by Marika Ray
I didn’t. Couldn’t. Shame and anger swirled in my chest and I needed to get out of there. I wouldn’t leave her stranded, but I couldn’t look at her beautiful face for one more second. We both race walked down the sidewalk until we came to my truck. I unlocked the doors and climbed in, Finnie following me on her side. She was breathing hard when I started the engine and pulled onto the road to head home.
We sat there in uncomfortable silence until I pulled into my long driveway.
Finnie inhaled sharply. “I’ve made some horrible mistakes because of developing feelings. I won’t do that again. As lovely as that was, Charlie, I won’t let it bleed into my job.”
I ignored her, slid out of the truck without a word, and slammed the door. I didn’t know what she was talking about nor did I have the emotional space to explore that with her.
Nothing a jar of moonshine and a night out on my deck chair couldn’t handle.
9
Finnie
Well, I finally got what I thought I wanted: a serious conversation with Charlie. Turns out serious Charlie wasn’t nearly as fun as dance in the moonlight and drink green juice Charlie. Don’t get me wrong, the conversation all night had been amazing. More than amazing. But then I’d gone and pissed him off. He was no longer talking to me, which made staying at his house more than a little uncomfortable. I put my pajamas on, straightened the blankets on the lumpy couch, and hoped he’d come inside, touched by the moon magic and back to his joking, teasing self.
In the meantime, I’d spend one more night here, though I doubted I’d be getting much sleep. All I could replay in my mind when I shut my eyes was that incredible kiss. The way he’d cupped my face so gently with his rough hands, but then ground his obvious desire against me. I’d lost all track of time and space, forgetting we were out in the open in front of my soon-to-be clinic. I’d never had a kiss like that. Didn’t even know they existed until Charlie’s lips were on mine.
I whacked my pillow and tried to get comfortable. Chester had abandoned me to be outside with Charlie. There wasn’t a single noise or any reason I shouldn’t be asleep by now. But my skin was on fire, my heart was racing, and no amount of squeezing my thighs together could ease whatever Charlie had awakened in me. Just an endless loop of that kiss in my mind, over and over.
“No! Get out!”
A shout woke me from sleep. I blinked my eyes and realized I must have fallen asleep at some point.
“No!”
There it was again. Charlie.
I jumped off the couch and ran down the hallway without a single thought but getting to Charlie as quickly as possible. The door stood cracked open, so I barreled in and nearly tripped over Chester, who had his front paws up on the bed, his nose trying to rouse his human best friend from sleep.
Charlie thrashed against the pillows, his arms and legs fighting whatever it was he saw in his dream. His face scrunched up and he let out a low moan that raised the hair on my arms. That was all I could take. I needed to wake him immediately. I crawled onto the bed, being careful to avoid his thrashing legs.
“Charlie,” I whispered, not wanting to frighten him any further by waking him too abruptly. Night terrors were a scary thing.
He mumbled something I couldn’t catch, his legs heaving and tossing the sheet right off him.
“Oh, dear baby Jesus,” I wheezed, trying to stay focused.
The man slept naked.
I got a good look—give me a break, it was a mighty fine sight to see—and then put my hands on his chest. In the back of my mind I knew I shouldn’t be this close to temptation in the middle of the night, but wild horses couldn’t drag me away from someone in need.
“Charlie, honey, you gotta wake up.” I spoke louder this time. “Charlie, it’s me. Finnie. You’re having a bad dream.”
He stilled, his heart thundering below my palms. His eyes blinked open and his face cleared. He looked up and saw me, then down at my hands on his bare chest. Chester whined and jumped down to curl up in the corner, satisfied I’d helped Charlie and he was no longer needed.
“Finnie?” he whispered, still groggy.
I pushed back some of his hair from his forehead, wanting to soothe him further. “Yeah, it’s me. You were having some sort of nightmare.”
He screwed his eyes shut and my heart lurched. I’d come to care for Charlie over the last few days, despite myself, and I hated to see him upset. I kept stroking his hair and holding my breath until his blue eyes opened back up.
“Want to talk about it?” I asked hesitantly.
He just stared at me for a long moment and then finally nodded his head. I realized it was odd to see Charlie without a ready smile on his lips. I’d stay until that smile came back. He moved his arm out to the side and tilted his head. I flipped over and snuggled into his side, my new point of view showing me other parts of Charlie had woken up too. His erection was obvious. Hell, the thing was pointing right at me. I froze, not knowing what to do. Did I ignore the tent pole? Say hello to it? Make a joke? What was the appropriate protocol here?
“It can’t be helped, Finnie. Just calm down and don’t look at him. He’ll eventually go away.” Charlie’s voice above me held a hint of laughter that had me relaxing again.
I looped my arm around his waist, cutting off my view of things further south. The image of it would be stuck on the back of my eyelids for all eternity, anyway. “So, what was all that about?”
Charlie heaved a sigh, my head going along with his inhale and exhale as my cheek pressed against his chest. “I’ve never told anyone about my nightmares.”
He stopped, and I held my breath. When he didn’t continue, I prompted him, my doctor brain kicking into gear to see if I could help him.
“So, you’ve had the same nightmare more than once?”
Charlie began to stroke my hair. The pit of my stomach swooped and nosedived at his touch. I’d missed this. The closeness of two people snuggled in bed chatting. The touching. The comfort of knowing someone intimately. Of feeling safe in someone’s arms.
“It’s not a nightmare. It’s a memory.”
His voice scraped across his vocal chords, sounding like he never meant for them to escape. I frowned and snuggled closer.
“Tell me about it?”
He sighed again, and I held on tight.
“I don’t sleep well. Haven’t for fourteen years. My brain keeps replaying one night when I was twenty. I had a brother, Finnie. My best friend. We were twins. He hated it, but I was born first. Never did let him forget it.”
His voice cut off and my heart ached for him. This story would get bad, I could just feel it.
“Like young assholes do, we were out late one night, driving way too fast and not paying much attention. To this day I can’t even remember what happened. I don’t know if Chris saw a deer or just missed a curve, but the next thing I know, we’re flying off the road and down an embankment not far from Auburn Hill city limits. Screaming, his or mine, I don’t know. And then the impact. God, it felt like we hit a brick wall. Turned out to be a tree. I must have passed out or something because my next memory is trying to get out of the car. I did. Had to climb out the window, but I got out. I ran around to Chris’s side, but his door was pinned by a huge tree trunk.”
He stopped again, and I blinked hard, trying to keep my tears from falling on his skin. He’d said, “I had a brother.” Past tense. I sniffed and tried to keep it together.
“He didn’t make it?” I asked softly.
“Nope.” Charlie’s voice wobbled. “I couldn’t get him out so I made the choice to leave him and go up the embankment for help. By the time the paramedics came, he was gone. I’ve asked myself every single day whether I did the right thing. Maybe I should have gone through the passenger side and tried to get him out that way. Maybe I should have stayed with him. My brother died alone, Finnie.”
I pressed an elbow into the mattress and sat up, hovering above Charlie’s face. “No. You listen to me. You did wh
at you thought was right. Pulling him out probably would have made his wounds worse and he would have bled out, anyway. Doesn’t sound like anything could have saved your brother that night, Charlie, no matter what you did.”
A tear slid down my cheek and I couldn’t pull it back. This man had been through something awful and yet he was such a happy-go-lucky guy, keeping everything bottled up to the point he had nightmares. And here I’d been so hateful to him. His wood work in the middle of the night was probably the only thing to calm him down, and I’d yelled at him for it.
He reached up and thumbed away my tear.
“I really like you being here,” he whispered, eyes still clouded and tortured.
I smiled and nuzzled my cheek into his palm. “I really like being here too.”
“Stay with me tonight?”
Instead of answering, I gave into what my body and heart wanted. I kissed Charlie, pouring all my sympathies and affection into it. He let me for a few long seconds before grabbing my waist and taking control of the kiss. He rolled us over so he was on top of me and between my legs like he belonged there. The kiss burned hotter, and I wasn’t sure it was right of me to take advantage of him. He’d unloaded all his hurt onto me tonight and more than anything, I wanted to make him feel better.
His lips left mine to trail open mouth kisses down my jawline, my neck, and into the neckline of my pajama top.
“Please tell me I can rip these alpacas off you finally,” he breathed against my skin.
My brain officially shut off for the evening and I tipped my head back into the pillow. “God, yes!”
Buttons went flying as he ripped my shirt apart in one violent tug. I gasped, shocked that I’d inspired a man to literally rip my clothes off, then gasped again as he latched onto my nipple like a starving man. My back arched off the bed, wanting more and wanting it all at once.
Charlie put a work-rough hand on my chest bone and pushed me down to the mattress, sitting up with that smirk back on his face. “Pants are next, my little SweetTart.”
He tugged on the bottoms of my pajama pants and slid them down my legs. His smile intensified when he saw I wore no panties underneath.
“S-sweetTart?” I managed to ask.
Charlie crawled back up my body, his broad shoulders spreading my thighs as his face settled at the juncture. His grin turned positively wicked.
“You say things that are so sour and yet your lips taste sweet. Let’s see about the rest of you.”
He dove in then, his tongue and lips and teeth turning me inside out in a matter of minutes. I grabbed his hair and rocked my hips into his face, just needing a couple more seconds. Instead, he turned his head and kissed my thigh.
“No!” I whined, before remembering I was supposed to be making him feel good.
Charlie’s rumbling laugh had me frowning as he climbed up higher. It had been almost a year since I’d had an orgasm not brought on by my own hand. It was cruel to dangle that carrot in front of a woman and then take it away at the last second.
Then he was sheathing his cock with protection and I licked my lips, considering the alternative. Okay, fine. I wanted cock and good Lord, did I want Charlie’s. I wondered the other day what it would look like fully erect. I’d certainly gotten my wish. Long enough to make me swallow hard, chubbier than a cock had any right to be on a man with a perfect six-pack of abs, and just the right shade of straining purple that told me he wanted me just as badly.
He notched himself at my entrance and paused. My eyes flew open, and I glared at him to get going. Now was not the time to tease me.
“You’re not going to yell at me about this tomorrow, are you?” he asked, that twinkle I loved so much back in his eyes.
My mouth dropped open right as he plunged inside. My eyes rolled back in my head at the beautiful intrusion and my teeth snapped shut. He moved, the posts of the bed hitting the wall in a fast rhythm that made my extremities all tingly. The man was strong, a full six feet of straining muscle and tan skin.
“Oh God,” I mumbled, feeling that rush about to sweep me off my feet sooner than I wanted.
“Look at me, Rudolfina,” Charlie grumbled.
With effort, I got my eyes open and realized what a good suggestion that was. Feeling Charlie, combined with seeing all the bunched, straining muscles, was simply life altering. His abs flexed with each thrust, the dusting of hair across his chest tickling my breasts with each gasping breath, the muscled arms straining to hold himself above me. And then there was the absolute lust and adoration in Charlie’s eyes that made me tip right over the edge, knowing I was safe with him.
I uttered his name at the same time he yelled mine, both of us finding what we needed in a mad spiral of pleasure together. Long minutes later, as our breathing slowed, I barely got Charlie rolled off me before he fell asleep, his arm pinning me to his bed. Thankfully, I had no plans to leave, despite that voice in the back of my head poking and prodding at what the hell I was even doing in Charlie’s bed. I snuggled in closer and fell fast asleep with the hippie neighbor I most certainly was not shacking up with.
10
Finnie
The soft sunlight coming through the blinds in Charlie’s room woke me up the next morning. With a jolt, I realized where I was and what we’d been up to in the middle of the night. Turning my head carefully while holding my breath, Charlie slept beside me, his face peaceful in slumber, the sheets pulled up around him. I took the chance to pause and study his features, so still without the smirk or the ready smile. He was handsome. With his insane athlete’s body covered for now, I could focus on his face, which held a jawline I wanted to run my tongue along. The short stubble and unkempt hair made my fingers twitch. I’d pulled on that hair a lot last night under the cover of darkness.
The clenching between my thighs had me rolling to the edge of the bed and creeping out of Charlie’s room on tiptoe. Last night had been a one-time thing. It had to be. I had no time for anything more and I certainly didn’t have the attention span for any kind of relationship. Everything he’d shared with me last night tugged at my heartstrings, which in turn, tugged on the warning bells in my brain. Caring led to feelings and feelings led to distraction I couldn’t afford.
Chester followed me out of the bedroom and into the kitchen where I started a pot of coffee. I’d have to break the news to Charlie that I was moving back to my place. His hand was still healing, but the chance of infection was over and the stitches were already dissolving as his skin healed on its own.
I pulled out a pair of khaki shorts and a shirt that was still clean, slipping them on quickly. I shoved the rest of my clothes back in my bag and zipped it up. The blankets were next, folded and stacked on the couch where I should have slept last night. The thing was, I didn’t regret sleeping with Charlie. I only regretted that I’d let it bleed into something more than a physical encounter. I cared about the man and that was my signal to get the hell out before I messed everything up again.
The thud of the morning paper hit the front porch and startled me out of my musings. I’d grab a cup of coffee to-go and get back to my house before Charlie woke up. It was better that way. If I stayed longer, he’d walk out without a stitch of clothing on and make me melt into a puddle on the floor, willing to stay longer than I should. I gave Chester a good petting behind his ears while ignoring those brown eyes that seemed to beg me to stay, poured my coffee, and put my bag over my shoulder.
I turned at the front door and glanced around the disheveled house, breathing through the pang in my chest. How quickly things could change in just six days. I was making the right decision to leave. Any longer spent with Charlie would only confuse things.
Turning, I nearly tripped over the tiny town newspaper, kicking it across the porch. It unfolded, and the picture on the back page had me slamming to a halt.
It was Charlie, and me, locked in an embrace outside my soon-to-be clinic.
His hand cupped my jaw like I was a delicate piece of fine China.
My hands gripped his hair like a lifeline.
“Holy shit,” I muttered, the shock of seeing us in black and white making me dizzy.
The headline read “Has the new town doctor mended this bachelor’s heart?”
My extremities went numb, and the bottom dropped out of my stomach. Not good. Not good at all. I’d been hell bent on diffusing the sleeping together rumors yesterday and instead, I’d been caught in his arms for all to see in the goddamn newspaper. And then I really did go and sleep with him!
I threw the paper back down on the porch and ran.
It wasn’t until I slammed my front door closed behind me and I breathed in the scent of new carpet and paint that I could breathe. The bag slipped off my shoulder, landing with a thud on the floor.
“One, two, three…” I mumbled to myself, getting to ten and starting over again. I squeezed my eyes shut and focused on just breathing. The panic began to recede after a while, leaving me with an urgency to make things right.
“Damage control,” I announced to my empty house.
I missed the sound of Chester’s nails scraping on the floor as he rushed over, his head butting my hand until I petted him.
“Nope. Not going there. I have a business to save.” I sucked in a deep breath, pulled myself up tall, and marched over to my office to sit down with my business plans.
I was knee deep in headache territory going over the financials when my cell phone rang. The mayor’s office.
“Oh shit,” I mumbled.
Time for that damage control.
I answered with a smile on my face, hoping whoever was on the other end couldn’t tell how fake it was.
“The mayor is on the line, please hold,” the secretary announced, followed by a click.
“Dorado?” barked the mayor.
“Y-yes, Mr. Mayor.” I rolled my eyes at myself. Showing a decent dose of respect was one thing, but sounding like a shrinking violet was not my style.
