Hating to Love You (Houston's Finest #1)

by Erin Rylie

  “Well?” Carlos asked impatiently.

  Rafe looked up at his friend and back down to his phone, reading out loud, “‘Though most women experience morning sickness after six weeks of pregnancy, it can start as early as the fourth week.’ No, it isn’t possible. Carlos, it hasn’t been four weeks. Pull up the calendar on your phone.”

  Carlos was counting on his hand, ticking back the days, trying to calculate the number of weeks it had been since Rafe and Sophie had had sex at the bar. “Carlos! Stop fucking around and pull out your phone! It was the week before the music festival, remember?”

  His friend pulled out his cell phone, consulting the calendar app, as Rafe read and re-read the information on his screen.

  “Rafe…” Carlos said quietly. “It’ll have been four weeks tomorrow.”

  Sophie chose that moment to return from the bathroom. “I am so sorry about that, you guys.” She smiled ruefully at them. “Hopefully I didn’t ruin your appetite. I’ll just go grab my dinner and head home.”

  Rafe, never the best at finesse, blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “Sophie, when was the last time you got your period?”

  “WHAT? How the hell is that any of your business?”

  “It’s just, you smelled the fish and then you threw up, and it’s been four weeks, and Google says that four weeks is a feasible length of time. So I was thinking, that maybe if you haven’t gotten your period, it could be possible...you could be…” Rafe took a deep breath. His mind was a mess.

  Pregnant? She can’t be pregnant. It just isn’t possible. She wouldn’t even go on a date with me, and now she could be having my kid?

  He didn’t know what to say anymore. Pushing his plate aside, he rested his forehead on the table with a thunk.

  Carlos apologized and explained that they had paid for her food. He heard Sophie say goodbye, her footsteps echoing on the tile as she left the restaurant. Rafe was still trying to get his breathing under control when he felt Carlos poke him with a fork.

  “Hey bestie, you alive over there?”

  Rafe grunted, lifting his head a few inches and thunking it back down onto the table.

  “You need to talk to her, find a way to get her to take a test. If she’s pregnant, you’ll have to figure some shit out.”

  Rafe lifted his head. He could feel his mouth gaping but was unable to push out any words. Carlos signaled for the check and pulled out his wallet.

  “I guess this one can be on me. You have a college tuition to save up for now, buddy.”

  Rafe felt a strangled sound leave his throat before his forehead hit the table again.

  “First Response, EPT, Clearblue—how the fuck are you supposed to pick one?” Carlos asked Rafe, picking up each box in turn and examining it before returning it to the shelf. “There should just be one test. I bet I could make a fortune marketing a pregnancy test for men to buy. I can see it now: the girl pees on the stick and the little box says ‘Fucked’ or ‘Not Fucked.’ ‘Not Fucked,’ of course, meaning not pregnant.”

  Rafe heaved a sigh and rubbed his hand along the back of his neck. He lifted his basket to the shelf and, one by one, tipped the three major pregnancy test brands into it. He was turning to leave the aisle when Carlos added something to the basket.

  “A twenty-four pack of condoms, Carlos? Really? Now is not the time to be funny.”

  “Whoa, who said anything about being funny? Consider them a present from you to me for helping out with this shit. I’m the one who called the captain and explained the situation. He didn’t chew your ass out for asking for the rest of the night off; he chewed out mine. Besides, I need as many of those damn things as I can get now. I’ll be double wrapping for months. No way I’m getting myself into a mess like this.”

  “Really,” Rafe said drily. “You aren’t joking? Then why’d you get Magnums, dude? I highly doubt you’re packing that much heat.”

  “Ohhh you wanna compare? Have a little sword fight in the aisle of the drugstore? I’ll show you mine if you show me yours, Officer.”

  Despite his situation, Rafe laughed, slapping his friend on the arm as he walked toward the front of the store. “Alright, Casanova, calm down. Let’s get the hell out of here.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Sophie had finished her dinner and was watching The Greatest Showman on the couch when she heard Kelsey come in through the front door.

  “Hey roomie, I’m home!” Kelsey shouted, walking into the living room and plopping down next to her. “Whoa, are you watching our movie without me? You bitch! I thought we were friends!”

  Sophie paused the movie and shrugged. “It’s not my fault your ass took forever eating dinner with the family.”

  Kelsey huffed and pushed up off the couch. “Well, James zonked out at my parents’ house so he’s gonna stay there tonight. I’ll pick him up in the morning. In the meantime, how about we open a bottle of wine and celebrate Zac Efron, the finest ass in show business.”

  Sophie laughed, starting the movie back up as Kelsey walked into the kitchen to grab a bottle and a couple glasses. Hugh Jackman was just about to proposition Zac Efron when she heard a knock at the door. She paused the movie again and went to see who was disrupting her movie night. Looking through the peephole, she took in Rafe’s nervous face. He looked like he was about to have a damn panic attack.

  She threw open the door and Rafe brushed past her, holding a drugstore bag, a smirking Carlos in tow. “Sophie, we need to talk,” he started, pacing in the entry of her house.

  “Sure,” she mumbled. “Come right in.”

  Carlos whistled. “Nice digs you got here, shortcake. I meant to tell you before, but I was a little…distracted.”

  “Um, thanks, Carlos. Rafe, what the hell is going on?”

  Rafe took a deep breath, pushed it back out, and ran his fingers through his hair before shoving his hands in his pockets.

  “You’re pregnant,” he muttered, looking up and meeting her eyes.

  “Umm, no?”

  “You are, though!” he exclaimed. “Carlos said that his sister used to throw up when she smelled fish, and morning sickness can start as early as four weeks into a pregnancy, and we had sex almost exactly four weeks ago. Are your breasts bigger? I think they look a little bigger too. Isn’t that a sign of pregnancy?”

  Rafe went back to furiously pacing, running his fingers through his hair again, the drugstore bag forgotten at his feet.

  “Rafe, I’m not pregnant. We used a condom. I’ve just been feeling queasy all day. I’m sure it’s nothing. I have a sensitive stomach, that’s all.”

  Carlos, who had been looking through the assorted items on the small table in the entryway, plucked the bag up off the floor and handed it to her.

  “Well, we got you these. Just, you know, to be sure.”

  She looked in the bag and pulled out the first item she saw. “Condoms? A twenty-four pack of Magnum condoms? Why do I need these?”

  Carlos grinned sheepishly, snatching the condoms out of her hand and trying, unsuccessfully, to hide them in his pocket. “Sorry, those are mine.”

  “Magnums, huh? Damn, good for Kelsey.” She peered into the bag, seeing an assortment of pregnancy tests.

  “So you want me to take these, Rafe? Will that make you feel better?”

  Rafe simply nodded, still pacing furiously and looking at the floor. Kelsey walked into the entry, holding two glasses of wine and wearing a very confused expression. She handed one glass to Sophie and took a big sip before addressing the room.

  “Somebody wanna tell me why pretty boy over here looks like he’s about to ralph all over the carpet?”

  Sophie scoffed. “Rafe is under the impression I’m pregnant.” She lifted the wine glass to her lips and managed one tiny sip before Rafe snatched it out of her hands.

  “Are you fucking crazy? You can’t drink if you’re pregnant!” He looked at the glass for a moment and downed it in three quick gulps. He then reached over, took Kelsey’s glass
out of her hands, and downed it too. “No wine until I see the test results,” he grumbled.

  “Hey jackass! I’m not the pregnant one! Why the hell did you have to take my wine?”

  Rafe shrugged. “I needed it more than you did.”

  Kelsey stomped off toward the kitchen with her now-empty glass, presumably in search of more wine. Carlos looked between Rafe and Sophie before shrugging and following her.

  “Fine, I’ll take a damn test. Just give me a minute, okay?”

  Sophie walked through the living room to her bedroom. She padded into the en-suite bathroom, Rafe following her every step of the way.

  “Do you think I’m going to let you watch me pee?” she asked rhetorically, shooing Rafe out of the bathroom and closing the door in his face. She took a deep breath and pulled out the first box in the bag. Opening the box, she unwrapped a pregnancy test and squatted uncomfortably over the toilet to do her business.

  “This would’ve been a lot easier to do with some wine in my system, ya know!” she shouted at the door.

  She peed on the stick and set it on the counter. The box said she would know in three minutes, so she set a timer on her phone and calmly waited for the results. She knew the test would be negative; she’d gotten her period a couple of weeks ago, hadn’t she? She looked at the unopened box of tampons sitting on her counter. Counting back on her hands, she did some fast period math and realized that she hadn’t had her period since before she and Rafe had had sex. She was almost two weeks late.

  She had just begun to panic when the timer went off on her phone, alerting her to the end of the three minutes. Sophie took a steadying breath and looked down at the test. The small word was light in color but clearly visible: POSITIVE.

  “SHIT!”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Rafe heard Sophie’s exclamation through the door and immediately stopped pacing, sinking to the floor. He put his head in his hands and tried to hold the panic at bay. He’d always wanted to be a father, but it was too soon. When he’d imagined this moment home alone in bed, he’d always thought he’d be in that bathroom with her. He and his imaginary wife would see the positive sign on the pregnancy test and he’d wrap her in a huge hug. He’d always known he would cry the day he found out he was going to be a father, but he never thought it would be alone on a bedroom floor while his one-night stand took a test in the next room.

  He was positive he’d make a great dad; he was already half in love with the tiny peanut growing in Sophie’s uterus. What kind of life could he have with his child, though? He’d never imagined a joint-custody situation. He wanted to wake up every morning knowing that his child was asleep in the next room. Sophie wouldn’t even consider dating him, much less living in the same house as him.

  He heard the bathroom door open quietly and felt more than saw Sophie sit down on the floor next to him. He looked up at her and saw that she was staring at the test clutched in her hands. Reaching over, he plucked it from her fingers, his hand shaking as he pulled it toward him. The word positive was clear on the small piece of plastic.

  In that moment, he couldn’t hold back the smile that broke over his face. He was going to be a father. Sure, the situation wasn’t ideal, but he was so excited to hold his child in his arms. He hadn’t had a real childhood, bouncing from foster home to foster home until the age of eighteen. He would give this child everything. His baby had just become the center of his universe, and there was no going back.

  He was broken from his thoughts by Sophie’s voice. “Rafe, what the hell are we going to do?”

  Rafe looked up at her, confused. “What option do we have? We’re going to have this baby, and we’re going to raise it.”

  Sophie’s face fell. “I’m not ready to be a mom yet. We don’t even like each other. How could we possibly raise a child together?”

  Rafe wrapped an arm around her, pulling her into his side. “We’ll figure it out as we go. Plus, we have nine months to plan. Who knows, maybe you’ll stop hating me in that time.”

  Sophie laughed. “Maybe if you’d stop being a high-handed ass, I’d stop hating you.”

  “I hate to break it to you, but high-handed is the only packaging this toy comes in.”

  Rafe stood, offering Sophie his hands and pulling her up with him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in for a hug. He leaned his forehead against hers and took a deep breath. “We can do this, Soph. I know we can.”

  She pulled back, looking into his eyes as though trying to gauge the sincerity in his words. “What makes you so certain? The only thing I know for sure is that I have no idea how to be a parent.” She pulled out of his arms and looked up at him.

  “I know this is huge, Sophie. Trust me, I know that. I also know that I’ve wanted this my entire life. I want this child with every part of my being. I have no fucking clue how to raise a kid, but do you really think that anyone does? The best thing that we can do is prepare and love our baby with everything that we have.”

  Though she wasn’t nearly as confident as he was, Sophie nodded.

  Everything worth having in life is at least a little terrifying, right?

  “I can’t say that I don’t still have my doubts, Rafe. This is not how I expected for things to go. There is no guarantee that I won’t freak out a few times over the next few months, but knowing that I’m not in this alone makes my choice a little easier.”

  Rafe pulled Sophie back to him and kissed her on the forehead. “No,” he murmured softly against her skin. “You’re definitely not alone.”

  Leaving the comfort of her bedroom Sophie pulled Rafe into the living room, where Carlos and Kelsey had resumed The Greatest Showman.

  “Okay, so this dude is PT Barnum? Why is he singing? I’m pretty sure Barnum didn’t sing in real life.”

  Kelsey let out an exasperated groan. “Just watch the fucking movie, Carlos.”

  Sophie cleared her throat and the pair of them whipped around to look at her, the movie forgotten. Rafe did his best to keep his expression as ambiguous as possible. He wasn’t sure Sophie was ready to tell their friends yet, so he decided to let her take the lead.

  Carlos, ever the impatient member of their group was the first to speak. “Well? What did the test say?”

  Sophie took a calming breath, reaching for Rafe’s hand. “It was positive,” she said quietly.

  Carlos immediately jumped off the couch, whooping loudly. “We’re going to have a baby!” He grabbed Rafe, wrapping him in a massive hug. Sophie had released his hand and was speaking to Kelsey in quiet tones on the couch. He cleared his throat when Carlos’s hug passed the thirty-second mark.

  “Alright, man. You can let go now.”

  Carlos grunted and released Rafe with an awkward pat on the back. “I mean, congratulations, man,” he said, deepening his voice. “I need a beer and a stogie; this shit is too emotional for my tastes.”

  Sophie looked up from her conversation with Kelsey. “I think I need to get some rest. Rafe, I’ll schedule a doctor’s appointment and text you the time and place.”

  Rafe rubbed his chin, a little uncomfortable. “I guess I should get your number now, huh?”

  At this, Carlos burst out laughing. He doubled over, cackling gleefully. When he finally managed to compose himself, he straightened and wiped imaginary tears from his eyes. “Oh man, you got her pregnant and don’t even have her phone number. Pretty boy, that is fucking priceless.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Before Sophie went to bed that night, she texted her boss and took a personal day. If she was going to do this, she needed to go to a doctor. Kelsey had told her she’d need to cut caffeine out of her diet completely and go on prenatal vitamins. Was she really considering doing this? She hadn’t really given much thought to being a parent; she’d always kind of assumed that she would eventually meet the right guy, fall in love, and start a family. Until now, that future had been entirely theoretical. It had always been something that would happen eventually, o
nce her career was established, once she’d left the Houston Reporter and had begun working for a publishing house.

  There was so much to think about if she was going to proceed with this pregnancy. She was close to getting a recommendation letter from her boss; she could feel it. What impact would this baby have on her possible career? Rafe’s job was in Houston, and she was planning to move to New York sometime within the next year. Considering how excited he was to be a father, could she really take this child away from him?

  Sophie was hit with a sudden wave of resentment, not for the fetus growing within her, but for the situation she found herself in. She couldn’t stay in Houston; it had never been a part of her plan. Sophie had never been the type of woman to throw her dreams away for a man, and she couldn’t start now. This baby was like a chain, shackling her to Rafe and to this city she was so ready to leave. Even as she had the thought, she hated herself for it, and just like that the doubt crept in.

  What if I’m too selfish to be a parent?

  Though she was terrified, she knew that abortion wasn’t an option for her. Sophie had always been of the belief that a woman could do with her body what she wished. Though she understood why other women had abortions, and would never begrudge them their choice, she knew that she would never be able to go through with the procedure herself. From the moment she’d seen the positive test result, she’d felt a connection to the child growing inside of her. Under the comforter, she moved her hand down to her stomach. She wouldn’t start to show for a few more months, but something had changed in her. She could feel her baby there, and she already loved it. She fell asleep that night with tears on her cheeks and her hand on her stomach.

  She woke up in the morning to the chime of a text notification. Sophie rolled over and grabbed her phone off of the nightstand, rubbing her bleary eyes to clear her vision. It was only seven-thirteen, but she already had a text from a clearly excited Rafe.