Always the One

by Tara Randel

  “I get that, but it doesn’t change how I feel.”

  “It should.”

  He moved closer. “I want to help you and your mom any way I can.”

  “Help?” Her voice rose again and broke off with a croak. “You’re why we’re here in the first place.”

  “You alluded to that but I’m not making the connection.”

  “Those gems? The ones I asked you not to tell anyone about? They were my father’s downfall.” She fisted her hands on her thighs. “Because you told your father.”

  “But not to get your dad in trouble. I was concerned when I heard your father on the phone begging someone to leave his business alone. I just asked my dad some questions.”

  “And as police commissioner, he called the proper authorities.”

  His expression didn’t change but his eyes wavered.

  “You knew,” she said.

  “Suspected. But I didn’t want to believe it was related to your leaving.”

  “We ran in the middle of the night, Derrick. Only had time to pack our barest belongings. Lived in a motel somewhere for weeks until my father went to court. Then we were given new identities. Started over in Illinois before moving multiple times since.” The weight of the years pressed on her. “Now my mother is sick. How does that seem right or fair?”

  He reached for her hand, paused for a long, drawn-out moment, and pulled back. Disappointment swept over her. After years apart, did she still want Derrick to comfort her?

  His astute gaze roamed her face. “Why did you shoot me with pepper spray?”

  “I had this feeling I was being watched. The one thing they don’t tell you when you become part of WITSEC is that you’re always looking over your shoulder. You never feel completely comfortable or let your guard down.” She shook her head. “I tend to be a bit suspicious anyway and my overreaction this afternoon proves it.”

  “Has something happened to make you jumpy?”

  “Not recently. Like I said, I’m overly attuned to my surroundings. I was right in being concerned, but since it was you, not some bad guys, I made a mistake.”

  “Somehow I don’t think that happens often.”

  She briefly met his gaze and looked away. “So now what?”

  “If you’re still concerned about your safety, I can help. I have contacts through my job.”

  “Which is?”

  “I’m an FBI special agent.”

  She closed her eyes and groaned. “I don’t want any more help from government agencies.”

  “Then how about from an old boyfriend?”

  It would be so easy to fall into his arms. Let him carry the burdens she’d been laboring with for so long. Go back to the days when the biggest decision she had to make was what color lip gloss to use or which jeans to wear. As much as she might want the reprieve, it wasn’t possible. This was her reality now. Not glamorous or flashy, but she had a good job. A few friends she trusted. Her mother would get well. She had to.

  Squaring her shoulders, she met Derrick’s gaze. Recognized that look. The one that said “I’ll take care of everything for you.” Yeah, well where was he when she’d needed him? When she’d been scared to death the night the US Marshals took them from the only home she’d ever known? When her father left, thinking his absence was the best solution for all of them? When she’d had to change her mother’s name and her own and find yet another job in a new city? Or when she’d cried alone at night after her mother’s diagnosis?

  Did he think he could just show up out of the blue and things would go back to the way they were? After he’d changed the entire trajectory of her life because he’d posed questions when she’d asked for his silence? Yes, they’d been children back then. Their dreams had been just that, dreams. But she’d needed him when the world was falling down around her, when things were off-kilter and scary, and he was nowhere to be found. She’d learned to forget the past, then carve out an existence without the heaviness of memories weighing her down. So why did he think she needed him now? She’d taken care of her mother alone. Put her dreams aside to make a stable life for both of them. And now, with her mother’s diagnosis, they couldn’t leave Dark Clay until they knew for sure the cancer was gone.

  So no, he didn’t get a free pass to barge into her life, with his list of questions and offer to make things right.

  She met his gaze dead-on and said the words sure to keep him at bay. “I don’t think my boyfriend would appreciate your assistance.”

  CHAPTER THREE

  “BOYFRIEND?”

  “You didn’t think my life stopped because you were no longer in it, did you?” Hannah asked, the heat of her words scorching her tongue.

  “Well, no. I...”

  For once he was speechless. Good, because she couldn’t deal with the torrent of emotions racing through her right now.

  “Jonathan?”

  She blinked. “How...”

  “Your mother mentioned him when she first came into the living room.”

  Right. So much had transpired since they got to her house, she didn’t remember her mother mentioning her boyfriend’s name.

  “He owns an art gallery in Carson City.”

  “So you’re still interested in paintings?”

  “It’s not like I have the time to indulge my interest, but yes.”

  “I always thought you’d work in a museum.”

  “Obviously that would have been in another life.”

  Annoyance crossed his face. “Yes, we’ve established you’re mad at me.”

  She pinched the bridge of her nose. “You seriously caught me off guard. And now we’re sitting around like long-lost friends bringing each other up to date when I never expected to see you again. It’s surreal.”

  “I get that you’re off-balance. I’ve been the same way since the package arrived.”

  She folded her arms on the table and rested her forehead on top, at a total loss for words. Was this really happening? And why did she keep noticing those wide shoulders of his and that lopsided smile that still left her a bit breathless. Surely she should have gotten over her first love...right? Especially when he’d blown up her life once already.

  “I guess I thought small talk might ease the shock.”

  She lifted her head. “At this point, I’m numb.”

  “Sounds like you have a lot on your plate.”

  Her hackles rose at his statement. “I can handle it.”

  “Didn’t say you couldn’t. It’s just an observation.”

  Those pesky tears she kept blinking back made an untimely appearance. She shook them off. “What do you want, Derrick?”

  “To make sure you and your mom are okay.”

  “Tall order.”

  “Good thing I’m a tall guy.”

  Biting back a grin, she rose. Wasn’t it just like Derrick to make jokes in a tense situation? He’d always had a quick sense of humor. It had been one of the qualities that drew her to him the most. Some things never changed...including her feelings? Impossible.

  “I’ve been taking care of us for years, Derrick, without anyone’s help.”

  “Point taken. But I have time off. If you’d—”

  “We’ve been perfectly fine, and will be, without you.”

  “Hannah,” came a strained voice from the living room, cutting through the tension simmering between them.

  “I need to check on Mom.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  With a resigned sigh, she went to the other room only to return to the kitchen with her mother’s teacup. “Mom dozed off and when she woke up her tea had gone cold. The day after chemo she sleeps a lot.” Hannah dumped the tepid remains and refilled the cup with steaming water from the kettle. She glanced at the clock, hoping Derrick would leave soon so she could rest. After everything that
had gone on today, she needed time to organize her thoughts and suppress her wayward emotions for a man she’d vowed to forget. “I suppose I should get dinner started,” she said mostly to herself, trying to hide the exhaustion that never seemed to go away. She shook off her fatigue, not wanting Derrick to feel sorry for her.

  She returned the cup to her mother who seemed more awake now. “I’ll fix you something else to eat.”

  “I’m not hungry.”

  “Mom...”

  “I’m also not twelve. If I don’t want to eat, I won’t.”

  “You need to keep up your strength.”

  “Tomorrow. I’ll feel better then.”

  Hannah blinked back hot tears. She knew not to push. Tomorrow would be here soon enough. She bent down to kiss her mother’s cheek. “I love you, Mom.”

  “Back at ya,” her mother teased with their little catchphrase, and what Hannah thought might be a cocky grin.

  “I’m cooking anyway.”

  Her mother rolled her eyes. “Help us all.”

  A laugh escaped Hannah, sounding hoarse and rusty to her own ears. She turned to go back to the kitchen but stopped short in the entryway. Surprisingly, Derrick was at the stove.

  “What’re you doing?”

  He glanced over his shoulder. “You said you wanted to get dinner started.”

  “Me. Not you.”

  He grinned. “First come, first serve.”

  “You sound juvenile.”

  “And you look beat. Sit down and let me worry about the meal.”

  She had to admit, letting someone else cook tonight was fine with her. She sank onto the chair.

  “What smells so good?”

  “I found leftover chicken in the fridge, pasta and sauce in the pantry.”

  Despite the crazy day, her stomach growled.

  “You cook as well as solve crimes?”

  He stirred the sauce, then turned to face her. “I live alone. It’s either learn to cook or order a lot of takeout.”

  He lived alone? Why did that tidbit fascinate her, even when it shouldn’t? It wasn’t like she was dying to know what he’d been doing in the years they’d been apart. Okay, she was lying to herself, but there was no way she was going to broadcast her curiosity.

  She rose to gather plates and glasses from the cupboard and set the table for three, even though she was sure her mother would decline. “Sit, please,” he insisted again, then placed a small portion of plain chicken and noodles on a plate to carry to the other room. “Should I add sauce?” he asked. At her head shake, he left, returning empty-handed. She raised a brow.

  “Mom took it?”

  “I’m very persuasive.”

  How well she remembered. When they were kids, he’d managed to talk her into one adventure after another. She was a stickler for doing things the right way, but he’d been able to coax her to the dark side a time or two. Well, not dark, exactly, but definitely gray in her world.

  Like prom night. He’d picked her up in his run-down car, promising an evening she’d never forget. She’d laughed, excited about the final high school dance. They’d stayed for an hour before Derrick rushed her back to the car and they drove to the ocean. It was there, sitting on a blanket in the sand under a full moon, that he gave her a promise ring he’d saved up to buy with money from his part-time job at the pizza place. The tiny chip of a diamond had glittered in the moonlight. It could have been as big as a carat for all she cared, but the fact that he’d picked it out touched her heart.

  Even though it was years ago, she’d occasionally dreamed about her time with Derrick and woken with a sense of loss she found difficult to shake.

  Derrick dished out the amazing-smelling concoction. She picked up her fork and twirled the sauce-covered pasta before taking a taste. “If you get her to eat even a tiny bit, that’s more than I can do.”

  “It’s been tough?”

  “Lately. Once she gets her strength back I have no doubt she’ll run circles around me.” She took a bite and nearly groaned out loud. “This is amazing.”

  “And it’s from a jar. Imagine if I made it from scratch.”

  She couldn’t. If she had her way, he wouldn’t be around that long.

  “What happened to your dad, if you don’t mind my asking?”

  He pushed aside his fork and she thought she saw him grimace. “He wasn’t feeling good one morning. Got up and went to work, but during the day he keeled over. It was an aneurism.”

  Hannah’s voice was quiet when she said, “I don’t think you’re ever prepared whether the end happens suddenly or if an illness is drawn out.”

  “How long has your mom been sick?”

  “Feels like forever, but it’s actually been a few months. She started coughing one day and it persisted. I talked her into seeing a doctor and, long story short, they found a spot on her lungs. After the surgery and subsequent treatment, we’re hoping for positive results.”

  He covered her hand with his. The warmth radiated up her arm and straight to her heart. Okay, there was still a tangible connection to Derrick that hadn’t seemed to lessen, but no way would she trust him. Look what had happened because of that misguided belief.

  Slowly easing her hand from his, she took another bite. A frown marred his forehead but he didn’t press the issue.

  “So,” he said instead. “You’re a teacher.”

  “Elementary. Fourth grade. Ponderosa Day School is private, so it helps to keep my visibility low.”

  “I never would have pegged you as the teacher type.”

  “Why not? I tutored you in art history.”

  “Which I sat through because I wanted to be with you, not learn about old paintings.”

  “I can’t work in a museum. Too high profile.”

  “Because someone might recognize you?”

  She tamped down the old resentment. “We were discouraged from any kind of job that might put us in a spotlight. Teaching, even if it should be given more attention, is never highly publicized.”

  “It’s a noble profession.”

  “I do enjoy the children. Ten-year-olds are quite imaginative.” She pushed the pasta around on the plate. “You?”

  “I work with the Art Crime Team out of DC.”

  She blinked.

  “Hey, those lessons paid off,” he said.

  Envy swept over her, swift and hard. He got to be around artwork? Her dream job? Well, not the crime aspect, but being part of that world. Touching masterpieces. Showcasing new artists. Being in the glamorous world of high-end art. He got to have that job while she’d ended up on the run.

  He must have mistaken her silence with the end of the topic—more like she was incredulous at his career choice—and switched the conversation back to her.

  “So you’re okay with your job?” he asked.

  Was she? It was hardly her dream career, but it was all she knew. “Content.”

  A pause. Then, “And you’re serious about this guy you’re seeing?”

  “I don’t think that’s an appropriate question.”

  “Why not? I’m trying to catch up.”

  “Yes. We’re serious.” She ran her thumb over her left ring finger. Derrick saw the motion and froze.

  “You’re not wearing a ring,” he said.

  “It’s on my dresser.”

  He laid down his fork and sat back in the chair. A wounded look flashed in his eyes before disappearing.

  “I have every right to date, be engaged if I want.”

  “I’m not saying you can’t, I just...”

  “Thought I’d pine over you forever?” She rose, took her plate and tossed the remains in the garbage. “You have a lot of nerve—”

  The doorbell stopped her midtirade. She placed her dish in the sink and hurried to the door. Lynny Dunlo
p, her best friend and coworker who lived down the street, stood on the other side, a bright smile on her face.

  “Your mother called. Said she and I should have a movie night.” She held up a DVD. “She told me you had an old friend in town and needed to catch up, so I’m here to keep her company.”

  Hannah suppressed a groan. It was obvious her mother wanted to give her and Derrick some time alone.

  “Come on in.” As she shut the door, Hannah shot her mom a chagrined look. Her mother simply smiled.

  “Brought Mama Mia!” Lynny said as she shrugged out of her heavy coat.

  “Perfect,” Sofia said as Hannah spoke at the same time.

  “Which isn’t necessary,” Hannah added. “He’s not staying.”

  “He?” Lynny asked, full-blown interest lighting up her elfin features.

  It figured that would be the one word her friend would pick up on. Derrick chose that moment to stroll into the living room.

  “And this must be him,” Lynny said, shooting Hannah a raised eyebrow.

  Yes. Derrick was ridiculously handsome. Anyone with eyes could see that.

  Derrick walked over and held out his hand. “Derrick.”

  “Lynny. Hannah’s BFF.”

  Hannah bit the inside of her cheek.

  “Who was helping me to the bedroom,” Sofia interrupted as she tried to rise from the chair. Lynny hurried over to assist.

  “We’ll leave you two alone,” Lynny said, winking at Hannah as the women disappeared down the hallway.

  Hannah loved Lynny, really she did. They’d met a few days after Hannah and her mother had moved into the neighborhood. She was also instrumental in getting Hannah a position at Ponderosa Day School. Between Lynny’s sunny disposition and habit of getting her own way, she’d been responsible for prodding Hannah out of the house more times than Hannah could count. It was on one of their impromptu outings that Hannah had met Jonathan and was now engaged.

  She glanced down at her ringless finger. Could this day get any more weird? Derrick had to leave before she lost her head and said things that she would regret. Like admitting she had lingering feelings for him. Which she shouldn’t because she had a fiancé. A man who had been there for her when she needed him. Who hadn’t betrayed her, despite the fact that she’d been up-front when she’d told him she couldn’t reveal her past. A man who was steady and dependable. Who didn’t show up and demand answers.