After Dark

by Olson, Yolanda

  “I—I can’t,” she cries.

  I stop moving altogether, but I don’t remove my hands. A tear escapes from the corner of her eye.

  “No!” she pants.

  “What?” I ask and give her a few seconds to answer. “What did you say no for?”

  “Because,” more tears drip down onto her cheeks.

  “Because why? Don’t hold back. You can tell me anything, there is no one here who is going to judge you for it.”

  “Because it felt good,” she whispers.

  “What’s that? I couldn’t really hear you.”

  “Because it felt good,” she says a little louder.

  “I almost heard you that time. Say it again?”

  “Because it felt good you son of a bitch!” she screams and a sob breaks loose.

  “Ohh… that’s what I thought you said.”

  I start once more, moving at the same speed where I left off. She begins to pant beneath me. I can tell she’s close and it makes me soar. This is what I needed. I needed to be with someone who appreciates me. Someone who wants my touch.

  I can tell that she’s getting very close to an orgasm and I decide I want to hear her say it again.

  “Tell me again, how does this feel?”

  “It feels good.”

  “I need more than that. How good?”

  “It feels really good.”

  “Has anyone else ever made you feel good like this?”

  “No,” she admits, panting harder. I’m not sure if she’s being truthful. I’d seen her walking around campus several times with the same guy. Are they a couple? I begin to slow my motions.

  “No? Are you telling me the truth?”

  “Yes…” she’s panting harder now. “That’s the truth!”

  “I don’t know if I believe you. Who is that guy that I see you with at school? You’re together a lot. Is he your boyfriend?” I slow down a little more and she lets out a frustrated groan.

  “He’s just a good friend, I swear,” she begins to sob again and I realize she’s telling me the truth. I stop moving.

  “Do you have any idea how happy that makes me?”

  “Very happy…” she answers, still sobbing.

  “Yes, Jessa. That makes me very happy.”

  I speed up again.

  “Oh god, oh god, oh god! Don’t stop! I’m begging you!”

  “I won’t stop, Jessa. Never. Now come for me!”

  She comes undone the moment I order her to, like the perfect student.

  “Beautiful.”

  I kiss the side of her cheek as I remove my hand from inside of her.

  “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

  After we were finished, I got Jessa cleaned up. I bathed her, put the splints on her fingers, and fed her. I’m pretty sure she got sick because of taking the meds on an empty stomach. I left her with two more pills in case she wanted to take them and told her that I actually did want her to work on her piece again.

  Initially, I was going to fuck her. I wanted to so bad, but then I thought about how I got her to sing for me. By taking it. By doing what it is that I do best. Bodhi has really gotten into my psyche and messed with it, but being with Jessa helped right it again.

  I’ve had a very small taste of him, but I crave more. I need more. I know that he feels something for me, but he got into my head and I started to doubt it. Not anymore though. I always get what I want and I want Bodhi. When I am through with him, he’s going to want me too.

  It’s daytime and I’m taking the chance that he’s home. It’s likely, because he works at night. And, as I witnessed last night apparently, he plays at night too. He likes the dark. It suits him, just the same as me.

  Walking to the front of his building, I press each of the buttons to the units inside. As soon as the first buzz sounds, I open the door and tread toward the stairs, taking them two at a time.

  Once I reach his door, I bang loudly on it a few times. I listen closely but I don’t hear any footsteps on the other side. I bang again and listen. This time I hear movement on the other side. I stand a little out of the way of the peephole, so he won’t know it’s me until he answers. Please, fucking answer.

  Finally, the door opens a little bit and his sleepy eyes go wide when they meet mine.

  I only wait a second before pushing the door open and walking inside. I close the door behind me and lock it.

  “What the—”

  He doesn’t get a chance to finish because I capture his face in my hands and crush my lips to his. His hands move to my chest and I can feel him trying to push me away again. I wrap my arms around him and hold him tightly against my body, refusing to let him push me away.

  “No!” I scream against his lips.

  He tries to say something but as soon as he opens his mouth, my tongue enters and connects with his. His taste floods my mouth and it spurs me on. I loosen my hold on him and rub my hands over his back, his chest. I take a chance and reach my hand down over his boxers and gently pet his cock. It’s hard as stone, just like mine.

  “I know you want this,” I say against his lips again. “I know you want me.”

  His body tenses up again and his hands fly to my wrists. He pulls them off of his body and pushes me. I fly backward, his counter stopping my movement. I quickly turn my head to look back at him.

  He stares at me with a look that I can’t quite make out. He’s angry, but there is something else there. A glimmer of darkness that I haven’t seen in his eyes before. Something dangerous.

  He stalks toward me and grabs my cock over my jeans, hard. He squeezes it for a few seconds before unfastening the button and pulling me across the room. He turns me around so my back is to his front. He pulls down on my jeans and when they are around my knees, he bends me over the arm of his sofa.

  Without warning, he spreads me wide, spits, and pushes his cock inside.

  It stings a little, but it feels absolutely amazing. It’s not the first time I’ve bottomed but I know this will be the best I’ve ever had. I fist my cock and start stroking myself.

  With each thrust, he takes me to a higher state of euphoria. He grips my hips so hard there will probably be bruises tomorrow, and I hope there are because it will let me know this isn’t a dream.

  He starts breathing more heavily and I know that he’s close. I’m going to come any second. I reach around and cup his balls with my other hand and a moan escapes him. The sound throws me over the edge instantly and my cum covers the fabric of the sofa beneath me.

  A second later his hips pound against me, pushing him in further, deeper than anyone before him has been. He holds himself there, deep inside of me, and grunts loudly.

  Once he’s come down slightly, he doesn’t pull out. Instead, his body goes limp and he lays himself down on my back. He still seems angry. I wonder if he regrets what just happened.

  But then, he turns his head slightly and lays a very soft, gentle kiss on my back. He pulls out and steps backward. For some reason, I begin to feel a little shy and I freeze to the spot. That is until I hear him speak.

  “You’re beautiful.”

  I turn quickly and look at him. He doesn’t say anything else, just tucks himself back into his boxers and nods his head toward the bedroom. I stand, pull my pants back up, and follow him.

  Chapter 16

  Knox is curled up against me.

  I’m not really surprised that I had enough energy to fuck him so soon after Sid and Daisy, because this is different. This is something I haven’t experienced before and I fucked him like I hated him even though I don’t.

  I can’t say that I love him—that would be far from the truth—infatuated is the better word for the situation I’ve found myself in.

  “I missed you,” he finally says in a faraway tone and I have to try not to roll my eyes. How he can miss someone he barely knows concerns me in a way. Though, I’d be lying if I didn’t say I missed him too.

  This is strange.

  “I los
t my job last night,” I say, clearing my throat and hoping to change the subject. I won’t declare anything for him just yet—he has to earn my feelings if he wants them that bad.

  “How?” he asks in that damn tone of his as he tightens his grip around my torso. It almost feels like he knows that if he lets go, I’ll disappear.

  “Hm? Oh, I—uh—I called my boss last night and told him I was sick and not coming back. I had a voicemail this morning when I got home telling me that I had been let go. It’s okay, though. I’m sure I’ll find something else.”

  “Why couldn’t you go back last night?”

  I take a steadying breath, “Because I wasn’t feeling well, silly. I just told you that.”

  Knox let’s out a hmph but doesn’t press the subject. I never thought in a million years that he would be so fucking submissive—not with the way he was bold enough to approach me in the diner.

  “Guess that means you should go,” I state clumsily.

  He sits up, rests on his side, and looks at me with a confused expression that I’m choosing to ignore. I look at the tips of my fingers, then immediately slide them behind my pillow. I thought I had gotten all the blood off when I showered, but it seems I was wrong.

  “Don’t hide them,” he says quietly.

  I turn my eyes toward Knox and raise an eyebrow as he reaches underneath the pillow to pull my hands back out into his view. The way he’s looking at them … it’s almost like he sees them as a prize to be won.

  I tilt my head to the side and watch as he continues to worship my hands, sliding his fingers up and down the length of them before he interlaces them and pulls me up to a seated position.

  “Blood-stained and beautiful,” he whispers.

  I don’t know why, but I let him continue his worship. It seems to have my curiosity piqued and satiated at the same time. The reason Knox approached me was simpler than I could have imagined, and his obvious fixation proves it.

  “Do you like everyone’s hands this much or just mine?” I tease him good-naturedly.

  He blanches, steals a glance at me, and chews on his lower lip nervously.

  Everyone’s it is, I think as I roll my eyes, sit up, and pull my hands out of his grip.

  “So, like I said earlier, I guess you should go,” I say, my tone becoming low and stern. Knox looks like he’s just been slapped in the face, but he has to understand that I’m not going to play games.

  Not when he can easily be one of my victims instead.

  It’s been three hours since Knox left.

  I had to almost physically remove him from my home, but he finally left after I snapped at him. I didn’t feel good doing it, but if he’s going to be a hand whore, then he’ll have to find someone new to set his fixations on.

  I’m agitated and unsettled now which is not something that happens easily.

  I lied to him about losing my job because I’ve seen him from the ambulance bay watching the diner when I want to have a peaceful meal.

  I won’t be able to go back there for a while, but I’ve run the trash out of Baby Jane’s place so I’m sure she’ll be okay not seeing me for a little while. And if she runs into trouble, she’s one of the very few people who have my cell phone number, so I know she won’t hesitate to call.

  The more I think about Baby Jane, the more I smile.

  I pull my legs up underneath myself on the couch and dig another spoonful of cereal out of the bowl.

  Baby Jane is different, and one of the very few people that has a reason to fear me. She doesn’t know all of my secrets because I trust her to a point.

  I don’t know.

  I guess it’s just nice to have someone to confide in.

  I know her well enough to notbreak that confidence—especially since she’s well aware of what I’m capable of.

  However, if push ever came to shove, I don’t think I’d be able to hurt Baby Jane.

  With a shrug, I sit back and keep eating my cereal. I’ll have to take a nap soon so I can be refreshed for work and hope for a much more entertaining night than the one I had.

  Chapter 17

  It’s been a week since Bodhi kicked me out of his apartment. I fucked up. Yes—yes, of course I like hands. Not everyone’s, but I’ve liked more than just Bodhi’s. I didn’t want to lie to him, but I should have explained myself before allowing him to shut me out again. I should have told him how magnificent he is. I should have told him how I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about him.

  I take a deep breath and try to focus on the piece that Jessa is playing for me. She’s been playing beautifully despite her injured fingers. She’s so strong and I tell her that every time I have to leave her. Closing my eyes, my head sways from side to side, enjoying the light sound of each note that she hits.

  “You’re so incredible, Jessa; a natural. I can picture you playing for thousands of people; all of them shouting your name.”

  “Does—does that mean you’re…going to release me?” she asks, no longer playing, a hopeful stare locked with mine.

  I breathe deeply again.

  “No. I can’t. You belong here with me,” I respond, watching her face fall in disappointment, a tear trailing down her face. “Go ahead now, continue.”

  I stand and kiss her head as I pace the room, getting lost in her melody.

  I need to talk to Bodhi again, but what if I lost my chance?

  But the way he was talking to me in bed, after we fucked, it felt as though he wanted me there.

  Until I ruined everything.

  All of that confidence and bravado I had a week ago is gone. I need to find it again and I need to go back to him.

  I need to feel his hands on me again. I want to feel him inside of me again!

  I reach down and pick up a bottle of water, downing the entire thing in a few chugs. That’s it. I’m going back there, God damn it. I’m going to make him listen to what I have to say, and then I’m going to make him fall in love with me.

  I wish I felt as confident as my mind thinks I am.

  Here I am again for what feels like the bazillionth time in the alley across from Bodhi’s apartment. He said he lost his job, but I am not certain he was telling me the truth. Regardless of that, he loves the third shift so if he is looking for a new job, it’s likely that he will stick with the same schedule. I hope he hasn’t left already. I’ve been here since 9:45, and I haven’t seen him yet. His lights are all off inside.

  I pull out a smoke and light it up. I might be here for a little while.

  Four cigarettes and a few self-deprecating thoughts later, his bathroom light comes on. A sense of calm washes over my body as I see him step in front of the mirror. I could look at him forever and never get tired of the view.

  Okay, this is it. I throw my cigarette onto the ground and stomp it out. Walking to the front door of his apartment, I wait on the stoop until he comes out. After twenty minutes or so, I see him step out into the hallway and turn toward the stairs. He gets halfway down when he notices me and he stops.

  I look at him with sad eyes, silently pleading for him to talk to me.

  He descends the remaining steps and opens the door at the bottom, stepping outside. He doesn’t look at me. He shoves his hands into his pockets and looks out at the street in front of his apartment.

  “What are you doing here?” he asks, still not looking at me.

  “I…” Come on Knox, make whatever you’re going to say to him count. “I can’t stop thinking about you. I know I messed up the other night, but I really need the opportunity to explain. My fetish—well, it’s not something that anyone else knows about me. I think I kind of freaked out a little when you asked me about it the other day. And I just got uncomfortable for a minute thinking that you would reject me. I didn’t explain it well.”

  He doesn’t answer, but he doesn’t leave either. He’s silent for a couple minutes before saying something.

  “Well, if you’re going to explain it to me now, you better start tal
king. You’re already going to make me late for work, so it had better fucking be worth it.”

  “Sorry, I’m just really nervous. This isn’t something that I am used to.”

  He looks at me with an uninterested look on his face.

  “So, the other day, you asked me about your hands and whether I only liked them or if I liked all hands. Well, the truth is, I don’t like just any hands. There have been others I’ve been particularly taken with; I won’t lie to you there. But, your hands—well, I’ve never in all of my years seen any hands as stunning and magnificent as yours. Your fingers,” without thinking, I reach forward and pull on his arm, forcing his hand out of his pocket, and I hold onto it gently, “they’re so soft and slender and I can’t stop thinking about you running them over my body.”

  Staring at his hand in mine, I link my fingers with his before running my skin along his palm.

  “You have large, strong hands despite your smaller build; there is something about them that calls to me. There is talent in them. You work with your hands the way a sculptor would, perfecting everything that you touch.”

  I stop talking because I realize that I am beginning to drone on, but I don’t let go of his hand. His thumb moves over mine and my eyes move to his. His pupils are slightly dilated, the way one’s might be when they are turned on. Or am I imagining that?

  Standing there with bated breaths, I’m hoping that what I am seeing—what I am feeling—isn’t one-sided. That it isn’t something I made up in my head. I squeeze my eyes shut and just as I am about to drop his hand and give up, he finally speaks.

  “Meet me at the diner tonight; one o’clock.”

  I open my eyes and nod my head softly.

  “See you then,” he says, dropping my hand and walking away.

  “See you then,” I finally answer, but he is too far away to hear me.

  I pull out another cigarette and light it up. Leaning my ass up against the railing outside of his apartment, I stare after him until I can no longer see his figure, with a big-ass goofy grin on my face.