The Naughtiest Unicorn on a School Trip

by Pip Bird

  ‘Stop it, you guys, that tickles!’ Darcy giggled, trying to stop one of the kitticorns licking her ear.

  Dave chose that moment to do a massive poo right next to Darcy, which spooked the kitticorns and made them run off.

  ‘Phew, thanks, Dave,’ said Darcy, brushing pastel-coloured fur off her jumper. ‘That was a bit much.’

  ‘Why do they like you and not me?’ asked Mira. She took out her portable poo shovel and miserably cleaned up Dave’s poo.

  ‘What can I say?’ asked Darcy, with a flick of her hair. ‘I have a magnetic personality.’

  Even Jake was cuddling a kitticorn now. Mira had never seen him so happy! The kitticorn cuteness had got to him, too. Mira felt really left out.

  Raheem checked his watch. ‘We should return the chickicorn and get back to the bus. Let’s get these kitticorns back to the nest.’

  Mira hung back while the others rounded up the kittens and put them safely back into the caticorn’s nest. The mother soon settled down happily next to them.

  ‘Let’s head back to the chickicorn barn!’ said Jake, still grinning from his kitticorn cuddle.

  Mira took one last, sad look at the nest. The four little rainbow kitticorns were settling down in a sleepy way. But the mother caticorn was looking around in a worried way . . .

  ‘Wait!’ said Mira.

  ‘You’ve already tried to make them like you,’ said Darcy impatiently. ‘You’ve just got to let it go.’

  ‘No,’ said Mira. ‘The golden kitticorn isn’t in the nest!’

  The mother caticorn was pacing around now and meowing loudly, calling for her missing baby. Mira swallowed guiltily. She’d been so focused on trying to cuddle the kitticorns that she’d forgotten Bruce said that caticorns were easily scared. She hadn’t been very careful at all!

  They looked everywhere around the bins and the pigicorn pens, for any tiny little space the kitticorn could have run into. The mother caticorn’s meows were getting louder and more worried. They strained their ears, but they couldn’t hear the kitticorn anywhere.

  What they did hear was a loud scratching sound. Dave was by the Doglark tree, scratching his bum on the trunk.

  ‘Oh, Dave, you could at least help!’ said Mira crossly.

  Dave stopped. And then he ran backwards at Mira and swooshed his tail in her face.

  ‘PAH!’ said Mira, trying to push Dave’s tail away. ‘Stop it!’

  Then Dave ducked his head and started running in and out of Mira’s ankles. The two of them got tangled up and fell to the ground.

  ‘What are you doing, Dave?’ said Mira helplessly. ‘We’ve got to find the kitticorn – we don’t have time for mucking around!’

  Dave sighed, then dropped to the ground on his back. He waggled his hooves in the air, and then pointed straight upwards.

  Mira looked up.

  There, on the tallest branch of the tallest tree on the farm, was the golden kitticorn.

  ‘Great,’ said Darcy. ‘So now we’ve stolen a chickicorn AND got a kitticorn stuck up a tree.’

  ‘AND we could miss the bus home!’ said Jake crossly.

  Mira felt a tear roll down her cheek. She’d been so excited to come to BARCC and meet all the animals and learn about the farm and make best friends with a kitticorn. And win an awesome quest medal. But it had all gone wrong. She sniffed and wiped her nose on her sleeve.

  Raheem, Darcy and Jake were all calling up to the kitticorn. Jake was even making mewing sounds. But the golden kitticorn was very high up in the tree, and didn’t seem like it was going to move any time soon.

  Mira looked for Dave. She wanted to say sorry for not realising that he’d been trying to tell her where the kitticorn was. But she couldn’t see Dave anywhere!

  She realised then that she hadn’t really been paying Dave much attention on this trip at all. All she had thought about were kitticorns. Dave must know she didn’t love kitticorns more than him, she thought. He was her UBFF ! But then she remembered Dave’s sad expression at the picnic. Maybe he DID think she loved kitticorns more – and maybe that was why he’d gone!

  Mira started looking frantically around. The others were helping the kitticorn.  She needed to find Dave.

  ‘Here kitty, kitty, kitty!’ called Darcy. ‘Come on down! We promise Mira won’t try to stroke you again!’

  ‘Dave!’ Mira called. ‘Dave, where are you? I’m sorry, Dave, come back!’

  Just as Mira started to panic, she heard the sound of hooves thudding through the sparklecorn behind her. She turned around and saw Dave running as fast as his little legs could carry him. He had Mira’s lunchbox in his mouth.

  ‘You came back!’ Mira gave her unicorn a huge hug. Dave was out of breath from running so fast.

  ‘I didn’t notice he was gone,’ asked Jake. ‘More importantly, how are we going to get this kitticorn down from this massive tree?’

  Dave dropped the lunchbox on the ground. A packet of custard creams fell out.

  ‘I thought you ate them all – oh! Dave! You’re actually a genius!’ Mira gasped. She gave him another hug and the little unicorn blushed.

  ‘I don’t get what’s happening,’ said Jake. ‘Why is Dave a genius?’

  Mira grinned widely. ‘Kitticorns love custard creams! Quick, let’s see if we can persuade this little one to come down.’

  Mira took a custard cream out of the packet and held it out for the golden kitticorn to see. Sure enough, the kitticorn crept to the edge of a branch and then climbed down a couple of branches.

  ‘Yay! Keep going!’ Darcy started clapping.

  The kitticorn kept jumping down. Then it suddenly slipped. Mira’s heart was in her mouth as it dangled from a high branch, mewing pitifully.

  ‘We have to help it!’ Jake cried. He jumped up but couldn’t reach the branch. He stood on Pegasus’s back and tried to reach again.

  ‘It’s still too high for you,’ said Darcy.

  ‘Yes, thanks, that’s really helpful,’ Jake muttered with a frown. ‘Come on, Mira. I need your help. Climb up on my shoulders.’

  Mira hung back. ‘But it doesn’t like me! Can’t someone else do it?’

  ‘I’m too scared,’ said Raheem.

  ‘And I’m taking a picture. Smile!’ Darcy held up her phone for a group pic.

  Mira took a deep breath. She knew she had to help the kitticorn. After all, if she hadn’t disturbed the nest the kitticorn wouldn’t be stuck up the tree in the first place!

  Dave nuzzled her arm and gave an encouraging fart. It was just what Mira needed.

  ‘Thanks Dave,’ she said gratefully.

  With the packet of custard creams between her teeth, Mira started to clamber up on to Pegasus’s back. Dave gave her a helpful shove with his muzzle. Carefully, she climbed on to Jake’s shoulders. Wobbling slightly, she stretched out her arm. She still couldn’t reach the kitticorn.

  ‘I think we need Dave!’ she called down.

  ‘Does it have to be Dave?’ said Jake, but Mira’s plump little UBFF was already climbing on to Pegasus, doing little farts with the effort. Pegasus looked pained.

  Dave eventually climbed on to Mira’s shoulders. She passed him the custard creams and he reached up his hoof. The kitticorn hung upside down, looking at Dave and blinking. Mira could see that it was so scared it didn’t know what to do.

  ‘Come on!’ Mira pleaded.

  Dave farted one more time.

  Startled, the kitticorn let go of the branch, fell on to Dave’s nose and wrapped its tiny paws around Dave’s horn. The chickicorn popped its head out of Dave’s mane and cheeped. The kitticorn squeaked and jumped, sliding off Dave and down into Mira’s arms.

  The kitticorn was so surprised that it lay completely still in Mira’s arms for a moment. Its fur was super-soft and its little heart was beating quickly. It smelled of warm grass and custard creams. Despite being balanced on Jake’s shoulders and a long way from the ground, Mira felt a moment of total bliss.

  Then the kittic
orn ran down her legs and off Jake’s back. With one big leap from Pegasus’s bottom, it scampered away behind the pigicorn pens and back into its nest.

  Dave and Mira climbed down more carefully.

  Darcy and Raheem gave them all a round of applause. Mira high-fived her friends and pulled Dave close for a huge hug.

  ‘You’re the best, Dave,’ she whispered in her unicorn’s fluffy ear. ‘Come on Team Awesome, let’s get that chickicorn back and go home.’

  MEEOW!

  Mira turned to see the entire caticorn family standing in a line, staring at her. Before she could say ‘uh-oh’, the adorable kitticorns ran in and out of her ankles, purring. Then they all dropped to the ground and flailed their legs in the air, allowing her to tickle their tummies, before disappearing back behind the bins.

  ‘Are you about to cry again?’ asked Darcy.

  There was a big lump in Mira’s throat as she smiled. ‘My books says when they do that, it means they REALLY like you!’ she said.

  ‘Honestly?’ said Darcy. ‘More than when they give you loads of cuddles and kisses like they did for me and Jake?’

  Raheem coughed. ‘Let’s just get to the chickicorn barn, shall we?’

  Mira thought Dave would be a bit tired after all the excitement, so she gave him some more custard creams for energy (after leaving some by the compost bin for the caticorn family to enjoy later).

  When they reached the chickicorn hatching barn, Mira slid the barn door open. All the chickicorns were sitting happily in their nests and cheeping. Mira picked up the chickicorn from Dave’s mane and dropped it carefully into one of the rainbow-straw hatching nests.

  ‘There you go!’ she said brightly. ‘Just like Dave’s mane. But better!’

  The chickicorn looked up at her. Quick as a flash it jumped out of the straw and hopped back up on to Dave’s head.

  CHEEP!

  Mira tried again and again and again, but each time the chickicorn jumped back on to Dave and burrowed into his mane.

  Then Mira got Dave to stand outside the barn. She picked up the chick, ran into the barn, put it down, raced back out as fast as she could, slid the barn door shut and returned to Dave. He hung his head and snuffled.

  Mira gave his ears a tickle. ‘Aww, I know you liked that chick, Dave. But don’t worry, it will always be right here.’ Mira pointed to his heart.

  ‘No, it won’t,’ said Darcy.

  ‘Sshh!’ said Mira. ‘I’m trying to make Dave feel better!’

  ‘Yes, but the chickicorn is back.’

  Darcy pointed. Sure enough, there was the little fluffy blue chick, perhed on top of Dave’s big round bottom.

  ‘Argh! We’ve got to get back!’ cried Mira. ‘What are we going to do? THIS is your home, little chickicorn!’

  Darcy was inspecting her nails. ‘The trouble is that the chickicorn thinks Dave is home,’ she explained. ‘The chick jumped on him as soon as it hatched. It thinks that Dave is its mum.’

  ‘That’s it!’ cried Mira. ‘Darcy, you’re a genius!’

  ‘Well, duh,’ said Darcy, fluffing her hair. ‘Why this time in particular?’

  Mira raced back into the barn. ‘There you are!’ she said, scooping up a sad-looking, light-blue henicorn with a bent horn. ‘There’s someone you need to meet.’

  Cluck cluck cluck.

  The chickicorn popped its head up from Dave’s tail.  Cheep?

  Cluck!

  Cheep! CHEEP!

  The henicorn hopped out of Mira’s arms just as the chickicorn slid down Dave’s tail. They ran towards each other in a flurry of clucks and cheeps.

  The chickicorn had found its real mum!

  Mira really was proud of Dave. She knew it was always hard saying goodbye to your friends. She hated saying goodbye to Dave when she left Unicorn School, but at least she knew she was always coming back soon. She gave her UBFF an extra big pat as they all raced back through the sparklecorn field.

  Riding beside Mira, Raheem looked glum.

  ‘Are you okay?’ Mira asked.

  Raheem shrugged. ‘I just would have liked to finish the quest.’

  ‘We still had three more answers to find. It was really hard,’ Mira consoled her friend.

  ‘Actually we found two more,’ said Raheem. ‘“What hisses but is not a snake” was kitticorns, and “what has a bark but no bite” was the Doglark tree.’

  ‘Whoa!’ said Darcy. ‘We finished the quest and you didn’t say anything?’

  ‘Raheem, that’s awesome!’ said Jake.

  Raheem shook his head. ‘No,’ he said. ‘We still have the last riddle to solve.’

  Jake stopped suddenly. ‘Where is everyone?’

  ‘We’ve missed the bus!’ Raheem started to panic.

  ‘Chill, they’re in the – ARGH!’ Darcy pulled Star up so quickly that the others bumped into her.

  Mira started panicking now. ‘What’s wrong? Have they gone without us?’

  ‘No,’ said Darcy. ‘Nobody told me there was a gift shop! There’s no time to waste!’

  They all galloped towards the shop in the visitor centre, where they could see the rest of Class Red choosing pencils and rubbers and cuddly horned toys. Mira breathed a sigh of relief as they joined their classmates. They’d returned the chickicorn, met lots of kitticorns and hadn’t missed the bus home. Phew!

  Miss Glitterhorn was upstairs in the café, surrounded by empty teacups and reading a book. She looked happier than she had in ages.

  Seb and his unicorn, Firework, were trying out all the rainbow-coloured art pencils. Jake and Pegasus bought matching skull-and-crossbone rainbow badges. Darcy and Star trotted past wearing feather boas and unicorn-horn headbands, heading for the lift to the café. Raheem was showing Brave the books about animal facts. And Flo was squealing with delight at all the cuddly toys.

  Mira left Dave at the café having a large hot chocolate (with extra marshmallows) and headed downstairs again to join Flo.

  ‘Mira, I can’t decide which kitticorn to get! Do you like the pink one or the lavender one?’ Flo was holding up two kitticorn cuddly toys. ‘OR should I get this life-size lambicorn OR this slothicorn? I just can’t decide!’

  Mira laughed. ‘They’re all super cool.’ She reached into a basket of toy chickicorns and rummaged around until she found a pale blue one. She smiled. She knew Dave would love it.

  Bruce Hasselhoof appeared at the gift-shop doorway. He looked different. His eyes were a bit wild and his hair was standing up all over the place. Mira wondered if Class Red were more energetic than their usual visitors.

  ‘Who did it?’ Bruce cried.

  ‘Who did what?’ asked Freya.

  ‘The field . . . my . . . sparklecorn, it’s . . . it’s all . . . hoof-marks . . . flattened!’

  ‘Bruce, you’re not making any sense,’ said Freya.

  Miss Glitterhorn stormed down the stairs from the café. ‘Who on EARTH flattened the sparklecorn field?’ she shouted. ‘Class Red, this is unacceptable.’

  Miss Glitterhorn did not look relaxed any more. Mira gulped. They’d only flattened one square metre, she thought. Although they had trotted back and forth through the sparklecorn several times . . .

  ‘Hey! We made a maze!’ Darcy yelled from upstairs.

  Everyone looked up at Darcy on the café balcony. She waved at them to join her. Bruce Hasselhoof took the stairs two at a time. Class Red followed a little more slowly. Miss Glitterhorn looked at the lift, but it was full of unicorns, so she climbed the stairs too. Soon everyone was on the café balcony, looking out at the flattened sparklecorn field.

  Mira’s throat felt dry. They had flattened a LOT more corn than she realised.

  Bruce cleared his throat. ‘This is unbelievable.’

  Miss Glitterhorn put her hands on her hips. ‘Darcy, Mira, Raheem and Jake. What have you been doing? Have you damaged BARCC property? If I find that you ran away from Bruce’s carefully planned awesome activities, then there will be consequences! As Bruce sai
d, that sort of behaviour is totally unacceptable!’

  ‘No, no,’ said Bruce faintly. ‘I said it was unbelievable. Not unacceptable. There was a maze here back when I completed the quest, but it got overgrown. I’ve wanted another one ever since.’

  ‘So for a million years,’ said Darcy.

  Bruce ignored Darcy. ‘Mazes are amazing !’ he said in delight.

  Miss Glitterhorn didn’t know what to say, so Darcy quickly started three cheers for the new maze before she could tell them off.

  Raheem rummaged in his backpack. He pulled out the quest checklist and cleared his throat.

  ‘Um, Mr Hasselhoof ? I think we’ve sort of completed the quest.’

  The rest of Class Red gasped. Bruce and Miss Glitterhorn hurried over and looked at their checklist. Raheem explained how they’d found the answers to the first four riddles.

  ‘And then, number five is “An amazing sight inside which you cannot see”,’ he continued. ‘Well, you just said that our maze in the sparklecorn field is “amazing” and we couldn’t see it when we were inside it.’

  ‘Wonderful work!’ Bruce was ecstatic. ‘That question must be left over from when we had the old maze. No wonder no one ever completed the quest. But you DID!’ His face fell. ‘Oh, but there are no quest medals. No one’s completed it for so long that we just stopped keeping them in stock.’

  Darcy gave Mira a nudge. ‘I’m sorry, Mira. I know you love medals.’

  Mira hugged her friend. ‘You know what?’ she said. ‘Today was so awesome it doesn’t need a medal.’

  ‘NO, WAIT!’ Bruce dashed off. He came back a minute later holding a welly from the welly station with ‘BARCC Medal’ written on it in mud. ‘You can take this as a trophy of your excellence.’

  Jake snatched it off Bruce before anyone else could get their hands on it. ‘As unofficial quest leader, I think I deserve to keep this,’ he said.