The eight of us got to The Venue around nine, which was pretty early by going out standards. We wanted to stake our claim on a couple of tables before the thickest of the crowd showed up.
A little while after we arrived, my phone buzzed. “Ethan!?”
“Hey babe, where are you?” he asked.
“I’m at The Venue with my friends.”
“Oh, okay just call me in the morning.”
“No! I’ll step outside. You’re way more important than the next song. Or at least I think you are right?”
“Maybe, I’ll let you decide.”
“Give me one second.” I stepped out the front door to the sidewalk. “Okay, I can talk now,” I said to him.
“Good. We don’t have to talk for long, I just wanted to say I love you and good night.”
“I love you too. I miss you. You sure are going to bed early.”
“Well, I called this early thinking I’d reach you before you went out with your friends, guess I was wrong. I’ll be up a little while longer.”
“Oh… So do you know when you’ll be able to come down here again?”
“I’m planning it now. I’ll let you know next week sometime.”
“Okay, sounds good.”
“I miss you so much Evi.”
“I miss you too Ethan. Just think, we’ll be home in a few weeks. We’ll be together every day! I can’t wait!”
“I love you babe.”
“I love you too.”
We hung up. I pressed my phone to my chest just under my chin. I was trying to hug it because it was my only connection to him.
“Evi,” a familiar voice behind me called my name softly.
Surprised, I turned, “Clark! Um… how are you? What are you doing downtown this late?”
“My friends and I just had dinner. We’re going back to campus now. I saw you standing out here on your phone and I wanted to say hey, so I told them I’d catch up in a minute.”
We hugged. “It’s really good to see you Clark.”
“You too Evi. Hey, I am not going beat around the bush. Have you even thought about calling me? We haven’t spoken since the day I left for Atlanta back in March. It’s been four weeks.”
I had to tell him. “Clark, I’m seeing someone. It’s pretty serious.”
“You’re seeing someone? Are you kidding me? How could you be serious with someone else after only a few weeks? I thought we were pretty ‘serious’ too. Did our relationship mean absolutely nothing to you?”
Clark was really upset. I looked over my shoulder at Byron. He was waiting to see if I needed help. He knew Clark, so he wasn’t too concerned, but he was watching. I gave him a slight wave so he knew I was fine, just needed privacy.
“Clark, I don’t want to explain myself to you. You just have to trust that our relationship meant everything to me. It did! What we had was real, but now, it’s over. I’m really happy with this guy. He really loves me and, and… I don’t know what else to say Clark. You have to trust me.”
“He really loves you? He loves you? And, trust you? How on earth could you have moved this fast in four weeks Evi?”
Ugh, this was not happening. His question was valid. He deserved to know the truth. The truth may be more painful than not knowing though. Sometimes, maybe we don’t need to know everything. If Clark knew how long I’d been in love with Ethan, he’d think our time together was meaningless. I didn’t want him to think that I didn’t truly love him, but I just couldn’t tell him about Ethan yet.
“Clark, I’m not going to try to work through this with you right now. I’m going to go back inside with my friends. I hate seeing you like this. Please, don’t make me continue this conversation, it is crushing me.”
Clark raised his voice, “Fine, you can go, but you don’t know what being crushed feels like Evi. You’ve never been serious about anyone. I meant it when I told you I loved you!” He whispered looking down, “You said you loved me too.” He paused, then said sadly, “You have no idea how this feels.”
I replied calmly, “You’re wrong. I have been hurt, and I do know how you feel. And now Clark, standing here with you, this doesn’t feel good either.” I touched his arm lightly, “You’re going to be okay Clark. I’ll see you later. I’m going back inside.”
I wanted to hug him and tell him that everything was going to be okay. I wanted to tell him that he was important to me, that I did care about him, that I did love him. But instead, I looked quickly into his eyes, then turned and went back into the bar. Byron took my hand gently as I walked through the door. He could read our body language because he knew our story better than anyone in the world. He knew we were both hurting.
Clark looked at me through the glass, then walked away. As he went around the corner, someone had been standing there listening.
“Hey! Ethan right?”
Ethan replied, “Yeah. Clark? Um, nice uniform Clark.”
“Oh, thanks. I’m a first year cadet at the Citadel.”
“A plebe?” Ethan asked.
“No, we’re called knobs. How do you know about plebes?”
“I’m a third year cadet at West Point.”
“Wow! That’s great to know. So, did you hear that conversation?”
Not wanting to admit it, reluctantly Ethan said, “Yeah, I did. Sorry man. I just couldn’t interrupt. That would have been even more awkward than this. Soooo...”
“So, apparently my ex-girlfriend is happy with someone else. It doesn’t even make sense. Who the heck could she be seeing after only four weeks? She didn’t waste any time. God, I’m an idiot. I thought she cared about me and just needed ‘space’ or something stupid like that. I’m such an idiot.”
Hearing the word ‘ex-girlfriend’ made Ethan cringe a bit, but he stayed focused and non-reactive. “Clark, you’re not an idiot. Was what you two had real?”
“It was. I’m sure of it. But how could she meet someone else so quickly?”
“Was she honest with you the whole time you dated?”
Clark shrugged while looking down, “As far as I know.”
“She said to trust her. Maybe there is a reasonable explanation that she’s not ready to give. Maybe, I don’t know, maybe she was already hung up on this other guy. Regardless, I think in order to keep from going insane, you’re going to need to believe that she cared about you and never cheated on you. You need to believe her. Weird things happen all the time. You’ll be okay, and you’ll find someone else. I’m sorry ‘bout all this, but I have to go. Good luck to you Clark, and good luck finishing up your first year. Stay strong!”
Ethan shook Clark’s hand and walked around the corner to The Venue. I was still standing in the front room, but my back was to the door.
Byron carded him and yelled over the noise, “Oh, an Idaho boy and a soldier. Welcome my friend.”
“Thanks man. Hey, by any chance do you know a girl named Evi?”
“Yeah! You’re here for Evi? She’s great!”
“Thanks, she is great. I am here for her. Do you know where she is?”
“Yep, she’s standing right on the other side of that group of people there.” Byron pointed toward my direction.
“Thank you sir,” Ethan offered as he shook Byron’s hand.
Ethan worked his way through the crowd and grabbed me from behind. He spun me around fast and forcefully, then kissed me. He about scared me to death! It all happened so quickly, I hardly had a split second to even see who had ahold of me. When I pulled back to focus, I saw him, this man I love so much. I was so happy to see him. I held back tears. I was already emotional over seeing how hurt Clark was, but to have this surprise holding onto me, I almost couldn’t control myself. I was hoping he was thinking I was more surprised, than feeling upset about something.
“Let’s get out of here now Ethan?” I yelled.
“No, not yet. Let’s have a little fun together first.”
“Okay! I’m staying with you tonight right?”
“You
better be. I didn’t come all this way for the weekend to admire the scenery. Well, only your scenery!” He stepped back and looked me up and down like I was dessert. “Evi! I can see straight through your shirt!” he yelled.
“I know! That’s why I bought it. Isn’t it great? I love this shirt!” I sassed back laughing out loud.
“Evi! I can… Evi, everyone can see your bra!”
“I know. It’s a cute one too!”
Though not angry, Ethan gaped.
“Relax!”
“Alright Evi. Keep your shirt on… or don’t. It won’t really make a difference.” We both laughed, and he hugged me again.
Making our way through the crowd, I introduced Ethan to everyone I knew. We danced for a couple of hours, then left.
“Night Byron,” I said as I hugged him on my way out the door.
He whispered in my ear, “Clark came back and saw you with your new man. Just letting you know.”
At first, my eyes shown my concern. Then, I smiled and said, “Thanks Byron.”
“Also, Clark and your new man had a few words outside. I don’t know how honest you’ve been with everyone, but you may want to start making sure things don’t go crazy on you. Just watching your back Evi.”
I whispered near his ear, “Thank you. Thank you so much. I think I’m okay. I’ll talk to Ethan for sure. I have nothing to hide.”
“What was that all about Evi?” Ethan clearly had noticed our lengthy exchange.
“Can I tell you when we get back to the room? I promise I will. It’ll give us something to talk about.”
“Well, I wasn’t planning on talking when we got back to the room, but okay.”
“Oh, it can wait babe, it can wait!” I said laughing and holding onto him like he was my very life. Our fingers locked, and I clenched his arm tightly with my other hand. I kept my head on his shoulder for most of the walk to the hotel.
The instant we got into the room and the door closed behind us, Ethan grabbed me. He put one hand behind my head and the other around my back. He lifted me up off of the floor, and I wrapped my arms and legs around him. I hooked my feet, squeezed him toward me and held onto him with every bit of strength I had. He lowered me onto the bed then pulled my boots off one at a time. Next, he slowly pulled my shirt up over my head. I let him. He looked at me to make sure I was okay and he sarcastically said, “It’s not like you really needed that on anyway.”
I laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe for a minute.
Stealing back the romantic moment, he took off his own shirt. I smiled, and to let him know that I wanted him, I pulled on his belt buckle and shorts.
“Are you sure you don’t want to just talk?” I asked in a flirty voice.
“Uh, yeah! Very sure,” he replied nodding with his eyes widened.
I scooted backward to rest my head on a pillow, and I held onto it with both hands. My knees were bent, my feet were together. Ethan slowly crawled to me, raised up and placed his hands on my knees. I looked at him waiting to see what he was going to do. He pulled them apart, so I slid my feet to match the position.
Ethan moved his body right up against mine. Both of his hands slid very gently down my inner thighs to my shorts. I got light headed. Looking into my eyes the whole time, he unbuttoned them. Then, he unzipped them. He stayed focused, being certain he had an invitation, as he pulled them open. His attention moved lower causing me to inhale a deep breath. Resting in his touch, I wan’t sure what I should do.
“Close your eyes if you want babe,” he whispered.
I did.
Ethan placed a hand on my abdomen and caressed with his fingertips. Slowly, he slid it up my body exploring each curve. He positioned himself over me. I opened my eyes as he lowered himself, then pressed his hips into me. I gripped his waist and pulled.
“You are never getting away from me Ethan.”
“Don’t worry babe, I don’t ever want to get away from you.”
He kissed me so deeply and passionately, I could have floated to the stars. His hands and lips never left my body. I wanted him, all of him so badly… but… he hadn’t asked yet.
Chapter 15
We exhausted all of our energy being twisted around each other. Looking back, I can’t believe how quickly I seemed to grow up in just matter of weeks with Ethan. I think because he was twenty-one, had almost finished his third year of college and had been through so much military training, he seemed a lot more mature than most guys his age. I guess I was just maturing faster all of sudden to catch up to him.
I loved having him touch me. I loved having him on me. I needed him within reach at all times when we were together. Regardless of how much I wanted him though, we still had only kissed. After all, technically, we had only been on three dates. Well sort of, we’d spent three weekends together. I’m not sure how long couples usually wait before they decide to be completely physical, but at the time, I knew I was still planning on waiting until we both agreed that we were heading towards marriage.
Ethan never tried to push me to go any further than I was comfortable. He knew when to stop, even though I sometimes wasn’t sure I wanted him to stop. In hindsight, I have to be honest, I probably would have given him all of me the very first weekend we were together if he had persisted.
Dear God, I loved him!
Since we both felt sweaty from the dance club and our time together, we decided to shower. He said I could go first. Just before I stepped into the shower, it occurred to me that I didn’t have a change of clothes. That visit had been a surprise, so I hadn’t packed any clothes.
“Ugh! Ethan!” I yelled frustrated as I grabbed a towel.
Thinking something was wrong, he ran to the door and opened it without knocking. “What?!” he asked with urgency.
Frustrated, I whined, “I don’t have anything to wear. All of my clothes are in my room.”
He laughed out loud like I had said something hilarious. “Geez Evi, that’s not a crisis! I guess you’ll just have to wear nothing then won’t you?”
“Ethan! Seriously. I don’t want to put my dirty clothes back on. That’s gross. They’re all sweaty.”
“Well, what the heck do you want me to do?”
“Did you rent a car this weekend, or did you take a cab?”
“I took a cab.”
“I don’t even have a way to get to my dorm to get clean clothes then. I rode downtown with my friends, then walked here with you. My car is back on campus in the garage. Will you fix this please?”
“Well, do you want to shower?”
“No, not yet. I’ll wait.”
I came out of the bathroom with just the towel covering me. Ethan took the opportunity to flirt, tease, laugh, and put his hands on me. I was frustrated and tired, but of course I didn’t mind at all.
“Look at me Ethan. I’m a mess.”
“Where else do you think I would look? My girlfriend, the one love of my life is standing in front me wearing nothing but a towel. Seriously! Where else would I be looking? Ya know, if you were here with anyone else Evi, you’d be in a heap of trouble!”
“Ethan!”
“As a matter of fact…” he said slyly.
He took the opportunity to kiss me and carry me back to the bed. Again, I was not bothered. I trusted him completely. I was smiling and giggling with him.
After kissing for a few more minutes with nothing but a towel between us this time, I asked, “Did you figure this out yet?”
“Figure what out Everclear? I have a lot of things figured out here.”
“I want a change of clothes!”
I laughed at him again, and pushed him off of me. I said, “We will get to this,” and I pointed to the bed “very soon, I promise, but I’m tired right now, and we didn’t think through this very carefully tonight.”
“We’re not fighting battles or creating complicated war strategies Evi. We just need a ride to your dorm. We’ll call a cab babe. Now stop whining, put your sweaty clothes back on, and le
t’s go. Oh! Wait. Here put this shirt on. You can get rid of that other one, or just wear it around me.” Ethan tossed me one of his t-shirts.
“Aw, thanks sweetie.” I smiled, glared and put my shirt back on.
He shook his head at me.
I guess he was right. The situation wasn’t complicated, it was just inconvenient. The concierge at the front desk called a cab for us. It arrived quickly and drove us to my dorm. Once there, Ethan had to wait in the lobby since I couldn’t have anyone of the opposite sex in my room or on my hall after eleven p.m. How strange that rule seemed to me in those moments. I had just been in a hotel room, naked, with the man I planned on marrying and he was not allowed in my room. Strange.
Piper was still out. I didn’t need to leave her a note. She had met Ethan at the bar, so she knew where I’d be. I packed a bag and left.
Ethan drove my car back to our hotel. We shuffled to our room. I showered first and was deep asleep before he came to bed. I didn’t even feel the bed move when he got in.
Ethan runs on very little sleep, and he knows exactly what kind of coffee I always want, so he got up early and took care of the coffee run for us both. Not one minute was going to be wasted. As soon as he got back to the room, he woke me up.
“Here’s your coffee Ev. Wake up.”
I shifted and squinted at him.
He was all energy. “Hey! Let’s drive out to the beach today. Do you know the way or which beach is best?” he asked.
I took my cup from him and with a scratchy voice, I replied, “Yeah… I do,”
“I heard Folly Beach is close and a good place to check out.”
Still groggy, but getting better with my coffee in hand, I said, “Um, yeah… I’d rather take you to a different beach though.”
I looked at the lid to my cup afraid to make eye contact until I processed his intentions. As soon as he said Folly Beach, I knew I needed to tell him about Clark. I wondered if he was asking because in their brief meeting on the sidewalk, Clark had mentioned our weekend together. It was strange to know he knew about Clark, but he wasn’t asking. Ethan didn’t really seem to want to know. How the heck did those two happen to meet the night before? I felt like he should at least hear my side of the story of us dating for those few weeks. I was trying to keep my hands from shaking.
Just for Now Page 12
