Orville Mouse and the Puzzle of the Last Metaphonium

by Tom Hoffman

  “I’m starting to feel kind of sorry for him. He reminds me a little of Ebenezer.”

  Proto was listening absently, his eyes on a piece of crumpled white paper under Sophia’s seat. He pretended to stretch his arms, surreptitiously taking the paper. He turned his back to the others, reading the note.

  I wish he’d move out. I wish we’d never met him.

  He ripped it into tiny pieces, his eyes on Sophia.

  The adventurers let Brother Solus sleep until he woke up.

  “How long did I sleep? Not too long, I hope, one should not fritter away the day lost in dreams.”

  “You were tired, you needed sleep. Everyone needs a nice long rest once in a while.”

  “Perhaps you are right, I must admit I feel quite refreshed, almost ready to face a ravaged city filled with Anarkkian attack spiders.”

  “They’re gone, they vanished when you fell asleep. Bellumia is gone.”

  “I see. What is out there now?”

  “A dark forest with tall black scraggly looking trees. Squeaky saw a ghost pirate with a big axe riding on a giant carnivorous centipede.”

  Brother Solus turned to Orville. “I am guessing you are responsible?”

  “Yes, I’m afraid of ghosts, pirates, giant centipedes, and creepy forests.”

  For the first time since they had met him, Brother Solus smiled. “As are we all, my young friend.”

  Proto stood up, slinging his great pack onto his shoulder. “We should go. The sooner we rescue Aislin, the sooner we can get back to Muridaan Falls. I have some business to attend to back at the Cube.”

  “Back at the Cube? What kind of business?”

  Proto stepped into the forest without answering.

  Chapter 30

  Fear

  Orville’s eyes were anxiously scanning the trees as they made their way down the meandering shadowy path.

  “You didn’t hear that? That rustling sound? It could be the ghost pirate.”

  “Relax, the pirate only exists because you’re afraid of him. It’s kind of funny if you think about it, a ghost pirate with a big axe riding on a giant centipede? I’m surprised he wasn’t pulling a wagon filled with snapberry pies.”

  Orville frowned. Why did everyone think this was funny? Even Brother Solus had laughed. That wasn’t so bad though, it was nice to see Brother Solus laugh instead of being stern and crabby. Maybe Sophia was right, it was a little funny. He peered into the forbidding depths of the forest as he strolled along next to Sophia.

  “These trees are so close together that a gigantic centipede couldn’t fit through them anyway, which means I don’t have to worry about–”

  Time seemed to stop when Orville saw the beautiful ghostly mouse floating in the shadows, saw the weary face of Aislin Mouse, her gaze meeting his, her voice in his thoughts.

  “You came. I knew you would, the Shadow King said you would. Cross the Great River. I long for the moment I can once again hold Ebenezer in my arms.”

  “Orville, what’s wrong? Why did you stop?”

  “What?”

  “Why did you stop?”

  “You didn’t see her?”

  “See who?”

  “Aislin Mouse, I just saw her. She was a ghost. She said the Shadow King knew we would come. She said we have to cross the Great River.”

  “The Shadow King knew we were coming? How could he know that? How do we rescue Aislin if she’s a ghost?”

  “She said she longs for the day she can hold Ebenezer in her arms again. She can’t be too ghosty if she has arms.”

  Sophia grinned. “Good point. We have to get to the Great River. When we cross that we leave the real world behind us.”

  “I’m not sure I’d call Elysian the real world. Things appear when you think of them, like ghost pirates on giant centipedes. That’s not exactly Muridaan Falls.”

  “Whatever you call it, it’s the world we’re in. We have to find the Great River and we have to rescue Aislin.”

  Brother Solus had been listening to their conversation.

  “The Great River lies to the east. Once we cross it, for better or worse, we are in the realm of the Shadow King.”

  Proto sent Squeaky ahead of them, flying high above the dark forest. “Ha ha ha ha! Orville must be hungry. Squeaky just flew over a pastry shop.”

  “Orville, did you shape a pastry shop?”

  “I can’t help it, I’m starving, and I keep thinking about those yummy snapberry pies. At least I’m not thinking about a ghost pirate riding a centipede.”

  Proto stopped short. “Oh dear, you probably shouldn’t have said that.” Proto pointed down the forest path to a translucent blue ghostly pirate mounted on a monstrous black centipede.

  “I think I’m going to throw up.”

  The great centipede scuttled toward them, its sinuous body undulating, its colossal legs moving in waves with a horrible metallic clicking sound.

  “Orville, control your fear, stop thinking about the centipede.”

  “How can I stop thinking about it? I can’t not think about something that’s right in front of me!”

  “Wait, I’m going to try something I do when I’m having a scary dream.”

  “What?”

  Sophia strode toward the gigantic centipede and its ferocious ghost rider. She held up one paw, motioning for the pirate to stop.

  “Excuse me, I wonder if you could help us?”

  The pirate gave a cold laugh, raising his blue axe high above his ghostly head.

  “Arghh, ’tis a tasty little snack for me trusty mount. Ye shall be feasting on fresh mouse this very day, laddie.”

  “Excuse me, do you happen to know if there’s a flower shop nearby?”

  The pirate lowered his axe.

  “Arghh, what manner of devilry be this? Prepare to meet ye maker, scurvy mouse.”

  “First of all, you shouldn’t say arghh so much, it just confuses everyone because no one really knows what it means. Secondly, I’m looking for a flower shop because Orville’s mum’s birthday is tomorrow and we want to get her a big bouquet of blue moreilias. They’re her favorite flower and she’s been feeling sad lately, flowers would really cheer her up. You know how much mums love to get flowers on their birthday.”

  “Arghh, ’tis so, there’s no denyin’ the truth in that. My own dear mum fancied the very same blue moreilias.”

  The pirate had a faraway look in his eyes, his great blue axe now resting on the centipede.

  “We’d be so grateful if you could help us find a flower shop, such a kindness would help lift her spirits. Think of how your own mum would feel if someone brought her a lovely bouquet of flowers.”

  The pirate’s axe vanished. “I be recallin’ them days of my youth, Papa and I carryin’ flowers to me own dear mum. ’Tis a fond memory, one not thought of for many a year. Arghh.”

  “You’ll help us? Your mum would be so proud of you, I can almost hear her saying how much she loves you.”

  The centipede vanished. The ghostly pirate was now standing alone on the forest path.

  “Arghh, ’tis true, she herself ha’ told me so many times. The love of me dear mum is not to be forgotten.”

  The pirate transformed into a bright yellow bird and flew off into the trees.

  “Creekers! What was that? What just happened?”

  “It’s what I do in scary dreams. Instead of being afraid, I show kindness, love, and ask them to help me. The scary thing always changes into something beautiful. It worked for everything except the caterpillars.”

  Brother Solus was staring at Sophia, a curious light in his eyes.

  Two days later there was still no sign of the Great River.

  “Why do we always wind up in creepy forests?”

  “The forests on Tectar weren’t creepy, they were beautiful, lots of lovely wildflowers.”

  “That’s true. Hey, Proto, how come you never get scared? You love all those creatures with claws and fangs.”

  “I su
ppose it is because I was once afraid to set foot outside of the Cube, terrified I might encounter a dreadful Anarkkian attack spider. I am almost indestructible, and yet they held great fear for me. There is a certain giddy delight in no longer being afraid of the fearsome creatures that once terrified me.”

  “It must be nice not to be afraid of anything.”

  Proto spotted a crumpled ball of white paper on the forest path. He kicked it into the scraggly brush. He didn’t need to read it, he knew what it would say. It held the words he feared above all others.

  “Brother Solus, what about you? What scares you?”

  Brother Solus stopped, studying Orville’s face for any sign of insincerity, but found none.

  “The unknown, that is what scares me above all else, that infinite domain which holds the secret of my past.”

  “The secret of your past?”

  “I am unable to recall even a single moment of my life before Elysian. I yearn to remember those lost days, but there lies within me a deep and terrible dread of the horrors such memories may reveal. It is a dread so profound I cannot find proper words to describe it.”

  “That sounds really scary. It can’t be that bad though, you seem like a nice fellow, not someone with a dark and scary past. You seem true, that’s what the Thirteenth Monk calls it. Maybe it was just something really sad, like Sophia and the caterpillars.”

  “Perhaps there is some truth to what you are saying. Perhaps my fear outweighs the darkness to be found in those lost memories.”

  “I see the river!”

  Orville and Sophia darted ahead, stopping at the edge of a broad raging river.

  “This has to be it, it’s huge.”

  Brother Solus strode up next to Orville. “We have done it, we have reached the Great River, no small feat, I assure you. I can also assure you that crossing it will be far more difficult than you might imagine.”

  Chapter 31

  Charon the Ferrymouse

  “It’s flowing a lot faster than I thought it would be, and it’s almost a mile wide. There’s no way we can swim across it.”

  “We could build a boat.”

  “We can’t build a boat if we can’t even shape a saw to cut the trees down. Hey, Proto, you don’t have a big saw in your pack, do you?”

  “Ha ha ha ha! Good one, I’ll have to remember that one.”

  “I believe the solution to our problem lies scant yards away.”

  Brother Solus pointed to a wooden shack sitting a hundred feet downriver. Tied securely to a rickety dock was a wooden longboat with two oars resting in the locks.

  “Where did that come from? That wasn’t there before.”

  “This is Elysian. Let us discover what fresh obstruction has been placed in our path.”

  “This is good news, not bad. We found a boat.”

  Brother Solus appeared less than convinced.

  Orville and Sophia made their way down the river’s edge to the shack. In front of the forlorn ramshackle structure sat a rough hewn rocking chair, currently occupied by a disheveled mouse wearing a tattered brown and red robe secured around his waist with a length of frayed rope.

  A crudely painted sign dangled from a nail on the front of the shack.

  Charon’s Boatworks

  Reliable Ferry Crossings

  Reasonable Rates

  The bedraggled old mouse was sound asleep, his mouth open, raspy snoring sounds wafting across the air.

  “Should we wake him?”

  “Of course we should, he’s our ticket across the river.”

  “That boat doesn’t look very safe, it’s cobbled together with old boards and tarpaper and globs of dried goopy stuff.”

  “It’s floating, isn’t it?”

  “Sort of.”

  Sophia gently tapped the old mouse on the shoulder. He snorted loudly, his eyes popping open, a dark look appearing on his face.

  “What is it? Who are you? What do you want?”

  Sophia gave her brightest, friendliest smile. “We’re trying to cross the river and we saw your sign. Would you be able to ferry us across in your boat?”

  Orville added, “Your sign says reasonable rates.”

  The old mouse rose to his full height, which was significantly less than Orville’s.

  “I am Charon the Ferrymouse, I carry souls across the River Styx to the Land of the Dead.”

  “The River Styx? Is that the name of this river?”

  “Why else would I be here? I am Charon the Ferrymouse, I carry souls across the River Styx to the Land of the Dead.”

  “Right. How much do you charge? Wait, what do you mean you carry souls to the Land of the Dead? Isn’t the realm of the Shadow King across the river?”

  “It is not. Across the River Styx lies the Land of the Dead. Payment for passage is one danake per soul. That’s a total of three danakes for your party. No charge for the metal rabbit or the little mechanical puppy, since they do not possess souls.”

  Proto blinked. This was something he had not considered. Maybe this was why they wanted him to move out, move back to the Cube. Maybe Charon was right, maybe he didn’t have a soul.

  Brother Solus lost all patience. “I believe, good sir, you are acutely misinformed regarding your current location. This is the Great River, not the River Styx, and the realm of the Shadow King lies on the far bank, not your mythical Land of the Dead.”

  “Preposterous, my dear sir. I am Charon the Ferrymouse and this is the River Styx, of this there is no doubt. I have been ferrying souls of the dead across this river from the beginning of time immemorial.”

  “It may interest you to note that none of us are dead, all of us quite alive and well.”

  Charon the Ferrymouse gave a start, giving Orville a sharp poke in the ribs.

  “Great Heracles, you are alive, I haven’t ferried a living creature across the river since that crafty Sysiphus fellow. I hope you know what you’re doing, the Land of the Dead is not for the faint of heart.”

  Orville nudged Brother Solus. “Are you certain this is the right river? Crossing over to the Land of the Dead doesn’t sound like a good idea.”

  Brother Solus glared at Charon. “What a marvelous boat you have, good sir. Perhaps you could tell me exactly how long you have been ferrying souls from this particular location?”

  Charon’s pugnacity fell away, replaced with befuddled uncertainty. “It’s been a while, of course, let me think… I’d say… I’ve been here for as long as I can remember.”

  “You have no recollection of precisely how and when you arrived at this particular location in Elysian?”

  Sophia tapped Orville on the shoulder. “I just remembered I left my purse back in the forest. We need to go back and find it.”

  “You brought your purse with you on an adventure? Seriously?”

  “We need to find my purse, Orville, and we need to find it now.”

  “Oh, right, we need to find your purse. Lead the way.”

  When Sophia was certain Charon couldn’t overhear them, she stopped, a look of chagrin on her face.

  “It’s quite possible I may have created Charon the Ferrymouse. I was thinking how much this was like the ancient myth of the ferrymouse carrying souls across the River Styx.”

  Orville grinned. “That’s great news, now we know there’s no Land of the Dead, and we can use Charon’s boat to cross the river. He said he charges one danake per soul. What’s a danake?”

  “It’s an ancient coin, and we don’t have any. I don’t even know what they look like.”

  “I’ll talk to him, negotiate. I’m good at that sort of thing.”

  “I don’t know if that’s the best idea, Orville. He seems a bit cranky, be careful not to antagonize him.”

  “I’m an excellent negotiator. No need to fret, the Dread Pirate Orville will get us across that river.”

  Two minutes later Orville stood facing Charon the Ferrymouse.

  “Passage across the river is one danake per soul, is t
hat correct?”

  “Correct. No charge for the metal rabbit or the puppy.”

  “I see. The problem is we don’t have that particular coin. Could I pay you with silvers? I have nine silvers in my pack, and Sophia has twenty.”

  “Impossible. We only accept danakes, nothing else will do. Unless you have an interest in taking the Three Question Challenge?”

  “The what?”

  “The Three Question Challenge. I ask you three questions, if you answer them all correctly your entire party receives complimentary passage across the River Styx.”

  Orville’s confidence evaporated.

  “I don’t really do very well with three question challenges, I get a little flustered and it’s hard to think. What happens if I don’t answer all three questions correctly?”

  A fearsome light shone in Charon’s eyes. “If you miss even one question, you shall be condemned to wander the barren shores of the River Styx in the Land of the Dead for precisely one hundred years, not a minute less.”

  “Wait, if I miss a question we still cross the river?”

  “Correct, but there is the additional hundred year river wandering penalty clause.”

  “I’ll take your Three Question Challenge.”

  “My questions will not be easy ones, do you wish to reconsider your choice? This is your last chance. Don’t forget, one hundred years of wandering and not a minute less.”

  “I’m good. I’ll take your Three Question Challenge.”

  “As you wish, so it shall be. Question number one, how many souls are currently residing in the Land of the Dead?”

  “What kind of question is that? Who could possibly know that?”

  “Your answer, please.”

  “Eleven?”

  “Your final answer is eleven? You’re quite certain?”

  “Yes, eleven souls are currently residing in the Land of the Dead.”

  “Incorrect, I’m afraid. All of you, into the boat, we’re off to the Land of the Dead.”

  Chapter 32

  Lost and Found

  “It’s some kind of giant beetle and it’s rolling a big ball. What do you think it is?”

  Sophia peered around the trunk of a gigantic fern. “You don’t want to know.”