A Convenient Marriage

by A Convenient Marriage (retail) (epub)

  Coffee plan abandoned, he returned to his desk and called her.

  ‘Chaya’s lab.’ She answered the phone on the second ring.

  ‘Hi Chaya, it’s Gimhana. I’m just phoning to see how you are.’

  ‘Oh… I… er… fine. I’m fine.’ Which was a lie if ever he’d heard one. Okay, so that was how she was going to play it. ‘I’ll be coming past where you work in an hour or so. I thought we could meet for a quick catch up.’

  ‘I don’t think—’

  ‘I’m worried about you.’

  She was quiet for a few seconds and he wondered if she was going to tell him not to bother. To his surprise, she didn’t.

  ‘I guess I owe you,’ she said. ‘I’ll buy you a coffee. You must have been running on caffeine all day since I made you miss so much sleep.’

  Gimhana relaxed a little. ‘Sounds like a plan.’

  They agreed a time and a place. As they were saying goodbye, Chaya said, ‘I know we haven’t known each other very long, but I’m… glad you came to see me last night. I think I might have done something very stupid if you hadn’t.’

  He had suspected, but it was a shock to hear her say it. ‘Anytime,’ he said. ‘You can call me any time.’

  ‘Thank you. You’re a good friend.’

  Gimhana hung up and felt glad. It was the first time he’d stepped out of his way to help someone and he rather liked the feeling of being a hero. He also liked being someone’s friend.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chaya – London, 2005

  ‘I’ve got tickets to go and see an arthouse Japanese film called Tampopo,’ said Gimhana. ‘Want to come?’

  No. The answer was no. But he looked so hopeful, she hesitated. They were walking round to the small park near her work. Gimhana had turned up and insisted that she get out for some air. This was the third time he’d done that and people in the lab were starting to raise eyebrows.

  ‘Um,’ she said. ‘What’s it about?’

  ‘Noodles,’ he said. ‘And food in general. Look, I know it’s niche, but that means there won’t be so many people and it won’t be as anxiety-provoking.’

  The cinema didn’t make her anxious. It made her sad. The only people she went to the cinema with these days were Sara and Sara’s kids. The kids meant there was lots of distraction before and after the film, so that she didn’t think about all the times she’d been to the theatre or films with Noah.

  ‘I don’t know…’

  ‘Why not?’ he said. They reached the park and Chaya kept walking without breaking pace.

  ‘You can’t hide from everyday things forever, Chaya. You’re just giving them more power over you by tying yourself in knots trying to avoid them.’ He easily kept pace with her.

  She stopped walking and swung round to face him. ‘Why do you care?’

  For a second he looked annoyed, but his face softened. ‘Because you’re my friend,’ he said. ‘This is what friends do.’

  Was it? Sara and Jay had done this sort of thing for her, back in the days before kids. Had it helped? It must have done, or she’d still be the broken mess she was after her breakdown. Maybe, Gimhana was right. She needed to stop wallowing and move on. Noah had. There was no point pretending there was any chance with him now.

  ‘I… yes. Okay. Let’s do the cinema thing,’ she said, nodding to convince herself.

  ‘Excellent,’ he said. ‘If it gets too much, we can leave. I don’t think it’ll come to that.’ He smiled at her. ‘Shall we continue on our walk?’

  They started walking again. ‘So, a film about noodles?’ she said. ‘Tell me more.’

  * * *

  The cinema wasn’t full. Chaya gripped her popcorn and settled into her seat. Noah loved the cinema and theatre. Her own childhood had included rare occasions of both, but in the months that she was with Noah, she had been to see so many shows. She glanced across at Gimhana, who leaned towards her and whispered, ‘okay?’

  ‘I’m fine,’ she whispered back.

  He checked his watch. ‘Still a few more minutes.’

  She nodded.

  ‘Chaya,’ said Gimhana. ‘Would you like to go out for dinner next Thursday? There’s this place I went to with some clients about four months back. I’d like to go back and try the food without having to talk shop. It’s always better with nice company. So will you come with me? My treat.’

  She hesitated.

  ‘It’s my birthday,’ he added sheepishly.

  ‘So… you want to buy me dinner, as a treat… for your birthday?’ She shook her head, frowning. By any standards, that was weird.

  He smiled. ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘I get to eat in nice restaurants all the time, but it’s mostly with work. I’m on duty. I don’t get to relax and enjoy the meal properly. So, for my birthday, I pick a restaurant I like and book myself a table. I usually eat alone. This year, I thought it would be fun to have company.’

  Part of her was stunned that of all the people he could have chosen, he had picked to share his special dinner with her. Part of her was just sceptical. ‘Why me? You know tons of people.’

  His smile faded and he looked at her earnestly. ‘I don’t, though. Not people I can relax around.’

  She frowned, but didn’t reply.

  The lights in the cinema dropped and the pointless curtain that they had in the front slid back. There was a general rustling as people settled in. The countdown came up on the screen.

  ‘When I’m out with people,’ Gimhana said, so quietly that she had to lean in to hear him, ‘I have to be on my guard, all the time. If I’m out with white people I worry if I’m acting white enough. If I’m out with Sri Lankan friends, I worry if I’m acting brown enough. And all the time…’ He lifted one shoulder in a shrug as though he didn’t want to complete the sentence.

  She understood. All the time, he had to check that he was acting straight enough. ‘Oh,’ she said.

  ‘With you, I don’t have to worry about any of that. You know who I am. I don’t have to try to be anyone other than myself.’

  ‘I see. I know what you mean.’ She genuinely did. She had been pretending to be okay for so long, she had forgotten what it was like to actually be okay. With a jolt, she realised that she hadn’t been quite as highly strung as usual that evening. Thinking about it, she seemed to have fewer bad days when he was around. She didn’t need to pretend so much with Gim either. He had seen her at her worst and he was still here. The only other people she’d had that with were Sara and Jay. She nodded. ‘That’s nice.’

  ‘Isn’t it?’ he said.

  From off to the side, someone said ‘shh.’

  They both whispered ‘sorry’ in the direction of the voice and sank down in their seats. Chaya had to avoid looking at Gimhana, because she suddenly had the mad urge to laugh.

  * * *

  By the time they left the cinema, it had started to drizzle. When they got to Chaya’s, she invited Gimhana in for coffee, safe in the knowledge that he wouldn’t be after anything other than just coffee.

  ‘Thank you for dragging me out,’ she said, putting the kettle on and digging out the cafetiere. ‘It’s not a film I would have chosen to watch, but I enjoyed it.’

  ‘Not many people have heard of it. Thank you for coming with me.’ He hung his coat up carefully before sitting down on the edge of the bed. ‘I take it you don’t go out often?’

  ‘No. Not unless it’s a conference.’ She leaned on the counter. ‘Or Sara’s harangued me into going on a date with someone she found.’

  ‘Oh yes? Does she have good taste? Better than our parents, say?’

  Chaya frowned. She’d never considered that before. ‘Uh… they’ve all been nice guys,’ she said. The kettle boiled and she poured. The smell of brewing coffee filled the room.

  ‘But?’

  ‘I don’t know. I just… can’t get interested. One guy tried to kiss me and it felt weird. I nearly panicked.’ She sighed. ‘I think I’m dead inside.’

 
Gimhana didn’t say anything for a few minutes, while she carefully poured two black coffees. She handed one to him and sat down next to him.

  ‘Why do you even go on these dates your friend sets up?’ he asked.

  That wasn’t what she had been expecting. ‘Because it’s Sara. She worries about me. I… owe her.’

  He was looking at her thoughtfully, waiting for her to continue.

  ‘When… I…’ she faltered.

  He put his free hand on her shoulder. It was comforting. She had told him parts of what had happened, but talking about Noah was hard. Gimhana rarely pushed her to elaborate, so she had no idea how much he’d pieced together.

  ‘When I had my ... breakdown,’ she said. ‘Sara was the one who came to find me. When I couldn’t get out of bed, when my joints hurt so much and I had no energy, she and her boyfriend Jay, they were the ones who took me to see a doctor.’

  ‘You’ve seen a doctor about it?’ he said, thoughtfully. ‘That’s good.’

  Chaya gave a snort. ‘Yeah. He said that I was clearly under a lot of stress with my degree and not coping very well. And that young people do take break-ups very hard. And that the joint pain was psychosomatic and would go away when I “came out the other side of this heartbreak”.’

  ‘What? Didn’t he offer counselling or any other help? That’s outrageous.’

  ‘Uhuh. He basically told me to pull myself together and get a lot of fresh air.’ She knew now that she had been let down. At the time, however, when the despair was already overwhelming, she had believed him. She’d been convinced she was a freak for not dealing well with a simple break-up. Other people managed. She should too. She had to pull herself together.

  She took a deep breath and carried on. ‘I tried to bury myself in my studies. Which worked, a bit. It meant I had to drag myself out of bed and it distracted me from thinking about stuff. Sara tried to help me. She and Jay used to make sure I ate and went outside at least once a day.’ But it had been an effort for her to do any of those things. When they weren’t pushing her, all she’d wanted to do was collapse and cry. ‘Then one day, I heard Sara crying and I realised how much of a burden I was to them. They had exams the next year too. So I started pretending that I was okay. Forcing myself to smile. That sort of thing.’

  ‘Until you can’t remember which bit is real and which bit is pretend?’

  ‘Something like that.’ She took a sip of coffee.

  Gimhana frowned at his coffee. ‘That’s shocking,’ he said. ‘The doctor, I mean. That’s awful. No wonder you struggled. You were… what… twenty?’

  ‘Just.’ She felt the darkness tugging at her. She didn’t like to think about that time. She let out a shaky sigh.

  Gimhana’s hand squeezed her shoulder gently; reminding her that she wasn’t alone.

  ‘How about you?’ she said. ‘Surely, it’s not all work and dinners for one.’

  He laughed. ‘I date… discreetly, you know. Hook-ups, really. No relationships as such. Never met anyone I wanted to date for more than a few weeks.’

  ‘What happened?’ When she’d met him, she’d recognised a kindred spirit. He’d had his heart broken too. ‘There was someone special once, wasn’t there?’

  Gimhana put his mug down on the small table and leaned back, his arms behind his head. ‘His name was Rukshan,’ he said. ‘He was in the year above me at school. He was… magnificent.’ He sighed. ‘Unfortunately, he was also not gay… or not ready to admit to it anyway.’ He closed his eyes. ‘I was an idiot and he found out how I felt. He laughed at me, which was bad enough. And then. He and his friends…’ He cleared his throat. ‘They waited for me after school and… uh…’ He shook his head. ‘I have scars.’

  ‘Oh.’ It was her turn to be a comfort. She wasn’t sure how to do that, so she tried, ‘I’m sorry.’

  He looked at her through hooded eyes. ‘Hmm,’ he said, ruefully. ‘At least they didn’t report me to the police.’

  ‘Was he your first love?’

  Gimhana smiled. ‘No. That would have been so much worse. The first… I met him on holiday. It was a short, but intense time.’ His gaze focused on her and his smile faded. ‘Ah. This guy, Noah… he was your first love?’

  She didn’t want to think about it. She took too big a gulp of coffee and grimaced from the pain.

  ‘Ah,’ said Gimhana. ‘He was your first everything.’

  She definitely didn’t want to think about that. She shot him a warning glance.

  ‘Oh. Right. Sorry,’ he said. ‘Nice Sri Lankan girls aren’t supposed to sleep with men they’re not married to.’

  ‘Nice Sri Lankan boys aren’t supposed to either.’

  For a second, they stared at each other. Then Gimhana started to giggle. A few seconds later, so did Chaya.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Gimhana – London, 2005

  The wrap-up meeting went extremely well. ‘Well done, folks,’ said Mr Thomas, the senior partner. ‘You have an excellent team here, Barry.’

  ‘All credit to Gimhana,’ Barry said. ‘Most of the work was his.’

  ‘Indeed.’ Mr Thomas eyed Gimhana. ‘Not the first time you’ve excelled, I gather.’

  ‘I do my best,’ said Gimhana, smiling. ‘My best is usually very good.’

  Mr Thomas laughed. ‘Tell me. Are you married?’

  Taken aback at the bluntness of the question, Gimhana took a second to answer.

  ‘I don’t think you can ask him that,’ said Barry. ‘I’m sure there’s a policy against that.’

  ‘Why the hell not? He’s not a woman! I can’t ask women that, but man to man, it’s fine,’ said Mr Thomas.

  Barry shook his head.

  ‘Anyway, are you?’

  ‘No,’ said Gimhana. Barry gave him an ‘I told you so’ glance and looked away. Clearly this was a key factor in his promotion. He had worked too hard to let this chance get away. He blurted out, ‘But I have a girlfriend.’

  Mr Thomas nodded, as though he hadn’t been expecting anything less. ‘Will you be bringing her to the anniversary ball? I’m sure we’d all like to meet her. Wouldn't we, Barry?’

  ‘Indeed.’ Barry’s eyebrows had risen.

  ‘I… er… guess I could,’ Gimhana said. He had a few days before they needed to confirm numbers, so technically, he really could. Even though he’d known her for months now, he hadn’t considered inviting Chaya because taking her to his work do would make them look like a couple and they really were nothing more than friends. Regardless of what his mother, or hers, thought.

  ‘Capital.’ Mr Thomas got up. His PA, a smart and formidable lady called Jenna, knocked. ‘You’ve got a lunch appointment next,’ she informed Mr Thomas.

  They left and Barry and Gimhana started gathering the files.

  ‘I’m glad to see you took my advice,’ Barry said, unhooking the laptop from the projector. ‘Is this someone your parents set you up with?’

  Gimhana gave up and let himself fall into the lie. It was easy enough to let people draw their own conclusions without directly lying. People tended to hear what they expected to hear. ‘Sort of,’ he said. ‘They introduced us and we met up again once we got back to England. She’s an academic.’ He picked up the stack of files.

  Barry looked at the door of the glass-walled conference room. ‘Gimhana,’ he said, in a low voice. ‘Rather than email your RSVP, go and see Jenna directly. I happen to know that she’s doing the seating plans tomorrow. If you ask her, I’m sure she can arrange for you to be sitting on the same table as Mr Thomas. He’s the one you need to convince.’

  Gimhana stared at him. Barry had once told him how when he’d started, he had been hampered by his working-class accent and that less able colleagues who’d been to the right sort of school were promoted over him. He’d had to do better work for longer to be noticed. He had made it his mission to redress the balance, by picking a few hard workers and championing them slowly so that they could rise up the ranks. ‘Thank you, Barry,’ he
said. ‘I’ll do that.’

  Barry gave him an approving nod. ‘Good lad.’

  Back in his office, Gimhana checked the time and dialled Chaya’s number. One of the other people in the lab answered.

  ‘She’s in the lab downstairs,’ she said. ‘I’ll just go get her.’

  He put the phone on speaker and opened up his email. He was soon so absorbed in what he was doing that Chaya’s voice, when it came on, made him jump.

  ‘Oh. Hi,’ he said. ‘It’s me, Gimhana.’

  ‘What do you want?’ Ah, Chaya. Never one for pleasantries. For a second he wondered how she’d cope with being at a party full of business types. But she was smart. He could trust her to pull out all the stops if she needed to.

  ‘Just a sec, I’ll just take you off speakerphone.’ He did so and got up and shut the door to his office for good measure.

  ‘Listen Chaya, I need a huge favour,’ he was almost whispering. He reminded himself, just in time, not to look furtive by hunching over the phone. He sat back, trying to look like he was talking to a client.

  ‘Sure, what is it?’

  ‘I need you to come with me to a work party two weeks on Friday.’

  ‘I can’t. I’m going to the pictures with Sara and her boys that night. I promised her.’

  Much as he loved Chaya, she could be so obsessed with routine. Gimhana tried again. ‘Could you go to the cinema another day? Please, this is really important. Sara will understand, won’t she?’

  ‘I… suppose. Why is it so important?’

  ‘You know I was telling you about the partnership… well there’s a good chance that I might get it. Trouble is, the senior partner is a bit old-fashioned…’ he trailed off.

  ‘And?’ said Chaya, a little impatiently.

  ‘And I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘I’m really sorry to ask you this, but the senior partners are always talking about how it’s important that all the partners in the firm have solid families behind them and all that sort of thing. Then he asked me if I had a wife and I said no, but that I was seeing someone. He said I should bring my girlfriend along to the golden anniversary bash. So, please? Will you come?’