His Redemption

by Laney Powell

  Like he was for me.

  We didn’t go to dinner that night. We went to the Beanery, and got tea, and talked. As much as I loved touching him, and being with him, I was content with tonight being low key. He drove me back to my Suburban at the bakery and kissed me long and hard before putting me into my car.

  “I’m going to be busy this week,” Raif said. “We have a couple of cows who are close to giving birth, so my schedule will be crazy.”

  “Then you need to call me when you can, and text me all your dirty thoughts,” I said.’

  “I can do that,” he kissed me again.

  As I drove home, I found that I couldn’t stop smiling. This had been a rough day and had ended wonderfully.

  Because of Raif.

  When Raif said his week was crazy, he wasn’t kidding. One cow gave birth Monday night, and the other one on Wednesday. The second cow had problems, and they had to call the vet to come out and help her. Thankfully, both moms and calves came out of it well. They were waiting on one more cow, and he’d been going out into the yard to call me when he took a break from baby watch in the barn.

  “I can’t wait to see you,” he said. “Axel asked me if I wanted to move out to the cabin.”

  “What cabin?”

  “There’s a small cabin, a bunkhouse, out by the barn. Jensen lived there when he first came here, but since he lives in town with Carissa, no one’s staying there. He said,” Raif stopped.

  “He said? Who said what?” I asked.

  Raif cleared his throat. “Axel said that since I was in a place where I might need more privacy than when I first came here, he wondered if I’d like it.”

  “And you said?” I asked.

  “I said yes. You’ll have to help me move in and then help me christen the place.”

  “Only if you keep the turkeys away from me,” I said, remembering them coming at me.

  “They’re really not that bad. You need to make peace with them.”

  “I need to make peace?” I said. “They’re the ones who rushed me!”

  He laughed, and I realized he was teasing. “When can I see you?”

  “Not the rest of the week unless this last cow gets a move on,” Raif said, and I could hear the regret in his voice. “I’ll let you know as soon as she does.”

  “I hope it’s soon,” I said, lowering my voice. “I miss you.”

  “Oh, lord,” Raif said. “You’re going to kill me.”

  “Not yet,” I purred. I wondered where this side of me had come from and decided I didn’t care. It was here because I loved Raif, and he made me feel wonderful. So I was going to enjoy it.

  The enormity of what I’d just thought hit me. I loved him? Oh, my God.

  “Taylor?” I heard.

  “What? Oh, sorry,” I said. “I was daydreaming. Of all sorts of things,” I let my voice drop again. I didn’t want to talk about this with him. Not yet. I didn’t know if he felt the same.

  “I have to go. I’ll call you,” Raif said reluctantly.

  “Bye,” I said.

  We hung up, and I sat for a moment with the phone in my lap. Did I love him? Is that what this was? My sense of love was skewed. I knew that from seeing Nadine. I knew that from looking at Beezie and Link and comparing it to whatever it was that Kasper and I had.

  When I’d met Kasper, I’d fallen in love with him fast. He’d come on strong, buying me flowers, taking me to dinner, calling all the time and being there, in my life, all the time. It had been a whirlwind for six months straight. Then we’d moved in together, and for a while, things had been great.

  Until he’d decided to try out cocaine. He had loved it, but he couldn’t afford it. So he turned to drinking more, which was far more affordable. That had been the beginning of our end. Looking back, though, I wondered if it was real on his part. It was so… overwhelming. Almost like he never gave me a chance to decide if he was what I wanted. He was always there, always in my view.

  Raif didn’t do that. He gave me space. He gave me choices. He wanted—insisted—that I speak up for myself.

  And I loved him. Not because of what he did for me, but because of how I felt for him. I didn’t feel I owed him anything. I didn’t feel like he needed to do anything for me. Although he obviously was a caretaker, just like me. But I didn’t get a sense of obligation from him.

  I made a mental note to talk with Nadine about it. This felt like the equivalent of a major archeological discovery for me.

  Raif saw me as his equal. He expected me to be his equal, nothing more. He didn’t expect me to be his mother, his caretaker, his fixer.

  Whoa.

  I was quiet as I ate dinner with my mom, and thoughtful throughout the next day at work. I had another appointment with Nadine, and I shared some of my thoughts with her.

  She smiled, bigger than I’d seen her smile since I began working with her. “Taylor, that’s wonderful. You’ve been doing good work.”

  “Thanks,” I said. “Am I on the right track?”

  “You are, even without me nagging.”

  I laughed a bit at her reminder of our last conversation.

  “Do you think it’s love?”

  I nodded. There was no hesitation.

  “Then you’re probably right. You know what you have to do next?”

  “No.” I thought this was a fairly big step.

  “You need to tell him.”

  “What if he doesn’t feel the same?” I got panicky at the thought.

  “You can’t control what other people feel, Taylor. You have to be in charge of you, and you can’t let the fear of what others may or may not do decide what you do.”

  “That feels… I don’t know. Risky.”

  “Love is a risk. You took a risk coming back here. I know you were worried your family wouldn’t accept you. But they did. You took a risk blocking Margaret. Which was very brave, because I think she’s somewhat unhinged, from what you’ve told me. I’ll feel better if you report her to the police. Let them know that she’s harassing you, and your family.”

  “What can the police do?” I asked.

  “Unfortunately, not a lot until she does something. I just have a bad feeling about her.”

  “That’s not very professional,” I teased.

  “No, but you see people enough, and you get a sense of them through their behavior. There’s something really off about her.”

  “I agree. I’ll stop by the police station on the way home.”

  As I promised, I did stop by. An officer named Penny Matheson took my statement. She wasn’t from around here. I knew most of the people my age, and I’d say Penny was around my age.

  “What are you afraid of?” Officer Matheson asked.

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. That she’ll show up? Try and hurt me? She’s never hurt me before, but right before I left Cheyenne, she told me that I was staying, and she wasn’t going to hear anything more from me.”

  “Did she try to stop you from leaving?”

  I shook my head. “I snuck away. I left after I was sure she’d left the hospital.”

  Officer Matheson typed a bit more into her laptop and then looked up. “There’s not a lot we can do, Taylor. I’m sorry to tell you that. I can tell you don’t feel comfortable, but nothing that Margaret has done has broken any laws.”

  I sighed. “I didn’t think she had.”

  “You, your mom, and your sister have all told her to stay away from your home and business?”

  “Yes. We were pretty clear. My mom very much so.”

  Officer Matheson smiled. I’d told her that Mom told Margaret to fuck off.

  “So if she calls again, or does anything like show up, send someone to speak with you, anything, you need to let us know. You’ve made it clear you do not wish contact. If she continues to push for contact, we might be able to step in.”

  I got up. “Thanks for your time.”

  “It was nice to meet you. I’m sorry you had to come in, but I’m glad you did.
Too many people don’t, and we can’t help if you don’t give us information as it happens.”

  Officer Matheson shook my hand, and I left the station and drove home. I told Mom what I’d done and called Beezie to let her know. I thought it might help if they both went in and talked with Penny Matheson. They both agreed, promising to do so in the next few days.

  Raif and I weren’t able to see one another on Friday, either, due to baby watch. This was getting ridiculous. I wondered if you could die of lust. So I went to work Saturday and resigned myself to a weekend without Raif. I knew that they were stretched thin out at the ranch.

  The doorbell rang later that night after I’d come home and showered, and I jumped up from the couch, excited at the thought that Raif might have been able to get away.

  When I opened the door, my mouth fell open.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Raif

  I was taking a bathroom and food break in the house. We’d been rotating all the chores so that someone could stay with our last pregnant cow. It had gotten hairy with the second one, and Freeze didn’t want to leave the third one alone at all.

  “He’s like a mother hen,” Axel said. He’d come in with me to get something to eat. Freeze was with the cow. Jensen and Pris had gone out to check on the rest of the herd. Axel and I had fed and watered all the horses, fed the chickens, collected the eggs, fed and milked the goats, and fed the turkeys. For the moment, the chores were under control.

  A shout from the barn had us both running. As we hit the barn doors, we could hear Freeze. “Come on, girl, you can do this. It’s all right, this is normal. You can do it, sweetie.”

  I smiled. He really did love his cows. Walking into the pen we’d made for her, the cow had her head down, and was panting. A tiny hoof protruded from her backside. She made a low, keening sound, and then like magic, a small calf fell onto the floor of the barn. The cow turned around and nudged at her calf. The calf faltered, but struggled to its feet.

  “A boy!” Freeze shouted. “Hot damn, we’re two for three!” The first two calves were male and female, one of each. Since the goal was to produce bulls for the rodeo circuit, the more males that were born, the better chance we had at hitting that goal.

  There wasn’t much to do after that. Nature had made things so that the cow and calf were moving forward without much help from us. Freeze fed the cow and told both of us to head in. Axel called Pris to let her know. When he got off the phone, he turned to me. “Hey, man, if you want to take the night off, do it.”

  “You sure?”

  He nodded. “We have most of it under control. I’ll send Jensen home, and we’ll manage.”

  I couldn’t help myself. “We need more help,” I said.

  Axel sighed. “I know. Granddad is picky about who he brings in.”

  “He does all the hiring?” I asked.

  “Yeah, that’s his thing. He gave the ranch to me and Pris, and he doesn’t give us much grief about our decisions, but he has definite ideas about who comes to work here.”

  “Maybe there are some kids in town who need part-time jobs,” I said. “We can do this now, but we’re going to get burn out if we keep up this schedule.”

  He smiled. “Yeah, I’ve been thinking I need to man up and talk to Granddad. You want to stand with me, hold my hand for moral support?”

  “Sure,” I said.

  “This mean you’re sticking around?” Axel looked at me intently. “Last I heard, you weren’t sure.”

  Is that what it meant? “I… I don’t know. I think so?” I gave him a half-smile. “This wasn’t quite what I had planned.”

  Axel nodded. “It never is. Well, think about it, and give me your answer. I already know what Jensen thinks, since he’s bent my damn ear for the past two weeks. If you agree, and you want to stick around, I’d like the three of us to talk to Granddad together.”

  “Scared of one old man?” I teased.

  “Damn straight. The guy could kick all our asses. There’s strength in numbers, Raif. You know that.”

  We both laughed, and I went to get a shower. I was going to head into Paulson and surprise Taylor. I knew she’d be home. She had to get up early for the bakery, and she was a woman who liked her sleep.

  Axel watched Raif take the stairs two at a time. He grinned, thinking about their conversation. “Granddad, you’re a fucking genius,” he said, watching the other man disappear. “A horse, this ranch, and a good woman. It can heal anything.”

  When I drove into town, I was cheerful. I was also desperate to get Taylor naked again, to make her sigh and scream and come all over my cock. Or maybe my face. But with her living at her mom’s and me not out in the cabin yet, I had a sad feeling that wasn’t going to happen tonight.

  I didn’t care what was on the agenda tomorrow. I was moving into the cabin and inviting her over. I was a grown man. She was a grown woman. We shouldn’t have to sneak around like this. Not now, not that we were out as a couple. Feeling happier with my future plans, I turned onto her street. There was an unfamiliar car with Wyoming tags on it right in front of the Claiborne house.

  That was odd. She hadn’t mentioned she was expecting friends.

  When I stepped onto the porch, I heard raised voices inside. Taylor, her mom, another woman—it wasn’t Beezie—and a man. My WTF meter went off. I took a couple of steps toward the door and listened. I couldn’t hear what was being said, but the tone was obvious. Without knocking, I opened the door and walked in.

  Taylor was standing in the living room. She looked pissed. Her mom was next to her, and she looked worried. The two people I didn’t know turned around, and I knew right then who I was looking at. The guy who had the appearance of someone dragged through a knot hole, run over, and then left for dead had to be the ex. He also looked very tired. This was a man who had come to the edge, and somehow, come back from it. The vestiges of good looks hung around him. He’d been a good-looking guy at one point. If he cleaned up, he would be again. Since he’d lived, anything was possible. I didn’t know how, given how poor he looked, but that wasn’t my concern. He’d have to heal and get better on his own. Without Taylor.

  She was mine.

  The woman was a different story. She had an air of the feral about her. She was angry and mean. She glared at me like she’d like to have a piece of me, and not in a good way. I stared back at her, daring her.

  With everyone looking at me, Lana darted into the bathroom that was right off the living room. The click of the door shutting made the man and the woman turn back to focus on Taylor.

  “Where did your mom go?” the man asked.

  “Probably to be sick,” Taylor said. Her hands were on her hips, and her eyes were snapping with anger. “Because she just can’t believe you two would show up here. Especially you, Margaret. Like we’re friends or something.”

  “You ran out on my boy!” the woman yelled. “You worthless girl! You left him for dead in the hospital.”

  “I gave everything I had to give,” Taylor said, looking at the man. At Kasper.

  “Taylor, I’m clean now,” Kasper said, and his voice was quiet.

  Taylor stared at him for a long time, then she looked at me. Her eyes softened for a moment, and then the hard and angry glitter was back. “Raif, would you take Margaret out onto the porch? I need to talk to Kasper.”

  “No, I’m not going anywhere—” the woman began.

  Taylor stepped around Kasper and was in Margaret’s face faster than I thought possible. “Listen, Margaret, I’m one step from calling the cops and having you tossed in jail. I’ve already filed a complaint against you and Kasper, and my mom and Beezie have as well. You’ve been told to stay away from us, our homes, and our businesses. But here you are, pushing your way in where you aren’t wanted. So if I were you, I’d walk my ass out onto that porch, close the door behind you, and sit quietly until Kasper and I have finished talking.” Taylor stopped.

  Margaret’s face underwent several transitions. She’d
gone red when Taylor got in her face, then white as what Taylor said about the cops must have sunk in. Now she went red again, and her anger resurfaced. “You can’t talk to me that way.”

  “I’ll talk to you any way I want. Make your choice, Margaret. The porch or the cops.”

  Margaret’s lips thinned, but she turned and stomped to the front door and out onto the porch.

  “Raif?” Taylor said to me.

  I nodded, and followed Margaret, closing the door behind me. It took everything in me not to go in and rip her out of there, away from the guy who had caused her such pain. But she had to do this for herself.

  “She’ll never stay with you,” Margaret said to me, eyeing me like I was three-day-old fish.

  “Ma’am, there is nothing we need to say to one another. I’ll ask that you be quiet.” I let the threat hang in my voice. I wouldn’t actually hurt her, but I didn’t mind scaring her. I wasn’t interested in one fucking thing she had to say.

  “She’s not interested in some big, dumb meathead,” Margaret continued as though I hadn’t spoken. “There’s not enough to keep her interested. You don’t look like you need saving, and Taylor loves to save things.” Her lip curled in a sneer.

  I wondered if she knew that she’d sneered, if she realized that she didn’t appreciate one of the really amazing things about Taylor. She was a giver, and a healer, and a saver. I got it. I’d joined the PJs for the same reason. You did it because it was the right thing to do, and it felt right to be helping others.

  Someone like Margaret wouldn’t get it. She saw it as a weakness, as something to use and exploit. And despite his wan, sad appearance, I’d bet that Kasper was in there doing the same song and dance. I crossed my arms and stared out over the yard.

  And waited.

  There were sirens in the distance, getting closer. I heard them a street over, and without warning, three squad cars turned the corner and screeched to a halt in front of the house. The officers came out, and one called, “Margaret Antony?”