by C A A Allen
“This place is jam packed!” Dread said. “I’m glad we got these seats, it’s standing room only in this bootch.”
Two men took positions at either end of the small stage. The room rumbled when one started a drum roll on an animal skin covered, hollowed out tree trunk. The other man plucked the strings of a chitarrone so tall it nearly touched the ceiling. The bass line he produced created a groove that begged the crowd to move their feet.
The beefy door man came in the front door with Riff on his shoulders. My father broke into a furious rhythm on his lute, which sent many patrons, mainly the young girls, rushing to the center of the room where they danced. The beefy man brought Riff up through the middle of the room to the stage, where he jumped off and busted onto a body-moving melody. The trio transitioned to an upbeat drinking song that made all of King Heads erupt with drunken happiness.
The music was like a beacon to the connected brothel, it spilled half naked girls out onto the great room floor adding to the frenzy. I had the urge to order another drink but the bartender’s workload had tripled. It seemed everyone wanted a drink in hand to celebrate the night. My dad waved for us to come closer to the stage. He then jumped down into the spirited crowd.
Dread launched out of his seat and bobbed his head with a neck-breaking bounce. “Riff sounds great!” He moved toward a redheaded beauty, grabbed her by the hand, and took her deep into the circle of drunken partygoers to dance.
I stood up and extended my hand toward Tigress. “Let’s do this.”
She drank back the last of her mead, took my hand, and pulled me toward the crowd. “You’re lucky this is my song.”
Tigress’s dancing was as smooth as her knife-twirling. I spent half the time dancing and the other half admiring her moves.
After my father’s performance, we returned to the bar.
“That felt great,” Tigress said. “I see an open table in the back, let’s go talk.”
On the way to the table Mustela jumped on Tigress’ shoulder and chirped in her ear. Tigress’ face turned sour. When we took a seat she looked down with a frown. “Mustela’s got word that the Maze has been a bloodbath lately. Many cruel new traps have mangled even veteran questers.”
CHAPTER 11
My father, Dread, and Chaz sat down at the table with us.
“Well Tigress,”—Riff wiped the sweat of his forehead with one hand and signaled for a drink with the other—“I can confirm that Mustela’s information is true. It seems an anonymous questing team recently pulled one of Talhoffer’s personal treasures from the caves. Whenever this happens the man gets malicious and switches up some things. New monsters, enhanced traps, and changing tunnels are a few of the twists you can expect. I’ve seen this happen before, it can be an ugly time for questers.”
I grew nauseous. Going into the Maze with Talhoffer on the warpath seems wrong. Lives were at stake, and I, being the team captain, was responsible for their safety. Waiting until the Maze cooled off would be the smart decision here.
“Talhoffer’s personal treasures are very valuable,” Riff said. “Questing University’s Chancellor Liberi has a standing offer of sixteen hundred gold coins to anyone who brings him one of those treasures.”
Chaz practically fell out of his chair. He regained his composure, lifted his eyebrows, and leaned forward like an attentive pupil.
“Who’s Talhoffer?” Tigress asked.
“Talhoffer is the wizard that created, and lives in the Maze.” Riff eyed Chaz with a sneer. “I sure hope you don’t think you’ll find one of Talhoffer’s personal items. It rarely happens. I was lucky enough to see the last one found.”
His drink arrived and we all went silent until the barmaid walked away. Then my father continued. “A few years ago a questing team led by Morbosto Morribund brought one in to King Heads here. All Talhoffer’s personal treasures are kept in fancy oak boxes bearing his crest. Morbo strutted in with the box. Everyone at the Inn gathered around when he opened it. Talhoffer’s Gold Medallion rested inside. Wearing the medallion more than doubles a fighter’s skill, strength, and stamina. After a long night of celebrating Morbo gave the oak box to King Head’s proprietor in exchange for a bloated bar tab. You can see the box on the top shelf behind the bar now.”
Tigress leaned forward with eyes wide open. “I was admiring that box earlier. It’s exquisitely crafted. What treasure did this anonymous questing team find?”
“I haven’t got word of that yet,” Riff said. “I’m hoping it was Talhoffer’s Hammer of Teleportation. I got fifteen gold coins bet that it is at the tavern in Trosworth. I’m sure it will be known soon, probably when the finder puts it up for sale.”
“What other treasures are to be had, Riff?” Tigress asked.
“Let me tell you about a few of my favorites.” Riff pulled a betting slip from his pocket.
LAIS DIJON TAVERN FUTURES:
ODDS A TALHOFFER ITEM WILL BE FOUND BY NEXT HARVEST.
Blade Cusinart /50 to 1
Diamond Trimed Nostrum Goblet / 50 to 1
Platinum Flask of Basilisk Saliva / 50 to 1
Rod of Flame / 50 to 1
Cane of Braggadocio / 50 to 1
Hammer of Teleportation / 50 to 1
Gold Ring of Enhanced Wizardry / 150 to 1
Ointment of Metamorphosis / 500 to 1
Murasama Blade / 750 to 1
Werdna’s Amulet / 2000 to 1
Mechanical Gold Cuckoo / 2000 to 1
Odds subject to change.
Dread scooted his chair in close to Riff’s. “Yeah, what other treasures are there?” He leaned in and squinted to view the slip.
Riff moved his hand shielding Dreads view. “The Platinum Flask of Basilisk Saliva would be a profitable find. A small drop of it can turn flesh to stone, or stone to flesh. My favorite Talhoffer item rumored to be in the Maze would be the Cane of Braggadocio. It gives the holder the gift of gab. I was told a zombie could charm the panties off a mermaid with that cane in hand.”
Dread eyes widened. “We got to find that cane.”
Tigress sat back in her chair. “It sure would be nice to find one of those items.”
Riff smirked. “It wasn’t very nice for Morbo. That medallion became a millstone around his neck. You see some of Talhoffer’s treasures can be tricky. That medallion was a one-owner item. Once Morbo draped it around his neck, the medallion couldn’t be removed, well at least not easily. In the case of Morbo the medallion was removed when a rival cut off his head for it. He would have been much better off if he kept it in the box and sold it. But it’s like I told Chaz, don’t count on finding one of these items. They’re known to be located at least ten levels deep in the Maze, and usually under the protection of some unbeatable beast.”
Instead of intimidating me, the idea of a Talhoffer treasure invigorated my adventurous side. I’d get a Talhoffer treasure someday-maybe not on this run but…someday.
“So what do you think of our strategy for this Uncle Riff?” Dread asked. “Do you think I’ll be able to pop open the chests found on the first few levels?”
Riff chuckled. “Will you be able to pop them open? You’re my brother’s son, right? Opining difficult treasure chests is a skill that runs in the family blood nephew. Chests on the upper levels will not be a problem for you.”
Dread leaned back with his hands behind his head. “Listen to the man team. You got the best,”—he tapped a thumb on his own chest—“right here.”
“Yes we do,” I said.
“And what of the monsters on those levels Unk?” Dread asked. “Your son here seems to think he can handle hellhounds with ease.”
“I never worry about hellhounds,” Riff said. “It’s those crotch masticators that put up a fight. They’re just like hellhounds, but instead of trying to burn you up, they dead set on tearing your groin to shreds.”
Dread grimaced. “We won’t run into any of those on the first few levels, will we?”
“Doubtful.” Riff swallowed the
dregs of his first cup of mead. “I would say you got to be six levels down before you have that displeasure.” He looked over his shoulder, put one finger up, and motioned to the man behind the bar.
“Order one for me too Unk.” Dread said quickly.
Riff threw two fingers up and shook them. “So you got the thief position filled perfectly with Dread here, let me speak to you three fighters. I’ve seen all of you in combat, and I know your skills. You won’t have a problem with your foes down there if you follow my instructions exactly.”
The barmaid set two cups of mead on the table. Riff and Dread simultaneously picked them up, clanked cups, and drank them down in one shot. “A quester with no instruction is headed for self destruction. Listen up close. First you got to pick up a decent magic user, look for one with a good defensive spell. Second is you must always take heed to Mustela’s alerts.”
Riff smiled and scratched our belette under her chin. “I know this sniffer right here, she got a nose for the truth. Now this last one is the most critical.”
Riff adjusted himself, and then looked us over with stern eyes. “If I bless this team with my map, you all have got to follow the path that I am going to lay out with no variation. I will indicate five rooms on the first two levels that should have bountiful chests, and damn near nothing guarding them. If you don’t find what you came for in these five rooms then you’ll need to cut your losses and turn back. Staying on the first two levels, and knowing where you’re at in the Maze, is the only way you will survive.”
He leveled his gaze at Chaz, as if he knew Chaz’s fickle personality was our weakest link. “If you start wandering off the path, or go deeper into this thing, you’ll be biting off much more mutton than you can chew. You would need a lot more than three fighters to survive below level three. You know I’m not as worried about you all in the first couple levels of the Maze as I am about you making it to the service entrance alive. It can be a deadly journey just getting there.”
“That will not be a problem,” Chaz said. “I am going to pay for our safe passage to and from the Entry Caves utilizing the Elvin Toll Road.”
“Well that is a problem,” Riff said. “The service entrance isn’t located anywhere near the over-quested Entry Caves. You won’t be using the Elvin Toll Road, or the blood stained Trollbotten Path to get there. The service entrance has remained untapped because it is located far off the well-worn path, high up in the North East hills. You all will be traveling up the Carling Trail to the Ruins. That’s where you’ll enter the Cave Maze.”
Chaz clinched his jaw. “Another change in plans, Raff? I did not agree to a journey up that archaic trail.”
Did Chaz have any flexibility? I rolled my eyes. He wouldn’t back down now, though. My father just admitted to having the map. It was as real as ever and that would be plenty to lasso Chaz’s greed.
“Well the Carling Trail is the only way to the service entrance.” Riff didn’t seem concerned by Chaz’s hesitance. “Chaz are you aware of how much gold the elves charge for the privilege of using their toll road? The cost has gone up to ten gold coins per head, and that’s just one way.”
“Ten gold coins per head you say?” Chaz looked away and scratched his chest. “The Carling Trail will be an acceptable detour.”
My chest swelled. With every word, we drew closer to dominating the Maze. This was real. My dream and hopes were finally amounting to something. Soon, I’d be walking into the university with tuition paid in full.
Two half-clothed ladies decked in matching green apparel appeared on each side of Riff. One slipped something in his pocket and whispered in his ear. He calmly tweaked the tilt of his hat, stood up, and put his arms around them. “I have arranged for a couple of rooms. One for Tigress, and another for you three. You’ll want to get a good night’s rest. Dread, that means no gambling tonight. I suggest you all book passage on the first wagon to Trosworth.”
Dread looked down at his boots. “Yes! The wagon sounds like a great idea. I’m through with all this walking everywhere. My feet can’t take any more roasting.”
“Come on up to my room son,” Riff said. “I just might have a Cave Maze map for you to hold.”
CHAPTER 12
My father’s party and I ascended a spiral staircase to the Inn’s second level, and his room. Inside, two chairs and a small oval table formed a large sitting area. A window overlooking the woods at the rear of the inn let in moonlight.
One of the lady friends gently presented my father with a cylindrical brown leather tube, and then followed the other lady through a thick door curtain.
“You got a separate bedroom in here?” I asked.
Riff took a seat and laid the tube in his lap. “I always included the nicest accommodations available as part of my payment rider. This place is big on the amenities, but low on the pay.”
I pulled out a chair and sat on the padded seat. “Thank you for getting us the rooms. It’s sure going to be a lot nicer than sleeping in the common one with all those random questers.”
“Enjoy it while you can son, accommodations get worse as you get closer to the Maze.” He stared at me for a brief moment, then looked down at his hands and cracked his knuckles. “If you’re going to lead a questing team into this thing, and use my map, you need to know the history of both. First let me tell you about this Cave Maze.”
He laid the tube on the table. “Talhoffer played a major role in the barbarian’s defeat. He was known for his ability to mix crippling potions, magically infuse weapons, and design ingenious, magic-machine mongrel battle devices. After the barbarians were defeated, he built a home high in the Hagridden Mountains with the intention of continuing his work in absolute peace. At the time his home could only be reached by negotiating a long twisty cave tunnel. Guards would guide his prestigious guests back and forth through it to his house.”
Riff ran his hand across the tube. “Rumors surfaced that some of Talhoffer’s gold, and magic items could be found in the tunnel. This caused treasure seekers to explore the caves with hopes of striking it rich. Some of them found themselves all the way to Talhoffer’s residence. That made him furious.”
“What did he do about it?” I itched to take the tube from him and peek inside.
“The wizard added levels and twists to the cave tunnel making it more difficult for strangers to end up at his home. But that was not enough, even with the new precautions uninvited guests kept showing up at Talhoffer’s doorstep. One day a group of treasure seekers led by an Evon named Subooti made it to the compound and performed the ultimate insult… they stole one of the wizard’s personal magic items. After that incident the party was over for good. The man moved a seedy orc horde into what is now called the Cave Maze, and went into seclusion.”
Riff unbuckled the tube’s top closure strap. “Talhoffer later had a change of heart. He had his guards post announcements stating that treasure would be dispensed throughout the Maze for those daring to enter. He even let it be known that a few of his magic items would be in it for the taking.”
“So that’s how the questing business got started.” I breathed in the new information. Ah, the intoxication of knowledge. “Those first teams in must have come up on a lot of good stuff. The Maze must have been ripe for the picking back then.” If only it were still like that.
Riff pulled the top closure from the tube reviling the upper portion of the map. “Not really, a lot of them died when they forgot everything that glitters isn’t gold. It was quickly discovered that treasure seekers would not only have to deal with the inhospitable orcs that lived there, but also with a plethora of twisted magical, and mechanical killing traps he placed throughout the complex.”
Riff began to pull the map from the tube but pushed it back in. What a tease. I almost laughed.
“Now let me tell you all about this map. Before the wizard went into seclusion he would hire your Uncle Mack and I to entertain at his parties—”
“Hold up Dad.” I looked at him in a
new light. “You performed for Talhoffer? I didn’t know wizards liked to party. What was that like?”
“Talhoffer’s parties were quite an affair. There was always plenty of well-prepared meat, fish, vegetables, and of course a bottomless cup of wine. I would do my thing on the lute, while your uncle amused with his conjuring, and juggling skills. We also had worked a revolving group of pretty young ladies into the act.”
Riff smiled and raised his eyebrows. “Oooh, we had a fine stable of gold-making lovelies back then. Those girls really knew how to make the guests feel at ease. We were liked so much we got invited back to perform at all Talhoffer’s parties. We got to entertain for some of the most brilliant people ever. The alchemist Paul of Taranto—or Geber as we called him—was my favorite. He would talk your ear off about manipulating metals. I’m sure he helped Talhoffer come up with some of the more gruesome traps in the Maze. I would also overhear discussions on philosophy, science, magic, and battle strategy. The possibility of an Evon invasion seemed a common topic amongst them. I was really upset when Talhoffer stopped having parties, those were Mack’s and my greatest days as entertainers.”
Finally, he removed the map from the tube. “We were given access to the service entrance during the Maze’s construction. Guards would hide the way in by blindfolding us at first. But after they got to know us, and our girls, they did away with the blindfolds and took us through the service entrance with no obstructions.” He carefully unrolled the map and laid it out. It was a perfect square sheet of vellum with black, red, and green ink. “This is side one, it shows the way to the entrance.”
I stood from my chair and hovered over the table. “I knew the map was real.”
Riff’s head snapped up. He looked at me with one brow raised. “You thought it wasn’t?”
I grinned. “A man can have his doubts, especially when it involves you and Uncle Mack.”
Riff laughed and flipped the map over to reveal four equal squares in black ink. Three of the squares showed a labyrinth of branching zig-zag corridors, and rooms. “And this is side two, it shows—”
