Onliest

by J Daniel Batt

  “Stop talking in riddles!” Kerwen balled her fists up.

  Neci sighed herself, “Fine. Full story. The idiots got scared and took over. Killed most of the command crew.”

  “What idiots?” Syn asked.

  “I don’t know which idiots. Some of the colonists. Choose. They were all stupid. Anyway, they decide they don’t want to wait. Someone decides to work out the numbers and tries to speed up their journey by burning up most of the fuel to increase their speed and then using some method of skirting Kapteyn’s Star just on its event horizon to slow down. Everyone believed him. They did it. Then they consulted Olorun. The ship explained they were wrong. The figures were off. Way off. Then they lost it. That was the start of the Madness.”

  “Liar!” Kerwen said.

  Pigeon gave a sharp, shrill laugh. They all turned to look at her. She was sitting on the ground of the Jacob, her eyes staring at the ceiling. Syn allowed a glance to follow her gaze, but there was nothing there.

  “What?” Taji said.

  “You frightened Kerwen. She’s scared,” Pigeon said.

  Kerwen relaxed her hands, releasing her fists. “I’m not scared. I just don’t understand. That can’t be the answer.”

  “It isn’t,” Pigeon said, “Can’t you all tell she’s playing with you?”

  Syn tapped Blip. His shell tingled. The sensation moved, and Syn followed it with her finger. She followed just a few inches, but the vibration led her finger to the bottom right of its shell—a location at the peripheral of her vision and blocked by her arm from the other’s sight.

  She stole a glance. In the faint blue light, nearly imperceptible had she not been looking directly at it, words flashed: BE READY.

  Her heart raced. Be ready for what?

  She tapped Blip again. He vibrated in reply—a short burst. A “leave me alone, let me think” response. Did they know each other that well? He didn’t speak to her, but words weren’t needed.

  The Crimson Queen held her shoulders back—a prideful stance. She was in control, even in chaos. In that confident look, Syn caught a glimpse of Neci’s train of thought and understood the logic that had taken her there. Perhaps it was a larger plan than anything Syn had dreamed of, but it was a plan, and Neci’s thought process did not seem foreign at all. Every piece of the puzzle seemed to proceed naturally from the one before. Crazy. Grandiose. But it made sense.

  Kerwen pressed her palms together in front of her face. “Can someone tell me?”

  “I’m making the princess open the gate. That’s my first goal,” Neci said.

  Taji picked up the line of thought, “That’s why we’re flooding this Disc.” She gestured out the window with the point of the spear, just as Syn used to.

  Neci nodded. “That’s why we’re flooding it. This was my backup plan. If you refuse and that thing in your hands doesn’t wake up and the bitch above doesn’t respond, I’ll force your hand. This world is going to drown. Burning it didn’t work.” She looked at Syn. “And then?”

  The entire plan formed in Syn’s mind. Perhaps, had she been in Neci’s place, she would have crafted it herself. Syn whispered, “Then you release this Disc from the needle to reduce weight. The remaining fuel should be enough to get us to our destination.” She took a step closer to Neci. “You don’t have a companion. Are you sure you solved it right?”

  “Oh, I’ve had my numbers checked and rechecked.” She gave a thin grin to Pigeon. “But not just the water. This Disc. We’re going to eject the Disc.”

  Pigeon allowed a small smile in return but quickly extinguished it and stared at the ground.

  “How?” Syn asked.

  Neci avoided the question, “We now have a deadline.”

  “This has been our entire life,” Kerwen said, “I don’t want it…” She stumbled on the words, emotion welling up inside her. Tears filled her eyes.

  “How do you release the Disc?” Syn asked.

  “That’s the question!” Neci said. “How do we get rid of the Disc? It’s easy. Once we’re through the gate, all we have to do—” She cut off her words sharply. She narrowed her eyes at Syn. “No, no, no. I don’t think you need to know everything. You have one job. Just do your job.”

  “Screw you,” Syn said.

  Blip’s skin vibrated, and Syn’s finger followed the sensation. It led her back to the area where the words had last flashed. This time, briefly it said: HOLD YOUR BREATH.

  What? Syn wanted to dart away. What was Blip doing? Instead, she froze and stood motionless, a statue in fear that the others would detect a change.

  Neci smiled, “Oh, be kind. We have to spend the rest of our lives together.” She flashed a smile at Syn. “Besides, you know it’s a good plan. I can see the wheels turning. When I think of all of us, you’re the one most like me.”

  The gravity in the Jacob had shifted, and Syn could feel the lack of it tangibly. Every limb moved with greater ease. They were racing high up, and gravity’s decline was an exponential difference. Every moment significantly reduced the overall pull. In a few seconds, they would be floating.

  In blue, Blip flashed: 10.

  A moment later, a second later, he flashed: 9. Her heart rate slowed.

  A countdown. He was counting down to something. She would have to hold her breath in nine seconds. Yet, even with that expectation, her anxiety ebbed away—it always did when he did his counting trick. Ever since she was little, this stupid stunt would focus her racing mind and bring her back down.

  Syn said, “No.”

  8.

  Now, eight seconds. She was going to have to hold her breath in eight seconds.

  7.

  Then, right after, it flashed, HOLD TIGHT.

  Pigeon’s eyes glanced down at the bot. Had she seen what Blip was writing? Or just the flash of light? Would she say something?

  Neci said, “We’re the decision makers. We had the tough job. Made us different. We were born cauterized. We were designed for the extreme environment of other worlds. And the best of us only grow stronger with each moment.”

  5.

  Syn’s palms were sweating. Again, she muttered, “No.”

  “Keep saying it, but it doesn’t change a thing,” Neci said. She turned to look out the window. “Blasted near identical.”

  3.

  And again, in quick flashes, HOLD TIGHT and HOLD YOUR BREATH.

  Pigeon’s eyes again glanced down at Blip. She looked up at Syn, her eyes wide with horror. Pigeon breathed, “No—"

  Syn took a deep breath. An action that caused Neci to turn in her direction.

  2.

  Neci narrowed her eyes, glancing between Syn and Pigeon. Pigeon pushed herself back against the wall and muttered again, “Stop.”

  But the warning came too late.

  Blip’s skin vibrated, and Syn gripped him tight. She crouched as well, knowing what Blip was doing. Her heart was slamming against her chest. He had warned against this very thing so many times before.

  1.

  The Jacob control panel beeped loudly. The doors slid open and the air inside the Jacob rushed out into the thinner atmosphere outside.

  Syn pushed off the floor to propel herself through the door. She did not need to. Blip came alive, full lights glowing, and sped off through the open doors with Syn holding on tight.

  Neci roared behind her, “No!” and scrambled for the racing two.

  38

  Above It All

  "Once Lilith saw this, she uttered the special name of God, flew off into the air, and escaped…"

  —The Alphabet of Ben Sira, 700 CE

  As she clung to Blip speeding out of the Jacob, she felt fingertips on her heel. Syn glanced back. Kerwen had leaped after, her hand dangling, her fingers waggling to grip onto Syn’s heel. Kerwen shouted, “Don’t leave me!”

  She was above it all. Flying through the air, high above the rolling dark clouds, under the scattered glare of the sunstrips. Behind her, she could hear the screams of rage and su
rprise.

  Syn yelled to Blip, “Stop!” But he didn’t hear her. Or pretended not to. Instead, the companion bot flew out and then took a sharp left, careening toward the next closest Jacob, standing just a few hundred meters away at this height.

  As Syn yelled, she gasped for air; she had been warned. There was little atmosphere at this height. There was little gravity—although there was some. She glanced back once more to Kerwen. What she saw made her heart race. She tried to yell again at Blip, but there was not enough air in her lungs to make words.

  Kerwen was already drifting down. Taji was leaning over the edge of the Jacob, arm extended to reach Kerwen and drag her back to the safety of the lift. There was no chance. She had jumped too far. She was aimless, and the slight gravity was already doing its work. It was an exponential force, and with each inch lower she drifted, the pull of gravity grew stronger. She would soon fall to her death, if she did not die of suffocation first. Syn tried to do the math. How fast would Kerwen plummet? Would she hit the ground in four minutes? Syn knew she could hold her breath for four minutes.

  Would they reach the other Jacob in four minutes? Yes—but unconsciousness was already pressing in. She was starting to black out. Her field of vision had narrowed. A haze of streaking violet occluded her peripheral. The stress and strain of holding onto Blip’s smooth surface had reduced her strength. She could hold her breath for over four minutes in perfect conditions—without pressure. Those were not the conditions she faced. She already saw spots.

  Please, get to the other access point. Please. Get in.

  Kerwen.

  Flying across the top of the Disc between Jacob towers with a world below them, the loss of a Sister consumed her decaying thoughts.

  Just days. That was all they had known each other. She stole a look back, but they were far enough away that all she saw was the dark blur on the edge of what limited vision she had—Kerwen falling slowly, gracefully to death. She pounded against Blip, but he did not relent. She wanted to save the girl, but she knew it was too late.

  Ahead, the next Jacob tower grew closer. At this height, the towers were closer together rather than the kilometer spacing at the base. They were only a few feet from an Orisha mask. This one was teardrop shaped, and there was a slight upturn in the corners of its mouth. Was it happy? From this distance, the masks were monumental in size. She felt as if she was floating by the faces of the gods. They stood there, unmoving, and a shiver ran down her back. They hadn’t helped stop the calamity on this Disc and seemed unconcerned with her now. Just like the Builders themselves.

  Would they get to it only to discover the Jacob lift was at the bottom? That the doors were closed? Would they be forced to descend like Kerwen? Blip could control their descent for a while, but at some point, gravity would overwhelm them, and they’d be pulled down with more force than he could lift. They’d die the same way Kerwen would. Stains on the surface of the dark Disc.

  The door to the Jacob slid open. Of course it would. Blip was controlling it.

  They flew through the open doors, and Blip halted in the middle of the Jacob. Syn continued on and slammed against the far side, knocking what little air she had in her out. The gravity was still slight, and she bounced from the wall across the Jacob just as the doors slid shut and the small container pressurized. She smacked the doors hard. As she floated aimless, dazed, she gasped for air. Air. There was air in the Jacob. She could breathe.

  Blip swung around and floated down to the control panel and began to interact. The Jacob stayed motionless for a moment and then, at Blip’s command, began to ascend again toward the needle.

  The gravity lessened. Syn fumbled for Blip and gave a hoarse, “Stop. No.”

  “Are you okay?” he chirped.

  Syn took another deep breath. “Go back.”

  “We are going back. To our Disc. It’s over now,” Blip said as he sidled up next to her, giving her something to lean on and orient against.

  “No! Back down!” Her voice was still faint sounds interspersed with wheezes.

  “Syn, it’s okay. We are going home. This is not our Disc.”

  “No! We have to go back for Arquella. For Huck. And Bear. For the Barlgharel.” She was finding her voice. She blinked and stared at him, her eyes begging.

  “Who?”

  “The bots! They helped me. We have to go back for them.”

  Blip’s voice grew stern. “We aren’t going back there. I should never have let you come over here. We’re going home.”

  “No! She’s going to kill them all.”

  “The bots? They are dead already. She blew them up.”

  “They’re not that stupid. They can’t all be dead. I didn’t see Arquella or Huck. Not even Bear—you can’t miss him!”

  “It’s too late! We don’t know when she’s going to blow it up.”

  “We have to try!”

  “No, we don’t. We only have a chance now to get back home. It’ll all be okay when we get through the gate.”

  “That’s what she wants us to do. She wants us to go to the gate. She’s going wait for us to try and go through! She’s too smart for that. She won’t expect us to go back down,” Syn yelled.

  “Cause it’s insane!”

  “We have to try!”

  “I already told you no.”

  “I said no!”

  “No!”

  Syn shouted at him, “No!”

  “Stop it! You’re being childish.”

  “They’re going to—"

  “Don’t say it! No more!”

  “Die!” she finished.

  “They’re just dumb bots.”

  “No they’re not! They think. They’re alive. They’re like you.”

  “I’m not like them.”

  “Just like them!”

  “I’m a companion and—" Their words began to tumble over each other’s as they refused to wait for the other to stop.

  “You selfish, little—"

  “And it’s my job to make sure you’re—"

  “Little, stupid, lying, lying, lying, lying—"

  “You’re safe! I won’t go back—"

  “Lying liar of a—"

  “Back there!”

  “A bot!”

  Then there was silence as the two faced each other, inches away, fuming. Syn was sweating, and her hands were balled into fists.

  Without any motion, Blip signaled the Jacob lift, and it slowed to a stop.

  Syn still stared, beads of sweat floating in the air around her. Through tight lips, she breathed, “I missed you.” And then she was holding him, wrapping him tightly in her arms, feeling his cold shell against her face. “I missed you! I missed you! Are you okay?” She was crying, tears floating off her cheeks to orbit them, splatting against Blip’s shell. For a long moment, she held him and then released with a final, choked, “I missed you.”

  Blip floated back a few inches and chirped, “Are you okay?”

  Syn started to answer and then paused. After a moment, her eyes darted to the ground. “No.”

  “Did they hurt you?”

  “No.” Then a moment later, “Yes.”

  Blip understood. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you.”

  “Yes.” Her voice still resonated with anger.

  “I didn’t know about all of this. I knew—"

  “You knew they were here. You knew I had sisters.”

  “They’re not sisters. They’re clones.”

  “I’m a clone?” Her words fell out softly. More sadness than rage.

  “Yes. Eves.”

  “Why?”

  “Why what?” Blip was down now at the control panel, interfacing.

  “Why did they make us? Why copy us? Is it true?” Syn had turned and floated to the window to look out, hoping for a glimpse of Kerwen. If she was out there, she was already lost in the haze and billowing smoke from the remains of Zondon Almighty.

  “What did Neci tell you?”

  “We were to be the
first ones on the planet. Just like Captain Pote said. But I thought I was the only one. That I was—"

  “Special?”

  Syn nodded and crossed her arms.

  Blip continued, “You are.”

  “I’m one of forty-two. That’s not special.”

  Blip floated higher. He hummed a simple melody. A few notes. A lullaby.

  Syn coughed on her next words, “Don’t sing that.”

  Blip stopped. An electric blue smile crept across his face.

  “Why did you do that?”

  “They didn’t get lullabies at night.”

  “That doesn’t matter.”

  “It does. You had me.”

  “They had companions.” Syn gestured toward the other Jacob lift.

  “They killed them.” There was a tone of regret in Blip’s words.

  Syn mumbled, “It doesn’t…”

  “You and I are still together. You’re the only one of them that has their companion. They did terrible things. Remember, at least one of their companions fled from them.”

  “Spot.” Syn did remember the companion that had fallen from the sky. The start to all this. It was such an anomaly. They had never seen another Blip.

  Syn turned back and stared out the window. She kept glancing toward where they had just come. Could she see Kerwen in the fog? Could she see the others? She was too far away. She knew that. She just wished…In a voice that sounded as if it was coming from far away, far outside the ship, Syn said, “What if I had…”

  “Don’t.” Blip moved back to the control panel. “I’ll take us back down.”

  Syn spun. Her eyes widened. “The bomb?”

  “We’re calling it that?”

  “What is it?” Syn asked.

  "It's a cobalt device."

  "What's that?"

  "Do you remember watching The Deserter?”

  "I don't think we finished that one."

  "Think big bomb."

  “Was that what blew up Zondon?”

  “I think so.”

  "Can we bury it?"

  Blip sighed. "Won't work."

  "Why is there a bomb on the ship at all? Did the Sisters create it?"

  "To melt ice."

  Syn stopped and stared at Blip. "Ice?" Her eyes were narrowed.