Plays 6
Page 17
Mother Oh Sir! –
Arabella Kind Sir! –
Mother Dear Sir! –
McGinty Tut, tut! Think nothing of it, that’s the sort of man I am. In the meantime, lest my best entreaties fail of course, be looking for a place before he moves in the matter. Now I must be off. May heaven look down on you with blessings, if it can. (Exit.)
Mother A comfort to have such a friend in the hour of trouble?
Arabella Yes, Mother. He appears a very feeling man. (To herself.) But what if he be in mistake about Young Kilcullen’s character? Arabella Clancy, it’s vainalorious of you to be setting conjecture against the opinion of a learned man! But my instinct, now awakened, grows obstinate to see him. Tck, Arabella Clancy! That is female curiosity aroused, for you have heard too the young man’s not too badly landscaped. Yes, but what if I, in concert then with our lawyer friend, made proposal of our own? Dare I? Arabella, will you stop! I won’t! Mother, how much have we put aside to purchase fuel for the winter?
Mother It’s all here in the box.
Arabella And if that were offered to him?
Mother Thirty shillings –
Arabella It would partially do for our rent arrears.
Mother And when the young man finds we are disposed to fairly deal with him? Yes, go to him!
Arabella Yes, I shall go to him! –
Mother And he’ll relent! –
Arabella He’ll relent! (She is putting on her village bonnet, etc. To herself.) And yet, I tremble with a sad foreboding.
Mother Why, child, you turn pale!
Arabella Dearest Mother, it is nothing. A severe task is imposed on us, but it must be done.
Mother And he’ll relent! And if he be one whit like his father, he’ll have the manners of a gentleman and, however wild his conduct when at large among the loafers, he’ll not insult an unprotected woman.
Arabella You give me courage.
Mother Hand me down my book
Arabella gets the Bible, kisses it for strength and gives it to her mother.
Mother Go forth, my child; go as the dove from the ark of old and return with the olive branch of peace.
Arabella Should I fail?
Mother Return to find consolation here in the bosom of your fond old widowed mother. But you shall not fail.
Scene Two
Drop scene. A landscape.
McGinty and Arabella separately, en route to see Edward Kilcullen, alternate, coming forward and retiring.
McGinty Well, that little scene of sympathy and concern with Bartholemew Clancy’s widow and daughter went well. Now for this young milksop puppy Kilcullen.
Arabella In a few moments I shall come face to face with this young man whose tarnished reputation now alarmingly enlarges in my brain. Oh courage, Arabella!
McGinty I now control all the Kilcullen family ever owned except the cottage, which final clause, when I possess it, will clinch a life’s ambition.
Arabella I’m nearly there – Dare I go on? I must go on, suppliant to a dangerous reprobate for shelter beneath the roof where I was born.
McGinty Why? Firstly, for the kindness I for years endured from Patrick-Joseph-Paddy-Joe Kilcullen and, secondly – secondly, it doesn’t suit me to think about it now.
Arabella Do my mother’s cheery urgings, my own innocent expectations deceive in leading me to hope of a notorious dissipated collegian?
McGinty Ha! There he is.
Arabella Shriek! A gentleman approaches.
McGinty Wish-washed and starry-eyed.
Arabella His fear-inspiring countenance informs me it is he.
McGinty I cooked the father, now to prepare easier fare, the son. (Exit.)
Arabella I am tongue-tied. I must pause a moment for valour to recover. (She retires.)
Enter Edward, another innocent; young, handsome, earnest, somewhat dreamy and romantic.
Edward For the very sacred life of me I know not what to think. The situation bears no comprehension. All these acres should be mine. What offence to merit disinheritance? That I enjoy a – tipple – now and then? Hardly. Or that my father thought I lacked ‘drive’, that my bashfulness was ‘unmanly’? I must say I am a trifle upset. (To heaven.) And what now up there, Papa, has Mama got to say to you in heaven, what does she think of you? ‘Out and out with you, Paddy Joe!’ she is saying, I’ll wager. ‘Out and out with you to treat your son – your only son – our only child like that!’ (He produces a hip-flask.) She at least left me a little something in cash. But that will hardly keep whatever-the-animal-is from the stable door when the fox has run off with all the chickens, will it? Hah! Out and out with you, Paddy Joe! (And he has a sip from the flask.)
McGinty (without) Holloo! Young Master Kilcullen, Sir! (Entering.)
Arabella (from afar) Lawyer McGinty goes earnestly to plead our case.
McGinty I bring good news!
Edward You have found another will!
McGinty What strange idea! There cannot be other than the one that cut you off: I conducted all your late dear father’s business.
Edward It don’t make sense! Adoringly he looked me at the last. – He drew me close. My very image was reflected in his eye – as I stand here I saw it there – an apple! Before heaven’s very threshold he turned back and said, ‘Forget the poetry, put your knuckles to the grindstone, and ever keep a special eye on those that heaven chose to bless less well than you, the tenantry.’ Where is explanation? What tenantry?! for me to keep a special eye on.
McGinty Your father was a saint sure. Who, but I, has reason never to forget the superiority of his existence? But like many a saint before him, he rambled at the last.
Edward But father was so wise – ‘Paddy Joe’! The man could not even – blink – without there being something in his eye. What could he have in mind that is so encoded in his dying scripture? (He is throwing his hands up.) I am bereft!
McGinty But, Young Sir, you have the cottage, previously inherited by deed, which is the matter I have come about. I have opportunity of selling it.
Edward Lost! (He’s not listening; sighs and has a sip.)
McGinty For – a hundred pounds?
Edward (absently) Did I not hear that it is occupied?
McGinty By an impecunious old widow and her child.
Edward Who have lived there long.
McGinty In arrears for rent.
Edward And that the widow is in poor health.
McGinty She has a claim upon the poorhouse.
Edward Hmm? (He continues dreamily.)
McGinty I have the eviction papers here, ready to be signed.
Edward (then, suddenly) I have tenants! Maybe I have little else but I have tenants to keep a special eye on! Do I at last begin to decipher some of father’s philosophy?
McGinty Young man –
Edward Hold! Though I am now myself in somewhat straitened circumstances, that condition shall not make me less gentlemanly. Deprive peasant simplicity of a caring landlord! Of a home dear to them as a, perhaps a – popsy! Send them forth from the flowers they have cultivated, the vines they have trained in courses –
McGinty No vines – (‘Hot air.’ )
Edward From an abode endeared to them by tenderest recollections and domestic remembrances of things past.
McGinty Oh, all that and more! The fences they’ve neglected, garden gate off its hinges, limbs of birch and fruit trees broken down for firewood – a window decorated with a battered hat!
Edward Cease, McGinty! All this was explained to me by Billy Earley in the tavern last evening. The trees were broken down by idle schoolboys, and with regard to the battered hat in the window, whose hat was that, Sir? I ask you! It was a man’s hat, Sir, the hat of Bartholemew Clancy, Sir! Can as much be said of yours, McGinty?
McGinty I see you are pleased to be pleasant this morning and I bid you good day! (He walks away, stops. To himself.) This does not turn out.
Arabella (from afar) He has argued well our case but
his sombre face tells not of victory.
McGinty I’ll play my next advantage.
Arabella He tries for us again – Courage to the lawyer!
McGinty Beg pardon, Master Kilcullen, I now comprehend what underlies your plan the better. Let them stay on in the cottage for a term. The daughter, growing girl, eh? Tender, rosy, firm?
Edward’s lack of comprehension.
McGinty Aa, you have not seen her!
Edward Never.
McGinty Aaaaa!
Edward Explain yourself.
McGinty Continue them in residence till you’re – satisfied? Traps for wild fowl? Mother, daughter grateful – free access to the cottage at all hours – love, passion?
Edward Do you know the girl has no father?
McGinty That’s it!
Edward Are you aware that she is brotherless?
McGinty A garden without a fence! All you have to do is step inside.
Edward That is – McGinty! – shocking! To enter like a wolf an innocent fold and lie down with a lamb! Tear from a mother’s arms the last hope of her old age! If I had a horsewhip I would seize you by the throat and dash you prostrate to the earth!
McGinty (aside) He’s drunk!
Edward (loudly) Unmolested, the widow and her child shall remain in the cottage – for ever!
Arabella Heavens! (And she approaches.)
McGinty Hell!
Edward This is the widow’s – child ?
McGinty And she is a dear girl. But I am deeply upset that a member of the family I have esteemed my lifelong years should so misconstrue my words.
Arabella (to McGinty) Oh thank you, Sir! And blessings – blessings! – shower on you, Sir! (She kneels at Edward’s feet.)
Edward She – she weeps?
McGinty As I do. (As he exits.) I’ll be revenged on them both for this.
Edward By – by my soul!
Arabella (weeping; to herself) This is unexpected kindness, Arabella.
Edward The lovely girl excites my sympathy, strangely. No! R-r-rise, M-m-miss.
Arabella Clancy. I have an errand, Sir, for you.
Edward What’s this?
Arabella ’Tis portion of the rent money we owe. Oh, but be assured of the remainder as soon as willing hands can earn it.
He stays her with a gesture.
But you declared that Mother and I should remain in the cottage!
Edward And I s-s-spoke it plain.
Arabella What reason then to hold from you your due? – Take it!
Edward N-n-nay!
Arabella I entreat! Especially now you are in need of it. (Hand to her mouth: was her last presumptuous?)
Edward (is not offended; he is mustering himself against his shyness. Loudly.) Perish the rent money, Miss Clancy!
Arabella What do I do with it?
Edward Keep it!
Arabella Ay?!
Edward As portion of your dowry.
Arabella Sir?
Edward Shall I undisguise my feelings? Shall I?
Arabella ’Twould be impertinent of me to order you in aught.
Edward In plenitude are there comely maidens with beauty to astonish in this section of the country. But I have now discovered something more: a purity of mental excellence, noble sentiment and filial piety. These qualities my mother had, these were the charms that bound captive my father’s heart and made man of him. I too would be such success as he. (He throws the flask away behind his back.) I speak plainly for I speak honestly, and when I ask that you keep the contents of that box as portion of your dowry, need I say into whose hands I should like to have it fall at last?
Arabella (to herself) Shriek! But to affect not to understand you further, Sir, would be idle return for your kindness and condescension.
Edward M-m-miss Clancy
Arabella Arabella.
Edward I sometimes stroll in the vicinity of your cottage.
Arabella Should I, M-m-mr Kilcullen –
Edward Edward –
Arabella See you go by without stopping, why then, why then –
Edward Why then, why then, Miss Clancy?
Arabella Why then – Oh Mr Kilcullen, I should suppose that you’d forgotten where I lived!
Edward Yes, my father’s wisdom worked in ways mysterious. A cottage, gifted to me by this deed on the day that I was born: that it should become a casket for a priceless jewel! Miss Clancy, in earnest of my trust, would you consent to have your name lie with mine on this document?
Arabella Edward!
Edward Arabella!
Music.
They exit.
In the transition, McGinty returns and looks off in the direction they have taken.
McGinty Thus ends my efforts? (He sees the discarded hip-flask and he picks it up.) Thus ends my efforts, for now.
He exits.
Scene Three
A platform on the village green for a celebration. Villagers in festive spirit enter for the party. William Earley, Girls (including an oddly dressed Widdy Spindle), Farmer and McGinty too, affecting goodwill. They are led in by Rencelaw, who is in peasant dress his ‘disguise’ a pied piper with a tin whistle. The men have tankards of drink.
All Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Rencelaw The village keeps holiday for the newlyweds!
All Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Rencelaw (calling off) Stay you a while there, the rest of you! You shall all have chance to show your mettle!
McGinty Ha, ha, ha! – Great happiness attends us all!
All Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Rencelaw Yes, warm the village green with honest, wholesome merriment for the arrival of the happy couple! Select partners!
William Widdy Spindle, let’s see what’s left in them relic pins!
Spindle William Earley, how uncouthful!
They dance. All dancing.
Rencelaw Vary partners!
All dancing, change partners.
Rencelaw Single dancers!
Others Widdy Spindle, take the floor! Widdy Spindle! (Etc.)
Spindle (coyly) Nay! ’Tis too much for my temerity!
And she leaps into the dance, the others cheering on her solo performance.
Farmer Now be William’s turn!
Others William! Billy! (Etc.)
William (dancing solo)
When I was a young and roving boy,
Where fancy led me I did wander;
Sweet Caroline was my pride and joy,
But I missed the goose and hit the gander!
Clapping, cheering – ‘Next!’ ‘Who’s next?’ – and Rencelaw takes the floor.
Rencelaw Well executed, honest William, but – Everybody! – Observe how I do it!
When I was a young and roving boy,
Where fancy led that road I’d take;
Sweet Angeline was my pride and joy,
But I missed the goose and hit the drake!
Laughter, applause etc.
Spindle Who is he? Who is that handsome, vigorous (young) man?
Rencelaw (aside) When visiting the provinces, I sometimes conceal myself lest my fame put them in awe.
Farmer That be Sir Arden Rencelaw in his disguise.
William Likes to be up and down the country –
Farmer A-couragin’ what be right, a-curin’ what be wrong.
Girls A ring-play, a ring-play!
Rencelaw Form a circle!
William Fall in here! –
Girls A ring-play, a ring-play!
McGinty Sweet golden age of youth!
Spindle Who’ll go in the middle?
McGinty Aa, that I were young again!
William Lawyer McGinty!
McGinty protesting.
All Honest Lawyer McGinty!
He is pushed into the centre.
William There’s a right, rich catch for you, ladies!
And they circle him.
Girls I am a rich
I am a rich widow, I live all alone;
Go, son – go, son – go choose you one –
Go choose a good one or else choose none!
All Choose! Choose! . . . (Laughter.)
Improvise. McGinty succumbs to a shy, giggling side of his nature. Girls are pushed at him or he grabs at the Girls . . . Spindle finds herself with McGinty.
Men Kiss her, McGinty!
Spindle Mortifications!
Girls Kiss him, Widdy Spindle!
Spindle Petrafactions!
Farcical kiss. Cheers. And McGinty and Spindle dance, while:
All (circling them)
Now you are married, you must obey
What you have heard your parents say!
Now you are married, you must prove true
As you see others do, so do you!
William Mary and Joseph!
He’s impatient at this ‘clumsy’ dance; he sweeps Spindle from McGinty and they dance together, vigorously.
Mercy on me! What have you done?
You married the father instead of the son!
His legs are crooked and ill put on,
They’re all laughing, Widdy Spindle, at your young man!
Laughter, cheering. Then a gradual hush and they pull back as Agnes comes in, singing to herself, smiling, laughing crazily, and strewing some withered flowers.
Agnes (without) Brake and fern and
Brake and fern and cypress dell
Where slippery adder crawls . . .
McGinty The maniac, Agnes Earley. Her voice haunts me like the spectre of that young shuffler she was to marry.
Agnes Brake and
Brake and fern and cypress dell
Where slippery adder crawls,
Where grassy waters well
By the old moss-covered walls . . .
To various people, in turn.
Will you come to my wedding today and see the coffin go in? Will you come to my wedding today and . . . (Etc.)
Spindle (to Rencelaw) She were to be married, Sir, but night afore wedding her young man up and died –
Girl Outside the tavern.
Spindle Fell ’n’ died in a drunken fit.
Farmer Aye!
McGinty Her eyes! Maniacs have strange insight. She knows too much for my happiness.
Agnes (to McGinty) Will you come to my wedding today –
McGinty Go home, Agnes, you creature!