Just an Illusion - Unplugged

by D. Kelly

  “Have you given any more thought to putting the moves on Mel again?” His question is random. Too random.

  “Did Belle tell you to ask me that?”

  “The fuck? No, and I can’t believe you would go there. You two seem to have found a groove. Morning coffee, getting-to-know-you chats, and you bounce sarcasm off each other like it’s a sport. There’s obvious sexual tension. I just wanted to know if you’d changed your mind.”

  After pulling out the chair next to me and propping my feet on it, I lean back and think before answering him. I’m not sure how much I want to confide in Darren right now.

  “No, Noah already is laying the groundwork to be with her. I’m not going to do that to him.”

  “But you want to.”

  “No, I don’t.”

  “You, my friend, are a liar. Or you’re lying to yourself. Either way, be careful, or it’s going to backfire on your ass.”

  “Noted.”

  “Then my work is done.” As he hops up, he bumps my fist and leaves.

  Once he’s gone, I strip down and get comfortable. Our conversation lingers long after he’s gone. What I wanted to tell him is, every day I regret not telling Noah we kissed because each day Amelia burrows herself a little bit deeper under my skin. I’ve never let a girl get to me like this. Not even Marilyn. I didn’t miss Marilyn once she was gone, but I already know I’d miss the fuck out of Mel if she went anywhere.

  It won’t matter after this weekend. Noah hasn’t said as much, but I know he’s going to make his move and they’ll be a couple by the time we’re back on the bus. At least then, I can let her go and be done with this stupid infatuation I have with her.

  Around two in the morning, I went downstairs for a drink. I couldn’t sleep and needed to get out of my head for a bit. The bar had just closed, but the bartender was hot, and she offered to mix us some drinks in my room. Who was I to say no?

  Which leads me to where I am now—in bed with a sexy brunette and Noah banging on my door. She’s stayed long past her welcome anyway, so I toss her clothes to her while pulling up my boxers.

  “I’ve got some stuff to take care of.”

  “I can wait,” she purrs.

  “Nah, you need to go, but thanks for last night. It was fun.” And it was. She kept me occupied for hours, and it was only after the sun came up that we crashed.

  “Can’t blame a girl for trying,” she says as she pulls on her clothes.

  “Come on, Sawyer, I know you’re in there. Open the door!”

  After flinging the door open, I pull him inside before he wakes up the whole damn hotel. “What the fuck, Noah? Whatever it is, can it wait until after coffee?”

  “You kissed her?!”

  The chick from last night lingers with his words, and I hold the door open and motion for her to leave. Which, after taking a moment to eye fuck my twin, she does. Skank.

  “Who is the her you are referring to?”

  “Don’t. Don’t play dumb. You know damn well I’m talking about Mel.”

  Fuck.

  Fuck.

  Fuck!

  Why did she tell him? My stomach lurches and I close my eyes. I can’t go through this again with Noah. I should have just been honest with him. How am I going to get out of this?

  “Yeah, so?”

  “So? That’s your response? You’ve got to do better than that, Sawyer.”

  With an exasperated sigh, I take a seat. “Do you think I tell you about every chick I kiss?”

  Pausing momentarily, he takes a seat before answering. “No, of course not.”

  “Why would this be different then?”

  “Because … I’m attracted to her and I know … you are too.”

  I know he’s not trying to pick a fight, but he’s leading us into treacherous territory we need to steer clear of.

  “What do you want from me, Noah? We kissed, it was hot, then she pushed me away. She wasn’t interested. I don’t typically broadcast my successes, like last night, or my failures.”

  He eyes me suspiciously, and my shoulders tense. “You don’t have failures.”

  “We all have failures. Princess was my most recent. It was only a kiss. Relax, Noah. It didn’t mean anything to her. She likes you.”

  When he shifts in his seat and locks his matching eyes on mine, I realize this is far from over. “And what about you? Do you like her? You must if you classified the kiss as hot.”

  Freudian slip. He wasn’t supposed to know that. Damn.

  “Kisses can be hot without leading to feelings. I’ve had thousands of them. Look, she’s a cool chick, and we get along. She’s going to be great for the book, and honestly, I think she’ll end up becoming a good friend. We both know I don’t have many of those.”

  His expression softens. “You didn’t answer my question. Do you like her, Sawyer?”

  “I feel like we’re in junior high. I like her as a friend, but she’s not into me. She’s into you.”

  “Did she say that?”

  “She didn’t have to. Have you seen the two of you together? You practically complete each other’s sentences already. You’re always touching and laughing.”

  With skeptical eyes, he looks me over. “Why would you notice?”

  “Oh my God. Noah, seriously, if you’re going to keep pushing this we need to get some room service up here with some fucking coffee. I’ve had about three hours of sleep, and we have a long-ass day ahead of us. I notice because I pay attention to you. You’re fucking happy with her. This is what you’ve been waiting for, so stop questioning me on something that doesn’t matter and go make yourself a happily ever after.”

  A touch of a grin appears before he schools his features. “Were you ever going to tell me?”

  Yes, I was going to tell you before you beat me to it and stole my girl.

  “Nope, because it was no big deal. If it would have meant something, don’t you think I would have told you? If I’d found the girl who lit me on fire from the inside out, don’t you think I would have been happy to share that with my best friend?”

  Guilt washes over his features, followed by sadness. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have doubted you. I know we’ll never have a repeat of Marilyn, it’s just …” He laces his fingers together and meets my eyes again.

  “It’s what, Noah?”

  “How you described her with me? That’s how she is with you too. Haven’t you noticed?”

  There’s no way she’s like that with me because that would mean I have a shot at her, and I clearly don’t. And I can’t let myself believe there’s a chance. I won’t fuck him over again.

  “All I can say is we’re becoming friends. I think you’re reading more into it than there is. I’m not on drugs anymore, and I won’t fall into bed with your girlfriend. You can trust me, Noah.”

  And he can. I need him to more than anything. I need to be someone he can believe in.

  “I’m sorry I freaked out. Of course I trust you. You’re the person I trust most. Want to order up some food? I’ll get you coffee.”

  “That would be great. Get me an omelet and toast. I’m going to hop in the shower and wash the skank off.”

  “Denver … egg whites and sourdough?” he calls out.

  My heart is finally starting to slow down. “That’s perfect, and coffee. Lots of it.”

  “That I know.”

  His laughter follows me into the bathroom, and when I’m under the spray of hot water, I finally exhale.

  What have I gotten myself into?

  Typically, after a show, Mel sticks around and we all leave together. Not tonight. She took off like a bat out of hell, and I wonder if she’s avoiding me. She probably thinks I’m pissed at her for telling Noah about our kiss. I could never be mad at her for that. If anything, I should have been man enough to tell him myself.

  To claim her as my own.

  Noah appears out of nowhere and looks around. “Have you seen Mel?”

  “Yeah, she took off abou
t ten minutes ago.”

  “Did she say why?”

  “Nope, but I didn’t talk to her. I saw her look up here and then duck out. Maybe she had to make a call or something.”

  Noah pulls his phone out of his pocket but immediately shoves it back in. “Dammit. I forgot it died earlier.”

  “Why didn’t you have Mac charge it while we were onstage?”

  “Because Mac isn’t my fucking lap dog,” he snaps, taking his frustration out on me.

  “No, he’s your goddamn security guard, and that phone could potentially be his lifeline to you. Get your shit together, Noah. You’re the only one of us with a stalker. Next time, have someone fucking charge your phone, even if it’s me you have to ask to do it.”

  I’m pissed at his recklessness. Unable to deal with him or his attitude right now, I head for the exit. Mac follows and drives me back to the hotel but not before telling Ryan to be sure to bring back the rest of the guys.

  “Do you know where Mel went?”

  “I put her in a cab headed back to the hotel. She said she didn’t feel like waiting for the fans to die down tonight.”

  “I’m not sure I blame her. This tour might be smaller and more intimate, but I swear some of these fans are bolder than ever before. Think it’s because it might be their last chance to nab a rock star?”

  Mac nods, keeping his eyes on the road. “That’s exactly what it is. We’ve already talked to the next venue about making sure their security team is at capacity. I think we’ll have to do that for each one, but that’s an easy fix.”

  “Good thinking, especially with women like Sara out there.”

  “She’s still bothering you?”

  “She will always bother me. I didn’t like it when she was sending Noah all those letters, but her silence isn’t much better. The whole thing was a little anti-climactic, don’t you think?”

  After pulling into the valet, Mac turns to me. “Some people do weird shit just to say they could. If we’re lucky, she’s one of those and the cops put the fear of God into her. Each day that passes is a good sign, Sawyer.”

  We get out of the car, and I see Mel at the bar with a huge margarita in front of her. She’s going to be drunk after one drink.

  Since the hotel is quiet and the bar is full of sports fans watching a football game, I think I’m safe to duck inside alone.

  “Hey, Mac, I’m going to hang out and get a drink. You can wait here if you want. Or you can call it a night and go upstairs. If I need you, I’ll text.”

  He looks between me and the bar before his eyes land on Mel. With an all-knowing smirk, he nods. “I’ll go clear the rooms. She can probably protect you from the fangirls anyway,” he says, chuckling as he walks away.

  I slide into the empty booth in the corner unseen. After ordering a beer, I use my sudden alone time to admire the curve of Princess’s ass on that barstool. When she cheers for the touchdown, I’m surprised, and when she starts her second fishbowl margarita, I know I can’t leave her alone down here.

  “Hi there.”

  A sexy redhead is staring down at me, and my cock twitches in my pants. She’s wearing a tight black dress and the tallest pair of come-fuck-me heels I’ve ever seen.

  “Hey yourself.”

  “Can I buy you a shot?”

  Unable to resist her southern accent, I motion her closer. “Why don’t you have a seat next to me and I’ll buy us both some shots? What’s your name, sweetheart?”

  She wastes no time sliding in so close to me our thighs are touching. “Cami … and you’re Sawyer, right?”

  The waiter comes back, and I order a bottle of tequila and two more beers. After he leaves, I scoot closer to her, “Yes, I’m Sawyer. Were you at the show tonight?”

  Her hooded gaze rakes down my body. “No, but my friend said she saw you here in the bar last night. I thought I’d try my luck.”

  Keeping Mel in my line of sight while we flirt is easy. Stopping myself from taking her upstairs to her room when she orders a third drink isn’t. Damn Noah for not charging his phone. Within a few minutes, she’s drained over half of the drink, and I watch as she fumbles through her purse for something. When she pulls her hand out, she’s clutching her room key, and she brings it to her lips and kisses it.

  Fuck, she’s hilarious.

  “Something funny?” Cami licks her lips as I trail my fingers up her thigh.

  “Sort of. When that girl leaves, I’m following. You can come with me, and we can fuck in my room if you want. Or you can stay here. Your choice.”

  Desire flares in her eyes as she shoves my hand up her skirt. No panties and dripping wet.

  Groaning, I nip at her ear. “Let’s go.”

  After sliding out, I hold my hand out to her. Mel is already on the move. “We need to be in that elevator before it closes if you want to get laid.”

  That gets her ass in gear. She pulls me through the lobby at lightning speed. As the doors begin to close, I stick my hand in and open them. With a raised brow, I greet Mel and tuck myself in the corner so I can watch her. Pulling Cami in close, I lower my lips to hers. Mel’s watching in fascination. I’m not even sure she realizes she hasn’t taken her eyes off of us.

  The asshole inside of me wants to ask her to join us, but that would never happen. If I finally got Princess in my bed, I wouldn’t share her with no fucking body. The even bigger dick inside of me is totally getting off on her watching us. I imagine it’s her lips against mine, not this chick’s. Even though Mel’s kisses leave scorched earth behind, having her watch somehow elevates this kiss to the similar burn we shared before.

  When the doors slide open, I’m disappointed and take it out on her. “Could have been you, Princess.”

  The shocked expression that takes over her features is classic. The look screams she thinks I’m an audacious SOB, but the rise and fall of her chest shows me a different tale. She’s totally wet for me. When Cami looks over her shoulder and opens her mouth, I want to slap her and kiss her at the same time. “Thanks for turning him down,” she says, and I can’t help but pull her in for another kiss.

  Once we’re at my door, I turn around and watch until Mel finally disappears into her room. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that Noah is waiting in his adjoining room for her. She’ll be fine.

  “Are you as good as they say you are?” She’s a bold one, and I like it.

  “Better,” I answer, locking the door behind us. “What’s your kink?”

  “How do you know I have one?”

  “You’re assertive, didn’t bat an eyelash when my fingers dipped into that sweet pussy down at the bar. Those heels, sexy as fuck no doubt, but they have to hurt. Even still … they’ll look good wrapped around my neck. My guess is you’re voyeuristic, into BDSM, but I’m not sure if you’re a dominatrix or a submissive, maybe both. Tell me, sweetheart, am I close?”

  Her eyes cloud over with lust. “You nailed it all, except I’m a switch, and I love erotic asphyxiation.” She gasps as I put my hand around her throat and position myself behind her. “Tighter,” she begs.

  “I’ll fuck you in front of the window with all the blinds open, but this is as tight as I go. No fingerprints, no bruises, and no chance I’ll accidentally kill a complete stranger. Put your hands against the window and spread those sexy-ass legs for me while I grab some condoms.”

  “No condoms. I’m on the pill.”

  “No glove, no love. My dick, my rules, my condoms. Take it or leave it.”

  She releases a sad sigh but does as she’s told. “No way in hell I’m leaving it. I hear you’re hung in all the right places.”

  “Yeah? From who?” I call out from the bedroom.

  “My friend, she’s the one you fucked last night.”

  Now that explains everything. My privacy is important, and I could report her for violating it, but she was a good fuck, and she sent me a girl who is hot and ready to bang. Kind of makes me wish she would have been working tonight. The three of us
could have had some real fun.

  “Did she tell you my rules?”

  “Oh yeah.” She licks her lips, and I press my mouth against her neck.

  “What are they?” The huskiness of my voice sends goose bumps across her skin.

  “One-night stand, no second chances, no numbers exchanged, and be ready to leave before dawn.”

  “That about sums it up. Ready for me to rock your world, sweetheart?”

  Cami left my room about two hours after she got there last night. The sex was shit. It wasn’t me; she was all talk and no game. Maybe she wanted me to be rougher, but that’s not something I can risk. Most likely her goal was to get knocked up, and when I insisted on protection, it changed the game for her.

  To get off, I had to think about Mel, and fuck if that didn’t set off a whole lot of thoughts I’m not even comfortable addressing. Clearly, I’ve got issues and don’t know how to fix them.

  We’re back on the bus now, but as we were leaving the hotel, I saw Noah and Mel kissing at the door. I’ve never been so angry in all my life as I was at that moment. And for what? My brother kissing his girlfriend? Something he not only has every right to do but that I also gave him my blessing for? Even my workout didn’t help with the anger and stress. There’s only one thing left I can do.

  Help – I’m fucked.

  Numero Uno: Did you kiss her again?

  Worse, I saw her kissing Noah, and I can’t stop being pissed off. What do I do now?

  Numero Uno: I know you don’t want to hear this, but I think it’s time you talk to him.

  Oh, we already did that. She told him about the kiss, and I acted like it wasn’t a big deal. Then I gave them my blessing.

  Numero Uno: Oh, Sawyer…

  I can see she’s typing something else, so I wait.

  Numero Uno: Therapist Diane is going to tell you to journal and reflect on what is going on inside of you so that you can come to a resolution.

  Numero Uno: But your sister is going to tell you this can’t end well, and it’s better to tell Noah now that you have genuine feelings for Amelia. What if she’s your one?