Kicked the Bucket

by CeeCee James

  The officer was walking toward the barn. Another cop had Harry on his feet, his arms handcuffed behind his back.

  It was over.

  The relief flushed through me and made my head feel woozy. I fell into the side of the barn and slowly lowered Jasper to the ground. He took off like a rocket toward the cop. I staggered after the dog.

  “I’m safe!” I yelled.

  “Chelsea Lawson?” he called.

  Jasper jumped around the officer and then ran to sniff Harry.

  Someone else was walking down the driveway. It was Freckles. He whistled for Jasper who ran over with joyous barks.

  “How did you know to come?” I asked, confused. Was it Freckles? Had the handyman called them?

  “It was your sister, Nikki. She sent us. She’s explained everything. You okay?”

  After collapsing over and over from emotions, you’d expect I would once again collapse. But I didn’t. And, for the first time my inner voice wasn’t spewing negative words of what I’d done wrong or what I could have done better.

  I’d carried a mountain of guilt for surviving that airplane crash that took all those other peoples’ lives. I always felt like I had to live for them. I needed to accomplish something big to justify my existence. I’d been tricked to allow myself to exist under a web of constant fault-finding.

  Standing there in the yard and watching Freckles scratch Jasper’s neck as the animal wiggled in happiness, I realized I didn’t have to be different. I’d survived. And my dog was safe. I’d been enough just by being me. And, it turned out, that was good enough.

  The cop led Harry to the police car. Harry turned abruptly and he caught my eye. His were silver and flinty… if looks could kill I’d be dead.

  I waved. We both knew who won.

  Chapter 24

  Several days had passed and Tilly was home now. So was Emma. Life was settling back into some semblance of normal. I still had to respond to a sweet text that AJ had sent, asking how I was holding up. I hadn’t answered yet because I didn’t know how to put it into words, and I liked him enough to not want to brush his question off with a trite answer. I think he understood.

  I sat on the porch steps and looked out onto the field, pink-crested in the watercolor light of the setting sun. Rosy flipped her tail at the cloud of flies that had blossomed in the early summer heat. She chewed her cud, eyes half-closed while the goats grazed around her.

  In the distance, the pond glistened in the last rays of the sun like it was covered in crystals . It had turned back into a thing of beauty, but I couldn’t forget how deadly it had recently been. I’d wandered down there yesterday, trying to reclaim the charm that I’d once enjoyed. Spotting a left-over white evidence flag made me rush back to the house. I worried I wouldn’t ever feel truly comfortable there again.

  Tilly had disappeared in the barn. It had been quite traumatic for her to learn how close it had come to being burned down. Of course, her fear was in losing me, but there was something else there. The barn represented stability to her. Family. I think knowing it was almost lost by fire really rocked her. From her first moment home she’d been out there, hauling the bales of hay away from the walls and checking every last inch. Right now she was with Freckles as they repaired the doors. She’d already ordered wood to make a lean-to. She insisted that, from now on, we would never store the straw or alfalfa hay anywhere near the barn, and she was researching into somehow installing a fire sprinkler system.

  Earlier this evening Emma had helped me make dinner while her mom was working on the barn. I’d missed that little girl. She’d sat at the counter, her little heels drumming against the stool rungs and unrolled dough from a tube of biscuits. After giving each one a pat, she’d handed it back to me to be placed on a cookie sheet.

  “How do you get two moms?” she’d asked me out of the blue.

  That had freaked me out. I sure didn’t want Emma to blurt that question to Tilly out over dinner. I’d swallowed, my mouth dry, and tried to think of how to respond to the little girl. “What makes you ask that, Emma?”

  She’d shrugged, her little feet swinging. “My dad says that one day I might get a second mom.”

  Funny how fear comes in many forms. I wasn’t prepared to answer that, so I brushed it off with a, “No matter what you will be so loved.” And then I dished her up a bowl of spaghetti and ran like the chicken I was to let Tilly deal with it later.

  I looked at her now, thinking she must be exhausted with how hard she was working. But I left my friend alone. She’d talk to me later when she was ready. I knew we all had to deal with trauma in our own way.

  I know I was still dealing with the rippled aftereffects of my day in the barn myself. I’d talked with Nikki a few more times, including a conversation one night that lasted until three in the morning. Not only had she saved my life by calling the police when she’d heard that Harry was in my room, but she was turning into a real friend. Even Jasper was different. Instead of being afraid of the ladder, he stood at the bottom and barked, wanting Freckles to haul him up. We had to make the poor man a sling to carry the dog securely, but he assured us he enjoyed the company.

  Slowly, I stood and stretched and then went into the house. I walked into the kitchen where I finished cleaning up from dinner and wrapped up Tilly’s meal to put in the fridge. I noticed the ice cream container was out and shook my head. Emma must have helped herself.

  As I wiped the ice cream drops from the counter I noted how weird it was not to have all the piglet and baby goat paraphernalia we’d kept there for ages. Things like dosing bottles and medicine. The piglets had been fun but they’d also been a lot of work. Now that they were gone, Tilly had mentioned getting chickens. They’d pay for themselves with eggs, she’d insisted.

  Truth be told, I didn’t even like eggs, and the thought of eating them fresh from the chicken freaked me out. I was more of a waffle girl. The kind you put in the toaster.

  I finished the kitchen and grabbed myself a soda. I opened it and took a sip, before noticing the house was suspiciously silent. Quietness sounded different to me now, disconcerting. I didn’t like it anymore. In fact, I’d been leaving my radio on in my bedroom on a low volume.

  I walked upstairs, pausing first outside Emma’s room. What was she doing and why was she so quiet? Was she in there, plotting new ways to overcome the world?

  Biting my lip, I twisted the doorknob slowly and pushed it open. It squeaked at the halfway mark. I held my breath. Listened.

  Nothing.

  I stepped into the little girl’s room which was brightly lit by the overhead light. Toys scattered across the floor like a toy factory had blown up. A lump huddled under a mound of blankets on the bed.

  Had she really gone to sleep that fast? I tiptoed over to the bed. Her face was partially hidden by a swatch of sweaty hair. I brushed it back gently so as not to wake her. Sitting next to her on the bed was a bowl of what had once been ice cream. She must have been really tired, to have fallen asleep with a dessert there.

  Carefully, I grabbed the bowl. The spoon made a tinking sound against the glass as it slid from the movement.

  Emma mumbled at the sound. The blanket moved, and I saw she was loosely clutching a teddy bear that had nearly fallen out of the bed. I tucked the bear under her arm and pulled the blanket up a bit. Satisfied she was safe, I picked up the bowl and tiptoed out of the room, pulling the door nearly closed as I left.

  Once in my room, I took another swig of my soda and checked my phone. There was a text from Nikki.—You around?

  I texted back that I was, and she asked if she could call. Of course, I said okay. I settled back on my pillows and waited for the phone to ring.

  It did, and I answered, “Hey, Nikki. How are you?”

  “Hi, Chelz.” It had only taken her one time of hearing Tilly call me that nickname when she’d claimed it as well. “Today was another day with the police.”

  “Oh, yeah? How was that?”

  “Horribl
e. I’m tired of reliving it all. But I guess that’s the way it will be until his trial is over. I had to go over the domestic abuse Harry had done to me. And how Corey had tried to help by hiding me for a few weeks, but Harry found out. So Corey convinced me to go to your place to get away. And then… that terrible morning.” She sighed.

  “I’m sorry. I get it, though.” Her words caused a flashback of all the police and news interviews I had to give years ago. “It will be over soon.”

  “Harry was so convinced you had me sheltered someplace. He even moved out here to spy on you more, hoping you’d lead him to me.”

  “I forgot to ask you about the flowers? I found them everywhere.”

  She groaned. “Those stupid chrysanthemums. We’d gone to a nursery on one of our first dates, and I’d fallen in love with the spoon-shaped breed. He’d laughed and told me his grandfather’s coffin had been covered with them. I should have known to get away from him then. Anyway, he was letting me know he was still around.” She groaned again. “I’m so tired. I think tonight is a bath and wine night.”

  “You still staying with William?”

  “Yeah. Until I get back on my feet.”

  “Did he figure out the work situation?”

  “He did. Luckily for him, harboring your daughter from a murderer falls under their list of excusable absences.” She tried to joke but it was too soon. “What are you doing tonight?”

  “Well, probably cleaning my room. My mom is supposed to come over tomorrow, and we’re going out for lunch.”

  “Aww that sounds nice. How’s she doing, anyway?”

  “Great. Out living her adventurous life.”

  “Really?” She let out a deep breath. “Have you two always gotten along?”

  “When I was little, my mom was the queen of the fairy world. She made me tea parties, and told me of all the amazing places I could visit one day. That I had the power to be whoever I wanted to be.”

  “And then?”

  “Then I grew up. She became afraid. The older I grew the more afraid she became.”

  “How is she now?”

  “We’re good. It was like she had more birth pains when I became an adult. She still worries, but she trusts me now.” I half-heartedly laughed. “In some ways, with all of her traveling, the situation is starting to reverse.”

  Her voice was quiet over the phone. “I’m a tiny bit jealous you had a mom. I never knew mine.”

  I could say the same, but I’d leave that for another day. “She really is amazing. She said she’d like to meet you.”

  “Seriously? I’d really like that.”

  “She would, too. She has a big heart, and I think she’s already half-adopted you. She keeps asking how you’re doing.”

  Nikki chuckled. “That sounds good. It might help me with this process of getting back on my feet and rebuilding my life.”

  Her words hit me in a poignant way. Off the cuff, I asked, “You feel like going on a road trip?”

  “What?”

  “I’m serious. I have a bucket list of places in Florida I want to visit. Want to come with me? Take a little road trip.” I smiled, getting excited.

  “Well, there is a barbecue place I saw on the food channel. I always wanted to check that out.”

  “I like barbecue. Just don’t ask me to go to a nursery.”

  “No. Not any time soon at least,” she promised.

  This time we laughed, and it was okay and natural. I realized that we would heal. That the scar would be there, but it would be stronger. Scars weren’t a scary thing. Like the soldering in a stained glass window, they held the beautiful pieces secure. We chatted a tiny bit more and then soon hung up. I smiled as I leaned back against the pillow.

  Sisters.

  Chapter 25

  Thank you for reading Kicked the Bucket. Chelsea is one of my favorite characters.

  Another one is Stella Lawson. The Last Resort is available now. You can read the Mind your Manors series free with Kindle Unlimited, and the first 2 books are at a special discounted price.