Just an Illusion - Unplugged

by D. Kelly

  “You hear that, big brother? You’re going to be all right.”

  “Noah, where are you?” Mel sits up and starts pulling the wires attached to her; she’s freaking out.

  “Amelia, you’re okay. My name is Dr. Martin. Please calm down and let me explain what’s happening.”

  Mel isn’t paying attention to him though. She looks over at Noah and screams again.

  “Amelia, you’re in shock.” Dr. Martin tries getting her attention to no avail. “I’m going to give you something to help calm you down. It’s going to make you sleepy, but you’ll feel much better when you wake up.”

  My heart aches as Mel continues crying, but Noah needs me more right now.

  Within seconds Mel is knocked out, and Dr. Martin asks the nurses to get her cleaned up and into a gown.

  “Is she …”

  “She’s fine, Sawyer. She does have a minor gunshot wound. We’re going to run some labs, get her on some antibiotics, and bandage her up. It looks like they were both lucky tonight. The paramedic mentioned their attacker was killed at the scene?”

  “Thankfully,” I mutter, but I quickly clarify my position when I see his shocked expression. “She’s been stalking Noah, making all of our lives hell. I’m just relieved she can’t hurt him anymore.”

  “I see. That makes more sense.”

  As he turns to check on Mel once again, my leg bounces with restless energy until I blurt out what’s on my mind. “Dr. Martin? I think Jordan is a bit … lost right now. Would you mind checking him out too? I’m not sure he’ll be okay. It’s a lot for him to handle.”

  His sympathetic eyes meet mine as he rolls closer to Mel on his stool. “Of course, but what about you? Isn’t it a lot for you to handle? Do you want me to call Dr. Stein?”

  With all of my fucked-up issues these days, I could keep Dr. Stein occupied for hours, but I’m okay; it’s J I’m worried about.

  “No, I know how to reach her if I need to, but maybe call her for Jordan?”

  He smiles at me kindly. “Let me clean and bandage Amelia’s wound and I’ll go check on him.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Noah Weston?” a tech asks as they enter our curtained-off area.

  “Right here,” Dr. Martin answers.

  The tech moves in and raises the rails on the bed so he can push Noah out for his tests, but I don’t want to let go.

  “Sawyer,” Dr. Martin says, “you can’t go with him. He needs a few scans and will probably be gone close to an hour. Come sit with Amelia. She’s going to need someone by her side when she wakes up.”

  Leaning over the rail, I place a kiss on the side of Noah’s forehead that isn’t bloody. “I’ll take care of Princess, Noah, and it’s your job to come back to us awake and talking.”

  My stomach is queasy. Between the blood, alcohol consumption, and general stress of the day, I’m wiped. As soon as Dr. Martin leaves, I take the seat next to Mel and hold her hand.

  “Hey, Princess, you lucked out tonight. Mac is good at his job, but never in a million years did I imagine we’d need him to take care of something like this. That man deserves a raise, a vacation to a tropical land, a new house, car, whatever he wants. Nothing in the world is more precious than having you and Noah safe and here with us.”

  She looks so peaceful; you’d never know she’s been to hell and back tonight. As I look at her, my mind floods with memories from the last few months. It’s crazy to think she’s only been in our lives for four months. I’m pretty sure I fell in love with her the second she called me a dick. Fire flared in her eyes, but her cheeks blushed the perfect shade of pink. My cock was instantly hard. She was the perfect blend of feisty and humble.

  Later that night, when she walked into my bathroom, it seemed like the fates had aligned and brought her to me. I was a goner the second her lips crashed against mine. And when she turned me down, fuck … I felt like an addict being denied his high.

  That was the beginning of the end for me. I couldn’t shake the way her lips tasted against mine, or how her body heated with my touch. All night long, her sultry moans reverberated through my body. I’d only had a small taste of her, but I wanted more— so much more.

  “Noah,” she mutters, still sleeping.

  Noah. It all comes back to him. Noah was enraptured by her. That was something new; I’d never seen him like that before. As much as it pained me to do so, I stepped back for him. Little did I know how intense my feelings for her would become and how large of a wedge she was going to drive between the two of us. I thought I’d been doing good the past few weeks. Just like any addiction, I was beating it. Until Sara held that gun to her head. I realized then I’ve been fooling myself. I love her more now than ever before.

  “Noah,” she calls out again, a bit more coherent this time. His name on her lips is just the reminder I need to set me straight. It’s like Wyatt said, she made her choice. No matter how much it hurts, she picked him, and I’m going to respect that. I just need to figure out how.

  A sense of dread comes over me when Darren and I walk into the waiting room. My parents are going to be pissed they haven’t been able to go back and see Noah yet. Mom should take some lessons from Belle; there was no way she was going to take no for an answer.

  “Sawyer!” Mom flies out of her seat and into my arms. She pulls me close and sobs into my chest.

  “Shh Mom, it’s okay. We’re all okay.” I rub her back and let her cry until she’s ready to pull away.

  “How’s Noah?” Rory asks, trying to swipe away her tears.

  “He’s having some tests, but he’s going to be fine.”

  Jordan glares at me, but I don’t care. There is no other acceptable outcome in this situation.

  “If he’s having tests, how do you know?” she counters and they all look at me.

  “I know because he’s Noah. He is strong, and he’s not about to leave now that he’s found, Mel. He was mumbling and stuff before they took him, he was waking up.”

  “That is a good sign.” Diane pats Dad’s hand while he nods. “And Mel?”

  “Mel has a minor gunshot wound, but she’s okay. Belle commandeered her way in to see her and is sitting with her now. Has anyone been able to check in with Mac?”

  Darren answers my question “Warren went over there and is going to stay with him until he’s no longer needed at the scene.”

  Good, that’s good. Ryan, on the other hand, looks like he could use some air.

  “Ryan, can you walk with me?”

  Ryan hops up quickly, looking relieved and quietly follows me outside.

  “Sawyer, I’m sorry. If you need to fire me, I understand.” He says once we’re outside. Puzzled at why he would even say that I turn around.

  “I don’t think that would be necessary. I’m sure whatever happened tonight, Sara had something to do with it. I just wanted to know what went down and that you’re okay.”

  Ryan breaks down what happened from when we pulled away until when he got to the hospital, and just as I thought, Sara was up to no good.

  “Thanks, Ryan. You did your job. You hit the emergency notification and checked out a potential threat after securing their vehicle. There was only one of you, but Sara had friends. In no way is it your fault they ambushed you. This whole mess only proves what depths of depravity Sara was willing to go to. If we hadn’t gotten there in time, she would have killed Mel and probably kidnapped, tortured, and killed Noah too.”

  A chill goes through me just thinking about it. I’m so glad that bitch is no longer a threat. We walk around the hospital, and before going back inside, I have Dr. Martin paged. Once he’s on the line, I arrange for Mel and Noah to share a private room. They need one night before having to deal with the press and our family. He agreed easily enough; they have the space and he knows money isn’t an object. He also informs me Noah is talking and finishing up with his tests.

  After disconnecting the call, I update my family and tell them where they can see Noah b
riefly.

  “What do you mean you’re staying here? I don’t think that’s wise, Sawyer,” Mom chastises.

  “Mac and Ryan need to get some rest. Hospital security has things on lockdown, but I’m not leaving Mel and Noah to fend for themselves in case someone gets on this floor or, God forbid, in their room. Besides, I’m sure they’re going to need help during the night.”

  “Son, that’s what the nurses are for. You need your rest too.”

  “Dad, I’ll rest tomorrow. I’m used to late nights anyway. It’s one night, I’ll be fine. You two go back to the house and get some sleep. Maybe bring them both some clothes in the morning?”

  With a reluctant sigh, Mom kisses my cheek. “Okay, we’ll see you in the morning. We love you, Sawyer.”

  “I love you both too,” I reply as Dad gives me a quick hug.

  Collapsing in the chair outside their room, I finally exhale. It feels like this night has dragged on forever. When the nurse finishes with the two of them, she pauses to give me an update.

  “Amelia is asleep, and Noah is in and out. Remember to keep the lights dim and the sound down. If anyone needs anything, hit the call button on either of their beds. I’ll be on duty all night.”

  “Thank you,” I reply, and then make my way inside the room.

  The hours pass slowly. I’m in a semi-comfortable chair between their beds. Mel’s been having intermittent nightmares, and Noah is in so much pain I don’t know what I can possibly do to help.

  I keep one earpiece in my ear and one ear free so I can be aware of their needs. Regret weighs heavily on my mind. If I’d just insisted J come back to our house tonight, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. I can’t win for losing; giving them their space only backfired on me. And now I’m sitting here wishing dawn would come faster. As much as I want to help, listening to them cry out for each other at the worst time of their lives only cements the fact I’m not a player in this game.

  I’m listening to “If It’s Not Me” by Tyler Ward, and without even realizing it I start softly singing along. Once the song is over, I turn off the music so I can go to the restroom, but Noah’s sympathetic eyes are on me.

  “Sawyer …” His voice is gravelly, and I reach over to give him a drink of water. “Thanks,” he rasps as I place the cup on the table.

  “Do you need something else? Do you want me to get the nurse?”

  “I’m fine, but I’m worried about you. Are you okay?”

  This man is lying in his hospital bed with a massive concussion and he’s worried about me. Maybe it’s because I’m tired, but it just niggles at the constant feeling of inadequacy lingering under my skin. Noah will always be the better brother.

  “Of course I’m fine, just worried about you guys.”

  He winces as the sun peeks through the blinds before glancing at Mel and back to me. “You mean you’re worried about your Princess.”

  There is no malice in his words. In fact, he sounds … resigned if anything.

  “No, that’s not what I meant at all. Don’t do this, Noah, please. Not now.”

  His eyes flutter closed, and relief floods through me as I think he’s going back to sleep, but they open again.

  “I’m not trying to have conflict with you. I heard you singing. That song is … sad.”

  And now I see where he’s going. Those lyrics do kind of fit our situation, but this time I wasn’t exactly thinking about Mel.

  “It is sad, I agree. The label asked me to listen to it. It’s part of the new music they gave us to familiarize ourselves with their new artists and upcoming new releases.” I could kick myself now for singing along, but that’s how I work. Committing new music to memory helps me remember it and promote it when the opportunity arises.

  “And that’s all? Because if this is something more, we should talk it out.” Every word he speaks causes him to wince. This is the last thing he needs to be worrying about right now.

  “That’s it. I’ve told you before, and I’ll say it until my dying breath, nothing is going on. I need you to believe me once and for all.”

  I’m tired, overemotional, and I can’t keep having this same discussion again and again. All it does is open wounds I’m trying like hell to keep closed. Each time he asks about Mel, it’s like a dagger to the heart. Some days I wish I’d never met her, but I can’t imagine our lives without her either.

  “Sawyer, it’s okay.”

  “I wouldn’t do that to you, Noah. You have to know that.” The desperation in my words lingers between us.

  “I do,” Noah replies softly. “Aside from Mel, you are the most important person in my life, Sawyer. Don’t ever forget that.” I wish I could unsee the pity in his eyes. It’s as if he knows I’m feeling inadequate again. The last thing I want right now is his sympathy.

  “I know, and no matter what you might think, I’m glad you found her. The two of you are sickeningly perfect together.”

  “What I think, Sawyer, is you put up a brave front, but deep down inside you’re ready to settle down too.”

  It seems like all we do is go around and around with this. Noah is desperate for me to settle down, and I wonder how much it has to do with me moving on from my inappropriate crush on his girl if I do. Thankfully, Princess yawns, bringing our attention to her. I’ve never been happier for someone to be awake. The two of them are alive, the sun is shining, and soon enough we should be able to get out of here so I can put my focus on something else for a bit.

  Better Man

  “Do you think I care? Look, Bob, Warren already told you this is legit. Noah is out of work for the next month. It’s what, two or three weeks of shows to reschedule? Fucking do it.”

  This asshole at the label is getting on my last nerve. The last couple of days have been exhausting, and he’s not taking this seriously.

  “What about doing the shows without him? He can stay home and get some R&R, and you guys can keep going.”

  This fucker.

  “You did not just ask me that. We’ve never performed with one of us missing, and we never fucking will.” The longer I talk to this fool, the higher my blood pressure climbs.

  “Sawyer, come on, it’s a little bump on the head. Noah will be fine.”

  “Let me be clear, Bob. Do your fucking job and reschedule the shows. File whatever you have to with the insurance company so they’ll pay out the losses. What you’re asking is illegal. The doctor put Noah on leave for a reason. Noah can’t work, and if you don’t do what you’re paid to do, I’ll go straight to the owner of the label. Don’t think for a minute I don’t have his number in my phone. The faster you do your job, the less anxious I’ll be to use it.”

  “Okay, okay,” he concedes like a little bitch. “You don’t have to be such a hardass. You can’t blame a guy for trying.”

  “You want to bet? Amelia was shot, Noah can barely open his eyes without excruciating pain, and our guards are under mandatory orders to see psychologists over break because one of them killed a woman to save Mel and Noah. They’re all traumatized. You’re lucky this isn’t going to last longer or we don’t cancel the tour altogether. Push me one more time and we might.”

  I hate this prick, I have always hated him. He’s sleazy on a good day and will blow smoke up anyone’s ass to get what he wants. I’ve wanted him off of our account for a while, but he likes us, and nepotism has its privileges. He’s somehow related to the owner, but I’ve heard they’re on shaky ground.

  “All right. So we’re in agreement you’ll pick up in New York after the first of the year as scheduled?”

  “Unless the doctors recommend otherwise, yes.”

  “Jesus, let’s hope they don’t, that would be a nightmare.”

  He’s lucky I didn’t go to his office and do this in person.

  “Okay, Bob, gotta go. If you need anything, talk to Warren.”

  “All right, Sawyer, see you in New York!”

  Dammit. I forgot we have to schmooze with this fucker in New York. Hop
efully, it will be the last time we see him because it’s getting harder and harder for me not to tell him to fuck off.

  “Come in,” I call out when there’s a knock at my door. Anna peeks her head in, and it immediately brings a smile to my face. “Hey, Bethie.”

  “Hey, Sam and I are getting ready to head back down to San Diego, but I wanted to be sure you’re okay before I go.”

  “I’m fine. It’s been a rough couple of days, but everyone is healing.”

  “About that …” She takes a seat. “Did you suddenly get over your fear of blood and wounds?”

  “No, why?”

  “Don’t play coy with me. You’ve been squeamish as long as I’ve known you, but you’re the only person Mel seems to go to for help with her bandages.”

  Busted.

  “It freaks me out, but Noah can’t do it, and Mel doesn’t seem to want to ask anyone else. I caught her trying to do it herself and she was making a mess. I told her to just get me from now on. I have it down to a quick routine.”

  “You’re a good man, Sawyer Weston, and one day some girl is going to be lucky to have you.”

  “Thanks, Bethie, but I think I’m going to be taking a hiatus from women for a while. Take some time to work my shit out.”

  Leaning forward, she drums her fingers against the desk. “Maybe after the tour you can work on getting your house together. That house is your true happy place. Maybe you’ll feel more centered if you start spending some time there.”

  That’s not a bad idea. I always assumed I’d fix it up with my wife, but this could be a project I can get behind.

  “Anyone ever tell you that you’re one smart cookie?”

  Grinning, she replies, “Once or twice. If I ask you something, will you give me an honest answer? It’s a two-part question.”

  “I’ll try.”

  “You started calling me Bethie the first week we met. Why?”

  Her question takes me back; I remember it like it was yesterday. “You have to promise you won’t be mad at me if I tell you the truth.”

  Happiness glimmers in her eyes as she leans back in her seat and draws an X over her heart with her finger. “Cross my heart.”