Always With Me

by Barbara Freethy

  He didn't know what was going on with her, but he was pretty sure he was responsible for her absence. He'd felt her starting to pull away from him, finding ways to get off the phone, being vague about her plans. He didn't like the feeling he was getting.

  It probably wasn't fair to ask her to take on the situation he was creating, but he wanted her in his life. He'd told her she was important to him, but he hadn't backed that up with action. He had been too busy locating a rental house, getting it set up for Hailey, and trying to find a compromise with the Carvers that would allow them all to have Hailey in their lives but still be the best situation for Hailey. They hadn't gotten to an answer, but at least they were talking.

  Actually, he was talking…

  Ron was giving Helen the cold shoulder, refusing to speak to her directly. The only good thing about that was that Ron was now willing to talk to him. He had stopped being the villain in Ron's eyes. That was Helen's role now.

  He actually felt a little sorry for Rebecca's mother. Not that he also didn't feel tremendous anger for the way she'd dismissed what had happened to her daughter, how she'd protected her brother over her child, but he could also see that she was suffering. In her own selfish way, she had loved Rebecca, and she had lost her, and now she was losing Hailey, too.

  He actually wanted Hailey to have all of her family. She'd already lost too much. But getting them to a place where they could peacefully coexist and raise Hailey together was going to take time and effort and focus.

  Which brought him back to Gianna.

  She was backing off because she knew as well as he did that his priorities were shifting. But he didn't want to lose Gianna in the process of getting Hailey back. He wanted them both.

  He probably wanted too much…

  He parked on the street in front of the store and rang the doorbell for the apartment. There was a light on upstairs, and since she wasn't at the lake with everyone else in town, hopefully she was home.

  A moment later, her voice came over the buzzer.

  "It's me," he said. "Can I come up?"

  "All right."

  It wasn't the most welcome tone he'd ever heard, but she did buzz him in.

  He jogged up the stairs, eager to see her again. Everything would be better once they were talking in person.

  She met him at the door, a hesitant look in her eyes.

  "First things first," he said, pulling her into his arms and kissing her sweet, sexy mouth.

  Her initial stiffness dissipated with their kiss, and she kissed him back with a somewhat desperate fervor, as if she were trying to savor one last minute together, but he didn't want it to be their last.

  When they finally came up for air, she gave him a breathless look and said, "That wasn't fair."

  "I wanted to get that in before we talk, before you push me away."

  "Why aren't you at the barbecue or on Adam's boat? The fireworks will be starting soon."

  "I was at the barbecue, but you weren't there, and your friends didn't seem to know where you were. I told them I would find you."

  "I got caught up in my painting, and I'm not that big on fireworks."

  He moved into the apartment, a little surprised at the sight of a new painting on the easel as well as two other canvases standing up against the wall, each one in a different degree of completion. "You really are painting."

  "Did you think I was lying?"

  "More like avoiding me. But I can see you've been busy."

  "I've gone a little mad," she admitted. "I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do, so I set them up next to each other, hoping it would give me clarity."

  "I like them all. Although, the first one, the teens at the lake, is still my favorite." The other two were darker images. One was a fiery dragon looming over a baby. The third was a house by a lake, smoke swirling from the chimney, a swing in the yard, an empty deck, and an open front door.

  "You like the first one because you're in it," Gianna pointed out.

  "So are you." He pointed his hand to the second canvas. "The dragon lady is Theresa and the baby is you. It's a rather frightening image."

  "That one came out of a dream I had last night. I got up at two to paint it."

  "And the last one?"

  "I'm not sure."

  He looked at the house. "It's not happy, but it's not sad, either. It's…waiting."

  "That's an interesting way to put it."

  He turned back to her. "Is that how you feel, Gianna, like you're waiting?"

  "Not everything I paint is me."

  "And yet it is," he said with a small smile. "At least these three pictures."

  "I was thinking about you and Hailey, the house you got. Keira told me it was by the lake. That it had a swing set."

  "But there are no people in this picture."

  "No. I didn't have a vision of that."

  "I've been neglecting you."

  "You haven't," she said quickly. "You've been doing what you need to do. You don't have to worry about me, Zach. I'm an adult. Hailey is your priority. Where is she tonight?"

  "She's with her best friend Maddie's family for a sleepover. She was invited a few days ago, and we all thought it was good for her to do something normal."

  "How is she? Does she understand what's going on?"

  "She's good, but she is confused. She's not sure where she's going to be spending her time. I showed her the house yesterday. She liked it. She wants to live there with me. But she also loves her grandparents and her uncle. So, she keeps asking if she can live in both places."

  "Can you all share her?"

  "We're working on the details of that. There are a lot of hoops to jump through because I'm not biologically connected to Hailey, nor was I married to her mother. The only reason anything can happen is because the Carvers are willing to make it happen. Mitch has also stepped up. He was trying to help me before, but he was always reluctant to go against his parents. Now that he knows what happened to his sister, he is taking charge."

  "It's a difficult, complicated situation."

  "But worth it." He put his hands on her shoulders. "You're worth it, too, Gianna. I haven't forgotten about you."

  "Hey, we were just having fun," she said lightly. "You don't owe me anything."

  Despite her words, he saw a sadness in her eyes. "Don't downplay our relationship into mindless fun."

  "And you shouldn't try to make it more than it is."

  "We don't know what it is yet. Would you consider staying in Whisper Lake past the summer?"

  She stared back at him. "I don't know, Zach."

  He frowned at her answer. "I need to be here for a while."

  "Yes, you do."

  "I know I'm asking a lot. You have your career in LA. You have a life there. But you could have a life here, too."

  "You and Hailey need to be together. I would mess that up. She would be even more confused, wondering why you were bringing some other woman around."

  "She'd understand why over time."

  "It's too much, Zach. I had trouble committing in my past relationships, and they were a lot simpler than this."

  "I don't give a damn about your past relationships. This is you and me. We're different."

  "Are we?"

  "Yes," he said forcefully, gripping her shoulders. "I'm in love with you, Gianna. I've been in love with you since I was sixteen years old."

  "You've loved other people, Zach."

  "So have you, but that doesn't change the fact that our connection was made a long time ago. And maybe we both ended up here and now, because this is our time."

  "Or we say good-bye and we move on. We accept that our relationship was always meant to be short."

  "You're killing me," he said, feeling both anger and disappointment at her words. "What we feel—we both know it doesn't come around very often. Are you really going to walk away from it?"

  "I'm good at walking away," she said with a touch of self-recrimination. "Just ask anyone."

&n
bsp; "I don't care what anyone else thinks. And I don't believe you'll walk away from real love. Those other guys weren't right. I am."

  "But you have become a package deal."

  "That's true. I know you'd be sacrificing a lot, Gianna. It's not the ideal love story, but it is a love story, and it could be a good one."

  Her eyes blurred with tears. "I do care about you, Zach. But it's too fast."

  "Then we'll slow things down. We'll table this until the end of summer. But until then we stay together."

  "I don't think so. It wouldn't be good for Hailey if we start something we can't finish. It wouldn't be good for us, either."

  "I'm not willing to walk away. I fight. I want you to fight, too," he said, feeling a bit desperate to convince her.

  A buzzing phone drew her attention away from him. "Let me check that."

  "Can it wait?" he asked in frustration.

  "I—I don't know." She slipped away from him to pick up the phone. "Hello? Chloe?" She paused. "What? Oh, my God! I'm on my way. I'll be there in five minutes."

  "What happened?" he asked, seeing the fear on Gianna's face.

  "Chloe got a call. Kevin is missing in action. I have to get over there. She can't get a hold of anyone else. They're all on the boat. She's alone."

  "I'll drive you."

  "Okay," she said, grabbing her bag, then leading him down the stairs.

  "Kevin has to be okay," she said, as she got into his truck and fastened her seat belt. "Chloe is having his baby in less than two weeks. She can't lose him now."

  He wanted to be positive, but all he felt was a terrible fear. His mother had never gotten a call that his father was missing. She'd just learned that he was dead. Hopefully, the outcome for Chloe's husband would be different. He'd be found. He'd come back. He'd be able to be a father and a husband.

  But deep down inside, he wasn't sure he could believe that, and he had a feeling Chloe couldn't believe it, either.

  Gianna's heart was pounding as she ran up to Chloe's door, with Zach following close behind. She hit the bell and then tried the knob. It turned. She walked into Chloe's house and saw her sitting on the couch, her phone in her hand, tears streaming down her face.

  She sat down on the couch next to Chloe. "I'm here."

  Chloe stared back at her with wild, dazed eyes. "They don't know where Kevin is. He got separated from the team two days ago. Two days ago! They waited this long to tell me that no one knows what happened to him."

  "What about the other men? The other wives?"

  "The wives are only now finding out. The whole team was out of communication for over a week on some super-secret mission that they still can't tell me about. I don't even know what continent he's on, Gianna."

  She licked her lips, not knowing what to say. "Did they tell you anything else?"

  "That they're doing everything that they can, and that they'll be in touch. I didn't even know the guy who called. Couldn't one of his friends have spoken to me?"

  "They probably didn't want to put one of his friends in the position of having to lie to you," Zach interjected, sitting down on the other side of Chloe.

  "You think they know where he is?" Chloe asked, turning to him.

  "I think they know more than they're saying," he replied. "But missing is better than the alternative."

  "That could be coming. They could be calling me next to tell me he's dead. I can't believe this is happening."

  Chloe's face twisted with pain, her breathing shifting, as she gasped her way through a few more breaths.

  With her hand rubbing her belly, Gianna suddenly had a new, terrified thought. "Chloe, are you having contractions?"

  "They're probably false. I had some yesterday. I went to the clinic. They said it wasn't real. They sent me home and told me it could be a few more days."

  She didn't like the sound of that, especially as Chloe started panting once more. "Is that another one?"

  "I'm just upset about Kevin. It's not labor. The baby can't come until Kevin is back."

  She exchanged a quick look with Zach and saw the concern on his face. "We need to get you to the clinic."

  "They're going to call me back about Kevin. I can't leave."

  "You can take the phone with you."

  "When we get to the hospital, they won't let me use it. And the longer I stay here, the longer it will be before I have the baby." Chloe gasped as another contraction hit her.

  "We're taking you to the medical center right now." She and Zach helped Chloe to her feet, but then Chloe cried out, doubling over in pain as her water broke.

  "Whoa," Zach said in alarm.

  "It's okay. We just need to get her into the truck," she said.

  "There are only two seats in the truck," Zach reminded her.

  "Right. Where are your car keys, Chloe?"

  "I don't want to go to the hospital. I want to wait here until Kevin comes home," Chloe said stubbornly, dazed by the pain and the trauma of the last hour.

  "Honey, you have to go to the hospital. You have to take care of your baby."

  "I'm going to call 911," Zach said. "We'll get her an ambulance."

  "Oh, God!" Chloe cried, screaming with pain. "I think the baby is coming now."

  "Now? It can't come now," she said.

  "I can feel it," Chloe said, giving her a panicked look. "What am I going to do?"

  "Let's get you back on the couch," she said, helping Chloe stretch out against the pillows as Zach got on the phone with the 911 operator. She could hear him demanding an ambulance, but there seemed to be some sort of argument going on.

  "It hurts," Chloe told her, panting once more. "I can feel its head, Gianna. I need to push."

  "No, don't do that. Just breathe."

  Chloe tried to breathe, but then said, "It's not working. Can you look?"

  Gianna drew in her own shaky breath. "Okay." She pushed up Chloe's sundress and pulled down her panties, seeing the tip of her baby's head. She was shocked and terrified, feeling completely out of her depth. "The baby is coming." She looked up at Zach, who had paled in the last minute, getting his own glimpse of the problem. "Is the ambulance on its way?"

  "There's a multi-vehicle accident on the west shore. Both of the city ambulances are there. It's going to be awhile. They're patching us through to the medical center for advice."

  "Advice?" she echoed. "We don't need advice. We need a doctor."

  Chloe screamed again, then yelled, "Help me."

  Gianna pulled herself together. There was no one coming, so they had to take care of Chloe. "Hand me the phone."

  Zach did as she asked, then said, "I'll get some towels."

  "Hello?" she asked. "Yes, we need help." She put the phone down on the coffee table, leaving the speaker on so she could hear the instructions and help Chloe at the same time.

  Giving her friend the bravest smile she could, she said, "Okay, Chloe, we're going to do this together."

  Chloe gave her a terrified look. "I can't lose the baby, too, Gianna."

  "You're not going to lose this baby." She desperately hoped that was the truth.

  Zach came back with towels and she slid them under Chloe while helping her off with her underwear. For the next ten minutes, she followed the nurse's instructions while Zach stayed by Chloe's side, talking her through the contractions and letting her grip the hell out of his hand.

  It was scary and amazing and messy all at the same time. But when the baby was finally born, he let out a howl, and they all laughed with relief.

  She wrapped the baby in a blanket and placed him on Chloe's chest.

  More tears streamed down Chloe's face as she looked at her son. "He's—beautiful," she gulped.

  "Perfect," she said, feeling like crying herself. "You have a son."

  "He needs a name," Chloe said. "We were going to wait until Kevin came home to decide. He wanted to see him. See what name fit him best. But now…"

  Her heart broke at the thought that Kevin might never see his
son. He and Chloe had been together forever. He'd been one of her best friends, too, and he would be an amazing father. "You'll come up with the right name," she said. "And by the way, he has a good pair of lungs."

  "He does," Chloe said. "And he was determined to come out. Do you think he knew I needed him?"

  A tear fell out of her eye at that poignant comment. "Maybe," she said. "You're not going to be alone, no matter what happens with Kevin."

  Chloe stroked her son's head, quietly soothing him until he fell silent and just stared at his mother with big, dark eyes. "I'm going to make sure he has a happy life," Chloe promised. "If I have to do this alone, I'll do it alone. An hour ago, I didn't think I could. But now I feel certain that I can and that I will be able to do whatever I have to do. Because this is my life. This is my child. And he needs me to be strong."

  At the sound of a siren, Zach got to his feet. "That's the ambulance. I'll let them in."

  "Zach is a good man in a crisis," Chloe said. "You both helped me bring my baby into the world. I'll never forget it."

  "I don't think I'll forget it, either. I saw it all happening, and I still don't know how you did it."

  "We do what we have to do for love."

  "Yes," she murmured, getting to her feet as the paramedics came through the door. They put mom and baby on a stretcher and took them out to the ambulance. Before they left, Gianna told Chloe she'd let her friends and family know what had happened and then they'd check in on her in the morning.

  As the ambulance drove away, Zach put his arms around her. "Wow," he said. "You delivered a baby tonight."

  "I have no idea how I held it together. But I really didn't do much. That kid was coming out, no matter what. Thank you for helping to keep Chloe calm."

  "No problem." He flexed his hand. "I think she broke a few fingers, but otherwise no big deal."

  She smiled up at him. "It's hard work bringing a kid into the world."

  "It's one of the most amazing things I've ever seen."

  "Me, too. I just hope Kevin makes it back. I don't want Chloe to have to raise her son on her own."

  "I don't, either." He paused as a loud blast rocked the air.

  She looked up as fireworks lit up the sky. "Well, this is appropriate," she said with a laugh. "Tonight is definitely a night for celebration. But you might have enjoyed this more from the water."