Beauty from Ashes: Authors & Dancers Against Cancer Anthology

by Vera Quinn

  “Okay, enough with the tears, ladies, it’s time to celebrate,” Jeff says as he holds his glass of wine up. “A toast, to Lulu and the next chapter of her journey.”

  Clink.

  We toast and eat while laughing as we reminisce over the years of tours. I’m so blessed to have this little family.

  Knock. Knock.

  “I’ll get it, it’s probably Jaci and Tori. I told Jaci to just pick me up when she dropped Tori off.” Jeff jumps up to get the door.

  I watch as he opens the door, greeting the newest ladies of his life, kissing Jaci as Tori comes barreling through the door and down the hall.

  Running to hug me, Tori exclaims, “Lulu! Oh, Lulu, I’ve missed you so much. How are you feeling?”

  “I’m feeling a lot better, Sis. I’ve missed you, too. I’m so sorry I shut you out. I was in a bad place mentally and felt I was letting you down, but I think I know how to make it up to you.” I cry as I hug her.

  “You haven’t let me down. I just want you to be okay.” She hugs me tighter.

  “Okay, ladies, we’re outta here. Don’t stay up too late, we’ve got an early morning tomorrow. We’ll be here at eight-thirty,” Jeff tells us.

  “Early morning? Am I missing something?” Tori asks.

  Jaci, too, looks confused. “Yea, what gives? I was hoping to sleep in.”

  “Don’t worry, Jaci, Jeff will fill you in and I’ll explain everything to Tori But if you have any objections or questions, please call me. Goodnight, guys, enjoy your movie night.” I hug them both before they head out.

  Donna gets up and takes her plate to the kitchen, then goes about cleaning up dinner.

  “Donna, leave it. I’ll get it,” I chastise her.

  “No, no you’ve got an anxious little sister here needing some of your undivided attention. I’ll take care of all this.” She smiles.

  “Okay, if you’re sure.”

  “I’m sure. Besides, I’m sticking around for her reaction.” She chuckles.

  “My reaction? Okay, you’ve got my mind racing with possibilities, what’s going on, Lulu?” Tori asks nervously.

  “Tori, remember how I promised I would mentor you and help you make your dreams come true?” I ask.

  “Of course. But not until you’re feeling up to it. I’m patient, your health comes first. I’d like to have you around more than for just helping me achieve my dreams.”

  “Well, today’s your lucky day. Tori, I’d like to sign you as my debut artist to my new label. I’d like to produce your first album.” I stand back and wait for her reaction.

  She stands completely silent and tears begin to roll down her cheeks.

  I take her hand in mine. “Tori? Are you okay? Are you not happy? Is this not what you want?”

  “Is this for real? Are you serious?” she whispers.

  “Yes, one hundred percent real and serious,” I respond.

  “Yes! Oh my God, I thought becoming your goddaughter was the best day of my life, but this is the second best day ever.” She jumps into my arms.

  I hug her excitedly. “That’s what I’d hoped you’d say.”

  “Oh man, I’m so glad I got that on video,” Donna says from the doorway.

  “Tori, this is only the beginning. The best is yet to come,” I tell her, then look at Donna. “Donna, do you want to stay for our sleepover? We have a lot to discuss and I’d like it if you were a part of it,” I express.

  “I’d love to.” Donna smiles.

  We sit and give Tori all the details, explaining that Donna will be her new manager and how important a manager is in this business. I tell them about Gage and my nervousness over my date. We laugh and joke then grab some blankets from my bed and Tori’s room. Once we have everything laid out, we watch a movie and all fall asleep in the living room on a pallet of blankets.

  Tomorrow will be a day full of firsts. First press conference as a record producer and label owner, first date with Gage, and Tori’s first press conference as a pop star.

  Chapter Ten

  Lulu

  “Rise and shine, pop star. Today’s your big day.” I softly shake Tori awake.

  Donna comes in with coffee and sets it on the coffee table. “She’s right, go get showered and get ready. I’m sure there’s something of Lulu’s you can wear for the press conference.”

  “Yes, ma’am. I remember Lulu saying you run a tight ship, but I’m taking my coffee with me. Lulu, she’s right, I’m totally raiding your closet and using your shower too.” Tori chuckles as she gets up, grabs her coffee and heads for my room.

  “She reminds me of you when you first started—sassy.” Donna chuckles as she starts to pick up and fold the blankets we slept on.

  “Yea, she is pretty sassy, isn’t she? She’s also quite wise in her young age,” I reply as I help fold blankets and straighten the living room.

  “Are you ladies up yet?” Jeff hollers as he comes into the condo.

  “Yes, Tori’s already in the shower and I’m headed that way too. Donna made coffee,” I reply.

  Jaci walks up to me and pulls me into a big hug. “I just want to thank you. Thank you for loving my little girl and thank you for coming into our lives.”

  Hugging her back, I tell her, “No, thank you for blessing me with such an amazing little sister. You guys are family and I take care of my family. You have no idea how much you both have impacted my life. And thank you for loving Jeff, he’s truly the best.”

  “Yes, he is,” she says simply, then walks over and cuddles up to Jeff.

  I run and shower and get myself ready. It’s going to be a busy day, first the press conference than my date tonight.

  After the press conference we all go to brunch to celebrate. Donna has a realtor looking for the perfect starter building for the record label. Tori is so giddy with excitement, I’m afraid she’ll explode.

  “Tori, are you still excited over this morning?” I ask.

  “Actually, I’m excited for you and your date tonight. Are you nervous?” she counters.

  “Yea, a little. It’s been probably five or six years since I’ve been on a date,” I admit.

  “You’ll be fine. Let’s go back to the condo and pick out the perfect outfit and start getting you ready,” Donna chimes in.

  “Okay, okay. Let’s go so you girls can play dress up using me as your human mannequin or Barbie doll,” I say and they drag me out of the restaurant.

  We head back to my condo and they proceed to dress me in a sequined dress, then help with my makeup and hair. I’m supposed to just dress casually but these two have me dressed like I’m on my way to the Grammys.

  “Girls, stop. He said casual and comfortable. I was thinking about wearing some skinny jeans, a flannel top and some cowboy boots. This dress is too much.” I stop them as they get out of control when they pull out the stilettos.

  “Oh, that’s a cute idea. Yea, let’s do that and you can wear your cowboy hat, too.”

  Knock. Knock.

  “He’s here.” Tori jumps up and runs to get the door.

  “Shit, help me get changed, please,” I plead with Donna.

  She immediately jumps into action and helps me change into more comfortable clothes. Once I’m finally dressed in my comfy skinny jeans, favorite purple flannel, and my cute black cowboy boots with the white stitching, I head out.

  Walking out to the living room, I’m stopped in my tracks. There before me, stands Gage Chambers, the beautiful six-foot-four inch, two hundred pound, hazel-eyed, brown-haired cowboy.

  God, he’s gorgeous.

  “Don’t stare, he’s watching you,” Donna whispers as she walks up behind me. “Hi, Gage, it’s so nice to finally meet you in person.” She reaches her hand out to him as she slides past me.

  “Yes, so nice to finally meet you, too. Lulu’s told me so much about you, both of you. Tori, congratulations on your record deal. I saw your interview this morning, you looked great,” Gage says.

  Tori smiles. “Thank you
and thank you for helping my sister.”

  “I didn’t do anything; it was all her. I just made a few suggestions.” He smiles shyly.

  “No, he’s being modest. He was a big help in this new dream. He gave me some outside opinions and planted the seed of ideas in my head,” I say as I walk over to where Gage stands.

  “Don’t mention it, it was nothing.” He kisses my cheek. “Well, ladies, it was nice meeting you both, but we gotta get going if we want to beat the sunset,” Gage replies.

  “You guys have fun, we’re gonna stay in and binge-watch Netflix while eating as much ice cream as we can consume without getting brain freeze,” Donna replies.

  “I love you, guys. Have fun, I’ll be home later.” I kiss and hug them both before following Gage out the door.

  This journey over the last year has definitely been very trying and emotional, but I am so very thankful for the support system I have and all the love they give, even when I’m bitchy and probably don’t deserve it. They’ve been so patient and understanding through it all.

  If there’s one thing I’ve learned through it all, it’s don’t take what you have for granted, for you never know when in just an instant you can lose it. I was lucky enough to survive and beat my cancer, but not everyone is as lucky as me. I will never again take all I have for granted, nor will I take for granted all those in my life that love and support me.

  The End… Or is it..

  Look out for more of Lulu and Gage as they get to know each other, as well as a look into the rise of Tori’s career from Tori’s point of view…

  Healing from the Destruction

  Vera Quinn

  Chapter One

  Maddie

  I sit here in the park and enjoy the quiet. I am trying to get a grasp on the emotions I have felt over the last few months, well; I guess it’s really been the last few years, if I get real with myself. At one time in my life, I thought that anything could be thought out if a person just took the time to reflect on the steps that got them to where they find themselves. It’s not working. No matter how many times I go over every step I’ve made, every occurrence in my life, and every feeling I’ve had, I don’t get the answers. I know I’ve made mistakes, but is this my punishment for those mistakes? Maybe, but that’s not what I have been taught all through my life. That’s not what I learned in church, not that I am a churchgoer, but I am a believer.

  If I am honest with myself, my life has been in a downhill spiral since I met my father, Diamondback, and my sister Callie. It’s not that either of them had anything to do with what’s going on, but that’s when my life changed.

  I don’t see where I have ever had daddy issues, even though I always wondered why I never had a dad in my life. Diamondback was the president of the Rebellions 4 Blood MC and his life was dangerous. That’s why my mom, Elizabeth Sylvia, decided it was better for him to not be a part of Micah, my twin sister, and my lives. As a mother now, I can understand that. I always felt loved. My mom and Aunt Deb gave Micah and me all the love and care that two rambunctious little girls could ever need.

  Mom was a club girl when she met Diamondback. I can’t picture the woman that raised me as a party girl. And not just your normal party girl, but the kind that hangs out in motorcycle clubs. Not that I am judging anyone’s life. It’s just most of the time, my mom was the perfect mom. She was strict with me and she tried with Micah, but my sister tested her patience. The cookie baking mom I had was just so far from a party girl.

  My childhood was as close to what most people would call normal, except we only had females in our home. I was the quiet book nerd but loved everything about living on a horse ranch. Micah and I were both good with horses, but I loved them, and Micah was and still is obsessed with them. Micah is the outgoing twin. She doesn’t have a shy bone in her body. Where I have always wanted to travel and see more of the world, Micah only wanted to travel for the rodeo. Because of my shyness, I had always stayed close to home while Micah was on the rodeo circuit seeing the states. This all changed when we met our dad and half-sister, Callie. For some reason, Micah hit the rodeo circuit harder and I met Dra, my half-sister’s presumed dead, come-back-to life, ex-husband. Long story short, I should have stayed away from a man that should have been hands-off but instead I fell head over hills in love with him at first sight. You say it doesn’t happen, well; it did. To complicate things more, I ended up pregnant after a one-night stand with Dra. I clung to the sweet memory of giving my virginity to the man I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but also the man that shattered my heart the next morning when he regretted what happened and couldn’t get away from me fast enough. Tell me that isn’t a story straight out of one of my romance books. That’s about the time I woke up from looking through my Dra-colored glasses and realized that I was single, pregnant by a biker, and that my love story was not going to end in a happily ever after. Talk about a reality check. I can’t say I would change one thing about the situation because if I did, I wouldn’t have my little B, a nickname I gave our daughter Betsy, after she was born. Dra hates it.

  My mistakes didn’t stop there. I didn’t tell Dra I was pregnant. Nope, I ran. I know it was an awful thing to do. Dra deserved to know about his daughter and B deserved her dad, but I couldn’t see that then. I was so wrapped up in the fear that Dra’s club life would get our daughter hurt. I mean, Dra almost lost his life in an explosion that took his gram and dad away from him and Krill, his brother. Then there was the fact my dad, before he died, was a president of a motorcycle club and my sister Callie’s husband is a president of a club and so is her adopted dad, Chief. Do you see where I might have been a bit hypocritical in judging Dra for his biker lifestyle? When Dra lost his dad and gram due to the biker lifestyle, somehow his life seemed so much more dangerous compared to the other bikers that I knew, or maybe the others hid theirs better. I didn’t see the other bikers in my family that were in danger at times, and none of them would have been responsible for my child at any time. Their lives touched our lives but not for everyday life. Water under the bridge you would think, but nope, it all keeps coming back to that one decision.

  I have been kicking myself for so long over that decision, but now I know I should have run further and hid better. It would have saved me so much heartache, but then again, I wouldn’t have had Lucas. Our son is a precious gift, and I wouldn’t change having him for anything. I just hate that he doesn’t have his dad with him every day to help him grow into a strong man. I know I’m being whiny, but I only let my weaknesses out when I’m by myself. I will be strong for my children.

  Two weeks before I left Colorado, I found a lump in my right breast. I was scared beyond belief. I was pregnant, would the baby be alright? I was scared senseless. I couldn’t tell the man I was sharing my life with because he just didn’t give a damn. I wouldn’t tell my brother-in-law, Krill, either. I know he would have helped, but Krill isn’t the one who should be helping me. I needed to put some distance between me and Krill. He’s my best friend and I love him like a brother, but he deserves a life of his own. He needs to quit cleaning up after Dra and that’s another reason I left Colorado. Then I miscarried, and I failed my child I was carrying. The doctors told me it wasn’t my fault. They can’t be sure of that.

  Last week I lied to both Aunt Deb and Micah. I don’t like lying, but I also don’t like the poor-pitiful-you looks I keep getting. I told them I needed a few days away by myself to get my head straight and they volunteered to watch B and Lucas for me. I used that time to have a lumpectomy and then stayed at a hotel for two days to recover. I just had another scan and checkup from the doctor today. The doctors are very optimistic that I am on my way to healthier days. They are still doing scans and test but as of right now, I won’t need radiation.

  I am spooked out of my thoughts when I hear someone crying. I look around to see where the sound is coming from. I spot a woman on a bench not too far from the one I am sitting on. Her cries are gut-wrenching, and I shoul
d give her the privacy she more than likely wants, but I can’t do that. It has always been instilled in me to help, even if a person just needs someone to listen. I get up and leave behind the pity party I was indulging in. I walk over to the woman and sit on the bench she’s on, but I quietly sit on the opposite end. I don’t say anything, and she doesn’t look my way. I’m at a loss for words, but when she cries out again, I can’t sit still. I reach into my bag and take out the small packet of Kleenex I carry. My purse, as a mom of two, is always full of the essentials for anything that might pop up. I slide over by the woman and put the Kleenexes in her hand. The woman looks at me for a second, then finally grips the small package.

  “Thank you, my name is Becky,” the woman says, hiccupping as she introduces herself.

  “I’m Maddie. Do you mind if I give you a hug because you look like you could use one?” I ask the woman.

  “I definitely could use one,” Becky says softly. I slide a little closer and pull her in for a hug. She starts crying harder and I pat her on the back. I hold Becky for a good ten minutes until she cries herself out. She pulls away from me.

  “I’m sorry. I’ve just had a rough few months and I know it’s going to be alright, but I found out I was pregnant today and I was just thinking of my first pregnancy and how this one will be different. It’s a bit overwhelming for me.” I look at the woman and put just a little distance between us so it doesn’t feel weird. I’m not very good with having strangers in my space for very long.

  “Congratulations on the pregnancy, if that’s what you want. I have two children myself. How old is your oldest? Boy or girl?” I babble on, trying to keep the woman’s mind on anything else but whatever is bothering her.

  “Josie is my oldest and she’s seven. What about yours?” Becky answers.