Country Wishes

by RaeAnne Hadley

  “I didn’t tell you because I knew you would get angry. They are the ones who go in and bolt up the supports to keep the ceiling from collapsing.”

  “So now you are doing the most dangerous part of the job. Making it safe for everyone else. Just friggin great.”

  “Oh, babe. I’ll be fine. And just think, if something happens to me, you’ll be a millionaire and you and the girls will have a nice life.”

  “That is not funny and I want you, not the money. Tell them you can’t, that you won’t.”

  “I’m not going to tell them that. I have a job to do and I’m going to do it.”

  “I’m so sick of this, Jack. I’m sick of worry, I’m sick of being a single parent. I’m sick of our girls asking when daddy has off. I’m over it.”

  “Stop worrying about me. That will relieve most of your stress. Focus on you and the girls, I’m going to be fine.”

  “How can you tell me that? You can’t promise me you’re going to be fine and now you are working with explosives, blowing up holes two miles under the ground. I can’t do this without you, Jack.”

  She was crying now but she couldn’t help it. She was angry, scared and frustrated. Their life was not supposed to go this way. It was supposed to be happier, easier, and different. She felt like she was crying more than laughing. Her soul was weary and tired.

  “Babe, you need to stop. We have a great life. I get two weeks off after this next week. Let’s go somewhere and have some fun. We need to blow off some steam.”

  Dread filled her gut, her heart fluttered painfully in her chest. “Why do you get two weeks off? They can’t have another long wall move so soon. You’ve just been off of it for a week.”

  “Yeah. This is a short run. We have another long wall move in six weeks but they are pulling some of us on the shift sooner to get shields pulled and sent out for repairs.”

  “And let me guess, you are one of them.” She hated the sarcasm in her voice but she couldn’t help it.

  “Yes. We need the money babe. This is a good thing.”

  “No, it’s not. I’ll have all but two of the credit cards paid off with your next check. We are doing fine.”

  “We deserve to be great. The overtime can pay for half of another vacation next summer. We could go to Florida or maybe Cacaos Islands. I’ve heard there are some great family places in Cancun that are all inclusive. The girls would love it.”

  She closed her eyes and calmed her mind. He was trying so hard. “It would be great, honey.”

  “Good, then it’s settled. We will take that money for vacation in the summer. In the meantime, we will blow this Popsicle stand on my time off and go play.”

  “Honey, we can’t be gone that long. We have animals to take care of. We can probably be gone overnight but with the temps dropping as low as they are, we really can’t risk being gone longer.”

  She saw the shadow cross his face and knew he was biting his tongue from cursing the animals. He wasn’t raised with livestock and ranching responsibilities like she was. He loved the idea of leaving on the spur of the moment and being gone until whenever he felt like coming home. She liked his impulsiveness and had figured out ways of making the animals self-dependent for up to a week at a time during the summer but winter was harder. Water tanks froze and heaters blew circuit breakers. Life was harder during the winter.

  She reached out and touched his arm. “I’ll figure out somewhere that’s close, where we haven’t been before and it will be fun. I promise.”

  He smiled and nodded. “Okay. If worse comes to worse, we can head to Grand Mesa. They have lots of things to do there and it’s definitely warmer.”

  “Yes, we can always go there.” She kissed him sweetly, already thinking about how they were going to spend their getaway in Millflower.

  Chapter Three

  She’d spent the week checking out family activities and hotels for Millflower. She booked a room at the Holiday Inn Express knowing that the girls would take advantage of the indoor pool. It took about four hours to drive there but if they left early enough in the morning, they would still have a good day of playing, maybe hitting an evening movie matinee and supper. She was determined to fill their day with fun and exploring the town. She hadn’t told the girls, or even Jack for that matter, that this was the city she was contemplating them moving to. Better to check it out and make sure it was as good in person as it appeared to be.

  She was washing clothes, getting suitcases ready and making arrangements for the neighbors to plow their driveway if it got too deep. They would be taking the car and the last thing they needed was to get snowed out of their own house. They would leave tomorrow to head down to Millflower. Jack had been reluctant at first, stating Grand Mesa was closer and had more things to do but Rena had shown him the weather, the live camera showing the town and the activities there were to do. To her relief he relented but she didn’t know if it was because he saw the great new adventure she painted or if he was just too tired to care anymore. The dark circles were returning and she knew not to push anymore. He had agreed and that was all she needed to move forward.

  Last day of school for the girls, last day of work for Jack and last day of preparation for her. She tried to keep herself calm and hold down the excitement that kept bubbling up in her stomach. If Jack saw she was too excited, he would know something was up and push her to tell him. If her plan was exposed now, he’d never look at the town with an open mind. So, she bit back her smile, packed up lunches and kissed her family off for their daily adventures.

  Her day blew by fast as she put large round bales of hay in the corrals for the horses and cows, filled feeders and water tanks for the chickens and made sure the heaters were secured and working. The dogs were easy, having access to a large yard anytime they wanted through the doggy door in the mud room. Food and water were filled in their feed bowls that dispensed feed whenever they wanted it.

  She cleaned the house as she always did before a trip and changed the linens on all of the beds. She kept her hands busy with menial work while her mind worked out scenarios on how to move. It briefly occurred to her that they might not like Millflower but she quickly pushed the thought away. It seemed like the perfect place for their family. Warmer and shorter winters but still four distinct seasons, white Christmases, camping and hiking trails all around the city, recreational facilities, community play houses, shopping, and bike trials. She smiled and began to hum, thinking of how busy they would be once they moved down there.

  She’d already given up the thought of buying another ranch. It was time to try Jack’s way of life. She was getting older and the girls were growing up and participating in after school activities. She would give life a try of being a soccer mom. Maybe she would even enjoy it. She would find a place to board her and the girl’s riding horses so the change wouldn’t be too painful. Heck, she had even heard that you could have a couple of chickens in town. After they bought a place, she might build a coop and get some chicks so the girls could still do 4-H and she could still have her fresh eggs.

  She was so busy dreaming of what life was going to be that she didn’t hear the door open. She screamed and swung her fist when she felt a hand land on her shoulder.

  “Good gracious, Jack. You scared the hell out of me.”

  “What were you doing? You have a guilty look on your face.”

  Rena groaned internally. Mr. Hyde was showing his face. She remembered she had left up the website for the town of Millflower. She needed to close it down before he saw what she was looking at. It would be a perfect trigger for him to start a fight. “Nothing, just getting the house cleaned before the girls get home. What are you doing home so soon?”

  “One of the fans went down that ventilates the mine. We were evacuated and sent home until they get it up and running.”

  “That’s great. You can catch up on your sleep if you’d like.”

  He grunted and moved towards the laptop. He usually checked the weather and the news o
n MSN. Damn it, what was she going to do?

  “What’s for supper?” He grabbed the laptop and set it on his lap. “What the hell is this?”

  “Nothing. Was just checking out towns around Colorado.”

  “Why?”

  “Oh, no real reason. Just dreaming. Thinking of warmer places and you going back to being an electrician.” She glanced up at him, noticed the scowl on his face and quickly added, “I miss you being at home with the family at night.”

  “Well I can’t change my hours. It’s just how it’s done at the mine.”

  “What about applying at some of the places in town? You don’t have to be a coal miner.”

  “Where am I going to go? This town is turning into a ghost town. There are no jobs available here; they were snatched up when the first round of mine layoffs happened six months ago.”

  “Then we move. We have no family here, the girls don’t have any really good friends, and we hate the winters. Let’s move.”

  “Move where? I don’t want to go back home. It’s crowded and it would be like stepping back. And how? There’s no way we could sell this ranch, not in this community with this economy.”

  “If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen. You and I both know that. So, put aside the excuses and let me see what’s out there.” She kissed him lightly on the lips. “I don’t want to keep living this way.”

  “And I think we should to talk to the girls about it. Give them time to wrap their brains around it.”

  “No, I don’t think we should talk to the girls just yet. We need to make sure…”

  “It‘s not like we are moving now. But if we let them know we are considering it then they might have some ideas.”

  “You just push and push. We will talk with them about it but you need to hear what they have to say too.”

  His grumbling tone warned her he was transitioning to his other personality fast. She needed to be careful. “I will, Jack. I want all of us to be happy. Why don’t you take a nap, then you will be awake enough to have supper with us. The girls will love that.”

  “Fine. Wake me up when you have it ready. Don’t talk to the girls before then.”

  “I won’t, I promise. I’ll wait until supper.

  She let Jack sleep for four hours before finally waking him to join them at the table. They all knew not to talk to him right away, to give him a chance to wake up. He was his crabbiest when he first woke if he had been on his shift hours. As he drank his coffee and asked the girls about their day, Rena noticed he seemed to be in a better mood than before he went to sleep. She hoped that was the case and decided it was time to talk with the girls about moving.

  Rena occasionally wondered if she was a master manipulator or if she just tried to put a positive spin on life. They told the girls at the dinner table that they were considering moving and at the beginning, the girls were skeptical and sad but by the time Rena was done, they were excited. She directed and focused the conversation on the positive things; the bigger town, better schools, warmer weather. When Shari asked if they were going to buy horse property Rena was very careful with how she answered.

  “No, probably not. Land is more expensive down there but we can take our three horses and board them. Just think, no more chores that have to be done in the mornings and evening. That’s going to be awesome, right? And it also leaves more time for us to go playing. There’s camping and boating just fifteen minutes from town, there’s a huge canyon just thirty minutes away…”

  Jack stared at her. “Um, babe, where are you talking about? We haven’t found a place yet; we just now decided that we are going to move.”

  Rena knew she was caught. No sense in digging herself deeper, she just better confess. “Well, I’ve been checking out places and since I can’t get Daddy out of Colorado, I thought we could find the perfect place and I think I did. Millflower is in the southern end of Colorado. It’s on the western side of the Rocky Mountains so it’s warmer. The summers are longer and the winters are warmer. The great thing is they still get snow so we will still have white Christmas, it just doesn’t stay around as long. The snow melts in between storms.”

  Anabeth’s eyes grew wide, “You can see the dirt in the winter?”

  Rena laughed. “Yes, baby. You can see the sleeping grass, the dirt, the road. The snow doesn’t stick around like it does here.”

  “That’s cool! I wanna move there.”

  Rena turned towards her oldest daughter. “Shari, you’ve been quiet. What do you think?”

  “I don’t want to give up the ranch and I don’t want to give up our animals. Why can’t we take them with us?” She bit her bottom lip to stop it from quivering but the tears still filled her eyes.

  “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We have to go down and check out the town first, right?” Jack’s tone was gentle and Shari smiled at him.

  “Okay. When are we going?”

  Rena chuckled. “That’s the great thing. We are going there tomorrow. That’s where our getaway is planned.”

  Both girls cheered and Rena told them to go finish packing their stuff. They ran off, excitedly talking about what to bring.

  “How come I feel like I’ve been played?” Jack eyed Rena.

  “You haven’t been played. It’s just an idea I’ve been toying with for a while. I want us to be happy again.”

  “You’re not happy?”

  She felt guilty for saying that but she wanted to let him know just how bad the situation had gotten. “No, and you can’t tell me you are either.”

  “I’m happy in my marriage. I just don’t like my job.”

  “You can’t tell me that you’ve been happy with us. We’ve been fighting more the past two years than in the entire twelve we’ve been married. We hardly spend any time together anymore. We are like roommates with children.”

  “I don’t know what more you want me to do, Rena. I’m working my ass off, we bought the ranch, and we have the animals.”

  “Jack, stop. I’m not blaming you. I’m not asking for more, I’m saying we need to change things for us. I think we deserve to have a fabulous life. It’s just not here.”

  “Okay. We will see how Millflower checks out tomorrow.”

  “Okay. I love you, Jack, very much.”

  “I love you too, babe. Very much.”

  They were on the road by eight in the morning, all four of them excited to be heading out of town and also at the prospect of seeing their possible new town. The girls played on their electronics in the back seat while Jack and Rena talked about what they would do if they did decide to relocate.

  “You know I won’t be making as much money being an electrician as I am making now.”

  “No, but it won’t be a huge cut in pay and I can always see about getting on with the school district full time. That would help make up the difference in pay.”

  “You won’t be able to write full time like we’ve talked about.”

  “I know but that’s okay. To have you home every night and every weekend is worth it. I can still write in the evenings and on weekends. It’s not like I have to give up writing all together.”

  “No but I know you’ve been trying to get your name out there and build up your audience.”

  “You’re sweet and I love you but our family comes first. If working full time means getting my husband and the father of my children back, then I’m more than happy to do it.”

  “Well, we shall see what this place holds.”

  They stopped in Grand Mesa to use the restroom and get drinks before heading on to the last leg of their journey. Twenty minutes after leaving the gas station, Rena began to have her doubts. The landscape was dry and unforgiving. Sagebrush and buffalo grass were sparse and there wasn’t a tree to be found. She wasn’t fond of desert and knew that Grand Mesa was considered high desert but she didn’t think Millflower was a desert. The images she found online didn’t appear to be a wasteland but what they were driving through sure was.

  The girl
s apparently didn’t like the scenery either as they began to get fussy and fight.

  “Are we almost there yet? It’s ugly outside, everything is dead.” Anabeth complained.

  “Honey, we have about an hour left. Don’t pick on your sister. If you guys continue to fight I’ll take away your electronics and make you stare out your own window.”

  She turned to Jack. “I hope the landscape changes really fast. This is ugly.”

  “We still have another fifty miles to go. A lot can change in fifty miles.”

  “I hope so.”

  “What are we going to do about the animals if we do move?”

  She felt herself getting defensive. It had been a sore spot of conversation for the past two years and it had created a trigger for them. But his tone was different and she reined in her fight.

  “We will sell them; maybe have the chickens be a part of the sale of the house. I don’t know. I don’t think it will be hard finding them new homes.”

  “What are we going to do with the horses?”

  “I’m not getting rid of them, if that’s what you’re hinting at.”

  “I’m not hinting at anything. I’m asking a question. It’s a legitimate question.”

  “I’ll find a place to board them.”

  “That brings up another question. Are we going to rent or are we going to buy?”

  “I’d like to buy. The idea of moving twice is horrible. What do you think?”

  “I agree. I think we should buy. We just need to get our place sold first.”

  She put her hand on his thigh. “Let me handle that part. I talked with an agent already. She didn’t think the house was going to sell fast because of the economy and their commission is sixteen thousand dollars…”

  “Sixteen thousand dollars? We don’t even have that in equity. We can’t afford that.”

  “Jack, breathe. We aren’t going to use a real estate agent. I’m going to sell it. I’ve already pulled a general real estate contract and looked it over. I can list it on social media sites, there’s Internet websites who can help you sell your home. We don’t need to hire an agent.”