by Louise Guy
Leah stared.
He was willing to pay for Eve to take more time off. She blinked back the tears that were threatening to fill her eyes once again.
‘I’m sorry,’ Peter said. ‘I didn’t want to upset you.’
She shook her head. ‘I’m not upset. I’m totally overwhelmed you’d offer to do that for me.’
‘We want to look after you,’ he said gently. ‘And we want you to look after yourself. That’s the priority right now. We’ll be fine for the short-term covering your accounts.’
Leah nodded. Her lies were affecting his business, his bottom line. Again, not something she’d considered when making the decision to become Eve.
‘Curt’s out until eleven. When he gets back, brief him on any new developments since you took back your portfolio. He’s up to speed with most of your accounts so it shouldn’t take long. Keep in touch with me and your office is here waiting when you feel you’re up to it. And I mean really up to it, Eve.’
Until Leah had some clue of what a real estate agent actually did was the underlying message.
She spent the morning organising her files and cleaning her office of all personal items while she waited for Curt. It didn’t take long to hand the files back over to him, and by a little after twelve they were finished.
Leah took a last look around her office and collected her bag and coat. She stuck her head in to Peter’s office to say she was leaving.
He got up and gave her a hug. ‘I want you better, Eve. You’ve been through a lot, and you need to process it. Grieve. Get your head together. It won’t happen overnight.’
She hugged him back. What an amazing boss Eve had. She couldn’t imagine Fitzy saying anything like this.
Leah said her goodbyes to the other staff and made her way out of the office to meet Nicola.
Nicola raised an eyebrow when Leah put her hand across the top of the wine glass and shook her head.
‘Really? No wine?’
‘I’m pregnant, Nic, or did you forget? I’ll stick with mineral water.’
Her sister’s friend poured herself a glass and shook her head. ‘Didn’t stop you the first time around.’
‘Really? I drank when I was pregnant with the twins?’
‘You don’t remember?’
She shook her head. ‘Considering I hardly drink, that seems weird.’
‘You seem weird.’
Leah laughed at the direct comment. ‘Really? How?’
‘Just different. Her eyes grazed over Leah’s face and down to her clothes. ‘Since the accident, I hardly recognise you, physically and personality wise.’
She’d purposefully applied more make-up than she’d been wearing and dressed in one of Eve’s designer suits. She’d even worn high, uncomfortable heels, all because she was meeting Nicola. Yet, her sister’s friend was saying she looked physically different? ‘Physically?’
‘You look more like yourself today,’ Nicola said. ‘Although, you’d never have been caught dead wearing such a pale shade of lipstick. Whatever happened to bold reds being your power lips? Lips no one could resist?’
Leah spluttered on her mineral water. ‘I actually said that?’
‘Far out, Evie! Have you been back to see the doctor? How can you not remember that sort of stuff? It’s one thing to not remember saying it, but to have stopped wearing it too? Where did you get that natural shade you’re wearing today? You must’ve gone out to buy it. There’s no way the Eve I know would own that. Or what? Did you inherit Leah’s make-up?’
Heat flushed her cheeks. Busted. Yes, she’d taken all her make-up from her flat and added it to her drawers in Eve’s bathroom. She needed to feel comfortable in her own skin, even if she was pretending to be someone else.
Nicola took her hand. ‘Sorry, didn’t mean to bring up Leah. But do you honestly think she’d want to see you change so much? You’ve become a different person. It’s like you’re trying to be Leah, or something weird.’
‘Why, because I’m spending more time with my family and less time worrying about superficial things like make-up and clothes?’
‘Exactly.’ She smiled, relieved that Eve finally understood. ‘It’s not like you. You’ve always hated so many of the things you say you’re doing now. Picking up the girls. Doing homework with them. Cooking meals. All the things you hired the nanny for. You’re becoming the nanny.’
Leah shook her head. That was how Nicola saw her now, as the nanny? ‘Not the nanny, Nic. I think I’m finally learning how to be a good mother.’
Her sister’s friend snorted. ‘Boring. What about your work? Ben? Your life?’
‘Things have changed.’
‘Have they ever.’ The woman sipped her wine.
‘I can’t explain exactly how or why, but they’ve changed. You’re right, I am a different person. I feel different. What’s important is different. The girls are my life, and that’s not going to change. Yes, it took a tragedy and a huge whack on the head to see that, but I do now.’ Leah squeezed her hand. ‘I’m sorry that’s not what you want to hear.’
Nicola pulled back. ‘It’s your life, Eve. I know you lost a lot in the accident, and I’m glad if you feel that your life’s better now, but I feel like I lost a lot in the accident, too. I feel like I lost my best friend.’
Tears flooded Leah’s eyes.
Nicola couldn’t realise how true her words were. She had lost her best friend.
They both had.
Leah hardly saw Sean during the week that followed. He had a heavy caseload and was working late every night. He made sure he was up with the girls each morning, so he saw them but usually left during their breakfast time.
She hadn’t expected much from him. If anything, she’d been surprised to receive the occasional smile. She’d told him that she’d been asked to take some time off from work because she’d been doing a pretty horrible job of it.
He’d been sympathetic when she’d explained what Peter had said. Sean had also been concerned to learn that her memory loss had such an impact on her job. He’d stated it wasn’t normal to forget how to do your job, and suggested she make another doctor’s appointment as soon as possible.
She was thinking of Sean while she waited for the girls on Friday after school. His nicer behaviour didn’t mean much, long-term. She rubbed her stomach, still amazed that a little person was growing inside her.
The twelve-week scan was only two weeks away. She hadn’t imagined seeing her baby for the first time by herself, but it was out of the question to ask Sean to come with her. She could ask her mother but was unsure how her mum really felt about it.
It was all such a mess.
Jackie was who she really needed around her right now. That wasn’t realistic either. Her phone pinged with a text message and she smiled reading it.
Eve, was so lovely to see you. Thank you again for the presents you brought for Poppy and Dustin. I’d love to see you again. I’ll be up your way tomorrow morning. Any chance you’d be free for a coffee? Jackie xx
Before the accident there were many times Leah would be thinking about Jackie and within minutes, she’d receive a text message or phone call from her friend. They’d always laugh about it. Say it was ESP. It appeared that hadn’t changed.
She sent her a quick text back saying she’d love to and suggested they meet at Roast in Brighton at ten.
Leah sent the message before realising that suggesting their usual catch up spot might not have been the most sensitive suggestion.
She relaxed when a smiley face came back and, CU then.
The classroom door burst open and twenty-five seven-year-olds came tumbling out.
Harriet, her blue shoe laces giving away her identity, came out before Ava. She was smiling and chatting with a friend. She waved to Leah and ran to get her bag.
Ava appeared at the back of the group. She looked anxious as she still did most afternoons. Her eyes searched the waiting parents and her face broke into a huge smile the moment she saw
Leah.
Her heart contracted. The little girl was still so anxious. Leah shuddered. Her whole reason for becoming Eve had been to protect the girls. Provide security. It certainly wasn’t to put them through the trauma of divorce.
Leah, much to the delight of Ava and Harriet, tossed the last of the pancakes up into the air and all three of them watched as it came back down half landing on the plate and half on the bench.
They all cheered.
‘Well done, Mummy,’ Harriet said. ‘You’re getting much better at flipping. Almost equal to Aunty Leah.’
Leah was an expert at pancake flipping, but for the twins’ benefit, she’d been working her way up to looking like she knew what she was doing.
It’d all started a few weeks back when Harriet had watched her make pancakes and told her that the real secret to them tasting yummy was to flip them. She’d pretended to be doubtful and then tossed the first pancake up and feigned horror when it had stuck to the ceiling.
The twins had watched open mouthed, their glances alternating between the ceiling and their mother’s reaction.
Sean had walked in to find them in fits of laughter watching the final piece of pancake gradually fall to the floor.
Since then, Leah’s flipping abilities had slowly improved. The first pancake she’d managed to land on a plate earned her a huge round of applause. She still ensured at least one pancake hit the roof, partly for the hilarity, but also to ensure she didn’t look too skilled.
Part of this morning’s effort was still hanging waiting to fall.
The girls took their plates with the pancakes that’d survived and sat down at the table.
Leah popped some bread into the toaster for her own breakfast and set about making a pot of tea.
‘Don’t you drink coffee anymore?’ Ava asked.
She’d cut down to one coffee a day since discovering she was pregnant. ‘I’m meeting Aunty Jackie for a coffee this morning. I don’t want to overdo it with too many.’
‘You’re meeting Jackie? Why?’
Her stomach clenched when Sean walked into the kitchen and sat at the island bench.
‘Because she asked,’ Leah said. ‘It helps her feel connected to Leah and it’s good for me too.’
He smiled. ‘I hope it goes okay. That she’s not too sad.’
She hesitated. Two smiles in less than twenty-four hours. ‘We had a really nice catch-up when I visited at her house. She said then she wanted to stay in touch, so I assume that’s all this is. Tea?’
‘Yes, please.’ A third smile.
Leah took another cup from the shelf as Sean moved and sat at the table with the girls.
Their conversation turned to laughter very quickly, further fuelled by Lewis who jumped up onto the table.
‘Lewis!’ The cry came from the twins simultaneously.
She scooped him off the table with one arm. ‘Come on, you naughty pussycat. I’ll get you some breakfast.’
Ava’s smile vanished and worry appeared in her eyes.
She’d called Lewis naughty in a jokey way, yet the little girl still seemed to be on edge, worried that the old Eve would return. Leah made a point of lifting Lewis high into the air and spinning him around before putting him on the floor and rubbing him under the chin.
‘I can hear him purring from here,’ Harriet said. ‘He loves you so much, Mummy.’
‘And me him.’ Her eyes connected with Ava’s while she spoke. ‘He’s completely changed my view on cats. I can’t imagine life without him.’
Ava visibly relaxed and tucked back into her pancakes as Leah poured some biscuits into Lewis’ bowl.
‘What time are you meeting Jackie?’ Sean asked.
‘Ten, if that’s okay? I won’t be out for too long. I can drop the girls at Mum and Dad’s on the way if you have work to do. I already checked with them.’
‘No, I’m not working this weekend. I was thinking after lunch we could drive up to Belgrave. Puffing Billy leaves at two-thirty and I managed to get some tickets this morning. What do you all think?’
The twins squealed in delight.
Leah smiled at their excitement, but inside was disappointed. Another Saturday spent on her own. For Sean, it was a lot easier to get out of the house with the kids than be around her.
She spooned the tea leaves into the pot while the girls asked Sean questions about Puffing Billy. They’d never been on the iconic steam train before.
‘Sound good, Eve?’ he asked. ‘Do you think you’d be back by one, so we can head off? We could have a wander through Belgrave first if we’re early.’
Leah stared. ‘You bought tickets for all four of us?’
He nodded. His eyes searching hers. ‘Yes. I thought it would be a nice thing to do as a family.’
‘You will come, won’t you, Mummy?’ Ava asked.
She stared at Sean. Doing things as a family?
‘Mummy,’ Ava said again. ‘You will come?’
Leah ruffled her hair. ‘Of course. I haven’t been on Puffing Billy since I was about your age. I wouldn’t miss it. I’ll definitely be home before one. In fact, I should be home in time to make us all lunch before we go.’
‘No,’ Sean said. ‘We’ll have lunch ready. If you’re not back in time, we’ll pack yours up and you can eat it in the car. Okay?’
He was going out of his way to be nice. What was the catch?
‘Sounds lovely.’
She grabbed her toast and picked up the teapot to head to the table.
Sean immediately reached across her plate and stole a piece of toast.
The twins giggled.
Leah pointed in the direction of the toaster. ‘For that, you will be sentenced to making more toast. Extra slices too for the girls, and of course Lewis.’
He leapt up and bowed continuously on the way to the toaster. ‘Yes, Your Majesty. Of course, Your Majesty. And Sir Lewis, what would he like on his toast? Smoked salmon perhaps?’
Leah and the girls laughed at Sean’s ridiculous act.
The mood was cheerful while they ate their breakfast.
Harriet filled her father in on everything important that’d happened to her that week, and he was also given a full run-down of everything funny Lewis had done.
He laughed with his daughters, occasionally winking at Leah.
It would’ve been lovely if it wasn’t so unnerving.
She drank the last of her tea and put her cup down. ‘I’d better go get ready. I need to leave soon.’
‘We’ll clean up, Mummy,’ Ava said.
‘Yes,’ agreed Sean. ‘Our turn.’
A wicked glint appeared in Harriet’s eye. ‘You’ll have to get the ladder, Daddy. There’s a pancake on the roof.’
His eyes went up to the ceiling where the last piece of pancake still clung on. His eyes darted to Leah, who shrugged. He shook his head and burst out laughing.
Leah searched the tables at Roast but saw no signs of Jackie. The coffee shop was busy with most tables in use and other customers standing by the counter waiting for takeaways. Music played in the background but could hardly be heard over the buzz of chatter and brewing coffee. The delicious aroma of freshly ground beans filled Leah’s senses and she wished drinking coffee wasn’t discouraged during pregnancy. She placed an order, and made her way to an empty table tucked away at the back of the store.
A few minutes later, her best friend appeared at the front door. Her eyes scanned the shop. She smiled when she saw Leah waving.
She jumped up when Jackie reached the table and hugged her.
‘You look so much better than you did the other week,’ Leah said.
Jackie did. Her face had filled out a little, a shine had returned to her hair, and her smile reached her eyes.
‘I’m feeling better. Your visit really helped give me the kick up the bum I needed. It made me realise I’ll get through this. I will cope.’ She smiled. ‘Now, should we order?’
‘Already did,’ Leah said, and immediately regre
tted it. Eve would hardly remember how Jackie took her coffee. ‘Latte macchiato. Right?’
Surprise lit Jackie’s face. ‘How on earth did you know that?’
‘We had coffee a few times with Leah.’
‘But that was years ago. You have an amazing memory.’
She forced a laugh. ‘Only because I’d never heard of it before you ordered it. So, tell me, how’s Richard? How are the kids?’
Jackie gave the quick summary of how her family were, and politely asked the same about Sean and the twins.
‘I hope you didn’t think it was strange me asking you to have coffee,’ she said, after a waiter delivered their steaming cups. ‘It’s just, your visit was so lovely. I felt like I had part of Leah with me.’
‘You do. She’ll always be with you. She’ll be a big piece in all our hearts.’
‘I know, but it was more than that. I had this strange feeling when you were there. It brought me a kind of peace. I feel it now, too. Your connection to Leah is so strong. It’s like I can feel her.’
Tears filled Leah’s eyes. Of course, she could feel it. Only she didn’t know she was being deceived.
Jackie put her hand on Leah’s. ‘Oh, Eve. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.’
Tears poured down her cheeks as she tried to smile. She shook her head and wiped her eyes on the back of her sleeve. ‘Sorry, I’m a bit emotional at the moment.’
Jackie nodded. ‘I’m like that, too. It only takes a few words, and the grief hits me all over again. I wonder if it’ll ever go away?’
A lump formed in Leah’s throat and the tears kept coming. She couldn’t stop. She’d caused Jackie’s pain. One of the people she loved best was hurting so much and it was for nothing.
She’d completely failed Eve’s wishes to look after her family. Instead she’d hurt them, and friends, in the process.
Jackie passed a serviette across the table. Her face was full of concern. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she kept saying.
