sticky mess.

  I’m a happy, sticky mess.

  When I’ve literally licked my plate clean I dump my tray into the pile by the door and start back towards the girls dorm for a quick shower before classes. My belly is full and I even catch myself humming cheerfully under my breath. The perfect morning.

  Rough hands grab me and pull me into an empty classroom.

  I shove at them but I have a 6 foot guy on each side of me, neither of whom I have spoken to before. They’re upperclassmen for sure. I grunt and pull at their arms only to have their hands tighten around my biceps. Avery isn’t the only person who is swift in their retribution. I’m sure this is at Samuel’s doing. I’m convincing myself to stay still and meek when a third student steps into the classroom.

  Spencer Hillsong.

  He’s the guy who approached me after the naked photos of me were sent out. I’d forgotten he even exists but he hasn’t forgotten me.

  Now I know how much money is on the line for having sex with me I’m sure that’s what he’s here for. Even rich kids must be tempted by seven hundred thousand, especially those who don’t have unlimited access to their parents wallets.

  “My sweet mother would be so disappointed.” He says as he steps up towards me. He smiling cruelly but he’s got nothing on Joey or Matteo. Still, he could rape me for the cash all the same.