by C A A Allen
Dread stood on one foot, held the other in his hands, and tried to massage it through his boot. “How much longer? My feet hurt.”
I gave Dread a nudge, knocking him off balance. “We’re almost there.”
“Good,” Chaz said. “Why anyone would want to live in the middle of nowhere I will never understand.”
“I really want to thank you for being a part of this run Chaz,” I said. “But I got to ask, why don’t your parents just pay your tuition into Questing University?”
Chaz kicked a pinecone off the trail into the brush. “My mother and father want me to be a beekeeper and mead maker, but that’s not what I want. I am going to be a great Questing University fighter, just like my brother.”
“I can understand that,” I said. “If my father pushed me to be a troubadour I would push back too. I plan on being a great quester, and a businessman. Once I start making gold from questing on the university’s team, Dread and I will have the means to open up an explosives shop in Rettingham.”
“That’s right boy,” Dread said. “I’m going to hire two of the finest young ladies from that city to work in the shop. Then I’m going to kick my feet up and manage the gold flow.” Dread pointed through a clump of trees. “I think I see the house. And just in time too, my feet are absolutely killing me. It’s my bunions, oh my bunions, they’re on fire right about now.”
“That is it, just across the stream.” I veered off the main road to a smaller trail. “Follow me.”
The stream was wide, shallow, and had greenish brown water that smelled of dead fish. When I stepped into it sticky green slush covered my boot. “Ugh, this water is way nasty. Watch your step.”
Chaz trudged behind me. “I can’t believe you two already have complaints. Your feet burn Dread? We have a lot of walking to do before we get to the Cave Maze. And Raff, if you think this stream is nasty, you will love the streams of bloody hell hound guts, and rancid orc limbs in the Cave Maze.”
Dread took tall steps thru the muck, strands of slimy green vines hung off his boots with every step. “I’m surprised your feet don’t hurt Chaz. With those bungling clod-hoppers you got on.”
“These boots were made by the best cobbler in Sneinton,” Chaz said. “The same man who makes boots for the university’s questing team. Needless to say my feet are comfortable and have no bunions.”
“Why don’t Tigress have a bridge, anyway?” Dread reached the bank first and kicked a boot against a rock to clear it.
I didn’t bother to kick the muck off my boots. It was too thick to knock free. “Why don’t you ask her?”
“Raff!” Tigress waved at us from her porch. “Come quick, this way!”
She was tall with pointed ears. Her sleek brunette hair was in a high ponytail with two long braids running down the side. Her elven side resembled the beautiful coastal elves who lived on the ocean cliffs, not the toll-collecting elves from our light woods.
She ran into a ramshackle old barn alongside her house. I couldn’t help but stare at the sway in her voluptuous hips-the tell-tale sign she was part human. Full blood elves just didn’t have curves like that.
I covered my mouth and nose with my hands, took a few breaths, then raised my palms up. “Breath as fresh as an ice cold spearmint rhino! Let’s go get our third fighter. Team Beeston is almost complete.”
A large circular target hung on the barn. Arrows stuck from various places on the barn, but only one dangled off the bottom of the target.
“Look at that Dread,” I said. “Tigress has been practicing her archery skills.”
Dread laughed. “At least she was able to hit the broad side of the barn several times. The actual target is nearly untouched.”
Chaz exhaled loud. “And this is going to be our archer?”
“You two know Tigress is a beast with her daggers,” I said in her defense. “I could care less about her archery skills really, there won’t be no need for them the way we are going to fight. Swords and daggers are going to do the job for us, we going to be a team that slices and dices.”
The three of us walked into the barn. There was a large-scale open top maze here. Its vertical walls stretched high enough that a belette could not see over, even when standing on hind legs. A rope led from the center, to the rafters, where a system of thin walking boards led to a loft.
“The sniffer training area,” I said. “Looks like fun.”
Tigress and her mother had Mustela on an exam table in the back corner. Several small iron knifes, fleams, and tin cups hung on the wall behind them. A cabinet with various jars, and a cloth-covered glass bowl with swimming leeches sat nearby. Mustela was wound up in a spiral, releasing a low-whine.
Tigress dropped a canister of steaming towels in her rush to get them to the table. “She’s preparing to give birth. Mustela is way to old to be pregnant. We’re having a difficult time with it.” She pinch-tossed several towels up to the table. “This will definitely be her last baby.”
Mustela twitched, and rolled around in frantic convulsions. The whine now turned to a hi-pitched screech.
Tigress cradled Mustela’s head in a blanket. “Here comes the baby!”
CHAPTER 8
The kit oozed out of Mustela’s right ear. The new mother let out a series of rapid chattering chirps.
Dread backed away from the scene. “Oh my damn. Something just slimed out her ear.”
“That’s her baby fool.” Tigress gently scooped up the newborn. “That’s how sniffers give birth, right ear male, left ear female. We have a healthy baby boy here.”
Chaz turned around, bent over, and heaved. “Disgusting! What twisted creature gives birth through the ear?”
“If you think that’s unusual you should see how they conceive.” She cleaned the baby with one of the hot towels.
“No thank you,” Chaz scoffed. “Absolutely no need to see that.”
Tigress handed the newborn to her mother, who then whisked it off to the house. She then fluffed up a pile of plush blankets and laid Mustela in the warming nest.
Tigress propped her hands on her hips, and raised an eyebrow. “So Raff, Dread, and Chazekial. I sure hope one of you brought me some of that good Beeston honey mead. We can celebrate Mustela’s new baby, it’s quite a miracle for a sniffer of her age to give birth successfully. Now if you’re here to let me know who won the scholarship, I already heard. Zombo winning was no surprise to me. Magic users are incredible, have you seen the way he can make fire on his thumb?”
“Nobody care about that scholarship,” Dread said. “Or that magic user.”
“Let me handle this Dread,” I said. “Tigress, we came here to talk business with you today, but I’m going to need a moment just to look at you. I sure have missed Beeston’s sweetest honeybee. It’s true what my dad says, you are the most beautiful girl ever to come out of our village—”
Tigress held up a hand. “Mustela has been in labor since before dawn Raff. You really need to let me get cleaned up before you talk all that mess.”
I wasn’t ready to stop the flattery. We needed her on our team and every woman-half-elf or not-liked a compliment. “You look great, midwife Tigress.” I caught Dread rolling his eyes. “Sorry guys, I needed to get that out, I sure have missed this girl since—”
“Ahem!” Dread interrupted. “Raff is trying to say that we are here on some real serious business.”
“That is correct,” Chaz said. “Business, and I did bring some top shelf honey wine from my family’s meadery. Let’s talk about this over a drink, I am sure we can all use one after what we just witnessed here. I mean, you know, to celebrate the ear-birth.”
As we approached the barn’s exit Dread stopped where three chests lined the wall. The first one was a moderate pine box with two iron straps. He knocked on the top of it. “These are some choice chests.”
“They have origins in the Cave Maze,” Tigress said. “I use them for sniffer training.”
Dread knelt down and gave the chest lo
cking plate a once over. “It’s just a simple pin tumbler lock. The goods in this chest would easily be had.” He twisted, and pulled out one of the plate’s fastener pins. “That is if you were clever enough to disengage this secret catch.”
Dread walked over to the next chest-a large rectangular six-board design made from oak. Five iron bands and duel pad locks secured its lid. Decorative low-relief carving covered the front, including a precisely carved gothic inscription.
“Do you know what it says?” Dread asked.
Tigress blew dust from the carving. “It reads ‘Remember thy last end, and thou shalt never sin’ if I’m not mistaken. You don’t want to open this one, there’s a cursed amulet inside.”
“Cursed amulet nothing,” Dread said. “Watch how quick I open these locks—”
Tigress took a step back. “I’m told exposure to the amulet will litter your face with genital hag warts.”
Dread froze, and then backed away. “Actually this chest doesn’t interest me. What’s the story with this other one?”
I stifled a laugh. Not sure if Tigress was joking or not, but the look on Dread’s face wouldn’t leave my mind any time soon.
The third in line was a large iron strong box with lifting handles at each end. A single bronze pad lock with a decorative figural cover protected it. The image was a male face with straight bangs, an exaggerated nose, and a vacant expression.
Chaz bent over to get a look at the lock. “An ugly face.”
Dread knelt down next to him and lifted the locks cover. “The uglier the face, the deadlier the trap.”
“I bet you can’t figure it out.” Tigress tossed her long hair back. I had trouble keeping my eyes on Dread’s work.
Dread let the cover fall. “This is a trick lock. Any attempt to insert something into the keyhole would set off the trap.” He dug into his pouch and pulled out a thin strip of metal. “The secret is the narrow slot at the top side of the head.” He inserted the strip into the slot. “This lock is filled with a mixture of huo-yau and acid. If I do this wrong it’s going to blow.”
Chaz removed the shield from his pack, and held it forward. “What about the slot at the figure’s neck?”
Dread moved his head in close to the lock. “That slots the decoy, I think.” He gave the metal strip a gentle push with his thumb. The lock fell undone.
Tigress pushed the lock back closed. “The huo-yau and acid were removed long before I got this chest, but nice job Dread.”
Chaz replaced his shield. “Can we get back to business? Training chests with no gold don’t interest me.”
Sure they didn’t. But at least Chaz got to see Dread work. Chaz wouldn’t back down from the quest now, and hopefully neither would Tigress.
“Let’s get into the house,” Tigress said. “I can’t wait to hear what this real serious business is all about.” We walked with Tigress to her front porch. “Come on in. Oh, wait. Leave those filthy boots out here, and next time find a better place to cross that grungy stream. It’s going to take you all forever to clean those off.”
We followed Tigress into the kitchen where we sat at an unsteady wooden round table. I broke down our Cave Maze plan over a meal of rye bread and stew.
“This was Mustela’s last birth,” Tigress said. “My mother and I will be needing a new way to bring gold into this house without her breeding. We’ve already taken a couple of advances on this baby, there won’t be much profit remaining after we turn him over. I’m willing to join your team but there’s a complication.”
She paused and looked down with a blank expression. “I can’t get Mustela into this so soon after her giving birth. Not only is she exhausted, but I should not remove her from the baby so soon. Can’t we rent a sniffer in Trosworth, or just go in without one?”
“We absolutely must have a sniffer,” I said. “Not only for accreditation, but a good sniffer will help keep us alive. You know that better than anyone.”
“Renting won’t work,” Dread said. “No one rents sniffers to unknown questing teams.”
“Right,” Chaz said. “Even if we found someone willing to rent, the cost would be too high. We barley have enough gold in the budget to pay the elves’ toll and hire a magic user.”
I sopped up the last trace of stew with my bread and scarfed it down. “I’ve heard a lot of stories at the shop about successful runs in the Maze. All of them have included a good map, and a good sniffer. You got to have both or you’re dead at any level. Mustela is legendary. Some of the best questing team captains seek out her offspring for their teams. We don’t just have a good map, we have a great map, and with Mustela on the team, we will have a great sniffer. Everything will be in place for us to take home a pile of gold if we have those things.”
Tigress laid her hands flat on the table and rapidly tapped her fingers. “If Mustela’s ear recovers properly, I’m in. We should know her status in the morning.”
“The morning will be too late,” I said. “In order to stay on schedule we have to be in Chilwell by the end of today.”
Tigress’ brows edged together. “Well the answer is no then. Mustela needs to rest. I have seen these things take from one day, to a week to heal. I do know she will be amazing in the Maze. It’s what she’s been longing to do forever.” She stood and gathered her dishes. “I got to go help Mom.” She left the room.
Chaz squeezed his cup. “I will not stay in this desolate slum another night, much less several days. Having no sniffer is a change of plans that’s taking me back to Beeston in the morning.”
“We do have a time-sensitive schedule to keep,” Dread said.
“We all do,” Chaz said. “I had to anonymously borrow a substantial amount of gold coins from the meadery’s coffer for this-a coffer that gets audited often.”
I leaned into the table. “Tigress’s mother is a wise woman, she will have Mustela ready by daybreak. Just let them do their thing.” I leaned back. “We can use this time to discuss our strategy anyway. I am thinking the three of us will make up the front fighting line, with Tigress and our magic user in the back.”
“That’s not how they do it,” Chaz said. “My brother says the front fighting line should always be made up of the team’s two best fighters, with whoever has the sniffer on their shoulder between them. That’s where the sniffer is most effective at identifying danger.”
I am pleasantly surprised at how much insight Chaz has on what to expect in the Maze. The information he’s picked up from his brother’s stories around the Manor family dinner table is invaluable.
Late in the evening Tigress came into the kitchen and took a seat. She folded her arms on the table, rested a cheek on them, and looked at me.
“How’s Mustela?” I asked.
“Uggh, give me strength.” She closed her eyes and snuggled in. “I’m going to need a tall cup of that honey wine Chaz, I’m afraid it doesn’t look good at all. Mustela’s really weak. My mother has resorted to an old remedy using vinegar and rose water.”
That wasn’t the news I wanted. I glanced at Chaz to gauge his reaction. He filled all our cups to the brim. “It’s official, I’m heading back home.”
Bam! Mustela pounced down in the center of the table from out of the rafters. She then swooped in on Tigress’ cup of mead and lapped it up wildly.
“Hey Mustela!” I allowed my tension to whoosh out of me with the greeting. “Looks like that remedy worked.” She turned from the cup, zipped over to me and licked my face. I stroked her silky smooth ginger and cream fur. “Congratulations on the baby buck, girl, very well done.” She purred and rubbed her nose on my hand.
Dread tried to stand but stumbled and spilt some of his drink. “Well pour another round for Mustela and her kit then. It looks like the run is straight on!”
Our team’s belette puffed out her tail, arched her back, bounced, flipped, and hopped around the house in a frenzy.
“That’s the war dance,” Tigress said. “She’s ready.”
I stood fro
m the table to watch the show. “Team, we are off to Chilwell in the morning.”
Several rounds of mead, and a lot of reminiscing later we prepared for bed. Tigress’ mother made us up straw pallets to sleep on. They wouldn’t have been very comfortable if it wasn’t for the unusually nice sheets she somehow provided. Dread and Chaz quickly passed out under the heavy influence of wine. I was getting ready to lie down when Tigress quietly stepped into the room.
“Raff,” she whispered. “I have something to show you, follow me.”
I staggered into the door jamb, and wiped perspiration from my forehead. “That smooth mead really sneaks up on you.”
Tigress took my hand and smiled. “You shouldn’t drink so much if you can’t hang.” She tiptoed to a window that overlooked her porch. “Look down at your boots. Tell me what you see.”
CHAPTER 9
I peered out of the window and tried to focus. An old hob couple sat with Dread’s and my boots in hand. The male had a long white beard and cone hat, the female silver hair and a lace-decorated bonnet. They both were extremely short, flat-faced humanoids with pointy ears and simple brown wool garments. The two of them smiled and bobbed their heads as they scrubbed and polished the boots vigorously.
Tigress put her hands on my shoulders and rose up on her toes. “Well, what do you see?”
I rubbed my eyes and put my forehead on the glass. A female sat on a box near the couple with one leg crossed over the other. She was slim, and taller than the others. Is that an elf?
She handed the male hob a canister of wax, in exchange for a bottle of oil. Her loose curly long tresses were the color of autumn leaves. Brown roots transitioned burgundy and then into glistening golden ends. Her outfit was the same color and material as the couple’s, but a tight, low-cut version. Who is this fine thing?
“Either someone slipped a hallucinogen in my mead, or I see what I think are hobs cleaning our boots.”
Tigress smiled brightly. “You see them? I knew you would. That’s our brownie family.”
