The Adventures of the Eleven Cuff-Buttons

by James Francis Thierry

  CHAPTER XII

  I locked the door at once, put the key in my pocket, and then stoodwith my back up against it, while Holmes stood in the center of theroom, facing the flushed and uncomfortable Tooter, who remained by thewindow, with his left hand clutching the mysterious little package inhis pocket.

  "Now then, Tooter, I've got the goods on you, both figuratively andliterally, so you might as well come across with it," urged Holmes. "Idon't want to resort to forcible methods unless I am compelled to."

  "I'm sorry, Holmes. I'd like to oblige you, but if this gets out aboutme carrying it around with me, I'm a goner."

  "I guess you _will_ be a goner. The idea of a man of your standingstooping to such a trick as that! You can't plead any lack of funds asan excuse for your regrettable error, either, as you are known to bewell heeled."

  "But think of the resulting notoriety, Holmes. I could never again bereceived in the best circles of London society, and I'm sure the Kingwould cut me dead!"

  "Well, I suppose it _would_ hurt your standing there, Tooter; butyou've got to take the consequences of your act. You're considerablyold enough to know what you're doing, you know. Come on, now, give itup peaceably, or I'll forget myself and try jiu-jitsu on you."

  But Uncle Tooter still refused to give up the little package, andHolmes, losing his patience, walked over to him and grabbed his leftarm, while Tooter doggedly tried to wriggle out of his grasp. In amoment, Holmes, by a quick turn of his wrist, had forced the littlepackage out of Tooter's hand, and it fell on the floor. Holmesimmediately pounced on it, picked it up, and started to open it, butsuddenly his jaw dropped, his face showed deep disappointment, and heangrily confronted Tooter.

  "Say, what in thunder are you trying to pull off here, anyhow? This isa sample package of your confounded 'Tooter's Best Teas, Imported FromCeylon.' It's not one of the diamond cuff-buttons at all!" he cried.

  "Well, who said it was, you elongated chump?" shouted the arousedTooter. "I don't know anything about the Earl's cuff-buttons. You'vebeen hanging around here nearly two days now, and you haven't foundany yet; and then you have the nerve to steal my tea sample!"

  "Why, I just recovered two of the cuff-buttons a little while ago, onefrom Yensen, and one from Thorneycroft, and I supposed I was about toget back the third one from you," replied Holmes in angry perplexity;"you certainly talked as if you had one of the stolen gems there inyour hand. What did you mean by agreeing with me that it wouldseriously hurt your social standing, when all you were trying toconceal was a tea-packet, huh?"

  "Because I'm not supposed to be 'in trade,' that's why, Mr. Impudence.Any direct connection between myself and the tea industry, such as mybringing in this sample package to Teresa, so she could induce Louisthe chef to use it in the castle, would at once bar me from furtherconsideration as a retired gentleman by the London upper crust, intowhose exclusive circles I have but recently wormed myself with suchuntiring pertinacity. Now, do you understand why I didn't want to showyou the little package?"

  Holmes scowled at the tea sample, as he turned it over in his hand,and cursed softly under his breath as he replied:

  "I don't quite get you, Tooter. Everybody knows that you were born inobscurity, gradually worked your way up, and made all your money inthe tea and spice business, so why in the deuce should they care ifyou take it into your head to be a salesman for your own teas at yournephew-in-law's residence?"

  Tooter sighed deeply, shrugged his shoulders, answered:

  "Well, that's the rigorous lesson I had to learn in the West End,Holmes. You are evidently not familiar with the customs and mentalviewpoint of society people, or you would know that while it ispermissible to acquire wealth by going out and working your head offfor it, it is a most serious offense and an unforgivable _faux pas_ ifyou are caught trying to drum up trade for your establishment afteryou have landed at the top of the social heap. You see, I am supposedto let my managers do that, while I confine myself to spending thecoin that they make for me. I guess that's explaining it about as wellas it could be."

  And Tooter contemplated the scene outside the window, where the littlegreen buds were just beginning to push themselves out on the treelimbs.

  This explanation naturally didn't soothe Holmes to any great extent,as he had always despised society people and their ways, and thesudden shock of the disappointment, coming just after he had sosuccessfully recovered the first two cuff-buttons, made him lose histemper entirely, particularly as he looked around and noticed megrinning at his sour expression. As a result, both his paternalEnglish and his maternal French completely failed him in giving anoutlet to his feelings, and he started to swear in German.

  As the longer and heavier words of Teutonic profanity came from hislips, I quietly unlocked the door, and motioning to Uncle Tooter, weboth tiptoed out of the room and started downstairs, leaving Holmes tohis devotions. As I went down the stairway toward the library the lastthing I heard him say was: "Schweinhund!" which sounds pretty bad.

  Tooter and I walked in on the Earl and his secretary, and told them ofthe bad break Holmes had just made, which caused the Earl to lie backin his chair and roar, though Tooter was more concerned about thesocial disgrace of having been caught with the tea sample.

  The Earl was an easy-going and good-natured cuss, without the narrowprejudices of his snobbish friends, and readily promised not to tellanybody about it. He also simply grinned when Tooter told him thatTeresa had just promised to marry him, and said his revereduncle-in-law would have to assume the job of telling his niece thatshe would have to find a new maid.

  In a few minutes Holmes rejoined us as if nothing had happened, and weforbore from kidding him about it.

  "Well, the next victim I am going to jump onto is your valet, YourLordship, and I think I'm going to strike pay dirt this time," werehis first words. "Where is the rascal now?"

  "He's over in my room, sorting out my clothes," said the Earl.

  "All right. Come on, Watson, we'll nail him before he gets away fromthe scene of his crime."

  Whereupon I accompanied Holmes across the corridor to the room back ofthe drawing-room, which was the Earl's.

  Luigi was in there, engaged in laying out several suits of clothes onthe bed. He looked up in surprise as we entered.

  "Ah, Luigi, you haven't got any of the stolen cuff-buttons concealedup your sleeve there, have you? I would really hate to think that youhad," remarked Holmes, grinning sardonically.

  On hearing this thinly-veiled accusation Vermicelli's swarthy face goteven blacker, if possible, than it generally was, and he snarled:

  "No. I'm sick of hearing about them!"

  "I'm afraid we can't take your unsupported word for that, though,Luigi. We'll have to frisk you. Now, then, stand still while DocWatson goes through your pockets for the gems, or at least for someincriminating evidence."

  And Hemlock pulled out his trusty six-shooter and covered the valet.

  The latter got so scared at the sudden gun-play that he fell backwardon the bed, right over one of the Earl's best suits, which made iteasier for me to search him. I went through all his pockets withoutfinding anything that we were after until I tapped his insidecoat-pocket. Here I got hold of a small crumpled piece of paper, drewit out and read the following on it:

  DEAR LUIGI: Meet me at Wuxley's feed store in the village at five p. m. to-day, and we'll go in to London and sell the pair of diamond cuff-buttons. Be on your guard against that Holmes fellow. DEMETRIUS.

  "Ha, ha! Ha, ha! a couple of times!" chuckled Holmes, grabbing thenote from me and eagerly glancing over it. "I can tell at once thatthis note was written by a man who thinks he is going to meet theEarl's valet, but who is bound to be disappointed."

  "Well, will you let me go now? You've got the note," said Vermicelli,with a scowl at Holmes's gun, with which the detective still coveredhim.

  "You don't think I'm so soft as all that, do you? Let you go now, andthereby give y
ou a chance to warn your Greek accomplice in the gardensthat I've got his note? Not so that you could notice it, Luigi,"scoffed Holmes. "Up into your own room you go, behind lock and key,until after five o'clock, while I quietly don your light greenclothes, and disguised as yourself, go down to the guilty rendezvousat Brother Wuxley's feed store, and take the cuff-buttons away fromhim. I'll have the cooks send you up something at noontime, so youwon't starve in the meanwhile. Now march."

  And Holmes flourished his revolver at the valet again.

  Luigi didn't wait to be told a second time, but went up the stairswith considerable alacrity, while Holmes and I followed close behind.When we reached the fifth and top floor, we entered Luigi's roomthere, and the latter changed clothes with Holmes. As they were bothof the same height and build, and were both of dark complexion, thesecond gardener would not recognize my partner that evening until hegot up close to him, so Holmes was playing it rather safe.

  "I think I'll just keep these valet's togs on, for the fun of it, andthen I'll be all ready when five o'clock comes," said Holmes after wehad locked Luigi in his room and were descending the stairs. "Gee, butI wish they'd put in an elevator in this darned old-fashioned castle!My legs are getting kind of tired running up and down five flights ofstairs."

  As we reentered the library, where the Earl, Tooter, and Thorneycroftlooked up with surprise as they saw Holmes come back in Vermicelli'sclothes, Lord Launcelot and Billie Hicks came in. They had been up inthe billiard room for some time, and came down to see whether anythinghad developed in their absence. Upon being told that Holmes hadrecovered two of the cuff-buttons from Yensen and Thorneycroft, andwas in a fair way to recover a third one from Xanthopoulos, they weregreatly surprised.

  "We left Inspector Letstrayed asleep on one of the billiard tables,"said Launcelot, with a grin; "but I guess Holmes was able to get alongpretty well without him. A little while ago I heard the firstgardener, Blumenroth, swearing something fierce on the second floor.What was he doing up there, anyhow?"

  "How do you know it was Blumenroth?" asked Holmes, as he nudged me.

  "Because it was in German, and he's the only German here."

  "Do you understand German yourself?"

  "No."

  "Then how do you know it was swearing?"

  "Oh, I could tell by the tone of it."

  "Well, if you couldn't understand the words, no harm was done. Say,fellows, how do I look in the valet's togs?" asked Holmes turningaround as if he was in a tailor shop trying on a new suit.

  "It fits you kind of quick under the shoulders, Holmes, but I guess itwill do," said the Earl, with a critical eye.

  "What are you wearing those valet's clothes for, anyhow?" exclaimedHicks.

  Holmes winked his crafty old wink, and replied:

  "Along about five-thirty this evening you'll find out, after I returnfrom a little date I have made down at the village. It's twenty-fiveminutes of ten now, and a number of things may happen in between, sojust keep your eyes peeled."

  "This detective stuff is just one darned disguise after another, ain'tit, Holmes? A little while ago you were a race-track loafer, nowyou're a valet, and Heaven only knows what you'll be to-morrow," saidLauncelot, as he curled up in the window-seat and lit a cigarette.

  "Well, I don't mind it," was Holmes's reply. "Now, Watson, I'llneed you again. I've had my eye on a certain party since mydeduction-trance yesterday noon, and was waiting for her sense ofshame to impel her to confess her part in the cuff-button robbery;but since she has not as yet done so, I shall be forced to resortto sterner measures. Come with me, and leave these fellows to killtime any way they like until we return."

  And the old sleuth started to lead me out of the room.

  "She, did you say? Is one of the women servants guilty also?" queriedthe Earl.

  "Well, why not?" snapped Holmes. "I don't believe in this doctrine offeminine impeccability. But don't try to spill the beans by getting meto reveal my hand before I've played it now. Good-by, George."

  We left the room, going upstairs to the second floor, where Holmestapped lightly on the door of the Countess's room.