Undone

by R Phoenix

  Leandro pulled out, running a finger along the trail of wetness he left along Kolt’s skin before he had a chance to jerk away. He sat back, leaning against the headboard, looking smugly superior. “No.”

  Kolt let go of the bracelet, feeling a sense of dread and terror. “What did you do?!” he repeated, feeling tears run down his face as he sat up gingerly, feeling more than just unsettled in the wake of all that.

  Leandro settled back and grabbed him, pulling him into his lap. Kolt fought to pull away, but the fae insistently held him close until Kolt’s body went slack and limp in his arms. The fae licked the spots where his tears fell like they were something new and different — when they both knew they weren’t. “Hush and settle,” he said firmly, like he was talking to a goddamn child.

  Kolt wiped viciously at the tears on his cheeks, purposely looking up and over Leandro as he tried to fucking breathe and ease all the feelings that were running a riot inside his head. “What did you do to me?” he asked a third time, gritting his teeth angrily over being ignored when he needed answers.

  Leandro looped an arm around his waist, nuzzling him like they were lovers and not… not more master and slave than they’d ever been. “What do you think I did to you?” he murmured. “Come now, Kolt. Use your brain instead of your dick.”

  He was going to be sick. He felt more tears, and he didn’t bother to stop them, crying quietly as he regarded Leandro through bleary eyes.

  “Why do you hate me?” Kolt asked, against better judgment. The despair in his voice was raw, revealing more than he normally wanted to show the fae who held him close. “I behaved. I did everything you asked of me!” he added, balling his hands into fists and barely resisting the urge to pummel Leandro’s chest — however ineffective it might be. Instead, he had another go at the bracelet, hooking two fingers under the chain and yanking at it, only serving to make the bracelet dig harder into his wrist. “I don’t want this, I don’t— Please take it off!” he rambled.

  Leandro’s hands slid up to run through Kolt’s hair in something he assumed was supposed to calm him down but did the opposite. “I don’t hate you,” the fae said. “If I hated you, I’d have done much worse than control your diet.”

  Like it was that easy, like Kolt should feel grateful that it somehow wasn’t worse.

  “Then why?” he demanded, though the ferocity and rage behind the question was tempered by his panic, and he just sounded more desperate.

  “Why would you need to feed from anyone but me?” Leandro asked, arching a brow.

  The words were so casual, so dismissive, that Kolt couldn’t help but wonder if the fae even understood what he’d done. It was jarring, and for a moment, he was at a loss. He didn’t have a real answer, not immediately, even though his brain was working again. Mostly his mind continued to circle back to Bryce, the cop.

  He should’ve said yes.

  “...It— I… That’s… It’s my nature,” he said, baffled. “You’ll starve me.” He knew for sure now what it had been — the grating feeling, the nagging, his short temperedness, all of it. He’d been fasting for a week without even realizing it. What if Leandro got shitty with him again? “You’re gonna starve me!” he snapped, his anger getting the upper hand.

  Annoyance flickered across Leandro’s expression, edged with impatience. “You had to learn your lesson,” he said. “You can’t go fucking humans. They have diseases, Kolt. They’re filthy.”

  Hypocrite. Kolt knew perfectly well that Leandro had fucked humans before, but he was more of a jealous asshole than he’d given the fae credit for.

  “And don’t exaggerate. I’m not going to starve you,” Leandro added in a huff.

  “I already learned my lesson. You were very clear!” Kolt said hotly. “You’re just going to keep punishing me?”

  “Of course not,” Leandro said. “But I am protecting you from yourself, Kol’tso. You’ll have a reminder of what happens if you go against my wishes.” He touched the bracelet with a smile. “My pleasure, Kolt. That’s what you feed from. Not anyone else’s.”

  Kolt felt numb in an instant when he realized that Leandro had actually put a lot of thought into this, and he just stared at the fae.

  “What?” Leandro asked, frowning. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “...how? How is this protecting me?” he asked, wanting to cry all over again. “What if I fucking kill you because you’re all I have, and I’m stuck with this?” He held up the bracelet. He gritted his teeth, and this time, he did pound a fist against Leandro’s chest. “What if something happens to you?!”

  Leandro tensed as Kolt spoke. It was like he hadn’t even thought about that as a possibility… and he probably hadn’t.

  He grabbed Kolt’s wrist. “You won’t kill me,” he said dismissively. “Not on accident, at least.” He offered a brittle smile. “And it’s more incentive not to let anything happen to me, isn’t it, Kolt?”

  “I’ve done it before,” he retorted sharply, even though it wasn’t something he liked to bring up or be reminded of.

  After all, that was how he’d ended up here.

  “I’m fae,” Leandro said. “I’m not weak.”

  Kolt looked incredulously at him. It wasn’t about weakness. It was about the fact that people only had so much to give, and fae weren’t immune to those limitations. “Neither am I,” he retorted.

  “It stays on,” Leandro said, in that voice that people reserved for children and animals, the one they thought signaled the end of a conversation.

  It wasn’t.

  “Because you want a monogamous incubus?” Kolt hissed angrily. “You’re the one that keeps whoring me out!”

  “Under my terms,” Leandro said sharply. “You’re the one who went around me, Kolt. Did you think there wouldn’t be consequences?”

  “I didn’t think you’d try to change my very fucking nature, no! I hope someone cuts your fucking magic out,” he snarled, yanking his wrist free and struggling to escape the forced embrace.

  Leandro’s face turned into something ugly, every bit as hideously contorted as the fairy tales described, reflecting what truly lay beneath the surface — the part of them that got pissed off and hurt someone because they could, because it was their nature.

  Kolt didn’t give a fuck. He wasn’t going to just meekly nod and smile while the fae tried to twist him into something he wasn’t. For better or worse, he was an incubus!

  Leandro let him go, and Kolt was surprised enough that he jerked back too hard, sprawling backwards on the bed.

  “You should hope for my continued survival and the use of my magic,” Leandro said, his voice a little too soft. “You’re nothing without me.”

  “I thought you were forgiving me. I thought—” Kolt shook his head and got to his feet. “I’ll starve before I’m dependent on you,” he promised with a foul look at the fae.

  “I have forgiven you,” Leandro said, his forehead wrinkling as he cast a baffled look at Kolt. “The bracelet isn’t your punishment. The lack of touch was. But that’s over now. Don’t you see?”

  “It’s punishment to me,” Kolt said shortly. He snatched his pants up from the floor, hating that he couldn’t go far — hating that he had to stay either here or go down to the casino, and neither was a place he wanted to be right now.

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” Leandro said, grabbing his robe and standing. “What are you going to do? Go sulk?” He scoffed. “Find the human? Tell him you want to get away from here?”

  He hated that the fae was right. He couldn’t fucking go anywhere. Of course, he didn’t want to admit that any more than he wanted to tell Leandro about his regret over not just saying yes to the cop.

  Kolt had still thought they would work it out, somehow. He’d lied for the asshole. He’d said this was his choice. As though anyone would ever willingly choose this…!

  “Post an ad on craigslist for a gangbang with humans,” he snapped, instead of admitting defeat like he usually woul
d have by now.

  But this wasn’t an ordinary spat between them.

  Leandro’s expression had already been dark, but it turned positively murderous. He stalked toward Kolt, grabbing his chin. “If you let one of them touch you,” he hissed, “I will let you starve to death. Stop pushing me, Kol’tso, or I’ll make sure you see how generous I’ve been.”

  Kolt didn’t say anything, didn’t agree or disagree. He just glared up at Leandro, waiting to be released so he could put as much distance between them as was possible.

  For a long moment, they stood there at a standstill, until Leandro finally released him. “It’s time for bed,” he stated as though nothing had happened at all. He even went as far as to pull back the blankets, patting Kolt’s usual spot.

  The gesture revolted him. It was so simple and mundane, showing him just how detached Leandro was from reality — wanting him there, in his fucking bed, while Kolt wanted to be anywhere else.

  Over the course of the week, Kolt had longed for this. He’d wanted nothing more than to be fucked senseless then curl up against the fae’s warmth to sleep it off. He hated himself for that longing now. As much as it tugged at him, he couldn’t.

  He still didn’t say anything. What would be the point? With his pants in hand, he turned to leave the room, ignoring the fae’s bid to get him back in bed.

  “I don’t suggest doing that, Kolt,” Leandro warned, his voice burning into Kolt’s mind.

  “Bite me,” he muttered, his voice barely audible. He spoke louder as he went on. “I’m disgusting. You want to control my showers too?” he prompted darkly without slowing down or looking back. He needed space.

  Leandro didn’t answer, and for some reason, that felt more ominous than if he’d spoken.

  Kolt didn’t let the fae know it was getting to him, though. He’d already shown enough weakness for one day.

  Chapter Eight

  Before he’d even turned off the shower, Kolt knew he wasn’t ready to go back to Leandro. He hadn’t calmed down enough yet, and that fucking bracelet was there as a sharp reminder of why he was so pissed off.

  The bright red welt across his neck from where the belt of the bathrobe had choked him didn’t bother him nearly as much as the mere presence of the bracelet. Every glint of it that caught his eyes, every time it slid across his wrist as he moved, even the slightest of sounds it made when it shifted — it was like a punch in the gut.

  Wrapping himself in one of the soft robes — hating how it felt and smelled like the fae — he eventually left the bathroom, but not to go to bed with him. He went downstairs, as silently as he could.

  There weren’t many places he could go to avoid Leandro, and there were even less where the fae wouldn’t just come find him to drag him away. He wanted as much distance between him and the despicable creature as he could get to grant him the biggest reprieve.

  It meant going down to the casino bar for a drink instead of making his own upstairs where Leandro could just call for him from his fucking bed.

  As gratifying as that was on any other day, it was a revolting thought all of a sudden.

  He entered the casino, preoccupied and not thinking anyone would be there. It was after hours now, and there wouldn’t be any patrons. But a few employees were still there, having a few drinks before closing up.

  Fuck.

  He heard Gideon and Darcy talking and laughing with the other bouncer, Ward, and the bartenders. Keith and Arla were usually the last to leave, and normally Kolt got on with them as well as could be expected.

  But tonight, he couldn’t stand to see anyone. They probably already knew, the lot of them, and they probably all thought it was fucking hilarious to neuter the incubus too.

  Kolt didn’t want or need anyone to be smart with him right then. He was at the end of his tether, and he purposely ignored them as he slipped behind the bar to get himself a drink. A stiff one, a double, that he knocked back in one go before immediately pouring himself another. He wasn’t shaking in anger and despair anymore, but it wasn’t far off.

  Even as he took a gulp from the second drink, he felt just how fucking fragile he was. The fact that the five otherkin in the booth next to the bar went suspiciously silent apart from an awkward, quiet chuckle and a cough didn’t help either.

  Did everyone fucking know he’d just been fucked within an inch of his life for a fucking meal? His fingers went to his neck briefly, feeling the welt. He downed back the rest of his drink as he realized they probably did know. Just as they probably knew about Leandro’s plan and—

  “All right,” Gideon said, louder than anything that had been said since he’d come in. “Time to get going. C’mon.”

  They glanced in Kolt’s direction, putting cigarettes out and knocking their drinks back.

  “All right, all right,” Arla muttered, putting the cards they’d been playing away.

  “You get off easy again,” Keith muttered to her, and there was more laughter.

  Kolt stood back, leaning against the bar and bearing it for as long as was necessary. The casino would soon be empty, and he could have his fucking privacy without resorting to drinking on the toilet.

  “‘Night, Kolt,” Ward said, and Darcy echoed him.

  He looked up and forced a smile. “See you tomorrow,” he answered, lackluster.

  “Don’t make a mess of the bar,” Arla warned him.

  He ignored her. She could kiss his fucking ass. He might spill a beer all over it just to fuck with her.

  They filed out, and it wasn’t until he looked up again that he realized Gideon hadn’t left with them. Leandro’s bruiser was still standing there, his own nearly empty glass in hand, watching Kolt.

  Kolt pressed his lips into a line to keep from snapping. He didn’t need a fucking babysitter — especially not Gideon.

  “You want another?” Gideon asked, striding behind the bar.

  He wanted to be alone, a rare enough thing for an incubus to where he didn't want to admit it. It would only make people ask questions he didn't want to answer. “Sure,” he said, holding his glass out for a refill. “Not like it'll do anything.”

  Gideon grabbed the first bottle within reach. “It'll obviously do something,” he pointed out, “or you wouldn't be doing it.”

  “It's stupid human behaviorism,” he said shortly, watching Gideon pour his glass full — though not as full as he’d had it himself. “I don't really get drunk. I can't even drown my misery. Especially not anymore now,” he grouched darkly.

  Gideon arched a brow, but said nothing, just studying him for a moment.

  Kolt knew he’d said too much, and it would raise questions.

  Gideon finished his drink. “Bracelet?” he asked.

  Kolt cast him a dark look, feeling a pang of irrational betrayal. “You knew, didn't you?” he asked, voice dark and teeth gritting together. He’d asked, and Gideon had said he didn’t know—!

  Gideon shook his head, pouring himself another drink. “Logical conclusion if it's pissing you off this much.”

  Maybe the bruiser he wasn't as dumb as he looked, or often pretended to be.

  “Am I that obvious?” Kolt asked with a wry smile that was completely hollow. If he couldn't fool Gideon, he wouldn't fool Leandro for a second, and he didn’t need another fight with the fae about his mood.

  Gideon shrugged, obviously not inclined to explain how he'd picked up on it — unless he really had known, which… surprisingly didn't seem as likely as he might've thought. The other man inspected his own glass then looked back at Kolt. “I'm playing bartender. Don't they usually play therapist too?” he asked dryly, almost encouragingly.

  “Have you met Keith and Arla?” Kolt retorted deadpan. He wasn't sure he could talk about it — certainly not with Gideon, Leandro's faithful attack dog.

  “A few times,” Gideon said, but he didn’t push.

  Neither Keith nor Arla were inclined to listen to anyone’s drama if they could avoid it, and they certainly didn’t want to
hear about Leandro from Kolt. He was fairly sure that if Keith ever found out about the things he did as an incubus, the man would never look at him the same way.

  He held out his glass again. He might as well try to drink Leandro into ruins.

  “How did the detective get home?” he asked, to deflect attention away from himself.

  Gideon refilled the glass. “No idea.”

  Kolt reached for the bottle Gideon was holding. Instead of taking it, he turned it just enough to see the man’s damaged knuckles, the trademark of a real bruiser. “Really?” he asked, deadpan. “Was he still breathing when you left him?” he went on, though his voice remained suspiciously neutral.

  “Wondering if it's too late to take him up on his offer?” Gideon countered, not reacting to the touch.

  Kolt was quiet for a moment. How many times had the thought crossed his mind now? Too many, that was for sure. Another moment passed before he realized he was letting the silence grow out of control, and he shrugged. “Do you think he could do it?”

  Gideon didn’t even pause before answering, “No.”

  Kolt knew he should’ve expected that. Gideon was a loyal soldier, after all. He wouldn’t even breathe anything that could, or would, negatively impact Leandro or Leandro’s image. Losing his incubus to some Organization asshole would definitely inflict some damage on both. Yet, despite everything, Kolt hadn’t expected the short answer. Wishful thinking, perhaps.

  Gideon pulled back then took a long drink of his own before amending, “You'd both regret it if he did.”

  It didn’t ease the sting of hurt, and no matter how great an actor or a liar Kolt was, he couldn’t stop it from showing clear as day on his face. He tried to swallow it down, both dry and with a gulp of booze, but it wasn’t going away any more than his anger and despair were.

  Gideon turned his glass in his hands then looked up at Kolt. His voice was oddly quiet as he asked the million-dollar question, “Do you want to? Leave, I mean.”