by K E Osborn
“Will do. Thanks, Mom.”
Pulling in a deep breath, I open the front doors to the first customer of the day. I swallow hard at the mention of her name, Bree, but take her to the workstation she’s been assigned. I can already tell this day is going to be hell.
As the day progresses, my mood doesn’t improve. Mom keeps watching me, almost hovering, but I ignore her and attempt to remain busy.
Without out warning, it happens.
My breaking point.
Over the loudspeakers, Bon Jovi plays “Thank You for Loving Me.” Immediately, my heart pounds and honestly, I feel faint. It’s all I can do to hold myself together.
I look to Mom who gazes at me knowingly. I shake my head trying hard to keep the tears at bay. Damn them! I need to escape. I need to get away from the music and the memories of him. So, I rush outside into the street, where the wind smacks my face only making it harder for me to breathe. My heart hammers while I lean against a pole and try to suck in a long, deep breath.
Mom steps outside to comfort me, placing her hand on my back. I turn and hug her tightly. She holds me while the emotion of being without my soul mate becomes too much to bear.
“Oh fuck,” Mom murmurs quietly. “Jeni, let’s go back inside.” She ushers me toward the door of the salon with a strong push.
“Why? What’s going on?” I raise an eyebrow at her sudden frantic movements.
“Jeni, just go inside. Please,” Mom begs as she looks past me.
My chest tightens, but I spin around, following her line of sight down the street. Mike’s car has pulled up at the restaurant next to the salon. Mike steps out to open the back door. Aiden slides effortlessly out of the vehicle, and a young, very thin, ridiculously pretty brunette gracefully joins him.
My eyes widen, and my bottom lip trembles ever so slightly.
“Jeni, go inside.”
I continue to look at Aiden and the gorgeous model-type who’s accompanying him. Aiden’s cleanly shaven. His hair is disheveled but in that good way that I loved, and he looks deliciously gorgeous. He edges his hand down on her lower back and walks with her inside the restaurant.
A loud grunt escapes me as jealousy floods every single fiber of my being.
Who the fuck is she?
Mike’s eyes shift, turning and focusing on me. He smiles, nodding his head once as Aiden walks into the restaurant with his new girl without even noticing me.
“Didn’t take him long,” I whisper, my face contorted in disgust.
Mike frowns, something registering on his face, then he turns, rushing inside the restaurant after Aiden.
“Mom, I have to leave.”
“Of course, honey.”
I run inside the salon, grab my bag, and hurry back out to the street to jump into my car. Shoving the keys in the ignition, Mike and Aiden quickly rush out of the restaurant looking directly at me. My hands shake, a cold sweat invades my skin, so I cast my eyes down, start my car, then slam hard on the accelerator, speeding off before they can reach me. Glancing in the rearview mirror as I drive away, I see Aiden in the middle of the street watching me. Clear defeat in his features. My heart pummels in my chest as I turn dramatically down a side street, then pull up with such force, my tires smash into the curb. I let out a heaving breath as I shove my head in my hands, flopping onto the steering wheel.
How could he move on so quickly?
Aiden was a mess when I left, and now he seems fine, and I’m the mess? Guess this is what karma feels like. I’m so damn stupid. Of course, he’s going to move on. He is, after all, one of the most eligible bachelors in all of Mornington Vale, and there are a swarm of willing women out there ready to latch on.
I smack the steering wheel in frustration a few times, then flop back in my seat. Eventually, I calm myself and gather enough strength to make my way back to Sarah’s. Slowly, I walk in the front door and down the hallway. Music’s playing in the living room, but Sarah and Chris are nowhere to be seen.
Immediately, I know where they are—damn, I so don’t want to hear that right now. Walking to the bathroom, I strip down and take a long, hot shower, letting the water cascade over my body. I see the image again in my head—Aiden and that pretty bitch, with his hand on her back.
Eventually, my frustrations get the better of me, and I slide down the wall into an emotional ball on the shower floor.
Who’s the fool now?
My head is pounding, and I have sore, puffy eyes. I can’t decide if I’m going to work today or not, knowing I won’t be of any use to my mom with the mood I’m in.
My phone beeps, and I check to see who it is.
Mom: Morning honey, just wondering if you’re coming in today? We could really use a hand if you’re able, it’s going to be hectic. I love you so much. xxx
Instantly, guilt overruns me about wallowing instead of being where I am supposed to be. Getting out of bed without another thought, I hit Reply.
Jenifer: Hi, Mom. Yes, of course, I’ll be in. I love you too. xx
In a rush, I get ready and make my way to work, feeling weighed down with the lingering emotions.
Walking casually into the salon but with my head down, Mom rushes over, throwing her arms around me. “Hey, honey, how are you feeling?”
“I’m fine,” I lie as I make my way to the reception desk. She smiles but says nothing more.
Somehow, I manage to work without incident into the late afternoon when a customer walks into the salon who I recognize.
“Jenifer?” she asks.
“Sandy… it’s so good to see you. How are you?” I give the helpful nurse, after Jason beat me, a massive hug.
“Good, thanks. You look much better physically than you did last time I saw you. How are you holding up otherwise?” She holds me at arm’s length, her eyes moving over my body.
“I’m…” Words fail me.
She winces at my hesitation. “Oh, Jeni… I told you to call me anytime. I meant it.” Even though I do my hair and makeup for work, it’s not enough to really hide how I’ve been dealing with everything or the healing my body is still going through.
“Do you have an appointment?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “No. Actually, I was just walking by and thought I would come in to make one.”
“Well, I can help you with that.”
“What time do you finish? We should get coffee, and you can fill me in with what’s been happening in your life.”
“I’d like that, a lot. Actually, I could probably head out now. My mom owns the salon. I’m sure she won’t mind if I skip out ten minutes early.”
“Sounds great.” Sandy smiles brightly.
After getting permission from Mom to leave a few minutes early, I gather my things, and Sandy and I walk across the street to the café where we sit and order coffee.
“Tell me… how’s Aiden?” I frown. “Uh-oh. Tell me everything.”
“Where do I start?”
“The beginning is usually a good place. I remember there were some issues.”
“I guess there’s some residual frustration. I blame him for what Jason…” I pause because even when I say it, it sounds so wrong, “… did to me.”
“Jeni, how’s this Aiden’s fault?” She scratches her head, and her eyebrows pull tightly together.
“If he didn’t leave me alone when Jason came for me, then maybe he could’ve saved me from this nightmare repeating over and over in my brain. I get no relief from it, Sandy.”
“You feel frustration toward Aiden because he wasn’t there to protect you?” I nod my head. “Can I ask why he wasn’t in the apartment at the time?”
I swallow hard, I guess I hadn’t thought about that part of the equation. “Because I’d broken a glass and cut my feet. Aiden was getting bandages for my cuts from his mother’s apartment.”
“Right, so now you’ve said that out loud, can you see how absurd it is that you’re blaming him?” I open my eyes wide with shock. “To me it sounds like h
e left the apartment to take care of you. I think that’s all he’s ever wanted to do, take care of you. He was gone for a moment, and something terrible happened in that moment that was completely out of his control. Aiden loves you, that was painfully obvious to me in the hospital, and I can tell from looking at you that you miss him terribly. You’re showing classic signs of PTSD, Jeni, and you’re using what happened to you as an excuse not to get hurt in any way again. Physically or emotionally.”
Sandy’s making me see the situation differently. Sometimes you need a stranger to make you see things straight—to make me see that maybe I have been wrong this whole damn time.
Gnawing on my bottom lip, my heart races a little faster. “I thought perhaps I might have PTSD. I’ve done a little research online because even I know I’m not thinking rationally. Even when I say it myself, I know I’m blaming the wrong person. I miss Aiden so much, and I know my thinking isn’t logical. I just don’t know why I’m doing this, Sandy.”
“So why are you here with me and not with him?” she asks, raising her brow with a smile.
I sigh slumping my shoulders. “He has a new girlfriend.”
She narrows her eyes and tilts her head to one side. “Are you sure?”
“Pretty sure. I saw Aiden with her yesterday.”
“How do you know, though?”
“I saw him walking into a restaurant. Aiden was talking with her and guiding her in with his hand on her back like he used to do with me.”
She lets out a small laugh. “Jeni, it could’ve been anyone. A business associate or a new client.”
Oh, I guess I didn’t think of that.
A song plays in the café, “Six Degrees of Separation” by The Script. I listen intently to the lyrics. How fitting—it’s exactly what I’ve been going through, and maybe right now, in this minute, I’m at the sixth degree of separation. I’m starting to see that perhaps I’ve fucked up.
“Sandy, do you think he still loves me?”
She smiles. “Of course, he does. You don’t just wake up one day and stop loving someone. Especially considering the intensity of the love Aiden has for you.”
Have I been out of my mind?
He’s special—a kind, caring man, who’s done nothing but love and adore me.
Oh my God!
“My mind has been tormenting me with crazy images of Aiden that simply aren’t true.”
“Perhaps, after all is said and done, Aiden is an exception and proof all men are not the same. Your mind is not always your best friend, Jeni, but your heart guides you, and you should listen to it.”
It hits me like a tidal wave.
Hard.
Unwavering.
Resolute.
Aiden’s not just an exception, he is my exception!
Realizing what I need to do, I stand abruptly, my chair almost toppling backward with the sudden movement.
She smiles and nods. “Go get him, Jeni.”
“Thanks so much, Sandy.” I kiss her on the cheek, turn, and sprint. My feet pound hard on the pavement, running as fast as I can down the block to O’Connell Finance. My legs ache, and I’m completely out of breath by the time I reach the parking garage. I’m so unfit these days, probably from the lack of food and complete absence from any sort of physical exercise because I am too busy feeling sorry for my damn self.
Well, it stops.
Right here.
Right now.
I need Aiden by my side.
The concept of being without him is now unfathomable.
I spot Mike and dash over to him. “Mike. Mike, is he here?” I yell.
He smiles brightly as his eyes meet mine. “Yes, he’s in his office. It’s so good to see you, Miss. Taylor.”
“You, too, Mike,” I blurt out while running past him.
I take the stairs two at a time and run through the sliding door into the main foyer. It’s strange not seeing Josie at her desk, but I continue to the elevator ignoring that fact.
My foot taps impatiently as I ride the elevator. The doors open to Aiden’s floor, and I spot that pretty brunette bitch sitting at my desk.
Damn, she must be his new personal assistant.
“Bree,” I call out.
Her eyes widen with excitement as she looks at me and points. “He’s in the boardroom.”
Puffing loudly, I swing the door open wide and step in. A room full of businessmen glance up and stare at me, including Niall, who has a look of complete and utter disgust written all over his face.
I look directly at Aiden, who’s glaring at me. “Aiden, I’m so sorry…” I pant a few times trying to catch my breath, “… I love you,” I spill out in front of a boardroom full of clients. I bend over and rest my hands on my knees breathing heavily.
Aiden exhales calmly. “Excuse me.” He walks over, takes me by the arm, and guides me away from the boardroom. A spark ignites the second he touches me, sending a shiver up my spine and a jolt straight between my legs. We haven’t lost that pull, that energy between us. It’s still there.
“Jeni, you’ve just burst in on an important meeting.” He can’t look me in the eye, and anxiety starts to seep into my veins like a shadow of dread.
“Did you hear what I said, Aiden? I’m so sorry for being such an idiot and blaming you. It’s not your fault, I get that now. It’s no one’s fault. I’m sorry! I don’t know why I didn’t see it sooner. Can we just—”
“You broke me,” he interrupts loudly. I grimace, shaking my head slightly. “You. Broke. Me, Jeni,” he reiterates, this time in a softer voice but with his head hanging down.
My chest constricts at his hard-hitting words. Everyone in the boardroom is watching as Brielle and the pretty PA are listening in on our conversation.
I rub at my throat because it feels like it’s closing. My breathing quickens, but it’s so shallow I wonder if I’m inhaling any oxygen at all. “Aiden, I’m so sorry.” I take hold of his hand as tears well in my eyes in despair of the situation I’m now finding myself in.
I am too late!
Aiden pulls away. “I can’t, Jeni. I’m leaving.”
My skin flushes icy cold as I watch him in shock.
He can’t leave.
“Where are you going?” I ask, a single tear runs down my cheek.
“Tokyo.”
“I thought your father was taking that trip?” In confusion, I shake my head slightly.
“He was, but then I said I’d go when you…” he sighs, “… left me. Jeni, I’m moving there.”
The floor opens up like an endless chasm, darkness swirls beneath, and my heart falls down into its depths, crushing it into dust. My mouth drops open in disbelief as my entire body shakes violently.
I’m going to lose him forever.
“When?” It comes out as a breathy whimper.
He bites his bottom lip, still not looking at me. “Tomorrow.”
As a wave of unimaginable regret surges through me, I stumble on the spot, almost losing my footing.
“I think you should go.”
Aiden’s voice is cold.
Distant.
Heartless.
He turns and heads into his office.
As he closes the door, I stumble again. He seems to have closed the door on us as well. Not being able to move, the heaviness of this information weighs me down on the spot, while everyone stares at me. For some stupid reason, I simply stand and continue to stare at his closed office door, hoping and praying that it will reopen, and he will walk back out to me saying everything will be okay.
Pretty PA stares at me, biting her bottom lip as mine starts to tremble.
Brielle stands and walks over. “Jeni, I’m so sorry, but I think you’re too late.” A tear escapes, running down her cheek.
I take her hand in mine. “I miss you, Bree. I miss everyone but especially Aiden.” I take a deep breath and try to compose myself.
“We miss you, too, Jeni. Especially him.” Brielle wipes a tear away from her
cheek.
“Guess I fucked up big time.”
“Maybe he’ll come around. I’ll talk to him.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m obviously too late. I deserve everything I get. I have been more than a little irrational, and I guess Aiden couldn’t cope with my stupidity.”
I’m more than frustrated with myself. How could I have been this ridiculous for so long? I squeeze Brielle and then turn for the elevator, push the button, and look back at Aiden’s closed office door, but there’s nothing. The elevator dings, catching my attention, so I spin back and enter completely deflated.
Why did I leave it so long to realize how I felt?
What the hell was wrong with me?
Now I’ve lost the only man I will ever truly love.
My heart and soul belong to Aiden, but I have no one to blame but myself.
Stepping through the main foyer, I drag myself to the parking garage to say goodbye to Mike. He’s standing at the top of the stairs like he’s waiting, but when he sees me, his face falls into the deepest of frowns.
With a quick step, I walk over embracing him in a hug, and that’s when I realize I am no longer scared. It was a coping mechanism. A really fucking bad one. And now because of it, I’ve not only lost the love of my life, but the family I so desperately love as well. This whole thing was all conjured up in my mind, and now I am paying the price I deserve to pay.
“I’m guessing it didn’t go so well?” Mike asks.
“No, not so well,” I mumble.
Mike holds onto me tightly, hugging me like the father I never had.
“He’s leaving,” I whisper.
“I know. Tomorrow.”
There’s nothing I can do.
“I realized too late, Mike.” He frowns. “Thanks… for everything.”
“Anytime, Miss Taylor. Just so you know, I was rooting for you two.”
I nod, pull from his embrace, sniffle, and turn to walk the block from O’Connell Finance back toward my car. A constant stream of tears flow down my face, pooling at my chin and drop to the ground. As I reach my car in front of the salon, I think how fitting it is that another storm is heading into Mornington Vale. It always seems to rain when I feel miserable.
