Falling Again in El Salvador

by Julie Danvers

  And she’d wanted the kiss every bit as much as he did.

  But they still had to work together. How would things go once they got back to camp, resumed their daily lives? A kiss by a waterfall made for a pleasant moment, but ultimately, he and Cassie might not be looking for the same things. He’d been down that road with her before, and he didn’t want to make the same mistake again. He wanted someone who was serious.

  The trouble was, he also wanted someone who kissed him the way Cassie had kissed him just a moment ago. Completely, wholeheartedly, without holding back.

  No, he didn’t want someone who kissed him that way. He wanted it to be Cassie.

  He’d meant what he had said. He didn’t regret that kiss, not for an instant. But where did it leave the two of them now?

  I’m glad that you took the risk, she’d said. But that didn’t tell him anything about how she wanted to proceed.

  And no matter how they did proceed, there was no way that things could return to the way they had been going at the medical outpost.

  Any semblance they’d had of maintaining a professional relationship was slipping away, and fast. He didn’t think he could return to being just colleagues with her. And he didn’t think that she wanted to take a step back, either.

  Her words reverberated in his head again. I’m glad that you took the risk. So was he. But the kiss had been a single moment, outside of their normal lives at the camp. Once they returned to their usual daily routines and went back to the daily routine of being colleagues, would she still be interested in a relationship? The familiar worry that she only wanted a fling cropped up.

  A kiss was one thing. But neither of them had really talked about what they wanted.

  What Bryce wanted was time. Time to see things unfold, see how they felt about one another. Without putting any pressure on either of them, or on the relationship.

  But they had to return to camp soon. He wished there were some way that they could delay returning, to give themselves more time to see what happened between the two of them, without forcing anything. And to have the chance to find out what she wanted. How she felt. If she wanted a fling, or if she wanted him.

  Or maybe it would be best to simply return to the camp as soon as possible. Maybe they should just see about going back tonight. They were tired, but the moon would be full and bright. He didn’t want to get back to the camp anytime soon, but at least, once they did, he’d have a better idea of where they stood.

  But when they returned to Mrs. Lopez’s, they learned that it would be impossible to return that night.

  Tragedy had struck. They were met by a scowling Mrs. Lopez, three shamefaced teenage boys and a heap of mangled metal that was barely recognizable as a motorcycle.

  Apparently, all three boys had been riding the bike at once and had lost control while heading toward a ravine. No one had been hurt, but the motorcycle was unsalvageable. The boys had collected the rubble from the ravine and placed it on a blanket in the front lawn. Bryce sifted through the mess of pulverized motorcycle parts, trying to find some way to wrap his mind around what had happened.

  Cassie put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay to be upset.”

  “I’m not upset.”

  “No—maybe devastated would be a more apt description. Come on, Bryce. It’s obvious how you feel. That bike was your pride and joy.”

  “It’s just a little dented,” he said through gritted teeth.

  “In twenty places. And the front wheel’s bent. And it’s been smashed into multiple pieces.” She nudged the debris with her foot. “I guess you could salvage the engine and try to build a new motorcycle around it, but at that point...wouldn’t it be less expensive to just buy a new bike?”

  He felt his stomach roil at her suggestion, even though he knew that what she said was logical. The bike was beyond repair. But he couldn’t fathom leaving it behind. Over the past few years, the bike had become a part of him. It had been with him on every mission outside the camp. Riding the bike around the countryside had been his main source of freedom and joy outside of work. He felt as though he were leaving a fellow fallen soldier behind in the field.

  “I can’t leave it,” he said. “You can take a bus back to camp if you like, but I’m staying with the bike.” He knew he sounded absurd, but he didn’t care.

  She knelt beside him. “I know it was more than just a bike to you. I know what it represents. You bought it with the money from the engagement ring you sold. I’m sure that whomever that ring was for, she was someone special. But if she was someone who couldn’t see everything you are, all that you have to offer, then she didn’t deserve you. And now that it’s over, you’ve got to let it go...just like you’ve got to let your motorcycle go.”

  The words came out before he could stop them. “I bought the engagement ring for you.” He hadn’t ever meant to say it. The words just slipped out. And there was no unsaying them now. He held his breath, waiting for her reaction.

  Her eyes widened. Her mouth was set, her jaw determined. He’d seen that look on her face before. It showed up when someone tried to tell her that a patient couldn’t be saved or that her treatment plan wouldn’t work.

  “We’ve got to save this bike,” she said. “We’ve got to get it to a shop right now.”

  He shook his head. “No. Cassie, you were right the first time. The bike is done for. The only thing I can do is let it go.”

  “No, you were right. Like you said, it’s just got a few dents here and there. Come on, if we gather the corners of the blanket together, I think we can get all the pieces to a shop.” She began gathering broken motorcycle parts into her arms.

  “Cassie.” He took her hands to stop her from picking up more pieces. Her hands were so delicate and soft. She’d have made a great surgeon, if she’d wanted to be one. “There’s no saving this bike. It’s been with me for years, and now it’s time to say goodbye. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that we can’t keep living in the past. Let’s just focus on what comes next.”

  With much reluctance, she dropped the armful of parts she’d been holding.

  Of all the reactions she could have had to learning that the engagement ring he’d bought had been for her, this was one he’d never imagined. And yet it felt right, somehow. As sad as he was to lose the bike, Cassie’s strong reaction had a calming effect on him. She seemed almost as devastated as he was. He wondered if she might be able to understand just how much the bike meant to him.

  “I’ll arrange for a scrap truck to pick it up tomorrow,” he said to Mrs. Lopez.

  “I’m so sorry,” she said again. “I can’t believe those boys would disobey me. I told them they’ll be grounded for the rest of their lives.”

  “I shouldn’t have left the keys here,” Bryce said. “I should have realized it would be too tempting. The important thing is that no one was hurt.”

  “How will we get back to camp?” Cassie asked.

  “Let’s head to the hotel and start fresh in the morning,” said Bryce. “We’ll probably have to take a chicken bus to get back.”

  “That doesn’t sound quite as glamorous as the way we got here,” said Cassie.

  He managed a small chuckle. “No, a chicken bus is exactly what it sounds like.” They began to walk toward the hotel when Bryce thought of something. “Wait!”

  He ran back toward the heap of rubble on the blanket and began sifting through it.

  “What are you looking for?” asked Cassie.

  “This.” He picked up the bike’s ignition switch and removed the ring that held the copper casing together. “I want to keep something to remember it by.” He pocketed the ignition switch ring and stood up. “I’m ready. Let’s get to our hotel.”

  * * *

  After the harsh conditions of the medical camp, the luxury of the hotel was a little overwhelming for Cassie. They were stay
ing at a cozy bed-and-breakfast in Juayua, away from the bustle of the central streets. The building was secluded among a grove of palm trees, with a perfectly manicured lawn that was striking after so much untamed jungle foliage. Rocking chairs beckoned invitingly from the front porch, and water bubbled merrily from concrete fountains with statues covered in soft moss.

  Cassie was still trying to absorb what she’d learned at the scene of the motorcycle crash. That engagement ring was for me. He bought the ring for me, which means he was going to propose. And then I broke up with him.

  Everything about the past five years could have been different. She’d never known he’d bought a ring. Never even known he’d been thinking about marriage. If he’d asked her, back then, would she have said yes? She couldn’t say, but she saw how a future with him could have been possible. And she saw, for the first time, just how much she’d given up. She’d known, at the time, that she was giving up the most important relationship she’d ever had. But she hadn’t really thought about the future she was giving up, as well.

  An alternative life flashed through her mind. She and Bryce could have been married by now. Maybe even started a family together. She pushed away thoughts of sandy-haired children with Bryce’s warm brown eyes.

  It wasn’t meant to be, she thought. She and Bryce had both had things they needed to learn. Bryce had had to find himself, away from his family’s high expectations, just as she’d needed to learn who she was, away from her family’s overprotectiveness.

  Another thought occurred to her. He bought the bike with money from the ring that he got for me. So it’s like I’ve been with him all this time.

  Bryce had looked so sad as he stared at the wreckage of the bike. Was it because of the motorcycle itself or because of what it represented?

  She only knew that the second she’d heard the ring was meant for her, she’d wanted to save the bike at all costs. But Bryce was right. It was completely pulverized. There was no saving it now.

  If the bike represented their relationship, and now it was completely destroyed, what did that mean for the two of them? She could probably make herself crazy by trying to read something into that.

  She would have done anything to fix the motorcycle, if there had only been hope. But it was too badly damaged. She wondered if it was the same for her and Bryce. Yesterday, she had worried that there’d been so much damage that the two of them could never be anything more than friends. But today, there had been that kiss at the waterfall. She could still hear the roar of the waterfall in her ears, the heat and the feeling of Bryce so close to her again. She could still feel exactly how her body had responded.

  * * *

  The concierge seemed to be taking an awfully long time getting them checked in.

  Cassie marveled at the beauty of the hotel lobby. How did she and Bryce keep finding themselves in such romantic settings? The road full of wildflowers, the waterfall and now this secluded hotel.

  Just watch. The way this day has been going, they’ll probably tell us that there’s only one room available, and then I’ll have to deal with sleeping in the same room as Bryce on top of everything else.

  Finally, the concierge placed a set of keys on the counter. “I’m afraid there are only two rooms available, and they’re quite a way down the hall from one another,” he said.

  “That’s perfect,” Cassie replied, laughing inwardly with relief. It seemed that at least for tonight, she and Bryce would not be sleeping tantalizingly close to one another.

  “In fact, they’re on separate floors,” the concierge continued. “If you’d like, I could try to see if we can ask a guest to move...”

  “Separate floors is fine,” Bryce said hastily, grabbing the keys and giving one to Cassie. “Looks like you’re on one, and I’m on three.” They gave one another an awkward wave goodbye, and Cassie watched as Bryce headed toward the third floor.

  Her room was bright and cozy. She showered, reveling in the seemingly limitless supply of hot water.

  It was almost impossible to get her mind off the ring. Why didn’t he tell me? she thought again, wrapping herself in one towel and using another on her hair.

  Had he thought she would say no? Had he been afraid to take the risk? She wasn’t sure there was any way she’d ever be able to know for sure.

  She heard a knock on the door.

  She tucked the towel around her body a little tighter, and gave her hair one last tumble with the other towel before tossing it aside. She looked through the peephole in the door and saw that it was Bryce.

  What did he want with her?

  From the way he’d responded to her during that kiss, she had a feeling she knew. She wasn’t certain, but she thought—she hoped—that Bryce was about to take another risk. And if he was, then this time she was determined not to pass up her chance to show him exactly how she felt.

  She let the door swing open, and Bryce walked in. A second later, she was in his arms. The towel barely made a sound as it fell to the floor.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  HE PRESSED HER into his arms, slamming the door shut behind him with his foot as he pulled her body into his. As her towel fell from her body, she felt the roughness of his clothes against her naked skin. An electric heat crackled between them as he bent to kiss her again.

  For weeks, her mind had swirled with what-ifs. What if Bryce thought she was just out for a thrill? What if that first kiss had only been about nostalgia? What if they were only getting caught up in the moment, influenced by their romantic settings?

  But there was nothing uncertain about what was happening now. He kissed her in a way that claimed her. He held her body close as he entered the hotel room and leaned her against the wall, his tongue exploring every corner of her mouth.

  And she kissed him back just as ardently, hoping to make her intentions clear. For days, she’d been looking for a chance to show him exactly how she felt. Now that chance was here, and she wasn’t going to waste it.

  Bryce’s kisses began to move down to her jawline. He made his way down her neck, and the crook of her shoulder, and then lower, to the first rise of her breast. She leaned her head back and moaned in response to the heat of his mouth against her skin.

  A yearning had been stirring in her body for weeks. That yearning was fully awake now, and for the first time, she didn’t feel she had to hold it back.

  And then his mouth was on hers again, and as his hands found her breasts she couldn’t think anymore. She was lost in sensation. The traces of cedar and spice that had teased her since her arrival covered her body now. The fabric of his shirt, rough against her bare skin, both chafed and tantalized. Her fingers trembled as she reached to undo the buttons. She slid the shirt from his back, finally able to touch his naked chest after weeks of burning to feel his skin against hers. The room was quiet except for the rustle of their bodies moving together, but the roar of her pulse in her ears drowned out everything except the small voice inside her that screamed, Don’t stop!

  She wholeheartedly agreed with that voice. She didn’t want to stop. Except for one thing.

  She wrenched herself away from Bryce’s kiss. “There’s something I need to tell you,” she said.

  “What?” His breathing was heavy, ragged.

  “It’s been...a long time, since I’ve done this.”

  “How long?”

  Five years, four months and twenty-two days. She hesitated. She didn’t want to tell him. It was embarrassing. And yet...

  Show him how you feel, the voice inside her urged. If she was going to get her chance, this was it.

  His eyes bored into hers. “How long, Cassie?”

  “About five years.”

  Something in his face changed. If he’d been eager before, now he almost looked hungry. As though her words, far from slowing him down, had sparked renewed desire. He kissed her with renewed urgency, and her mo
uth opened to his as she desperately tried to give him all the unspoken words and pent-up emotions that she hadn’t known how to express.

  They were still leaning against the wall. He held her body against his, hands pressed against the small of her back as they advanced farther into the room. He walked her back until her thighs touched the edge of the four-poster bed, and then he toppled her onto it with a gentle push. He kicked off his shoes, then pulled a small packet from his pocket. Ah. Protection. She was glad to see that this was at least one way in which Bryce hadn’t changed. He was still looking out for them both.

  He shoved his jeans off and stood before her in his boxers. She took in everything she’d wanted to see since her first day here. Well, almost everything. His body was familiar, but different in all the ways she’d anticipated it to be. His thighs were smooth and muscled, his torso defined. His tan covered his whole body.

  And if there had been any doubt up to this point about the way he felt about her, it fell away as she saw the full evidence of his attraction beneath his boxers. He eased those off now, and let her look her fill. He stood before her, vulnerable, exposed...and wanting her.

  “I missed this view,” she said.

  “You’re not the only one,” he replied. He stepped forward, slipping onto the bed with her, his body alongside hers.

  “There were some other things I missed, too.”

  “Oh? Like this?” He leaned forward and kissed her.

  “Yes.”

  “And this?” He stroked her breast and planted a slow kiss on one nipple.

  “Yes.”

  “How about this?” He slipped his hand away from her breast, down the length of her body and to the top of her thigh. Her legs fell apart as she felt his hand between them, searching for the sensitive little nub between her legs. His thumb glided back and forth with slow, smooth strokes, and she began to melt with pleasure.