Mended Hearts

by Tammi Lynn

  Chapter Two

  Finally Free

  Mia

  When Cade leaves I crawl back into bed and snuggle under the covers, it’s cold in here without him, but I don’t want to get up to turn on the heat because that's in the hallway. Miklo probably will, here pretty soon anyway, he’s still trying to adjust to the weather the same as I am.

  I can’t believe Andreas flew all the way up here. He said he was proving himself like I had asked. A lot of time and a lot of tears too late if you ask me. I had quickly gotten the guys to leave not wanting there to be a scene, and Dre quickly tried to say something about it but I kept changing the subject. I didn’t want to talk to him about them. They’re mine to keep and he doesn’t get to be part of that aspect of my life.

  Feeling the familiar whiplash of emotions from him going back and forth between sweet and mean had me realizing I wasn’t feeling any of the old emotions for him I once had. It was like my heart expanded in my chest, it had so much more room to breathe, to pump it’s pieced again love through its veins. Any concerns I had about lingering feelings had been removed upon actually interacting with the asshole. Last night I had just wanted to go to bed as soon as the guys left. Miklo went to his room after giving me a hug and kiss goodnight, not wanting to witness any of the reunion between his dad and me. He knew I’d be upset. Oddly I hadn’t started crying yet. I was annoyed and frustrated, but my tears had dried up for Dre.

  It wasn’t until I got to my room and called Jayson that I started crying. I was so worried they’d be mad. Now, that, was worth crying over. I was terrified that they wouldn’t want to deal with the drama and decide to ditch out like Dre had done so many times before. I felt like I couldn’t breathe waiting for them to answer. They sounded mad, and anxious. When Dre knocked and I had to hang up on them? I thought for sure we were all done. A small sliver of hope had still existed in my chest but I knew the possibility of it being broken was very real.

  Then Cade showed up.

  I can count on all of them but I know he’s always going to be the first one through the door. Out of all of them I think we understand each other the best, understand each others pain. When he came over, knowing I wouldn’t be able to sleep without him, and took me hard with Dre just on the other side of the door? I can’t even describe all of the emotions I was feeling, but it was as if I was on a high I never wanted to come down from. I only ever thought I knew what love was with Dre. But with Cade, Jayson, Roman, and Jesse? Nothing I ever felt then could compare to what I feel now.

  I eventually fall back asleep after going over the events of last night in my head. I want to sleep as much of the day away and avoid Dre as much as I can.

  ∞∞∞

  “Mom? Mommacita wake up.” Miklos’ knocking at my door and I blink awake. The clock on my nightstand says it’s eleven o’clock.

  “I’m awake.” I call out to him.

  “Get dressed. Dad wants us to show him where I go to school and go into Seattle for lunch.” That’s painless enough.

  “Okay I’ll be right out.” Getting out from under the covers I quickly put on a bra and underwear, followed by a pair of dark blue skinny leg jeans and black boots. After finding a thermal to go underneath because I know it’s going to be freezing out I put on one of Roman’s stolen black hoodies. I love his sweaters, they’re so big on me and comfortable. In the bathroom I throw my hair up into a messy top knot and brush my teeth. Looking in the mirror I look kinda badass, throwing some black eye-liner on to my armor I head out to the living room.

  It’s amazing how much your child can resemble you but then at the same time resemble their other parent too. Miklo is standing in the living room next to his dad and I can’t help but to see the similarities. They’re both tall, same smile, they move their mouths in the same way when they talk, and if anyone was wondering where Miklo got his ADHD from... that one is purely his dad. They both are constantly moving or talking. I frown, nearly smiling at our outfits. Okay it’s not funny, but kinda funny, but we are all dressed the same, black hoodies, jeans and boots. Dre’s hair is pulled back into a ponytail and Miklo has his hoodie over his curls, we look like we’re up to no good. In a way it made me sad that this couldn’t have been every day for Miklo growing up. Despite his father’s actions, I know how much he loves him and I hope he never doubts it. That balance is essential but hard as hell to maintain for separated parents.

  “‘You guys ready to go?” I grab my purse and keys.

  “Yup, let’s go, I’m starving.” Miklo leads us out the door and I lock it up behind us. I can’t help but to look over at the guys house as I walk to the truck. I can get through one day.

  After showing Dre where Miklo goes to school we drove into Seattle and we’re now at Ray’s boathouse eating some fish and chips. I’m actually having a lot of fun, I had forgotten how Dre had also been my friend once too. And he’s funny, not Jesse funny, but he still knows how to make you laugh.

  After finishing my meal, I stand up before excusing myself to the restroom. I may have also been planning to call the boys. What? I liked them… alright, love them, you get the point. Turns out I didn’t need to. I’m about to reach the restroom when a hand reaches out and grabs me, pulling me into a storage closet. I Immediately start panicking a bit.

  “Don’t scream Sweetheart, it’s me.” I can’t see for shit in here but I’d know that voice anywhere. Instantly, I relax into him as a small smile lights my lips.

  “Jayson? What are you doing here? How’d you know I’d be here?” His arms are wrapped around me and my head is on his chest. I love the way he smells, much better than the salty fishy air outside.

  I feel his chest shake with laughter. “I won’t say who it was or who did it, and we all agreed, I mean you have a habit of getting into trouble and all...”

  “Just say it.” I looked up, well I imagine I was looking at his face but it was real freakin’ dark.

  “We may or may not have installed a tracker on your phone.” His chest stops laughing like he’s holding his breath, waiting for my reaction. I mean it is stalkerish, but kinda hot too. I mean it’s just because they care and don’t want to lose me right? He lets out the breath he is holding when I just hug him tighter to me.

  Another small smile creeps over my face, “so you’re stalking me?”

  Jayson chuckles, “Yeah, I figured that was how it would seem.”

  I grin bigger, “Seem? Oh no, honey, this is totally stalking.”

  His lips press to my head as I relax into him. He’s a hot stalker.

  “What are you doing here Jayson?” Granted he worries a lot but this seems a little extreme for Jayson. He’s my only calm and rational one.

  “I didn’t get to tell you I love you too.” He kisses my forehead again, and I feel like there is more he isn’t saying. But. He did tell me he freakin’ loved me.

  “Yeah?” I tease lightly, “You could have called me.” I lift an arm and run my hand along his jaw and he leans into it. I can feel his smile against my hand and I love it.

  “Did I ever tell you the reason why Emma’s mom and me never worked out?” I shake my head no against his chest leaning into his warmth. It has been something I've wondered about.

  “She left me for her ex.” My poor Jayson. I know exactly how that type of shit feels. “One night I had caught her out. She was supposed to be visiting with her girlfriends, but when me and Emma went out to get some pizza, she was there with him. I picked Emma up and walked right back out the door and confronted her later. I moved back in with the guys that same week.”

  I absorbed what he told me and realized that Dre being back has probably been driving him nuts with worry with that part of his past. “You guys looked happy out there.” His head lowers slightly as the tone of his voice goes softer, nearly vulnerable.

  “I love you Jayson.” What more could I say? They saw how broken I was over Dre, I couldn’t imagine being put in the same position. “It’s funny because I was thinking about
how I wished he had been a real father to Miklo, like today, but that’s the thing with Dre… everything is a day. This? It is one afternoon where he has missed out on hundreds. He’s my past, you, the rest of the guys and Miklo are my future. I’m not in love with him anymore, I’m not now or ever going to leave you. Trust me, if anyone is leaving it would have to be you guys first. ” Don’t cry, don’t cry. “How could all of you only want just me?”

  Trailing a hand down my face to find my lips he runs his thumb over them followed by a kiss. “You’re more than enough Sweetheart, for all of us. I didn’t really plan on this, none of us did, but the five of us feels right. I feel more settled and content than I have in years.”

  I admittedly take a couple more minutes in the closet making out with one of my boyfriends before heading back out to the table. They don’t even mention anything about how long I’ve been gone, engrossed in conversation, although Miklo throws me a knowing smirk. I bet the little brat, their new wingman, is the one who installed the tracker for them. Kid is smart with that stuff. I’m going to have to put one on his phone and start calling him everytime he goes somewhere new. So why are you at the gas station Miklo? You don’t have a car. Oh yeah, it’s on like Donkey Kong.

  By the time we get back home after showing Dre the scenes and sights it’s already dark and getting late. I want to make sure I’m in my bedroom for the night before nine to open my window. Miklo heads straight to bed, he may almost be fourteen but he still loves Christmas morning. Sitting on the couch across from Dre I settle in for a conversation I really don’t want to have, but I know it’s coming anyway.

  “Baby, what can I do? I’m serious this time, I left her and I want you guys to come back and be with me.” He starts to get up to move closer but I put a hand up to hold him back.

  “Andreas stop. You’re only wanting what you can’t have. Because you can’t have me anymore. Had you asked or been serious about ‘us’ at anypoint these past fourteen years I’d have given everything up in a heartbeat and you know that." I've told and shown him in so many ways. "You have no idea how much pain you’ve caused me, how much turmoil and you even had me thinking I was going crazy at times. And I couldn’t lose you, even when I tried to drown you away in drinking. You’ve lost me now Dre. I finally know what it feels like to be loved back, to be enough for someone and wanted.” Here come the damn waterworks. Is there ever going to be an emotion I don’t cry through? Ugh, I’m trying to be tough here. It was awful too, because it wasn’t that I was crying because of him even, just the frustration he has put me through. Alright, I guess it is because of him. “Besides, you know you love Lisa, I know you love her. Go back to her and make things right. Treat her good Dre.”

  “This is because of those neighbors isn’t it?" He shakes his head. "I knew it, which one is it? Or is it really all of them like I thought?” Anger crosses his face and I flinch back a bit. I’ve seen him lose his temper but this almost feels different. This was the thing about Dre, you could talk for hours and hours about something and he’d only hear what he wanted. He continues with a hard tone, “You know that won’t last right? Come back to Arizona and be with me baby, you know you still love me.”

  Now I’m getting pissed and stand up, he stands as well, right in front of me and I try to turn away from him, needing space, and he grabs my arm a little too roughly. I hiss out in pain. He’s never hurt me before. “Dre, let go, your hurting me.” What the fuck is wrong with this guy? Has he lost it?

  He loosens his grip a little but not enough for me to get free. “No Ma, just talk to me, don’t run away from me again.” He leans down to kiss me and my fist flies up. I don’t even think I consciously meant to do it but I punched him right in the throat as his lips almost touched mine, making him double back and gasp for air.” What the fuck Mia?” He starts coughing a little and I step back farther away from him towards the hall.

  “I didn’t run away from you Andreas, I just finally followed my own fucking path. Don’t ever try to touch me again. You wake up with us tomorrow for Christmas morning and then you’re gone. I won’t say it again, we’re done, I’m done. I hope we can still be adults about this and co-parent Miklo but that’s as far as me and you will ever be. Goodnight Dre,”

  Not even giving him a chance to reply, I head into my room and lock the door. I’m so mad and I pace back and forth, probably wearing a trail across my carpet. I look at the clock. Only eight thirty. I had brought my purse in here when we first got home and I dig my phone out of it and shove it in my hoodie pocket. I don’t want to be here right now, there is somewhere I'd rather be. I slide my window open and after dragging my vanity chair over so I can reach I hop outside. I close it just enough to where it’s closed but not latched and head next door.

  It's so fucking freezing out here my teeth are chattering just from the short walk. Knocking on the door hurts my already frozen knuckles so I pull them up into my sleeves. I don’t have to wait long for Jayson to answer the door and he quickly pulls me into him and shuts the door behind us. “Sweetheart? What are you doing over here?” He tosses me a grin, “Not that I’m complaining.”

  I don’t say anything, just grab his hand and lead him to his room. I just want to be with them tonight, to feel them close, remind myself their real. Pushing him to sit on his bed I pull out my phone and send Cade a text. I don’t want him showing up at my house and me not answer. I could only imagine what would happen.

  Me: Stay in your room, I’ll be up in awhile.

  A reply comes back almost instantly.

  Cade: Hurry.

  Smiling I place my phone back in my hoodie and step between Jayson’s legs.

  “What are you doing Mia?” He has a grin on his face. He wasn’t expecting this.

  “Ssh.” I kiss him, sucking his bottom lip into my mouth. “Lets just…” I don’t get to finish as he grabs me behind my neck and pulls me in for a deeper kiss. He even tastes sweet. I grab his shirt and pull it over his head, running my hands over his toned chest. I should start working out with them. Ha! I mean I could try for a bit. But... they love me for who I am right? Right. I mean, wouldn’t want to change all of a sudden!

  Not breaking the kiss I reach down and untie the drawstrings on his grey sweats. Yum, by the way, what is it about grey sweatpants? Pushing him down onto the mattress I grab his waistbands and pull his boxer briefs and pants off all at once. He scoots back onto the bed further as I begin to take off my own underwear and pants. Crawling over him and straddling him I line his already hard cock up with my soaking pussy. Our little make out session got us both worked up.

  I slowly lower down onto him until I can’t take anymore, our pelvises touching. Grinding back and forth a little to create friction to my clilt and we both moan out. It feels like all the muscles in my body relax at once, and I fall forward to place my hands on his chest. He places his hands on my hips and starts guiding me up and down and back and forth in a slow almost teasing motion. Sitting back up I arch my back and place my hands on his thighs to give me leverage. Then I start riding him hard, the only noise in the room our moans and the sounds of flesh hitting flesh.

  I can feel my orgasm building and when he all of a sudden sits up and starts pounding back into me is when it explodes, I tighten around him and grab onto his shoulders, my nails digging in. Wave after wave of pleasure and I’m still coming down when with a grunt Jayson finishes inside me.

  We don’t even move for awhile, just stay there in each others arms, my head resting on his shoulder. I can feel my thighs twitching still and I need to gather myself before I can get up.

  “I wish I could keep you to myself all night but I know you’re going to head upstairs. Sweetheart, promise me just one night, just you and me? Soon?”

  Yes, yes, yes. “I promise.” Giving him a quick kiss, I slowly ease off of him and stand to put my underwear back on. “I love you, Jayson.”

  “I love you more.” Hey that’s my line. I turn to head out his door. “Hey aren’t you fo
rgetting something?” He’s holding up my pants and laughing.

  “Nope, just had to make sure I’d get to see you in the morning." I throw him a sexy wink, at least I hope it was sexy, and sashay my ass out of his room. My ass must look good because he groans watching me leave.

  I can still hear him laughing before I reach the stairs. Man I missed this. Yes I’ll always miss being with my guys no matter if we’re only apart for minutes, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I miss walking around the house in my underwear. It was one of my favorite things when I was single and had my own place, and even when Miklo was really young. Nothing more freeing than being this comfortable in your own home. I mean this isn’t my home but… Oh, you know what I mean.

  When I get to the top of the stairs I can hear talking coming from Jesse’s room. Peeking in I see him and Roman sitting at the edge of his bed each with a controller in their hands and their eyes fixated on a tv screen. Boys. Walking in Roman sees me and drops his controller, trailing his eyes up and down my bare legs.

  “What the hell asshole you let me… Fuck Beauriful, you look sexy as hell.” Jesse turns to see me as well and put his controller on the floor.

  They both stand and walk over to me, hugging me in one big sandwich. My favorite sandwich. Roman is behind me and he’s trailing his fingers under my hoodie and over my stomach. Just that light touch already has my body heating up. Lifting the hem of my sweater up, Jesse lifts it over my head and tosses it to the floor. I lean back against Roman and he starts trailing his hands up and down my arms as Jesse starts to remove his clothes.

  “What the fuck? What is this?” Roman spins me around and gently places his fingers to a still darkening bruise forming on my forearm where Dre had grabbed me. You can kinda tell it looks like a hand gripping. “Did he do this to you?” He doesn't even have to say Dre's name, I know who he's referring to.

  “What the fuck Rome? What is it?” Jesse leans over me and looks to where Roman has his hands. “Shit.”