The Royal Book of Oz

by L. Frank Baum

  CHAPTER 5

  SIR HOKUS OF POKES

  It was long past sunup before Dorothy awoke. She rubbed her eyes,yawned once or twice, and then shook the Cowardly Lion. The gates ofthe city were open, and although it looked even grayer in the daytimethan it looked at night, the travelers were too hungry to beparticular. A large placard was posted just inside:

  THIS IS POKES! DON'T RUN! DON'T SING! TALK SLOWLY! DON'T WHISTLE! _Order of the Chief Poker._

  read Dorothy. "How cheerful! Hah, hoh, hum-mm!"

  "Don't!" begged the Cowardly Lion with tears in his eyes. "If I yawnagain, I'll swallow my tail, and if I don't have something to eatsoon, I'll do it anyway. Let's hurry! There's something queer aboutthis place, Dorothy! Ah, hah, hoh, hum-mm!"

  Stifling their yawns, the two started down the long, narrow street.The houses were of gray stone, tall and stiff with tiny barredwindows. It was absolutely quiet, and not a person was in sight. Butwhen they turned the corner, they saw a crowd of queer-looking peoplecreeping toward them. These singular individuals stopped between eachstep and stood perfectly still, and Dorothy was so surprised at theirunusual appearance that she laughed right in the middle of a yawn.

  In the first place, they never lifted their feet, but pushed themalong like skates. The women were dressed in gray polka-dot dresseswith huge poke bonnets that almost hid their fat, sleepy,wide-mouthed faces. Most of them had pet snails on strings, and soslowly did they move that it looked as though the snails were tuggingthem along.

  The men were dressed like a party of congressmen, but instead of highhats wore large red nightcaps, and they were all as solemn as owls.It seemed impossible for them to keep both eyes open at the sametime, and at first Dorothy thought they were winking at her. But asthe whole company continued to stare fixedly with one open eye, sheburst out laughing. At the unexpected sound (for no one had everlaughed in Pokes before), the women picked up their snails in a greatfright, and the men clapped their fingers to their ears or to theplaces where their ears were under the red nightcaps.

  "These must be the Slow Pokes," giggled Dorothy, nudging the CowardlyLion. "Let's go to meet them, for they'll never reach us at the ratethey are coming!"

  "There's something wrong with my feet," rumbled the Cowardly Lionwithout looking up. "Hah, hoh, hum! What's the use of hurrying?" Thefact of the matter was that they couldn't hurry if they tried.Indeed, they could hardly lift their feet at all.

  "I wish the Scarecrow were with us," sighed the Cowardly Lion,shuffling along unhappily. "He never grows sleepy, and he alwaysknows what to do."

  "No use wishing," yawned Dorothy. "I only hope he's not as lost as weare."

  By struggling hard, they just managed to keep moving, and by the timethey came up with the Slow Pokes, they were completely worn out. Across-looking Poke held up his arm threateningly, and Dorothy and theCowardly Lion stopped.

  "You--" said the Poke; then closed his mouth and stood staringvacantly for a whole minute.

  "Are--" He brought out the word with a perfectly enormous yawn, andDorothy began fanning the Cowardly Lion with her hat, for he showedsigns of falling asleep again.

  "What?" she asked crossly.

  "Under--" sighed the Poke after a long pause, and Dorothy, seeingthat there was no hurrying him, began counting to herself. Just asshe reached sixty, the Poke pushed back his red nightcap and shouted:

  "Arrest!"

  "Arrest!" shouted all the other Pokes so loud that the Cowardly Lionroused himself with a start, and the pet snails stuck out theirheads. "A rest? A rest is not what we want! We want breakfast!"growled the lion irritably and started to roar, but a yawn spoiledit. (One simply cannot look fierce by yawning.)

  "You--" began the Poke. But Dorothy could not stand hearing the sameslow speech again. Putting her fingers in her ears, she shouted back:

  "What for?"

  The Pokes regarded her sternly. Some even opened both eyes. Then theone who had first addressed them, covering a terrific gape with onehand, pointed with the other to a sign on a large post at the cornerof the street.

  "Speed limit 1/4 mile an hour" said the sign.

  "We're arrested for speeding!" shouted Dorothy in the Cowardly Lion'sear.

  "Did you say feeding?" asked the poor lion, waking up with a start."If I go to sleep again before I'm fed, I'll starve to death!"

  "Then keep awake," yawned Dorothy. By this time, the Pokes hadsurrounded them and were waving them imperiously ahead. They lookedso threatening that Dorothy and the Cowardly Lion began to creep inthe direction of a gloomy, gray castle. Of the journey neither ofthem remembered a thing, for with the gaping and yawning Pokes it wasalmost impossible to keep awake. But they must have walked in theirsleep, for the next thing Dorothy knew, a harsh voice called slowly:

  "Poke--him!"

  Greatly alarmed, Dorothy opened her eyes. They were in a huge stonehall hung all over with rusty armor, and seated on a great stonechair, snoring so loudly that all the steel helmets rattled, was aKnight. The tallest and crossest of the Pokes rushed at him with along poker, giving him such a shove that he sprawled to the floor.

  "So--" yawned the Cowardly Lion, awakened by the clatter, "Knight hasfallen!"

  "Prisoners--Sir Hokus!" shouted the Chief Poker, lifting the Knight'splume and speaking into the helmet as if he were telephoning.

  The Knight arose with great dignity, and after straightening hisarmor, let down his visor, and Dorothy saw a kind, timid face withmelancholy blue eyes--not at all Pokish, as she explained to Ozmalater.

  "What means this unwonted clamor?" asked Sir Hokus, peering curiouslyat the prisoners.

  "We're sorry to waken you," said Dorothy politely, "but could youplease give us some breakfast?"

  "A lot!" added the Cowardly Lion, licking his chops.

  "It's safer for me to sing," said the Knight mournfully, and throwingback his head, he roared in a high, hoarse voice:

  "Don't yawn! Don't yawn! We're out of breath-- Begone--BEGONE Or die the death!"

  The Cowardly Lion growled threateningly and began lashing his tail.

  "If he weren't in a can, I'd eat him," he rumbled, "but I never couldabide tinned meat."

  "He's not in a can, he's in armor," explained Dorothy, too interestedto pay much attention to the Cowardly Lion, for at the first note ofthe Knight's song, the Pokes began scowling horribly, and by the timehe had finished they were backing out of the room faster than Dorothyever imagined they could go.

  "So that's why the sign said don't sing," thought Dorothy to herself.The air seemed clearer somehow, and she no longer felt sleepy.

  When the last Poke had disappeared, the Knight sighed and climbedgravely back on his stone chair.

  "My singing makes them very wroth. In faith, they cannot enduremusic; it wakens them," explained Sir Hokus. "But hold, 'twas foodyou asked of me. Breakfast, I believe you called it." With an uneasyglance at the Cowardly Lion, who was sniffing the air hungrily, theKnight banged on his steel armor with his sword, and a fat, lazy Pokeshuffled slowly into the hall.

  "Pid, bring the stew," roared Sir Hokus as the Poke stood blinking atthem dully.

  "Stew, Pid!" he repeated loudly, and began to hum under his breath,at which Pid fairly ran out of the room, returning in a few minuteswith a large yellow bowl. This he handed ungraciously to Dorothy.Then he brought a great copper tub of the stuff for the Cowardly Lionand retired sulkily.

  Dorothy thought she had never tasted anything more delicious. TheCowardly Lion was gulping down his share with closed eyes, and both,I am very sorry to say, forgot even to thank Sir Hokus.

  "Are you perchance a damsel in distress?"

  Quite startled, Dorothy looked up from her bowl and saw the Knightregarding her wistfully.

  "She's in Pokes, and that's the same thing," said the Cowardly Lionwithout opening his eyes.

  "We're lost," began the little girl, "but--"

  There was something so quaint a
nd gentle about the Knight, that shesoon found herself talking to him like an old friend. She told himall of their adventures since leaving the Emerald City and even toldabout the disappearance of the Scarecrow.

  "Passing strange, yet how refreshing," murmured Sir Hokus. "And if Iseem a little behind times, you must not blame me. For centuries, Ihave dozed in this gray castle, and it cometh over me that thingshave greatly changed. This beast now, he talks quite manfully, andthis Kingdom that you mention, this Oz? Never heard of it!"

  "Never heard of Oz?" gasped the little girl. "Why, you're a subjectof Oz, and Pokes is in Oz, though I don't know just where."

  Here Dorothy gave him a short history of the Fairy country, and ofthe many adventures she had had since she had come there. Sir Hokuslistened with growing melancholy.

  "To think," he sighed mournfully, "that I was prisoner here while allthat was happening!"

  "Are _you_ a prisoner?" asked Dorothy in surprise. "I thought you wereKing of the Pokes!"

  "Uds daggers!" thundered Sir Hokus so suddenly that Dorothy jumped."I am a _knight!"_

  Seeing her startled expression, he controlled himself. "I was aknight," he continued brokenly. "Long centuries ago, mounted on mygoodly steed, I fared from my father's castle to offer my sword to amighty king. His name?" Sir Hokus tapped his forehead uncertainly."Go to, I have forgot."

  "Could it have been King Arthur?" exclaimed Dorothy, wide-eyed withinterest. "Why, just think of your being still alive!"

  "That's just the point," choked the Knight. "I've been alive--still,so still that I've forgotten everything. Why, I can't even rememberhow I used to talk," he confessed miserably.

  "But how did you get here?" rumbled the Cowardly Lion, who did notlike being left out of the conversation.

  "I had barely left my father's castle before I met a stranger," saidSir Hokus, sitting up very straight, "who challenged me to battle. Ispurred my horse forward, our lances met, and the stranger wasunseated. But by my faith, 'twas no mortal Knight." Sir Hokus sigheddeeply and lapsed into silence.

  "What happened?" asked Dorothy curiously, for Sir Hokus seemed tohave forgotten them.

  "The Knight," said he with another mighty sigh, "struck the groundwith his lance and cried, 'Live Wretch, for centuries in thestupidest country out of the world,' and disappeared. And here--hereI am!" With a despairing gesture, Sir Hokus arose, big tearssplashing down his armor.

  "I feel that I am brave, very brave, but how am I to know until Ihave encountered danger? Ah, friends, behold in me a Knight who hasnever had a real adventure, never killed a dragon, nor championed aLady, nor gone on a Quest!"

  Dropping on his knees before the little girl, Sir Hokus took herhand. "Let me go with you on this Quest for the valiant Scarecrow.Let me be your good Night!" he begged eagerly.

  "Good night," coughed the Cowardly Lion, who, to tell the truth, wasfeeling a bit jealous. But Dorothy was thrilled, and as Sir Hokuscontinued to look at her pleadingly, she took off her hair ribbon andbound it 'round his arm.

  "You shall be my own true Knight, and I your Lady Fair!" sheannounced solemnly, and exactly as she had read in books.

  At this interesting juncture the Cowardly Lion gave a tremendousyawn, and Sir Hokus with an exclamation of alarm jumped to his feet.The Pokes had returned to the hall, and Dorothy felt herself fallingasleep again.

  Up, up, my lieges and away! We take the field again-- For Ladies fair we fight today And KING! Up, up, my merry men!

  shrilled the Knight as if he were leading an army to battle. ThePokes opened both eyes, but did not immediately retire. Sir Hokusbravely swallowed a yawn and hastily clearing his throat shoutedanother song, which he evidently made up on the spur of the moment:

  Avaunt! Be off! Be gone--Methinks We'll be asleep in forty winks!

  This time the Pokes left sullenly, but the effect of their presencehad thrown Dorothy, the Cowardly Lion, and the Knight into a violentfit of the gapes.

  "If I fall asleep, nothing can save you," said Sir Hokus in anagitated voice. "Hah, hoh, hum! Hah--!"

  The Knight's eyes closed.

  "Don't do it, don't do it!" begged Dorothy, shaking him violently."Can't we run away?"

  "I've been trying for five centuries," wailed the Knight in adiscouraged voice, "but I always fall asleep before I reach the gate,and they bring me back here. They're rather fond of me in their slowway," he added apologetically.

  "Couldn't you keep singing?" asked the Cowardly Lion anxiously, forthe prospect of a five-century stay in Pokes was more than he couldbear.

  "Couldn't we _all_ sing?" suggested Dorothy. "Surely all three of uswon't fall asleep at once."

  "I'm not much of a singer," groaned the Cowardly Lion, beginning totremble, "but I'm willing to do my share!"

  "I like you," said Sir Hokus, going over and thumping the CowardlyLion approvingly on the back. "You ought to be knighted!"

  The lion blinked his eyes, for Sir Hokus' iron fist bruised himseverely, but knowing it was kindly meant, he bore it bravely.

  "I am henceforth a beknighted lion," he whispered to Dorothy whileSir Hokus was straightening his armor. Next the Knight took down aniron poker, which he handed to Dorothy.

  "To wake us up with," he explained. "And now, Lady Dorothy, if youare ready, we will start on the Quest for the honorable Scarecrow,and remember, everybody sing--_Sing for your life!"_