Endless Love: The 4Ever series #3

by Isabella White

  She sat straight up and he smiled.

  “The board has decided to postpone your contract, Holly. Get better and finish the remaining time when you are healthy again.”

  “Thank you.” She was so happy that she wanted to hug him. The training here would boost her career.

  He just stared at her. “I’m going to see you again. I just know it.”

  “Finally, some positivity.”

  He smiled and winked as he left her room.

  She picked up her phone and reluctantly texted Jake.

  I can go home

  Bianca and Abigail checked her over one more time, both of them had a report and then they signed the release forms.

  She had no idea if Jake or Gus was even here anymore.

  But Gus came.

  He drove her to her apartment and helped her out of the car. She got out of breath so easily lately.

  She tried to convince herself that it was all in her head, but her lungs just couldn’t breathe in the air she needed.

  The elevator ride to the apartment felt eons.

  She didn’t want to think about the memories Jake left her with in this elevator.

  The elevator finally came to a halt and it opened slowly.

  Gus opened her apartment door, and she found all her bags packed and lined up.

  “Jake packed them.”

  She felt so embarrassed that he did that.

  She waited as Gus made two trips down to the car and on the third she went with him.

  She couldn’t be this weak. She wasn’t even that sick yet.

  She took a few deep breaths and could feel Gus’s eyes on her but she looked away.

  She climbed into the passenger seat as Gus loaded the luggage in the back.

  The fact that Jake wasn’t here nagged at her. He’d promised that he’d be with her.

  She didn’t want to ask Gus where he was, but eventually, the words rolled from her lips. “Where is he?”

  “At the airport. He’s not in the mood to talk right now.”

  She nodded and fell silent again, staring out the window as Gus drove to the airport.

  Gus lead her to one of the lounges, where Jake sat typing on his laptop.

  He was sulking and she really didn’t have the strength or the fight for it.

  She drank Gus’s shake in silence and kept her back to Jake.

  She didn’t once turn around to look at him, scared that she would start crying again, and she definitely didn’t want to cry in an airport full of people.

  She wasn’t going to abort his boys. If he doesn’t understand that, then maybe they weren’t…tears pricked her eyes. She couldn’t even think about him not being in her life.

  She took a steadying breath and blinked the tears away.

  The wait for the flight was long and quiet.

  Gus brought her something to eat and she smiled her thanks, but inside she was seething. Gus wasn’t the one who should be bringing her food; he hadn’t gotten her pregnant.

  They boarded the plane. She’d never flown business class before, but it was definitely the way to travel. The seat were luxurious and reclined into beds.

  Holly looked over at Jake again, but he was still focused on his laptop, alternating between typing and reading.

  With the amount of time he spent on the laptop, he really needed to get glasses.

  The image of him with glasses filled her with heat. He’d kill that look as well.

  She wondered if he would ever make peace with her decision.

  She shook it from her mind. She didn’t need to think about that now. She needed to carry these babies until six months and then, then she would cross all the bridges that were in her way.

  In a few hours she was going to see her mom and Jamie.

  It was almost Jamie’s birthday, and according to her mother, Jake and Amelia had everything planned to a T.

  Bernie wanted to be there, but since she was close to her time, they’d decided against it.

  She fell asleep watching movie after they served lunch.

  She only woke up when the stewardess came to wake her and told her that they were getting ready to land, then she helped Holly into a sitting position.

  When the plane landed in Boston Jake didn’t wait for her at all, but Gus had a soft smile as he gave her a hand out of her seat and out the plane.

  She wanted to yell at Jake, wanted to tell him to go google moms being pregnant with cancer and find out how many of them aborted, but she didn’t. He needed to deal with it on his own time.

  “Really, it’s going to be like that from now on?” She looked at Gus.

  “Give him time, Holly.”

  What if she didn’t have fucking time? But she was contradicting herself. No, she would fight and she would survive, with or without Jake. She wouldn’t tell her boys that their father was stuck in a fucking rainbow.

  Amelia and Jane waited for them at the entrance of the airport.

  She scanned the area, but there was no sign of Jamie.

  She would kill him if he even thought of keeping Jamie away from her as a way to punish her.

  Jane embraced her, gripping her tightly and sniffling in her ear. She and her mother had fought cancer before, and she needed her mother to be with her every step of the way.

  “Don’t leave me, Mom, please. I can do this.”

  “No one is leaving you, sweetheart.”

  She was wrong. Jake was going to leave. She knew it.

  She turned to Amelia, whose eyes glistened with tears. “Holly, what are you doing?”

  “Amelia, please. I need you on my side.”

  A tear fell over her cheek and she dabbed it away.

  “Holly, please. You need to terminate this pregnancy so you can fight this.”

  “I can’t do that. I meant every fucking step I took that day, Amelia. And I thought you did, too.”

  “Fuck the steps, Holly. If you die, do you even have the slightest idea what it would do…” She shook her head. “Jamie needs you. And I don’t want to lose you. Not like this.”

  She sighed. “Amelia, these babies also need me.”

  “Holly, you know me. I would never tell you to abort, it’s against my beliefs, but you have a beautiful little girl and a man that loves you to death.”

  “Don’t say that. Do you see him being here? Because he’s not, Amelia. I’m not going to abort two healthy boys just because of this. I won’t let the cancer win this time. But I need your help. Please. I need someone who will fight for me when I can’t fight anymore. Don’t let me do this alone. I can win this. I just need…” Holly’s voice cracked and she sobbed.

  “Okay, I’m here.” Amelia hugged Holly. “I’ve always been here.” She pulled away and looked Holly straight in the eye. “You promise me that you are going to fight or else I’ll see a seer to haunt your ass until the day I die.”

  Holly giggled, sniffling as she did.

  “It’s not, funny Holly, this is serious.”

  “I know. That’s not why I’m laughing. I said the same thing to a patient of mine. I promise you, I will fight. I have many reasons to live. I’m not going to lose this battle. Not this time.”

  She hugged her. “You better not.”

  Holly sighed. At least Amelia was in her corner, it would have to be enough.

  Thirteen

  JAKE

  * * *

  Jamie’s birthday party theme—Frozen—fit perfectly with the cold weather.

  Holly was a vision, dressed up as Anna. and she looked gorgeous. Jake had the privilege of being Kristoff, and they put reindeer ears on Felix, so he became Sven.

  Jamie was an adorable Elsa, though with her black hair she was the complete opposite of the animation, but she looked beautiful.

  Jane and Rodney were both dressed up to fit the era, but Gus… He’d dressed up as one of Cinderella’s stepsisters instead of someone from the chosen theme, but it had made them all laugh.

  Jamie had a cake in the shape
of Elsa’s castle. Jake grinned as she closed her eyes to make a wish, then took a deep breath and blew out the candles.

  Jake wondered what she’d wished for. Probably for Holly to feel better—Jamie wasn’t stupid. She knew Holly was sick. Or maybe she’d wished for her brothers to be okay—the ones he wanted to be aborted.

  He hated himself for it, but he need Holly to survive. He’ be broken without her.

  But he tried to push that out of his mind and concentrated on having fun with Jamie. It was the first birthday he got to experience with her, and he wondered what the others were like.

  He looked over to where Holly sat on the sofa. Her face looked pale and clammy, and she was short of breath. But they were all pretending that she was okay, for Jamie’s sake.

  He was still so livid with Holly, with everyone who seemed to be okay with her plan. None of them liked that he was so distant with her, but what use was it when she was practically killing herself.

  She’d made up her mind about how things were a long time ago.

  He wanted to scream whenever he saw Holly laughing and making jokes with Rod and Amelia. He couldn’t stand it anymore, so after Jamie had been bathed and fallen asleep, Jake went upstairs and threw some clothes in a bag. He clenched his fist, his knuckles turning white as he walked to the bathroom to grab a towel and his toothbrush. Angry tears filled his eyes, but he grit his teeth together and willed them away.

  Holly stood in the doorway of the bedroom, her eyes trained on the bag. He didn’t look at her, just strode over to his bag and dumped his towel and toothbrush into it.

  “You’re leaving?” she asked.

  “I can’t stay here, not while I’m feeling this way.”

  “I see. And what should I tell Jamie when she asks me where her father is?”

  “Tell her I had to go away for work. I’ll Skype with her at night”

  “Dammit, Jake, this is enough!”

  He looked at her. “You think I’m playing a fucking game? You got another thing coming, Holly.”

  “Fine, if you want to leave, then fucking leave. Just know that I’m not the one running away this time.” She stormed out of the room.

  He shook his head as he watched her walk out of the room. He wasn’t running away. He just hadn’t made peace with her choice. And he didn’t think he’d be able to. Couldn’t she get it into her head that he wanted her to survive? If he thought there was a chance that she could survive and keep their children alive, he’d be on her side. But he just didn’t see how that was possible.

  He took big, measured steps down the stairs, and paused when he saw another cake with candles on.

  Holly was sobbing in Amelia’s arms, and his heart clenched. He was being such a fucking jerk. He went over and took Amelia’s place, wrapping his arms around Holly as he stared unblinkingly at the cake that was meant for Romalia. Sobs wracked violently through Holly and Jake tightened his grip.

  Everyone in the room was teary-eyed.

  “I’m sorry I’m not built like you. I can’t do this Holly. I don’t know how.” He brushed a kiss over her forehead, then grabbed his bag and left.

  He let himself cry all the way to the hotel. He hadn’t known she celebrated Romalia. All those years when they thought Holly had gotten an abortion, Amelia had celebrated the baby with a cake on the estimated due date. Now, he saw Holly did the same for the daughter they’d lost. He knew that was why she wouldn’t terminate the pregnancy now, but he’d meant what he said.

  He couldn’t watch her give up and get sicker by the day. He wasn’t built that way.

  It had been three weeks since he’d left. He’d spent the first night in a hotel but decided to move into the cabin for the time being, and had taken his month leave he’d planned on taking for Zurich.

  Amelia was living with Jamie and Holly. She was pissed at him for leaving Holly like that, but he couldn’t understand how they were all so okay with it. They all thought she was going to survive this.

  Even his other sister, Robin, told him that if Holly believed she could survive this without terminating the pregnancy, then she would carry out her wishes. She didn’t give him her professional opinion on the matter, just that she wouldn’t force Holly to abort the babies.

  He wanted Robin to tell him that he was right, and that Holly’s faith wasn’t enough. Couldn’t they see it? Everything had been working against them right from the beginning. First, the cancer came while she was pregnant, and with her weakened immune system, it was only spreading faster than it normally would. Second, Holly’s blood type was O negative, which made finding blood a bitch. Robin was already getting a supply stocked for when Holly went into surgery, but what if she needed an organ?

  Everything was going according to Holly’s plan, he was just not there to do his part. But others could do it for him.

  He checked in with Melia and Jamie on a daily basis, and had spoken to Anna, who was going to take over the project on Jake’s behalf. He refused to speak to her about Holly whenever she asked him.

  He was certain this was God’s way of punishing him for his ways.

  His phone vibrated next to him and he saw it was a text from Holly.

  “I’m horny,” her message read.

  The corner of his lips curved, but then he shook off the smile.

  How was it possible that she had no idea what she meant to him?

  He’d asked her to trust him and she hadn’t.

  She’d made up her mind without even consulting him.

  But he couldn’t stop himself from dialing her number. He wanted to hear her voice. They hadn’t spoken since Jamie’s birthday.

  “Finally,” she said.

  “How?” he asked and his voice broke. “How am I supposed to do this, Holly? Please tell me.” Tears blurred into his eyes. His voice came out harsher than he’d intended it to.

  “Just be here. Help me fight this, Jake. I need you with me on this. ’Cause I promise you, if you are not and I kick this asshole in the butt, there will be no going back, Jake.”

  He didn’t like what she was insinuating.

  “You’re asking me to watch you fucking die.”

  “No, I’m asking you to be one of the reasons I have to live. You, Jamie, the boys. That’s all I need to fight this,” she hissed, then she started sobbing. “Right now, you’re being a fucking asshole, and I already have a major one to deal with, I can’t do two at the same time.”

  “Why couldn’t you just terminate the pregnancy and fight like any other normal woman would?”

  She chuckled. “Jake, have you even researched the number of pregnant women with cancer terminating their pregnancy? Almost none of them take that option. I am being normal.”

  He grunted. “Holly…”

  “Look, I know it can’t be easy not having everything go your way, but you need to trust me now. I will fight this. In one more month, Jake. But I need to give birth to our children first. They need you. Your father has me on a regime of steroids and vitamin C so their lungs will be strong enough at birth, and it will make their birth easier.”

  “Do you think I’ll be able to tolerate them if they kill you?”

  “They are not killing me. And neither is this fucking cancer. Make a decision, Jake. You’re either going to come back and help me beat this, or run away. Don’t make the same mistake I did.”

  The phone went silent in his ear.

  He felt like a jerk.

  She wasn’t the one running away this time.

  He was.

  She was right. He had a fucking choice to make.

  * * *

  HOLLY

  * * *

  She took a long bath.

  Her stomach was much bigger than it had been with Jamie and Romy at this stage.

  So far, the pregnancy was going really well, better than she’d expected, in fact. In another four weeks, her little boys would be able to come into this world.

  She rubbed a hand over her belly as she felt a small flutter of
movement.

  Robin had just left, and Holly had told her she didn’t want to know how far the cancer had spread. She knew it wasn’t just on her kidney anymore. Robin’s face, and the way Holly felt lately, confirmed it. But that didn’t matter right now. All that mattered right now was that the boys were still safe in her womb, and they were growing.

  She sighed, sinking lower into the water. She hadn’t thought her conversation with Jake would go ape the way it had.

  She’d never hung up on him before, but how else was she supposed to get through to him?

  What if Gus was right about who Jake truly was?

  What then?

  Would Jake leave her to fight this alone? And what about Jamie? Was she just gonna leave her as well?

  Jamie already asked both her and Amelia to make her daddy come home from work, and she constantly wanted to speak to him. She missed Jake. She didn’t understand why Mommy was so tired all the time, and why Daddy wasn’t at home to make Mommy feel better.

  There was a knock on the door.

  “Holly, can I come in?” Amelia asked.

  “Yes,” Holly called out weakly. The bath was filled with bubbles, so all the important bits of her body was covered.

  Amelia opened the door and walked over to the bathtub, sinking down to the ground next to it. She stirred the water with her finger.

  “Give him time.”

  She nodded but her heart ached. What if…no, she couldn’t think like that. She had to beat this.

  “Robin phoned when she got home. She wants to see you in a few days again.”

  “Why?”

  “Holly, your hormones are like wildfire to the cancer. Why do you think my brother wanted you to terminate?”

  “I can’t.”

  “I know you can’t, you crazy woman. I hope you’ll be there—no, you better be there—to show those two boys that you loved them so much you were willing to die for them.”

  “What if it was you, Amelia?”

  “What about it?”

  “What if you were in my position now? What if you fell pregnant and then got cancer?”

  “Holly, I’m different. I don’t have a child that needs me.”