Like the Back of My Halo

by Hutchinson, Heidi

  “Do you want me to hit him? Because I can totally hit him.”

  Lo's smile was blinding. “No. I don't think that's a good idea. Eventually he'll go away.”

  “And if he doesn't?”

  Her face sobered and her eyes lost focus on the center of his chest. “He will.”

  Brady didn't like Miller's fixation on Lo. Maybe it was normal for exes. Shane had an issue with one of his exes going stalker on him. But Harmony was a true whack job and ended up going to jail for corporate espionage or some shit. Would Miller try something in the same vein of crazy?

  “Do me a favor?” he asked.

  “Anything.”

  Her response and the corresponding trusting smile she gave him told him everything he needed to know. He held onto the moment. This was one of those fixed points of time that settled into your bones and marked a significant turning point.

  The rebellion and wild in her eyes still shone forth, but she wasn't pushing away from him. She was taking him with her.

  “Stick close to one of us until we get home?”

  Her face gentled, a new softness in her smile held him captive. “Of course.” She rolled up on her toes and pressed a kiss to his lips. Also soft, also captivating.

  Brady didn't know how big waves were named. It seemed to have a lot to do with the location and who found it first. If that were the case, then he knew without a doubt he had discovered the wildest and most untamed wave ever. Her name was Halo. She broke over a reef of mystery. Exploring her meant losing his balance on a regular basis. But he'd found no greater rush than the drop in on her unbroken beauty.

  ***

  Julia

  Julia had always prided herself on being a woman with very few insecurities. She knew who she was and she'd come to terms with her flaws in her youth, putting her ahead of her peers in emotional growth and development by years.

  But there was something about the nature of Halo Fredericks that caught her off guard. She'd witnessed the young woman from a distance do incredible feats on waves most people wouldn't even get near. She had figured Lo was an adrenaline chaser. Not irregular for the people Julia took photos of to pay her rent.

  But she'd been wrong.

  Julia didn't exclusively photograph athletes or extreme sport enthusiasts. She liked to think of herself as a photo taker of all things beautiful. Backpacking though unmapped forests and mountain ranges to catch a glimpse of mysterious big cats or shy timber wolves was also in her wheelhouse. Those animals, the ones who suspected they were being watched, had a particular look in their eyes.

  Curiosity and suspicion. Untamed hearts, unrepentant in their freedom.

  She saw it briefly the night before when they'd been introduced in the middle of the night due to Miller's drunken tantrum. A glimpse at the woman beneath the shell. Wild and warm and alive.

  When she'd returned that morning and found her place full of people, her response was not unlike a she-wolf coming back to her den and finding the scent of unwelcome guests.

  It was the first time in Julia's recent memory she could remember feeling shame.

  She'd been wrong about her summations. She had worried Lo might not be worthy of Brady. But seeing her up close, watching how she moved. The distrust so evident in her eyes as she held Julia's stare. And the choice to observe and absorb rather than attack.

  It unnerved Julia in the best way.

  The rest of the day had been filled with Brady and Steve catching big barrels while Nadia and Scotch pulled them out and back around to try again. Julia took several photos of the pristine waves and the athletic performances of both men. But her camera roll was more than half filled with pictures of Lo.

  Julia couldn't help it. Her instinct for excellent subject matter had been the driving force of her career and had never let her down. She learned to trust her gut and it never failed. Not when it came to pictures.

  Over and over again, Lo ended up in the viewfinder. Her dark hair blowing in the South Pacific wind, creating the darkest and most exotic halo with unusually pale eyes glowing in the center. Eyes that saw more, understood more, loved more, than other eyes of the same age.

  Julia found herself behaving the same as she would in the mountains. Cautious, unobtrusive, observational.

  To win the trust of a wild thing was a dream she'd long kept secret.

  She was rewarded for her efforts.

  By day's end, she was confident she could call Lo a friend.

  ***

  Lo

  That night, after all the equipment had been cleaned up and prepped for the morning; after dinner and the shared glories of the day and of the past; after the laughter and the new friendships being forged; Brady and Lo returned to their room where she took careful time to hold him. Trying to show him what he meant to her with her heart and her closeness.

  They lay in the dark, Brady traced a pattern on her shoulder as she rested her ear to his chest.

  “I love you,” he said, voice sleepy and content.

  She smiled and closed her eyes, feeling more home than she ever had before.

  “I think I could be at home with you anywhere,” she said.

  “Will you go on more adventures with me?” he asked, a tense hopeful quality in his voice.

  “Forever.” Her answer was as confident as her heart's cry.

  What more could a heart ask for than to journey through this world with a lover? Not simply a person with whom to make love, but a soul that loved your soul. A lover whose only hesitations lie in when to catch their breath.

  “I want you to know I won't let you down.”

  And here was one more remarkable thing about Brady Samson. He took responsibility for even the smallest of things, like her heart. He wanted it? He had it. He had her.

  His breathing evened out as he fell into a deep sleep.

  But Lo had more on her mind before she could rest. She slipped from his hold, found the laptop case against the closet door. She sat on the floor in the corner of the room where she could see Brady sleeping in the South Pacific moonlight.

  Turning the screen brightness down, she logged onto the internet and wrote her thoughts. For the first time, she was unafraid to share her heart with the world. It poured out of her, a dam of hesitation broken and releasing every hope she'd tried to keep stored away.

  Because Brady was worth every risk.

  She scheduled it to post at the end of the next day. Closing the laptop, she smiled, a new lightness in her chest. She climbed back into the covers with Brady and he immediately wrapped his arms around her. Soon after, she found sleep.

  The peaceful, hopeful, safe at home kind of rest.

  34

  Lo

  The wave began breaking fifteen feet at ten seconds.

  Scotch had been right; surfers had arrived in droves over night and the lineup was crowded. Not only in the lineup, but behind it was full of rented boats, luxury yachts, and wave runners. Probably more than a hundred people were floating offshore. Surfers, camera crews, fans, curious observers.

  The energy of the storm had a direct effect on the moods of those waiting. Lo couldn't count the amount of smiling faces and jovial greetings. One of the reasons she had found it so easy to slip into the surfing lifestyle had been the happy welcome. It was a positive sport, a beloved pastime. People in it, loved sharing it with others. Maybe it was because they were all overdosing on vitamin D daily, or maybe it was the culture and always had been.

  Lo grinned at Brady, communicating her own excitement for the day as much as possible. He shook his head like he thought she was adorable.

  She paused, savoring the feeling. Savoring the freedom.

  The freedom of being loved for who she was. She didn't have to rein it in, water it down, explain it.

  She had had no idea so much liberty existed in giving your heart to another.

  Side by side. Tethered to one another with delicate heartstrings woven from secret hopes and dreams. Share, own, protect, encourage. Sh
e wanted to give back to him all he continuously gave her.

  The swell caused her belly to dip and she looked around at the crowd.

  “The wind has changed,” she said.

  Brady frowned, maneuvering to be closer to her even as he looked towards the advancing lineup. “Might make the barrel choppy on the inside.”

  She nodded. Not unrideable, but definitely making it less stable.

  “I wonder if they'll pull riders.”

  “Can they?” Brady snorted. “I mean, I know they can try, but have you seen who's here?”

  Lo pursed her lips to keep from laughing. He wasn't wrong. A lot of the faces she'd seen and even some she'd already spoken to that day were some of the most fearless people in the industry. Ha, industry. How would the earlier storm surfing pioneers have felt if they'd known their “counter culture, extreme lifestyle hobby” would one day be referred to as an industry.

  They'd probably laugh and throw up the shaka sign right before another epic, record breaking drop in.

  She loved this life.

  The people, the sun, the positivity, the challenge. Every moment had been key in her development. Right down to showing her it was okay to fall in love and stay there.

  “But maybe it'll clear out the lineup a little. Not everyone is comfortable sitting on a twenty foot break at fifteen seconds.”

  “What?”

  Lo looked away from the bobbing and reordering lineup to see Brady staring at her.

  “What?” she asked, confused by his expression.

  “How do you know that?”

  Goosebumps broke out along her shoulders and arms. She tried to shrug them away. “I... uh... I count in my head.”

  “When?”

  “All the time.”

  Silence stretched between them and Brady's look of awe was enough to make her uncomfortable. She'd never told anyone about her compulsive counting. It was something she did for herself, not as a parlor trick.

  “I'm sorry,” he said.

  His words jerked her head back around to frown at him. “Huh?”

  He shook his head looking positively sheepish. “I'm sorry I was insanely protective in the beginning. I'm sorry you weren't with me at Mavericks. I won't make a mistake like that again.”

  The side of her mouth tugged up in a lopsided smile as her face heated to a full blush. “You see the benefit of keeping me around?”

  Brady rolled his head to the side, stretching his neck as if he were considering her words. “Mm, how about forever? You cool with that?”

  She took a deep, peaceful breath. “Yes.”

  Delighted surprise lit his eyes. Before he could recover and respond, she bent her stomach to her board and began paddling to the drop point.

  ***

  Julia

  Julia tapped Nadia on the shoulder to get her to stop. She watched Lo through her viewfinder, paddling strong. She dropped onto a twenty-five foot face that was nearly vertical, her stance and landing absolutely perfect.

  Click. Click. Click. Click.

  Julia wished she had chosen the video camera. There was something outstanding about watching the way Lo moved. Catching the still of her was only half the beauty. The wave barreled, curving, bending, roaring towards shore. Lo held it, all the way to the bottom.

  Cheers erupted from witnesses nearby. Nadia kicked the wave runner into gear and Julia held on. They swooped into the remains of the collapsed wave, Julia felt the vacuum suction of the tide trying to pull them back out to sea.

  Lo threw her board into the raft behind the wave runner and bailed in behind it. She caught Julia's eye and the two women shared a grin before Nadia was racing away from the next huge collapse.

  They cleared the crest and Lo jumped right back into the water.

  “That was amazing,” Julia complimented sincerely.

  Lo shook her head, a pleased smile on her lips that reached her eyes. “I hope I can get one more.”

  “They're getting bigger,” Nadia said, nodding at the thinning out line up.

  Lo glanced over her shoulder, swinging onto her board. “Yeah. The wind is shifting. Did Brady get one yet?”

  Nadia craned her neck over her shoulder. “Looks like Scotch is getting him now.”

  “Good.” Lo started to paddle back to the lineup.

  “Fredericks,” Julia called. Lo looked back at her. “If you set a record, I'm gonna need you to sign a waiver.” She almost said “set a record for a female rider” but realized there shouldn't and wouldn't be a difference. If Lo Fredericks was going to set a record for a paddled drop in at Cloudbreak, it was going to be a big one.

  Lo grinned and threw up the shaka sign.

  ***

  Lo

  Lo watched Brady return to the lineup. They were separated by a dozen or more people, but that kept changing as more and more surfers either abandoned the lineup or decided this was the one they wanted.

  As the waves came in, she waited, counting in her head as the swell moved in her belly.

  14...15...16...17...

  The next one, her heart told her.

  She would take the next one.

  She began to count over at one, prepping her body, checking her leash, controlling her heart rate.

  This was it.

  She paddled with more fury than she could ever remember, her shoulders propelling her forward with the massive wave. It grew beneath her and she pushed harder, not wanting to get caught on the lip and sent in reverse.

  Her blood pumped with adrenaline, filling her muscles. She gripped the rails and popped to her feet.

  The water below was a flat face of the most beautiful and deadly glass wall she'd ever seen, and too high for her to calculate feet. All she could focus on was trying to land the board on the face of the moving wall. She kept falling, time slowing down like it had when she'd come face-to-face with the shark the day before. Falling, falling, falling. Straight down, her board past vertical.

  Her body reacted to the sudden connection with practiced memory, despite the jarring impact that jolted her organs and bones.

  She curved the board down towards the bottom, crouching low in an attempt to match the speed of the wave.

  A wave that was bigger, choppier, faster, than she'd ever ridden before.

  And through all of it, she couldn't wipe the stupid grin off her face.

  ***

  Scotch

  “Sonofabitch.” Scotch Bishop shook his head in mad respect. Lo Fredericks was stupid. But she had massive balls. Of course, maybe she had no idea she was riding a forty-foot face with the elegance and ease of a shooting star in a midnight sky.

  All at once, everything shifted.

  Scotch felt it before he saw it. An instinct he'd honed during wartime. Every once in a while he would get a tingle in the back of his mind. He'd learned not to ignore it. If he ignored it, people died.

  The problem was there was no obvious threat. Not yet.

  Then the ocean turned, like a cornered animal. The tide was already getting sucked out to sea to feed the energy of the barrel Lo was riding towards shore. Shouldn't be a big deal. Lo was experienced, she knew to avoid the reef and exit the wave before she hit the shallow end of the shelf.

  But it was the rogue wave that began to build right behind her that changed everything.

  It pushed the wave Lo was on further into the shallows and she lost her balance, plunging into the foamy break.

  Scotch roared the wave runner her direction, spotting her board poking straight up and bobbing like a floating tombstone.

  Good. She should be able to climb back up her leash—

  The wave behind her disintegrated. Its roof collapsed right on the place he'd last spotted her.

  It sent her board flying, her empty leash trailing behind it.

  ***

  Brady

  Brady watched Lo take a header and his heart dropped to his stomach. But it was pulverized when he saw the surf pound her into the reef. Her lone board drifted to
safety.

  “Pull your tabs,” he muttered, afraid to move. His body was fighting his brain. He wanted to head straight for her, find her, hold her, feel her pulse and her breath. But Scotch was already down there, so was Nadia. They were pros. If he went down there now, he would be increasing the amount of people they had to rescue.

  “Pull your tabs, Lo,” he said again, not understanding why she hadn't surfaced yet.

  She'd been wearing a Soaring Bird inflatable vest under her suit. She should've pulled the tabs by now.

  The lineup around him grew eerily quiet as everyone focused on the search above the reef, wave after wave, crashing down on the search area.

  Scotch bailed off his wave runner and dove under the water. Brady's stomach twisted, a sick sour rising up his throat and into his mouth.

  Scotch emerged, Lo's limp body in his arms.

  35

  Brady

  “I don't understand why you can't tell me what the hell is going on.” Brady pounded his fist on the counter when he said “hell.”

  The nurse behind the counter arched both of her eyebrows. “You are not family. We can't release medical information without permission. Which you were already told. Now, take a seat or I will call security.”

  Julia rested a hand on Brady's forearm. “C'mon. Let's sit down.” She smiled passively at the nurse and her touch on Brady's arm turned into a not so gentle pull in the opposite direction.

  He gave in and sat down beside her on the waiting room sofa.

  “I know you're scared,” Julia started. “But getting kicked out won't help Lo.”

  Brady turned to her, the stark reality of what he was facing threatened to cripple him. “I don't know what's going on. Julia, I don't even know if she's alive.”