Man Glitter (Jobs From Hell)

by Marika Ray

  I hopped up and scrambled to remember the speech I’d prepared. She climbed out of the car, her dark eyebrows drawn together as she watched me. The heavy work bag that never left her side got slung over her shoulder like a metaphorical weight. She picked her way across the gravel to the porch, her high heels made more for city living.

  “Charlie,” she said slowly.

  “Hey. I was hoping I could show you something real quick and then I’ll leave you alone. Swear on my juicer.”

  A twitch of her lips gave life to the flare of hope that had almost died out in my chest since yesterday. She didn’t answer me, but nodded, putting her bag down on the porch. I gave her a wide berth, not wanting to give her a reason to leave or argue with me straight out of the gate. She followed me around the house where you could see the long wall Titus and I had built this morning.

  I pointed to it. “That night when I cut my thumb, I began work on this wall.”

  She studied it, her eyes taking in all the details. The fence was ten feet high, made from pine, each board water sealed to last longer out in the elements. Carved pieces of wood decorated the bottom of the fence on her side, the swooping curve of each board made to look like the ocean. But the exciting detail was in the center.

  “It’s…beautiful…” Finnie trailed off, still studying it and probably wondering why I brought her out here to look at a damn fence along our property lines.

  “It’s a sound wall. It has a layer of soundproofing material in the middle. Now if I’m out in the shop at night when I can’t sleep, it shouldn’t interrupt yours.” I stared at it, afraid I’d take one look at her face and beg her to give me a chance, which was definitely not part of the script I’d rehearsed. “I, uh, haven’t finished the design yet. I’ll carve some seagulls and add that to the wall, making it look like a day at the beach. Figured you could look out your window while you’re working and see something that make you stress less, you know?”

  “Charlie…” she whispered.

  “Listen, I know you don’t trust me, but I don’t want us to be strangers either. Maybe over time you can trust again. I just—I want you to be happy, no matter where you live, or if you’re even speaking to me. This wall is a way to give you the peace and quiet you deserve.”

  “Charlie,” she said, full volume this time, with a tone that had me finally looking at her.

  A single tear slid down her cheek and I cursed myself for making her cry.

  Then she launched all five-foot-ten of herself at me, her legs coming around my waist, nearly knocking me over as she clung to my neck in a graceless leap.

  “You made that for me?” she asked, her breasts pressed between us, scattering my brain. Her legs tightened, the juncture of her thighs heating my waist and providing a tempting distraction.

  “Yeah. I’d do anything to see you smile, Rudolfina.” My hands flexed, grabbing a handful of her backside, unable to help themselves to the bounty that had literally landed in our lap.

  Finnie slammed her mouth down on mine and made me see Jesus. It had to have been him, what with the blinding light and weightless feeling that came over me. Her tongue teased mine, her hands tunneling into my hair and tugging. A long while later, we came up for air, both of us breathing heavy.

  She dropped her forehead against mine and I uttered a prayer of thanks to the divine perfection of this moment and this infuriating woman.

  “You’re crazy, Charlie Boldt, but only in the very best ways.”

  I couldn’t believe I had her in my arms, smiling and kissing me of her own free will. I didn’t mind so much being called crazy by Finnie. Fact was, I was crazy in love with her.

  “Figures the only way to break down your walls was to build a wall,” I teased, giving her a wink before devouring that mouth of hers again.

  12

  Finnie

  “Wake up, sleepyhead. We have somewhere to be,” I whispered to Charlie as he groaned and tried to cover his head with my pillow.

  The satisfied smile felt natural and right on my face. I must have worn him out last night. After seeing the wall he’d built for me, the way he loved me without reservation, and even against my grumpiest behavior, I’d melted. I’d given up the tight fist of restraint that kept me from trusting Charlie. Life was meant to be lived fully and I couldn’t do that while holding him at arm’s length because of some other douchebag of a doctor. If I denied my feelings for Charlie because of not wanting to sully my reputation in town, I was just as bad as that doctor. Worse even, because I knew what it felt like to be on the other end.

  I ripped the pillow out of his hands and then whooped loudly when his eyes sprung open and he grabbed me. We rolled, nearly falling off the bed.

  “I want to stay right here all day, woman,” he rasped, his morning voice made sexier by the morning wood my woodworker boyfriend sported against my thigh.

  I couldn’t resist tunneling my hands through his hair and pulling him to me for a kiss. I’d never tire of that. The way he always seemed ready and willing to kiss me senseless.

  Before I was ready, I tugged on his hair to pull him back. “As much as I want that too, we have somewhere to be this morning.”

  Charlie groaned and then stilled. “Oh shit, I gotta let Chester out!” He scrambled off me while I laughed.

  My laughter died a sudden death seeing a naked Charlie run around my room trying to collect his clothes. Dear God, the man was built. “I’ll be over in a few minutes to pick you up,” I called after his retreating form.

  Fanning myself, I got dressed and pulled my hair into a ponytail. A quick swipe of mascara and lip gloss and I was ready. I had minds to blow and reputations to defend. All before my first cup of coffee. Auburn Hill was going to finally get a real taste of Finnie Dorado.

  I climbed in my car and tooted the horn twice. Charlie came out his back door and jogged over, his hair still a rumpled mess from my fingers. He slid into the car as I leaned forward to inspect his fly.

  “Wow, you even zipped your pants today.”

  Charlie gave me a look. “Figured if we’re going to your workplace, I should be a little more formal.”

  I shook my head, ponytail flying. “We’re not going to my clinic.”

  Charlie frowned, but I didn’t give away my secret mission.

  Pulling into a spot just a few doors down from Coffee, we got out of the car and I stood in front of Charlie on the sidewalk. “Do you trust me, Charlie?”

  His eyes softened, and he leaned in close, his trademark soap and wood smell making my stomach swoop and soar. “‘Course I do, Rudolfina.”

  I smiled and patted his cheek. “Good. Then follow me and keep up.”

  I marched off and Charlie followed, holding the door to Coffee for me when he realized that’s where I was headed. I skipped the order line and went straight to the counter, the one Charlie had made for this town.

  “Give me a boost, would you?” I asked Charlie.

  He didn’t even hesitate, just knelt down and laced his fingers together. I stepped on his hands, and using his shoulders for balance, climbed up onto the counter to stand several feet above everyone’s heads.

  Speaking of heads, they all turned my direction, jaws dropped and eyes wide at the crazy lady standing on the counter.

  “Good morning, Hell!” I called out. I got a few grumbled good mornings back, but mostly stunned silence as even the baristas stopped what they were doing to stare at me. This would either go really well or I’d have to find another profession in another town. I should have asked Charlie if he minded moving.

  The butterflies in my stomach took flight, and I suddenly wished we’d gotten something to eat first. Charlie reached over and put his hand on top of my foot and I glanced down to see him smiling at me, total confidence in his eyes. He had no idea what I was even doing climbing on tables in front of everyone he knew, and yet he believed in me. My heart expanded and so did my confidence.

  “Hi, everyone. I’m Finnie Dorado. I’m the new doctor in
town, opening an urgent care on Brinestone Way. I, uh, couldn’t help but overhear a conversation here yesterday and it made me realize that I needed to address everyone publicly. I mean, I was already in the newspaper the other day with speculation about my love life, so why not set the record straight right from the horse’s mouth, you know?”

  I cleared my throat and locked eyes with Poppy, who just poked her head through the door. That woman could sniff out a story like a bloodhound. She gave me an enthusiastic thumbs up. My gaze swung over to Polly and Yedda, who looked at me with much distrust. The former, not the latter. Yedda was beaming at me.

  “So, here’s the deal. Charlie Boldt and I are together. What you read in the paper was true, except for the shacking up thing. I mean, I was living at Charlie’s this last week, but only because he cut his thumb pretty badly when I startled him in his workshop.”

  “Oh, did you surprise him with the naked under the trench coat move?” called Yedda, her eyes filled with glee.

  I wobbled on my perch, my face heating. “Um, no. Definitely not that. I, uh, had to stitch him up and then he couldn’t use his hand so I stayed to help him out. Platonically. But that’s the thing. I got to know Charlie this last week or two and I can safely say that the general impression of Charlie is all wrong.”

  I stood up taller, wanting to set the record straight, once and for all.

  “I overheard someone saying Charlie is crazy. I can tell you, that is completely untrue. Charlie is the most amazing artist and human I’ve met in a very long time. He genuinely cares for people without judging them first. I, for one, can’t say I’ve been around too many people like that. I’ve been wrongly judged before and it hurts. I refuse to be that person and I refuse to let you all go around thinking Charlie’s something that he’s not. He’s refreshingly real. He’s mind boggling, really.”

  “He’s hot!” a woman called out.

  My head whipped right, looking for the cat caller, finding four young ladies all sitting at a table nearby, one of whom had a rambunctious little girl on her lap. The dark-haired woman with the red lips gave me a sly wink and smile.

  My blush deepened. “Yes, he is hot. And he’s all mine, if he’ll have me.” I looked down at Charlie who looked up at me like I’d hung the moon he loved to dance under so much. “Will you be my boyfriend officially, Charlie?”

  He smiled wide, those laugh lines on each side of his mouth making my knees weak. Polly charged out of her chair and grabbed the back of it to swing it right by Charlie.

  “Better get your girl, Charlie,” she said with a grin.

  Charlie hopped on the chair and then came to stand on the counter with me. His blue eyes heated and his eyelids dropped. I held my breath, hoping his answer would be yes, and I hadn’t humiliated myself in front of the whole town for nothing. His hands lifted and cupped my jaw.

  “The answer is always yes when it comes to you, Rudolfina,” he whispered right before he kissed me.

  His tongue darted out to lick my bottom lip, and I let him all the way in. No more barriers or reasons why I wouldn’t let him into my heart. Loud whooping and whistles from our audience had me pulling back with a furious blush, reminding me we were still on the counter in the middle of the coffee shop.

  “Oh God, this thing is going to break!” All I could think of was that we needed to get down. Immediately.

  Charlie smirked. “I made this thing. Trust me, it’ll hold.”

  He turned to our audience, a peace to his expression that hadn’t been there last week. “Wanna see her incredible stitches?” He went to pull off the last of the gauze covering his cut. Attention shifted his way, and I sighed with relief.

  A bunch of people hopped up and came over, wanting to see the gory wound and hear about how it had happened. I hopped off the counter and tried to get in line to get some breakfast like it was a normal day. Quite a few people complimented my handiwork and promised to come see me at the urgent care when it was up and running.

  “Man, these couples in Hell are really something.” The woman with the toddler came up to me and patted me on the back. “This town has a rich history of publicly announced affairs of the heart. You fit right in, Finnie. I can call you Finnie, right?”

  I smiled and nodded. “I’d love that.”

  She tipped her head to her friends. “I’m Lucy. These ladies, Lenora, Amelia, and Hazel, befriended me a few years ago and now we want you.”

  I pulled my head back, not used to the ready acceptance of a small town. “Um. Sure?”

  “They call us the Hell Raisers, but don’t let that scare you. We mostly get together and bitch and drink and try to outpace Yedda with her matchmaking. You in?” The dark-haired woman asked.

  I nodded, a warm glow filling every sad little empty pocket of my soul. This was my new home. If I could help it, I’d never leave. “I’m all in.”

  They rushed me in a group hug that nearly knocked me over. We chatted a bit as they waited in line with me, getting to know each other and exchanging phone numbers. By the time I sat down with coffee and food for Charlie and I, it was almost lunchtime. Charlie never let my hand go, the whole time we ate, his thumb stroking my skin. When I asked him about it, he said he was touching me because he could. Because he wanted to remind himself I was really there with him.

  I knew what he meant. He’d lived the last decade thinking people always left him, just as I’d thought no one was trustworthy. It would take time and practice for us to drop the old habits and trust in what we had, but we were off to a good start.

  “How about we go out to eat tonight? A real date?” I blurted, wanting to show him starting immediately that us being together was something I intended for the rest of our lives.

  Charlie smirked. I could stare at his handsome face for days and not get bored. He pulled our hands to his face, our fingers laced together. He kissed each of my fingers, his meticulous nature not confined to simply woodwork.

  “It’s a date. I’ll pick you up at your place, neighbor,” he said.

  We stood, and I kissed him quick, excited just thinking about dating him for real. “And what are you doing this afternoon? I have plans to go over, but I could do that at your place.”

  He shrugged. “I have a new project I’m starting. Just a lot of sanding to start with.”

  I lifted on my tip-toes so we saw eye to eye. “Perfect. Promise you won’t wear a shirt and I can wipe the man glitter off you afterward?”

  Charlie’s eyes lit up right before he bent at the waist and picked me up, hauling me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. I squealed, and he laughed, the big booming type of laugh that meant I couldn’t be mad at him even if I tried. He ran us down the street to my car, catching curious glances from everyone out and about.

  Yep, my Charlie was crazy. Crazy in love with me.

  Stay in Hell a while longer…keep reading the Jobs From Hell series with Love Bank and Uber Bossy!

  Love Bank - Chapter One

  Lucille

  “Thank God for Keva and underwire garments,” I muttered, coming around the corner and seeing the lights on at the clinic already. Considering I should have been there twenty minutes ago, I could beat myself up over my own tardiness, or I could simply pat myself on the back for my insightfulness in hiring such a responsible front desk clerk. Keva was the real deal: young, hardworking, and organized. What she lacked in street smarts could be made up for by her unfaltering kindness.

  A loud horn shook me from my frazzled Monday morning thoughts.

  “What in the gold-digging hell is this?”

  In the rearview mirror, I saw a huge gray bus behind me, the driver reaching down to the steering wheel like he was going to lay on the horn again. All because I was going thirty in a thirty-five zone. This here was Brinestone Way, the brand-new road paved just days before my clinic opened to the public. Mayor Bennett had grand aspirations of making Auburn Hill a thriving metropolis, all starting with bringing in new businesses along this stretch of road
. There was no need for speeding and, dammit, I’d been here first.

  I threw my free hand up in the air, hoping it properly conveyed my irritation at his aggressiveness. I refrained from using the middle finger, though I swear it was itching to get in on the action.

  “Damn magical goat stirring things up,” I muttered.

  I put on my blinker and tapped the brakes as I approached my turn-in. Every bolt, spring, and dried-out belt in the ol’ 1968 convertible Karmann Ghia struck up a symphony as I eased her over the huge bump of a curb and into the parking lot. The huge bus barreled on down the road barely missing my back bumper, shaking the frame of poor Ghia in its aftermath.

  I narrowed my eyes at the back of it, picturing it getting a flat tire or two and that nasty driver begging me for assistance. I scoffed out loud at the chances of me lifting a finger. He’d be on his knees crying and I’d simply honk at him and tell him to get out of the way. Justice was served, even if only in my own head. Where was Waldo when you needed him? Sheriff Waldo that is, not the guy with the striped hat in those kids’ books. Sheriff Waldo didn’t take kindly to strangers showing up in town and being rude.

  I shook myself and focused on what was important. My establishment. My pride and joy.

  Coastal Fertility Clinic.

  Also known as a spank bank.

  Now I know most entrepreneurs don’t start off their solo journey thinking they want to open up a clinic where men jack off all day long, but when you have a master’s degree in nursing like me, and you’re sick of running your tail off all day at the hospital for middlin’ wages, you had to think outside the box.

  Or in my case, think inside the specimen cup.

  So here I was the proud owner of the finest, most upscale fertility clinic this side of the Sierra Nevadas. We’d been open six months and already made our way to the breakeven point, meaning we could afford to start being more selective with our deposits. The higher the pedigree of the sperm, the higher the price when we went to sell it to a female looking to birth the next Michael Phelps. Forget the black market, I was selling the goods on the sperm market.