“Caveman much?” I ask.
“Not at all, just know what I want.”
“Nick, you don’t even know me,” I whisper.
“And we’ll fix that too, because you don’t know me. Didn’t say shit was gonna happen today, Shayla. Just giving you a head’s up that I’m in your life and I’m here to stay.”
I ponder his words. Can I trust him? So far, he’s acted with integrity. Can I have what my heart has always longed for? There’s so much he doesn’t know, and I dread telling him about my past, but I know he’s gonna have to know it if he plans to be a part of my life. So much fucking baggage to unpack.
“Then we’ll unpack it together. My bags too,” he replies.
“I said that last part out loud, didn’t I?” I mutter.
“Yep. Shayla, being in the military taught me one thing and that is life is too short. If you find something you want, you need to grab onto it with both hands and hold on tight.”
Just as I’m about to reply, Jaycie, along with two other women, comes into the room. “Good morning, Shayla. I want to introduce you to my best friend, Riley, and my mom, Brenda. She’s not really my biological mom, but she’s Mom to me. She’s got a trailer for you and Amelia once you’re discharged and Brody has a waitress position waiting as well. Now, what do you need for this precious angel?”
I stare at the older woman in shock. No one has been there for me since I aged out of the foster care system except Quentin. “Um, I left pretty much everything at the apartment when I ran. I packed the clothes, diapers, and bottles, and a few of her toys, but that’s it.”
“And what about you?” Nick asks.
“That bag you brought into your mom’s house? That’s my stuff.”
“All of it?” he inquires. I hang my head in shame as I nod. I can feel my cheeks heating in embarrassment and wish I was somewhere else. The next thing I know, he’s crouching in front of me and lifting my chin so he can see my eyes. “Baby, no worries, okay? We’ll get you sorted, don’t stress.”
“Okay, so I’ve got some friends who’ve had babies that are now toddlers. I’m going to see if they’ve got any of the basics we can use. That’s okay with you, isn’t it?” Jaycie questions.
“I’m okay with that, Jaycie, thank you,” I murmur.
“And I think I’m about your size,” Riley states, “so I’ll go through and grab you some clothes you can have.”
I can’t help it. At their words, I burst into tears at the sheer kindness from these virtual strangers. As I cover my face and sob, I feel myself being picked up and then cuddled on a lap with strong arms wrapped around me. “Go ahead and cry, sweetheart,” he whispers. “Seems like you’ve held a lot inside for a long ass time.” I can only nod at his words. Life has sucked for the last few years and I’m tired of feeling like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. He holds me for long minutes until I finally calm. He takes the wet cloth his mom hands him and gently wipes my face of the tears before asking, “Better?”
“Yeah, I’m sorry for breaking down like that.”
“Never apologize for emotions, they’re raw and real and you’ve apparently been holding it all in for a while now.”
Before I can respond, Amelia lets out a little cry and I pull away from his lap and go over to the bed, slipping my hand into the hole in the side so I can grip her little hand. “Hey, sweet girl, Momma’s here.”
Bright blue eyes stare at me and I smile through the remaining tears. “You’re gonna be okay, Amelia. These nice people are gonna help us. It’s gonna be just fine.”
I feel him at my back as he leans in and says, “Yeah, it’s gonna be just fine, you’ll see.”
* * *
Three days later, armed with prescriptions for an at-home nebulizer and meds, as well as another oral antibiotic, we’re both discharged. The follow-up appointments for my arm and for the baby were made with the local providers and I cringe at the cost of those visits. I know what Nick has said, but I don’t wanna be beholden to anyone, especially not a man I’ve just met. “You ready to see your new place?” he asks, coming into the room.
“Just waiting on the transport person. Seems you can’t walk out on your own two legs!” I mutter, which causes him to laugh.
“Let me go pull my dad’s SUV around, okay? Already got the carseat in it, and that way, I can make sure it’s warm enough for you both. If you’re up to it later, I’ll take you shopping for some clothes. Mom, Aunt Riley and Grandma B already bought groceries for your new place. I think you’ll like it.”
“I still can’t believe all of this,” I state. “I mean, this kind of stuff doesn’t happen to people like me.”
“Believe it, sweetheart.” I can only stare at him as he walks over to the hospital bed and picks Amelia up before cradling her in his arms. “I have to go back home but want to see you settled. But I’ll be back as often as work allows so we can get to know one another, okay?”
I think about everything I know about him so far – he’s kind, somewhat of a caveman, handsome as sin with his dark hair and eyes, and he puts off a vibe that has my body reacting in ways I’ve never felt before. “So…we’re gonna start unpacking those bags, huh?”
“Absolutely.”
“Are you two ready to get out of here?” the nurse asks as she brings in a transport wheelchair. She goes around the room and gathers the things used for Amelia, stating, “We can’t reuse these once we open them for a patient, so you may as well take them home. Plus, the girls and I chipped in and picked up a few outfits and some formula and bottles for you. I overheard that you were leaving a bad situation and several of us have been there, so we wanted to help.” Tears come to my eyes at the nurses’ thoughtfulness, and they fall down my cheeks when the nurse hands me an envelope, saying, “This is for you to use however you need.”
“Nick? I…I think I was meant to break down that day.”
“Yeah, sweetheart, I think you’re right,” he murmurs, his voice husky with emotion.
Nick
I pull up into the small driveway in front of a singlewide trailer. “There’s no way this is for me and Amelia!” she exclaims, looking at the exterior. “This is too much.”
“It’s for y’all. Now, let me help,” I command, when she tries to open her door. “My mom would kill me if I didn’t use the manners she drove into me.” She giggles and I continue, “You laugh but that woman can be brutal with a wooden spoon.”
She’s still laughing when I open her door and I grin before saying, “That’s a good look on you, baby.”
“What look?” she questions.
“You look happy and carefree, not stressed like you did when I first met you.”
She appears to be in thought before she nods. “I am happy. Amelia is getting better, I’m not walking around worried about the other shoe dropping, and somehow, despite my raggedy appearance, you’re interested in me.”
I smile before I lean in and kiss her forehead. The simple touch burns into my soul because it feels as though not many have treated her with gentleness and kindness. “Yeah, baby, I’m interested. It’s not gonna be easy because I don’t live here, but nothing worth having is ever easy, right?”
“Very true. Your mom wants me to see someone too, to make sure that what happened hasn’t ‘irrevocably damaged me’ or something like that.”
“Sounds like my mom. She’s a good woman, though, and her heart’s in the right place.”
“Oh, I’m not complaining. Maybe that person can help me unpack stuff too, who knows?”
“Probably so, I know I’m gonna check into the place that my president went to help me. Now, let’s get you two inside so you can see what you need and then I can take you shopping.”
“Nick, you don’t have to do that,” she advises as I quickly and efficiently get Amelia out of the car, placing the diaper bag on my other arm.
“Baby, you left with hardly anything for yourself and I’ve got sisters. I know that’s not normal.”
<
br /> She laughs as she follows me up the stairs to the front porch. When I open up the door, I can hear the gasp that escapes once she sees the inside. The living room is fully furnished in comfortable looking furniture and I can imagine relaxing with her curled next to me as Amelia plays at our feet while we watch television. “Nick, this is gorgeous!”
“Years ago, Grandma B and Dad decided they wanted to help those who needed a hand up, so they bought used trailers and set up this community. She always has a few that are ready for anyone who might need a place to stay.”
“How much is the rent?” she asks, looking around.
“There’s no cost for rent, just the utilities. We’ll get them switched into your name unless you’re worried about him finding you. If that’s the case, then we’ll put them in mine.”
“Can’t ask you to do that, Nick. You’ve already done so much.”
I ignore her, getting the baby’s jacket off before putting her in the playpen that’s set up in the corner. “C’mon, let me show you around. Mom’s gonna be here shortly to watch Amelia so I can take you shopping.” I grab her hand and lead her down the hallway to the master bedroom. “Mom and Aunt Riley bought the bedding, I hope you like it.”
“I love it, it’s something I would have picked out myself.”
“Good, now come see Amelia’s room. It’s generally used as an office since this is a four-bedroom place, but Mom figured you’d want her close.” I practically drag her out of the bedroom and to a smaller room that has already been set up as a nursery, complete with Peppa Pig decorations on the wall.
“Oh my goodness! She loves that show. I mean, I know she’s only nine months old, but whenever she sees it, she laughs and giggles.”
“One of Aunt Riley’s daughters has a little girl about the same age. She’s the one who thought of it.”
“She did good,” she replies, looking around the room. Every attention to detail has been thought of, from the crib to the changing table to the rocking chair in the corner. “It’s perfect and more than what she used to have.”
“Be prepared. You’re both going to be spoiled,” I tell her. “Now, how about you check out the kitchen and make a list of anything they didn’t get that you want to have.” Once again, I snag her hand and lead her to the kitchen.
“There’s no way I can repay y’all for this,” she states after looking in the refrigerator and pantry. “Other than a few small things, there’s not much I need!”
I grin at her before saying, “I need to ask you a question.”
“Okay,” she replied. “What is it?”
“How long before I can kiss you?”
She starts giggling at my words before she moves closer and says, “How about now?” I can see her holding her breath as I pull her close and cup her face in my hands. As I lean down, she closes her eyes and I nearly lose it when my lips caress hers. My lips continue moving over hers as my tongue swipes her bottom lip, requesting entry. Opening slightly, I feel her move even closer, wrapping her arms around my waist. I deepen the kiss and feel a sense of homecoming. Long moments pass as I continue to kiss her before pulling back and kissing her forehead.
“Never been much for kissing,” I admit, “but you’re becoming my new addiction.” Then I lean back in and kiss her until we’re breathless.
“Me either,” she says once I pull back again. “I mean, um, Quentin and I didn’t really have that kind of relationship.”
I pick her up and carry her over to the recliner before sitting down with her in my lap. “Tell me about him?” I quietly ask.
Shayla
Closing my eyes, I think about Quentin and then start talking. “I met Quentin in high school and we became friends. Folks thought we were a couple, but we weren’t.” At his raised eyebrow, I simply say, “Baggage number one.” He nods and I continue, “Anyhow, I aged out of the foster care system when I turned eighteen and he offered me a place to stay. As friends.”
“Okay, so then how did Amelia come about?” he asks.
“Getting there, Mr. Impatient,” I retort. “Things were okay for a few years. I went to the local college and was working on a vet tech degree. Quentin was in the automotive program and life was good. Then he fell into a crowd that liked to party all the time. Soon, he was skipping classes and spending his days either drunk or high. I tried to stay out of his way because he was an ugly drunk. Well, he was downright nasty either way, if I’m being truthful. A little over a year ago, I was home sick and sleeping the sleep of codeine, knocked out to the world. I uh…I woke up and he was on me and inside of me. I fought him but he was bigger and stronger than me. Six weeks later, I realized I was pregnant. I was scared to death to say anything to him for obvious reasons and had started saving so that I could leave. Only he found my stash and used it for drugs. By the time I started showing and he figured it out, it was too late to do what he wanted me to do.”
“He wanted you to get an abortion? The fucking rapist! What an asshole!” Nick exclaims, tightening his grip on me.
“Yeah, well who would believe that he did that? We lived together, and most people thought we were a couple. Anyhow, he started staying gone especially once Amelia was born. She had colic and ‘cried too much’ according to him. Once again, I started saving to leave, and found a better hiding spot for my money. The day…the day I left, I had come home, and he was there, drunk or high or maybe both, I don’t really know, and he started an argument with me. When I wouldn’t engage back, he shoved me. Then it was like all hell broke loose or something and he started beating on me. I tried to get away and he shoved me again and when I started falling, I reached out to keep from going through the sliding glass door. I guess that’s when my wrist broke. He eventually passed out and when he did, I grabbed what I could and left. The rest you know.”
By this time, I’m quietly crying, and he wraps his arms tighter around me as he rubs my back. “Shhh, Shayla, I’ve got you now and no one will ever hurt you again.”
“You can’t know that, Nick,” I sob. “What if he finds us and wants Amelia? He never had much to do with her, but he can be vindictive.”
“I promise you, he’ll find out who he’s messing with if he comes around here.”
“I hope you’re right.”
I see him open his mouth to respond then hear a knock on the screen door before Jaycie lets herself into the house. “Oh good, y’all are here,” she states. Nick starts laughing because their vehicle is in the driveway so who else would be here?
“Yeah, she’s had the tour, well, most of it. I didn’t show her the other bedrooms.”
“Jaycie, this is too big for just me and Amelia.”
“It’s the perfect size, so hush. Now, don’t you two have some shopping to do? I wanna watch this little angel for a bit and don’t need you two hovering as I play grandma.”
At that, Nick rolls his eyes. “C’mon, that’s our cue to beat feet,” he says, helping me stand. “Grab your purse and let’s go.”
* * *
Hours later, I look at the back of the SUV and start laughing. “Nick, I think we went overboard, don’t you?” He glances in the rearview mirror and shakes his head.
“Not at all. Baby, you needed clothes.”
“I could’ve gotten by with a few things, but goodness, a whole new wardrobe?”
“Well, I know you’ve dropped a lot of weight so anything you do have isn’t going to fit.”
“But now that I’ll be eating regularly, I’ll gain weight, and all of this will be useless.”
“Not really. Maybe the jeans, but the shirts and sweats will still be okay.”
“Whatever you say. Should we pick something up for dinner?”
“Naw, while we were at the last store, Mom texted me and Dad’s bringing us dinner from the diner.”
“Oh, that’s so sweet!”
“He’s got your uniform and schedule too, I think.”
“Wait, who’s going to watch Amelia while I work? And she’s still r
ecovering, I can’t leave her!”
“No worries, there’s an office there and Mom is usually there so she’ll watch her. There’s already one of those pack and play things from when she used to bring my brothers and sisters to work with her.”
“How can I work with this?” I ask, pointing to my casted wrist.
“Well, I’m sure he’ll probably put you at the counter so you can carry the plates of food one at a time instead of using a tray.”
I think about what he’s said and then nod. “That would work. I’m kind of excited.”
“Question for you. How close were you to finishing your degree?” he asks.
“Oh, I graduated last year, but wasn’t able to find anything with me being pregnant. Why?”
“Well, if this is going where I think it is, the sanctuary I oversee could always use a good vet tech.”
“I thought you did security?”
“I do that too, but my primary job is to oversee the animal sanctuary that Reese’s old lady started. I train the dogs that we rescue before we adopt them out.”
“Oh, that sounds so cool. Can…can I get settled here first?”
“Absolutely. I told you, we would get to know one another before we went further.”
Nick
Her smile makes my heart beat faster and I want to give her the world. But I know I still have to deal with the shit from before so she isn’t dealing with me in my broken form.
We continue to talk about inconsequential things as I drive her back to her new home. Already, I’m dreading going home, knowing she’s so far away.
5
Nick
After a kiss filled with promise, I leave and head back to my parents’ house. Dinner had been a fun-filled affair and they had left earlier to give us a chance to talk. I hadn’t missed Dad’s warning look or Mom’s grin when he ushered her out the door.
Nick: Black Tuxedos MC Page 4
