Demon Lord, Retry! Volume 1

by Kurone Kanzaki

  While he was frustrated about being roped into a fight he had nothing to do with, the Demon Lord couldn’t ignore that particular phrase.

  (Hold on... ‘Holy Maiden’...?)

  According to Aku, the Holy Maidens were three of the most powerful people in the country.

  “Miss Holy Maiden... This old man calls himself the Demon Lord! Ha ha ha ha!”

  “What!?”

  As the girl reacted, the Demon Lord was raging inside.

  (Shut up, geezer! Keep your mouth shut, you geezer! You want to die, geezer!? I’ll kick your ass, you geezer!)

  Having his plan for a peaceful resolution wrecked (on top of being called on old man, no less), the Demon Lord couldn’t help but explode:

  “You’re really hell-bent on killing your own team, huh, Own Goal? Then do it already! Have a habanero hard-boiled egg thrown in your face at the airport and die! You piece of space debris!”

  “What the hell are you... And it’s Wo Wungol! Separate the names right, you moron!”

  “Shut up, shut up, shut up!”

  The girl shouted in a tantrum after listening to this for a while. A golden ray shot out of her staff. Actually, this was what the Demon Lord was waiting for. He immediately hid himself behind the Base (opposite the corner where Aku was laying low, of course). The golden blades crashed into the Base. While their velocity dropped considerably, they didn’t die completely, allowing the blades to reach the Demon Lord.

  “Agh...”

  (This... is magic...!)

  While he instinctively covered his face with his hands, they were now in throbbing pain. In exchange for the pain, though, the Demon Lord learned a few things. The Base did, in fact, lessen the damage of magic spells. On the other hand, his most-prized armor, Assault Queller, didn’t activate.

  (I doubt this kid is over level 30...)

  Maxed-out players all had a certain aura about them. The Demon Lord didn’t even catch a glimpse of it from the girl in front of him. Still, he couldn’t deny the possibility of an even more powerful spell coming his way.

  (I had a feeling magic was bad news...)

  Beside him, Own Goal and a few of his henchmen were on the ground. As expected, the leader of the bandits seemed to take cover with a few of his own men. He was badly cut up, but still breathing. The rest of the bandits seemed to have scattered away, leaving the Demon Lord and Luna standing alone on the foothills.

  “You’re still alive...? Are you really the Demon Lord?”

  “I have a better question. What’s your excuse for attacking me out of the blue?”

  “Excuse? Why should a Holy Maiden need one to vanquish evil?”

  “Hmm. Those aren’t too shabby for your last words.”

  †　†　†

  “Last words?”

  Luna couldn’t help but scoff at the man. Throughout their encounter, his attitude was utterly unacceptable to her. Where was his piety in the presence of a Holy Maiden? Unlike the bandits, this man was considerably well-dressed. While each article of clothing seemed foreign to Luna, she noticed that they were far too well-made for a man like this. Even his gestures and movements carried a refined sense of sophistication. At first, Luna even suspected that he might have been a fallen noble. However, this theory was proven false by his complete lack of knowledge about Holy Maidens. Luna concluded that he must have been a foreigner... Come to think of it, she hadn’t introduced herself at all.

  “I am one of the Holy Maidens... Luna Elegant, the Golden.”

  She still wasn’t sure what kind of man he was. Although she didn’t suspect the Demon Lord to have a human appearance, she was well aware of how dangerous he could be. How he withstood her magic, how he materialized a building out of nowhere... Everything about this man was a mystery to her.

  Despite her introduction, the man looked as if he had bit into a lemon. What’s more, Luna could now sense a pulse of quiet rage from him. Perhaps he was a foreign terrorist, she thought.

  “A kid like you, who blasts spells at people out of the blue, has the gall to call yourself elegant? I couldn’t care less about those filthy geezers... But you could have gotten Aku hurt.”

  “Huh!? Why does a criminal like you act like he cares?”

  Apparently sensing the man’s change in energy, her guards surrounded her. Normally, she would have ordered them off to get out of her way, but she couldn’t yet tell what the man in black was capable of. The best approach, she determined, was to surround him and finish him off with a spell.

  “Capture this fool!”

  A cavalryman swung his lance at the man from atop his horse. The lance, however, didn’t reach him. Suddenly, a pitch-black wall in a honeycomb-like pattern materialized all around him, blocking the lance. Everyone seemed dazed at the mysterious phenomenon.

  “That’s too bad. It looks like you... haven’t earned the right to stand in my presence.”

  The man in black gripped the lance, and used it to lift the cavalryman off of his horse with ease. Luna blanked at the ludicrous reality in front of her. Then, the man gave the lance a carefree swish, launching the cavalryman into the distance like a thrown pebble. The man proceeded to throw the cavalrymen off of their horses one after another, until the team of twenty five guards was nowhere to be seen.

  (What... is happening...?)

  Meanwhile, Luna could only watch in shock... What could she have possibly done?

  “Ar-Are you... a giant, or something?”

  Luna had heard about a race of giants with monstrous statures, who lived in the mountain ranges far East. Rumors had it that these giants could crumble steel with their bare hands. Just as Luna was convinced that this man had some giant’s blood in him, she was hoisted up in the air...

  “H-Hey! What do you think you’re doing!?”

  Before she knew it, she was being carried under his arm.

  (Could it be... he’s going to kidnap me to do all sorts of unspeakable things...!?)

  “Let’s see if I can break the record for distance.”

  “Huh?”

  “First, I better teach you some manners, though.”

  “Wha... Wait, no no no! What are you going to do!?”

  “Man or woman... I don’t have mercy against those who dare attack me!”

  What happened next would become the most embarrassing experience of Luna’s life. The Demon Lord’s face became stern, as if he was commencing a holy ritual. Then, he raised his hand up high. When it came down onto Luna’s behind... A thunderous slap echoed into the clear sky.

  “Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!”

  Luna’s scream followed after it, but the Demon Lord didn’t relent. His expression was still as solemn as that of an orchestra conductor.

  Slap! Slap! Slap slap slap slap! Slap slap, slap slap slap slap!

  A rhythmic melody graced the mountain. It was a splendid percussion of a palm hitting butt cheeks.

  “Owwwwww! N-not my tushy, please!!”

  “One for the right hand! One for the left hand! One for both hands! Back to one for the right hand! One for this is starting to get fun!”

  The Demon Lord’s powerful spanking continued until he was no longer amused by it.

  †　†　†

  --Holylight, en route to the Holy City.

  “Phew... That was a good workout.”

  “Is-Is the Holy Maiden’s tushy okay...?”

  After executing that satisfying dose of punishment, the Demon Lord was leisurely walking along, carrying Aku on his shoulders.

  “It’s already cracked down the middle. How much worse could it get?”

  “Th-That’s not the...”

  One step further, and... no, that was already a training-video example of sexual harassment. After such blasphemy against the highest power in the nation... most would consider even burning him at the stake to be too light of a punishment. Even after putting himself in such a predicament, the Demon Lord looked cheery. From that combat (if you could call it that) he had earned some SP.


  “Think of all the things I’ll be able to do... once all the admin features are unlocked... Heh heh heh...”

  “M-Master Demon Lord... You’re scaring me a little.”

  “Now that we’ve got some change, let’s stay somewhere in town tonight!”

  The Demon Lord had robbed the Holy Maiden of all of her money as ‘compensation for emotional damages.’ He had pulled this off with a straight face, pocketing the leather bag full of coins before Aku could get a word in edgewise. First, the incessant spanking, now robbery... He was starting to prove himself as the Demon Lord. Actually, more of a bandit than anything.

  †　†　†

  “I’m going to killlll himmmmm! Just you wait!”

  Luna was groaning curses at the Demon Lord from within her carriage. The coachman’s head sunk back into his shoulders. At this rate, he worried, all of his hair might fall out by the time they would reach the capital.

  “That man... No, the Demon Lord! I’m going to get youuuuu!”

  Hearing this, all color was drained from the faces of her guards around the carriage. They didn’t seem to share her enthusiasm. How were they supposed to take on someone who withstood a Holy Maiden’s spell and threw their comrades like they were pebbles? In fact, the guards could barely follow what was happening with their eyes, let alone react. Every single one of the guards just made up their minds to never volunteer for the mission.

  “You stupid horse-driver! Go slower! It hurts my butt!”

  “I-I’m sorry!”

  The commotion caused by that man would only escalate as he inadvertently continued to earn the Demon Lord moniker... His SP was now over 100.

  Luna Elegant

  Race: Human — Age: 16

  * * *

  Weapon The Staff of Ramd

  A venerated staff, blessed by the Wise Angel. It reduces the amount of Stamina expended by the user, which is an extremely rare trait for an item in this world. Conversely, it can increase the amount of Stamina the user spends to give spells explosive power.

  Armor Congregational Robe of Ramd

  A venerated garment, blessed by the Wise Angel. It drastically increases the wearer’s Magic Defense. Luna won’t suffer a scratch from most spells out there.

  * * *

  Level: 17 — HP: ? — Stamina: ? — Attack: ? — Defense: ? — Dexterity: ? — Magic: 30(+25) — Magic Defense: 25(+25)

  * * *

  The youngest sister of the three Holy Maidens. They aren’t sisters by blood. Talented members of the Holy Church are selected to be Holy Maidens, who are treated as sisters. Luna’s talent for magic far exceeds that of her sisters. It’s chilling to think how powerful her magic could become. Her problem lies in her lack of combat experience, leaving her helpless in any unexpected situation. Luna’s extremely bratty nature was formed by her silver spoon-fed upbringing. While she plays nice in front of her sisters, she plans to overrule them all someday. The second oldest sister is Killer Queen, and the oldest is Angel White.

  A City in Another World

  ———The trading capital of Holylight, Yahooo.

  “The names of places in this country...”

  “Is there something funny about them?”

  The streets were clamoring with crowds worthy of the city’s epithet. There were no native specialties, but this town was located on the cross-sections of multiple trade routes, helping it garner goods from all around. The Demon Lord spotted some people with turbans on their heads, some warriors built like bodybuilders, and dancer girls showing most of their skin. On the other side of the street, there was an old woman performing sketchy fortune telling, and even a merchant riding a giant lizard.

  “How can people ride those things...?”

  “That’s a Sand Lizard. They’re very docile creatures.” Aku answered, cheerfully. She seemed happy to be able to teach the Demon Lord something for a change. Still, Aku’s knowledge of the city was almost nonexistent. The last time she had left her village was back when her parents were still alive. Those times were in the distant past.

  Quite a few shops adorned the main street. The colorful awnings of the booths made it seem as if there was some sort of festival taking place. There were many poor towns and villages in the countryside of Holylight, but a select few locations seemed to be as prosperous as ever.

  (I guess this is classism...?)

  The Demon Lord had the vague notion, but the class division in Holylight was atrocious, not only between towns, but between individuals, too. The ancestors of those who had fought the King of Devils alongside the Wise Angel were now nobles, basking in their lavish lives. Holylight was glued together by their religion that worshipped the Wise Angel, but there were countless rifts within the nation. Some clamored for abolishing the system of nobles, and there was even a group that lost all faith in society and resulted to worshipping devils. However, all of those civil conflicts were only possible in these lands, far from Hellion territory. In lands ruled by the Hellions, civil unrest was a luxury they couldn’t afford.

  “We’ve got money. Let’s buy something.”

  “That’s the Holy Maiden’s money, right...?”

  “What kind of Holy Maiden tries to kill people on first sight? ...She seemed to enjoy the spanking, too... She must be a Holey Woman.”

  The Demon Lord approached one of the booths, peering in at the merchandise. Some sort of meat on the grill, emanating the slight scent of black pepper. In an instant, his stomach growled. He had been surviving on the crackers stocked up in the Base. Aku loved the stuff, but it was pure torture for the Demon Lord.

  “How much are these?”

  “Three skewers for five bronze coins.”

  “Aku, which one’s the bronze coin?”

  “This one! Oh wow... There’s even a bronze medallion in here. Wait, is that what a silver coin looks like!?”

  Leaving Aku to her astonishment, he grabbed the small but ornately designed coins and handed them over to the shopkeeper.

  “It’s my treat, Aku. Eat as much as you want.”

  “Um, I know I’ve asked this already, but... That’s the Holy Maiden’s money, isn’t it...?”

  “A byproduct of self-defense. In fact, I must say my treatment of the situation was that of overwhelming compassion.”

  The Demon Lord had a point. Whatever the reason, Luna had tried to kill him. She was lucky enough that she wasn’t killed in return. The only hiccup here was that she was a Holy Maiden.

  “If this was a hentai game called, like, ‘The Holy Maiden Ensnared — I don’t want your baby!’ she would have been a sex slave, no doubt. It’s tear-jerking how compassionate I was in comparison.”

  “What’s hentai?”

  “Woah... You’re not from around here, are you? You’re wearing weird clothes to start with. Slavery’s illegal in this country. Don’t even joke about it.”

  The shopkeeper interjected. While the class division in Holylight was devastating, any and all forms of slavery was illegal. Anyone who broke that taboo would be prosecuted immediately, no matter their title.

  “You make it sound like it’s not illegal in other countries.”

  “Well, if you go up North or over East... They’re savages.”

  (Savages, huh...? One of the girls at the top of this country seemed pretty savage to me.)

  The Demon Lord kept this to himself, and instead dug into the skewered meat.

  After that, they wandered about looking for a place to stay for the night before spotting a particular inn... called ‘Gooogle.’

  “These names are just... just...”

  “You don’t like it...? I think it’s cute.”

  Aku said. While its name might have sounded strangely familiar for the Demon Lord, it was one of the best inns in Yahooo. Most commoners would have a hard time affording a night’s stay here, but the Demon Lord proudly walked up to the counter. For his first day in a strange city, nothing seemed to scare him. The Demon Lord seemed to have run out of fucks to give.<
br />
  “Innkeeper. I’ll take your best room.”

  The innkeeper was about to say something when he saw what the Demon Lord was wearing. He wasn’t familiar with the style, but he could tell that each piece was made out of exceptional materials.

  “Our best room will come to one gold coin a night...”

  “Whaaat!? We can’t afford that, Master Demon Lord!”

  “D-Demon Lord...?”

  The innkeeper picked up on the phrase when Aku yelled in protest of the astronomical price.

  “Y-You see, my name is Dee Menlurd. I’ve heard all the jokes.”

  “I-I see...”

  The innkeeper didn’t seem entirely convinced, but decided not to ask any more questions. He presumed the Demon Lord to be foreign, and chalked it up to either a foreign name or custom. Glancing at the innkeeper, the Demon Lord called Aku with the communication tool.

  I told you not to call me Demon Lord in front of strangers! Call me ‘Brother.’

  Really...? I don’t think anyone would believe that...

  Then ‘Bro,’ or ‘Cuz,’ or ‘Senpai.’ Take your pick.

  H-How about ‘Papa’...?

  Are you kidding me!? I’m a millennial!

  The fact that he proudly called himself a millennial probably proved that he was too old for Aku to call him Brother.

  “A-Anyhow... One gold coin, was it? Here.”

  He took out a gold coin from the bag and handed it over. Aku was wriggling around as the Demon Lord covered her mouth with his hand as the gleeful innkeeper showed them to their room.

  Once they were in the best room, the Demon Lord looked out the window pretentiously.

  “...The view’s not bad.”

  On the inside, he was freaking out over the extravagant interior, but he had to maintain his alpha demeanor in front of Aku.

  “W-Wow... I feel like we’re in a noble’s manor!”

  “Hmph... One of these days, I’ll build a lair worthy of my presence.”

  The Demon Lord talked a big game, but hadn’t yet considered what the ramifications would be to construct such a thing in this world. However, he wouldn’t say that he owed anything to ‘the world,’ which was such an abstract concept. Who would live their daily life worrying about the fate of their entire world? Everyone worked, ate, and slept for their own benefit. In the same way, he would try and reactivate all of his admin features for his own benefit. The end result may very well be mass destruction, or it could be salvation. At this point in time, no one knew what the future had in store for our Demon Lord...