Love Untrusted

by Tressie Lockwood

  “Get out of here, Miguel. I’m trying to get dressed. Go figure out where your girlfriend will sleep because the guestroom is being used for storage right now.”

  “She’s not my girlfriend.”

  “I suppose you want her in your room.” She turned to her closet to grab a blouse. With her arms and legs bare, she felt exposed.

  He grasped her arm to keep her from moving away. “I said she’s not my girlfriend.”

  “Could have fooled me. Please let me go because I don’t need anyone walking in on us with me dressed like this.”

  He hesitated as if he was ready to do more than grab her arm, but then he backed up. She couldn’t stand the disappointment and the anger at his attitude.

  “I broke up with her before I left New York.”

  “Convenient.”

  “Jasmeka.”

  “What do you want me to say?” She blew out a breath, trying to calm down. The last thing she wanted to do was behave like the stupid woman who didn’t know she had been used and when to move on. “She’s here, and it’s obvious she’s come to claim you.”

  He grumbled and thrust both hands into his hair. “Carmen’s never been the pushy type. She’s always just let me have the space I needed.”

  How could he fall for that ploy? Jasmeka could see through it, and she hadn’t been in Carmen’s presence more than a few seconds.

  “You told her you needed space and didn’t break it off?”

  “I very clearly told her she was free to see anyone else, that we were no longer lovers.”

  Jasmeka felt somewhat better about him not compromising his ideals, but he was confused. She picked up on it in the way he had backed up and stopped touching her. He was trying to figure out which one of them he wanted more, and she wasn’t having it.

  “I suggest you go tell her it’s back on because I’m no longer available.”

  “Jas.” He reached for her, but she moved away.

  “Go, Miguel.”

  He remained where he stood. “Why are you being like this? I don’t understand.”

  “Of course you don’t. You’re a man. Please, just leave.”

  The stubborn thing didn’t budge. She ground her teeth together, trying to keep a grip on her attitude. Control was slipping fast. His beautiful gaze bore into her as if he tried to read her very soul. The fact that he wasn’t defending himself or at least fighting for her drove her nuts. Why did she have to feel so vulnerable? He had no right to bring her to this point after a few days, especially since they’d only been messing around. It was nothing serious.

  Your problem is you know it could get serious.

  She bit off a moan, and regret brought pain to her chest. There was the problem. She always spoke truth to herself if not to everyone else. Miguel, even with his trust issues and his anger, could be someone she could love. She didn’t love him yet, but there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that she could be crazy about him. A lot of guys had crossed her path, and she had dated some. Not until David did she ever fall in love. Maybe it was because deep down David and Miguel were similar. Not that she thought she could love Miguel because he was David’s brother. More like they both had such sincere hearts, as if neither of them knew just how much love they had to offer, but being hurt had closed them off.

  Wait, doesn’t that make me some kind of Florence Nightingale type, thinking I can heal them?

  She groaned again. “Are you going to tell her you’re staying here in Texas?”

  The words “with me” hung on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t make herself utter them.

  He hesitated.

  “That’s just what I thought. Get out!” This time, she shoved him toward the door, and he didn’t fight her to stay. When she had him in the hall, she slammed the door and locked it. Tears sprung to her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. She swiped at them. There was no sense crying. She had lost in the arena of love again. No big deal. Maybe the next one.

  Chapter 10

  “Isn’t this great?” Thiago slapped Miguel on the back, grinning like an idiot and waving around a silver flask. He claimed it held nothing but juice, but Miguel knew better. “Our whole family all together.”

  Miguel stayed where he was, allowing his father’s arm to remain slung around his shoulders. He wasn’t up to fighting the old man, who kept trying to get him to commit to staying. Miguel’s attention strayed repeatedly to Jasmeka. She knelt on a blanket she had spread over the grass, and she wore a tropical patterned covering over her bathing suit. He already knew what she looked like with nothing on, and it didn’t stop his mind from drawing up the image in his head. They were together only a few times, and it was far from enough.

  Then there was Carmen. She had no qualms about exposing herself, and why should she? He knew her body too, and she freely showed it, dressed in a bikini that left so little to the imagination, it bordered on indecent. He’d caught his brothers staring at her more than once.

  “Miguel,” Carmen called, waving her arm from the end of the platform that extended over the water. Her long dark hair was plastered to her face and shoulders. She gathered it and slung it onto her back, giving exaggeration to her movements to cause extra bounce in the right places. “The water’s great. You should come in.”

  Miguel wondered why she insisted on speaking Spanish when she knew everyone in his household was fluent. He suspected it had to do with her separating him from Jasmeka. Both his family and Carmen had Mexican roots, while Jasmeka didn’t. As superficial as it was to make the distinction, he knew she made it, and Jasmeka noticed. From her first day, Carmen saw how often his gaze drifted to Jasmeka. Her response wasn’t to question him but to cling tighter and to remind him of his life back in New York.

  Aunt Rosa strolled up to Miguel and Thiago. Her hair had been scraped into a severe bun at the back of her head, not even a strand being allowed to escape. She wore a black dress with three quarter length sleeves and black diabetic sneakers without socks. He winced when he saw her, wondering how she wasn’t catching fire in the heat.

  “She’s your love?” Aunt Rosa said in Spanish with a false cheer. Miguel knew she didn’t like him. “That’s good. I guess you will be going soon.”

  She couldn’t be more obvious, but he didn’t allow her dislike to get to him. He’d dealt with it many times and had developed a thick skin. “She’s a friend, Aunt Rosa.”

  One side of her lips curled in distaste, and she rubbed her arms. “The day is chilly. I will go to the house.” She raised her voice. “Jasmeka, you will look after the children.”

  Both Antonio and Angel reddened. “We’re not children, Aunt Rosa.”

  They spoke in unison, which Miguel had heard many times before. He had to agree with them that they weren’t kids, and watching them he’d learned that both were excellent swimmers. They would be fine.

  Aunt Rosa gave the boys a lecture and then demanded the maid, who had assisted Jasmeka with the picnic baskets, see her home. Thiago released Miguel and wobbled over to a tree to slide down to the ground. He raised his flask to his lips and drank long and heavily. Soon his eyelids drooped.

  Miguel turned toward the boys. Each had taken hold of one of Carmen’s hands, and they pulled her toward a three-person kayak. Carmen called out to him again, but he pretended not to hear. He still wasn’t sure what he should do about her. Yet, he didn’t want to let go of Jasmeka. If someone would have told him a few months ago, he would find himself in such a dilemma, he would have called them a liar. Shame washed over him, because he was seeing in himself what his father had struggled with all of Miguel’s life.

  No, this isn’t the same. He wanted to believe he was different. He had no intention of leading either woman on while keeping the other in reserve.

  As Carmen and his brothers disappeared around the turn of the lake, Miguel glanced over at Jasmeka. She was on her knees, setting out the food on a low wooden table that looked like a quality-made picnic table with its legs chopped low. Very convenient f
or an intimate family gathering.

  He strolled over to her and dropped onto the blanket. Sitting back and bracing himself on his elbows, he watched her. Desire gripped him. He wanted to touch her, to draw her into his arms and kiss her. The scent of strawberries and cream teased his nose. Was it a dessert she had made, or was it her? He wanted to grasp her hand and kiss her fingers, but something told him she wouldn’t like that. Not when he hadn’t decided what he wanted.

  “We can bring the grill down,” she said, distracting him from fantasying about her, “or we can stick with the sandwiches I made. Trust me when I tell you they’re so good you’ll eat until your stomach pops.”

  He chuckled low in his throat. “I don’t want my stomach to pop.”

  She pursed her lips and rolled her eyes playfully. Had she forgiven him? He took a chance.

  “How about you come sit on my lap?”

  She tossed a grape between her lips and chewed a few seconds before responding. “Will Carmen sit on it before or after me?”

  Okay, she hasn’t forgiven me.

  “Jas—”

  She stood. “The food’s all ready to serve. I’m going for a swim.”

  He was going to stop her, but she removed the wrap. Her rear came into view and those lusciously thick thighs. She wore a suit that looked like a bikini in the back and a one piece in the front. Her sides and back were bare, but her belly was covered. The suit gave him all kinds of ideas of taking it off her and he sat forward quickly before she could notice what she did to him.

  “What are you looking at?” Her voice carried an annoyed quality to it, but she couldn’t hide the pleasure at his stare. “Carmen was practically naked.”

  His chest constricted. She was jealous, and he was sorry he made her feel that way. “You’re so beautiful, I can’t help myself. Let me look if you won’t let me touch you.”

  She scooted away from him and headed across the pier. He watched her hips sway, luring him to join her. In one fluid motion she jumped into the water and swam with easy grace. He wasn’t ready to stay in Texas because he loved his job. His life in New York satisfied him, but here was a new satisfaction, and its name was Jasmeka. She wouldn’t get away from him yet, even if he had to seduce her into his arms.

  He dove into the water and swam toward her. Just before he could grab her, she turned and spotted him. A squeak of alarm escaped her, and she took off in the opposite direction.

  “Stop, Miguel.”

  He grinned and kicked hard. In a few strokes he caught her ankle and pulled. She sputtered and went under. He swam over top her and wrapped an arm about her middle, drawing her up to him. At the same time, he stopped swimming and brought them both upright. Tightening his grip, he spooned her and nuzzled the side of her neck.

  “You’re not getting away from me.”

  She shivered in his hold. “I have a choice in the matter.”

  “Don’t fight me.” To demonstrate his knowledge of both her desire and her body, he licked the soft spot behind her ear. She was still sweet even with the slight taste of the water on her skin.

  “Miguel!” She wiggled in his hold. He moaned in satisfaction. She stilled and then started fighting again. The second time he noticed she wasn’t trying very hard to get away. To him that was a clear invitation. He twisted her in his arms and covered that amazing mouth. Hungrily, he claimed her lips and cupped the back of her head to hold her close. She punched his arm with the side of a fist and then curled against him, grabbing both his arms to draw him to her.

  That’s better.

  Miguel consumed her until she whimpered. He released her mouth and explored her neck. He let his hands drift down her body. His fingers found the tie in the back, and he loosened it.

  “Don’t you dare!”

  “Too late.” He put the slightest bit of space between them so he could slip his hands into the front of the suit. Her gasp turned into a low moan.

  “Miguel, they’ll be back soon.”

  “I don’t care.” He searched lower. “Does it come undone at the bottom?”

  “No!”

  “Then take it off.”

  “We’re not doing it out here.”

  “We did before.”

  “On shore, at night, when no one else was around. I admit I want you, but I’m not taking off my swimsuit, so forget it.”

  He ran his hand over her hip and paused just long enough to make very clear to her what he intended. Her eyes grew round. She gripped his shoulders.

  “Y-you’re bad,” she whispered, and her head went back.

  He eased her suit aside and took what they both wanted. Miguel forgot about the food on shore, the laughter in the air from the others, and even the water as he and Jasmeka melded together.

  Chapter 11

  Jasmeka peeked out the kitchen window at the sky and sighed. A storm was coming in fast. The weather station was already anticipating tornado warnings. That was Texas, so she wasn’t surprised, but she couldn’t remember the last time one had hit close enough to the ranch to cause damage. Maybe the year after she started working there. Most tornados that swept through the area were farther out into the country areas.

  “Simple dinner,” Aunt Rosa announced in Spanish when she entered the kitchen. “The men will be busy getting things ready with the animals. We have our duties here.”

  Jasmeka didn’t say she knew the routine. She had already put the menu together for dinner and had a light lunch waiting just in case the boys and a few of the workers took time to come inside to eat. Often, when a storm was expected, the house was empty and kind of lonely because everyone was out on the grounds doing last minute repairs and checking that the animals were secure.

  “Maybe I’ll take a couple baskets out to them,” she suggested. “Can’t hurt. I mean it’s a long time until dinner.”

  The truth was, she was thinking about Miguel. She kept telling herself it was stupid to mess around with him in the water like they did, especially when they were almost caught. The problem was, she didn’t regret it. As if that one deed drew her to him like honey, she kept thinking about him and wanted to be near him. She wanted to talk to him and feel his eyes on her. He on the other hand, didn’t look so tortured. Not to mention Carmen was still clinging to him and looking sexier with each passing day. Jasmeka wasn’t a fool. At some point, Miguel would go home. There was no love to keep him in Texas. In the end, she would get hurt, and she knew it.

  “That’s not necessary,” Aunt Rosa said, but Jasmeka was already putting the baskets together. She packed pulled pork sandwiches spread with Dijon mustard and barbecue sauce on hamburger buns. In fact, she piled the sandwiches so thick with meat the men might not be hungry later.

  By the time she headed to the building which housed the animals, the day was turning dark. A huge plop of rain smacked her in the forehead, and she looked up at the sky.

  “Come on, Miguel,” came Carmen’s throaty tones. “Let’s go sit somewhere alone and watch the storm like we always do.”

  Jasmeka frowned. Miguel had opened the door and come outside with Carmen close to his side. Every step, her hip bumped his thigh, and Jasmeka ground her teeth. No more! He could stuff the pork where the sun didn’t shine!

  She swung on her heel about to go back to the house but then came face to face with the maid, who was carrying the second basket and rolling a cooler of drinks. A low grunt escaped her before she drew in a breath and blew it out.

  “Jas?” Miguel called.

  She turned around again and pasted on a smile. This was so not her. She never faked happiness. “I thought I’d bring lunch down here since all of y’all were so busy.”

  He stared into her face in the waning light, but she shoved the basket toward his chest. A nice good thump made him wince, giving her some satisfaction.

  “Venga,” she told the maid. “We’ll take the rest inside. You can carry that basket, Miguel.”

  “Jas.”

  She ignored him and kept moving. Once ins
ide the building, she began calling to the men, setting up the fare on a table where she shoved aside piles of paper, clipboards, and other junk she was sure was important but didn’t matter to her at the moment.

  “Everyone, come and eat to keep your strength up. I know you’re going to be head down, going at it the rest of the day. Plus, it’s about to come down out there.”

  Cheers rose all around. Hector was the first to reach her with a toothy grin. He ripped into his sandwich and scrubbed the back of his hand across his mouth while he chewed heartily. “Ms. Jasmeka, siempre es tan bueno!”

  She laughed. “Of course my food is always good. You better believe it. Now eat up, everyone. Where are the twins?”

  “Jasmeka!” Miguel entered the building carrying the other basket.

  She pointed out where he should sit it. “Right there. Thanks. Eat up. I think I’m going to close the kitchen tonight, so you can figure out what you’ll do if you get hungry.”

  He glared at her. “Is that your call? Why are you—”

  “Later, guys.” She waved at the others and moved past Carmen, who watched her with curiosity in her expression.

  Once Jasmeka was outside, she picked up the pace, but the crunch of gravel sounded behind her. She was jerked around to face Miguel’s angry face and stumbled against his chest because of his rough treatment.

  “Do you mind?” she snapped.

  “Yes, why are you so angry?”

  “Let me go, Miguel.”

  “After you explain.”

  She tried to look past his shoulder but failed because he was keeping such a sharp hold on her. “Carmen’s going to follow you in a minute. Do you really want her to see me lying on your chest? Let go.”

  He didn’t budge, the stubborn jerk.

  “I’m not angry,” she lied. “I’m busy. The storm is coming, and I’ve got things to do.” To accentuate her words, another plop of rain landed on his head and ran down the side of his face. She snorted in amusement, but he hardly seemed fazed.