Always With Me

by Barbara Freethy

  "Why would you ask that?"

  "Because there was tension between you and Gianna, which seems weird, since you pulled her out of the lake. But I'm guessing today isn't the first time you've met, is it?"

  "No. We knew each other when we were teenagers. She was here the summer I came to camp. We were friends and then we were enemies."

  "Does she have something to do with the fact that you got kicked out of camp?"

  "Yes." He'd never told Hunter exactly what had happened, only that he'd gotten into trouble and had been asked to leave.

  "Care to elaborate?"

  "There's not much to say. She accused me of stealing her necklace. I had foolishly taken it once before as a joke, so when it disappeared again, I got blamed. But I didn't do it. By then, I knew how much it meant to her. It was the only thing she had from her biological mother. Anyway, once I knew the story, I felt horrible that I'd ever used it to tease her. But she didn't believe me. No one did. And, in case you were wondering, she still thinks I'm a thief. She has not changed her mind in the last fourteen years."

  "Sounds like kid stuff."

  "It was, and it wasn't…"

  Hunter's eyebrow lifted in question. "You two were having a summer romance?"

  "We were. Then we weren't."

  "And this is the first time you've seen her since then?"

  "Yes. I couldn't believe it was her when I pulled her out of the water. It felt like a dream."

  "Or a nightmare?" Hunter suggested with a sly grin.

  "Maybe. By the way, thanks for volunteering me to take the rest of the stuff to her store. Now I have to see her again."

  Hunter laughed and gave him a knowing look. "You want to see her again, if for no other reason than to prove she was wrong about you."

  "I don't think there's a way to prove that. I'm not going to waste time trying. Anyway, shall we go through the lodge and talk about the plans? We have to submit the preliminary drawings to the planning commission by next week if we want to get on the July review schedule."

  "Which we do." Hunter walked over to the mantel and waved his hand toward the engraving of a train and the inscription—All who are lost are now found. "I wanted to talk to you about how we can preserve this wall or use the engraving and the slogan in another way. I read a lot about the camp's history, about the Orphan Train used in the 1920's to transport orphans to Western towns. The train broke down just north of Whisper Lake, and the kids ended up spending the winter here, doubling the town's population in one big snowstorm."

  "And when the spring came, the kids stayed with their new families," he continued, knowing the story well. "Tom Rowland made a point of saying that the camp would always be welcome to anyone who was lost, whether it be physically or emotionally. Those who needed a home, a family, would always find it here. That was true for me. I felt lost when I came to this camp after my dad died. And it changed me. It was a time of healing. I think we need to keep this wall intact and perhaps build even further off the theme."

  "I agree. I like the idea a lot. Is that why you took this job, Zach? Do you need to heal again after Rebecca? After the fire?"

  "Yes." He sucked in a breath at the reminder, but his reasons for coming to the lake were more complicated than Hunter knew. He needed to fill him in; he just wasn't quite ready. "Let's get to work."

  After returning to the antiques shop, Gianna got help unloading the truck from Kellan Ferguson, a nineteen-year-old, red-haired, college kid who worked in the store part-time, mostly handling pickups and deliveries. But a college final had prevented Kellan from making the run up to the camp.

  Hopefully, Zach would help unload the items on his truck when he brought them by later. She wasn't looking forward to that, but first things first. She needed a shower and some dry clothes. While the drive back from the camp had settled her nerves, there were still too many questions rocketing through her mind, all of them having to do with Zach's unexpected return.

  She couldn't stop thinking about him, about those troubling scars on his chest… He'd been through something terrible and painful, and her heart hurt for him, which was strange since she'd spent so much time hating him.

  Pushing him out of her mind, she headed up to her apartment. After a long shower, she put on black leggings and a T-shirt and then went back downstairs to see how she wanted to organize what she'd picked up from the camp.

  The sound of a car turning in to the back lot made her heart jump, but when she opened the door, she saw the silver SUV belonging to her mother, Jeannie Campbell. As her mom got out, her heart filled with love for the tall, willowy brunette whose smile had always made her feel better, and today was no exception.

  "Mom." She hurried forward to give her mother a hug. "I said I was going to come by tomorrow night to see you and Dad."

  "Well, I couldn't wait, and I was afraid you might not actually make it. Yesterday you were too tired, and you wanted to work in the store tonight. I couldn't help wondering if you were avoiding us."

  She looked into her mom's warm brown eyes and felt a wave of guilt. "Sorry. I guess I'm a little embarrassed."

  "Oh, honey. You have nothing to be embarrassed about."

  "Three failed engagements would say otherwise. Dad is disappointed in me. I could hear it in his voice when I told you both the wedding was off, and I haven't spoken to him since. He's been busy every time I've called."

  "That's a coincidence."

  "Is it? It's been three months. How busy can he be?"

  "Your dad wants you to be happy, as do I. You haven't found the right person yet, and that's okay. Better a failed engagement than a failed marriage."

  "I know that's what you think, but it's not what Dad thinks, is it?"

  "Your dad needs a little more time," her mom said lightly. "He'll get to the same realization when he thinks about it long enough. He's just worried about you, Gianna."

  "Maybe he has reason to be. I ran into Jeremy in town. He was practically gleeful at the fact that I'd called off yet another wedding. He told me I clearly have a problem with commitment."

  "Well, Jeremy is an ass," her mother said bluntly. "Don't let him get to you."

  "He wasn't wrong, but he is also an ass," she said, exchanging a smile with her mom. "Do you want to come into the store?"

  "Actually, since you said you weren't free to see us until tomorrow night, your dad and I are going to a birthday party for Linda Glenn. You can come if you want."

  "I'm not really up for a party," she said, especially not one with a bunch of gossipy women like Linda Glenn. "I'm going to ease my way into town life."

  "I figured you'd say that, so I brought you something." She moved back to her car.

  "That wasn't necessary."

  "It was necessary. I wanted you to feel like you're at home, even if you have decided not to stay with us." Her mom pulled out a casserole dish and put it in her arms. "I made you a lasagna."

  "My favorite. You're the best."

  "I really am," her mom said with a laugh.

  "You are. And I decided to stay here because it's more convenient, and the apartment is empty."

  "You're also dreading talking to your dad. I know Dave can have strong opinions, especially when it comes to your choices, but he loves you no matter what. You two need to have a long conversation."

  "We will."

  Her mom grabbed another bag from the car. "I also have garlic bread and the fixings for salad."

  "It smells wonderful. But you didn't have to go to the trouble to cook for me. You're so busy right now."

  "I ended up getting off a little earlier today, and I made a second lasagna for Linda's party." Her mother paused. "Have you spoken to Jeff?"

  "Not since I gave him back his ring several months ago, and I don't expect that I will. Now that I'm no longer working for his company, we'll never run into each other. I also realized after the breakup how few friends we had together. So, it's not like I lost much there. But it's still sad, and I feel guilty for string
ing him along."

  "I don't think that's what you did. You just changed your mind."

  "You're being very supportive."

  "I will always have your back, Gianna. And this painful period will pass."

  "Not soon enough," she said with a sigh.

  "Shall I carry this in for you?"

  "I can take it." She put the grocery bag on top of the casserole. "Have fun at the party."

  As her mom hopped into the car, she went back inside. Not wanting to go all the way upstairs, she stashed the lasagna in the storeroom refrigerator and decided to dig into the boxes she'd picked up at the camp. While her aunt would be the final arbiter on the furniture, if there was nothing worth selling in the boxes, she could get rid of the trash in tomorrow's pickup.

  She opened the first box and discovered it was filled with photos. She spent a good thirty minutes picking out her friends in old camp pictures and looking for shots of herself. Eventually, she found one of herself standing in front of an easel on the porch in front of the lodge during art class. Zach was looking over her shoulder at her painting, and his hand was on her back.

  That moment in time flashed into her head. She could feel the heat of his fingers through her thin top. And she remembered thinking if she turned her head, their lips would touch, he was that close. She drew in a breath and let it out. What the hell was going on? Why was she still so affected by his memory? She'd dated other men. She'd told three of those men she loved them, and she would marry them.

  So why the sudden obsession with Zach again? Was it just because she was feeling so lost right now? Was she looking for some answer to the problems in her life in a very old crush?

  But Zach was not the answer to any problem—in fact, he'd always been the problem. She tossed the pictures into the box and set it aside, then moved on to the next one, only to find more photos.

  Before she could look through them, her phone buzzed with a text from Zach that he was almost at the store. Her pulse leapt with excitement at the thought of seeing him again, while her brain cautioned her not to forget how much he'd hurt her.

  She told him to park in the back and then returned her attention to the box at hand, happy to have a distraction.

  These pictures were much older, probably going back thirty-five to forty years. She wondered if her parents were in any of the photos. Her dad had gone to the camp when he was a kid.

  As she picked up a close-up shot of a teenage girl standing by the pier, her gaze caught on the chain at her neck, on the glittering gold locket, and her heart stopped.

  The locket looked exactly like the one she'd lost.

  It probably didn't mean anything, she told herself. It wasn't like she had a one-of-a-kind locket. But it was still so strange to see it around the neck of someone else. The girl had blonde hair. She looked to be about sixteen. There was something about her expression that felt vaguely familiar.

  "Gianna."

  She jumped at the sound of her name. She'd been so engrossed in the photo she hadn't heard Zach park in the lot or open the door.

  He gave her a funny look. "Everything okay?"

  "I—I don't know."

  "What are you looking at?" He walked over to her. "Where's that photo from?"

  "It's from the boxes I picked up at the camp. This girl—look at her neck." She pointed to the locket. "That necklace looks like the one I had."

  He frowned at the picture. "You think this girl took your locket?"

  "No. The picture is old. All the photos in this box are from thirty or forty years ago. There are dates on some of them, but you can also tell by the clothes and the faded images."

  "So, she had a locket just like yours. What's the big deal? Was the locket that unique?"

  "Not really. I don't know," she muttered, as a wild thought ran through her head.

  His speculative gaze returned to her face. "What are you thinking?"

  "It's crazy."

  "Say it."

  "I told you that the locket was the only thing I had from my biological mother. This girl, she kind of looks like me…"

  Awareness dawned in his eyes as he met her gaze. "You think this girl is your mother?"

  "I told you it was a crazy idea." She drew in a breath. "But what if she is?"

  Chapter Four

  Zach stared back at her, an unreadable expression on his face. Gianna didn't know if he thought she was insane or on to something. She didn't know, either. "Now it's your turn to talk," she suggested. "Do you think she looks like me?"

  He glanced at the photo once more. "I don't know. The picture is old and grainy. Was your biological mother a local girl?"

  "I was told she was not, but the camp has never been just for locals. She could have gone there from anywhere."

  "Do you know anything else about her?"

  "She was a teenager when she had me. That's it. And there's no information on my father. It was a closed adoption."

  "I thought that even closed adoptions could be opened after a certain age. Have you ever tried to find her?"

  "I haven't."

  Surprise flashed in his eyes as he met her gaze. "Why not? You told me back at camp that you wanted to find her one day. What stopped you?"

  "I was going to look for her when I turned eighteen, but the summer after I graduated from high school, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. The next year was all about chemo and desperately praying that she wouldn’t die. I put all thoughts of my biological mother out of my head. I couldn't abandon the woman who had raised me, and it felt like a betrayal to even want to know the person who didn't want me. I decided to leave her in the past."

  "That makes sense. How is your mom now?"

  "She's good. She's in remission. And hopefully she stays that way."

  "I'm glad."

  "Me, too. I really thought I had put all those questions out of my head. But now…" She glanced back at the photo. "I'd like to know who this girl is."

  "Maybe you can find out. But if you start asking questions, you won't be leaving your past in the past."

  "I know. But my past seems to be coming back in different ways—not just with this picture but also with you. I never expected to see you again, Zach."

  "I'm sure that would have been your preference."

  "I always thought so. But…" She shook her head, not sure what she wanted to say.

  "But," he pressed, a question in his gaze.

  "It was a long time ago. We were kids. And maybe you didn't take my locket." She couldn't believe she was saying that after so many years of thinking he was guilty.

  "What? You're saying you believe me now?"

  "Well, I can't see why you'd continue to lie after all these years."

  "I'm not lying now, and I wasn't lying then. I never understood why you were so quick to call me a liar, Gianna. You knew me. We were more than friends. We were…"

  As his voice drifted away, she said, "We were what? That's the thing. You didn't want to acknowledge what we were. That last day of camp, I heard you tell Tony that you didn't really like me, that you were just messing around. That what we were doing together was no big deal."

  Guilt flittered through his eyes, but he didn't deny it.

  "I thought you took my locket," she continued, "so that you could prove to the other kids that you didn't care about me. It all made sense at the time. I heard what you said to Tony, then my locket was gone. I connected the two events, and I felt betrayed. I had been stupid to think that someone like you could want someone like me. You were way out of my league. Every girl wanted you, and every guy wanted to be you. What you said to Tony confirmed what I'd always wondered—whether you were using me, or if I was just some challenge, some dare."

  "You weren't a challenge or a dare," he said forcefully. "And I did like you. When Tony and some of the other guys started giving me a hard time about you, I admit that I played it down. I was an idiot teenager, and I didn't handle the situation well. To be honest, the way I felt about you was so differ
ent that I didn't know what to make of it. I didn't want everyone teasing us. I thought if I played it cool, Tony and the others would drop it. I'm sorry for hurting you."

  She nodded, drawing in a quick breath at the apology she'd waited a long time to hear. "Thanks for saying that."

  "I didn't know you'd overheard my conversation with Tony. All I knew was that you believed I took your necklace after you'd told me what it meant to you. I was pissed that you could think that, and I felt betrayed. I thought you knew me better than that."

  "I thought I did, too. But if you didn't take it, who did? That's the question I could never answer."

  "I honestly have no idea. It could have been anyone—even one of the girls."

  "Well, it doesn't matter anymore. We can move on."

  "I hope so. It looks like we'll be in the same place for a while, and I'd rather not be enemies, Gianna."

  "I don't want to be enemies, either." She sighed. "I have enough people in town who don't like me."

  His brow shot up. "You have people who don't like you? I have trouble believing that."

  "Really? Up until five minutes ago, you didn't like me," she said dryly. "Where is the difficulty coming from?"

  He smiled. "That's true, but now we've made our peace. What problem do you have with all the other people who don't like you?"

  "You don't know?"

  "Know what?"

  "I'm a joke around town these days. I've had a couple of broken engagements—actually three, one a few months ago. My first fiancé, Jeremy, still lives here in Whisper Lake. He has dubbed me the runaway fiancée. He finds it very amusing that I can't make it down the aisle. It makes him feel better to not be the only man I disappointed. He told me earlier today that I have a problem with commitment. I can't say he's wrong."

  "Three engagements, huh? That's a lot. But it's better than three divorces."

  "That's what I think. But I know it's not great. I've hurt people with my poor decisions, and I need to do better."

  He gave her a thoughtful gaze. "I have to say it seems a bit out of character, Gianna, but then I guess I don't really know you."