Wanted for Life

by Allison B Hanson

  She was dressed in the same clothes she’d been wearing when she jumped off the balcony. Only, she was filthy.

  Christ, this was an odd fantasy. Normally he dreamed of sexy, put-together Angel, not this mess that was limping to his refrigerator.

  “Are you real?” he heard himself ask out loud.

  “Are you drunk?” All four Angels tilted their heads to the side at the same time. The movement made him dizzy.

  “Oh, hell,” he said, stumbled out into the backyard, and threw up.

  Chapter Eighty-Six

  Angel spared a moment to make sure Colton was okay. He moaned from his prone position on the back porch, promising he’d never drink ever again. She smiled at his conviction while raiding the refrigerator. She was starving.

  Before he opened the door, she’d been debating on what she wanted more—food or a hot shower. She probably couldn’t smell much worse, but she could pass out from a lack of food. Her stomach cast its vote with a loud grumble. She was so hungry she was still able to eat the pasta salad she found despite Colton’s retching off the back porch.

  In an effort not to end up next to him, she halted the gorge-fest after she finished off a piece of leftover pizza. Pudge was dancing around her legs, and she had a feeling it wasn’t just because she had food.

  “Are you happy to see me?” she asked the dog, who responded with a sharp bark. “Yeah, I missed you, too.”

  He fell to his side and rolled over for a tummy rub.

  “You wouldn’t believe what I went through,” she shared.

  When she’d come across the junkyard, she’d thought her troubles had ended.

  Her uncle had owned a salvage yard. On the one and only occasion her family had gone to visit him, she’d played happily in the vehicles, pretending she could drive, even trying the keys she’d found in some of them. She therefore knew from her youthful adventure there that not every vehicle was completely out of commission. Some of them still ran. Plus, no one was likely to notice if one was missing. A bit of knowledge that had saved her butt a time or two in her career.

  She’d lucked out and found a minivan that still had the keys hanging in the ignition. It started right up, and she’d thought she was home free until she put it in reverse and nothing happened. No reverse.

  After checking out a few other options, she finally came across a Camaro with pink fur across the dash and leopard seat covers. It smoked, but it ran. Not wanting to lead anyone to Crystal Grove, she ditched it two towns over and walked—make that limped—the rest of the way back to Colton’s. It had been an ordeal, but she’d made it.

  “I’m back now.” She bent to give Pudge a thorough petting.

  The dog was only one of the many reasons she’d come back. The biggest reason was still lying on the porch making sounds of remorse from his overindulgence.

  She went to the bathroom and tossed all her clothes straight in the trash. Even if there was a way to get them clean, she never wanted to see them again.

  Stepping under the warm water was heaven…for about twenty seconds. Then the burning started, identifying every scratch and blister on her body. There were many. Some she hadn’t known about until that moment.

  The water ran different shades of brown, gray, and red, depending on the body part the stream was focused on. After scrubbing twice and gingerly washing her hair, she continued to stand under the water for as long as her ankle would hold her. She knew if she sat down in the tub she probably wouldn’t be able to get back up.

  Sparing a few seconds to the idea of sleeping in the tub, she shut the water off and maneuvered herself to sit on the edge of the bathtub.

  She’d made it home.

  This hadn’t been her original destination, but once she’d found a moving vehicle, she didn’t even bother trying to come up with a new plan. She wanted Colton. She wanted to get clean and crawl into his arms so he could make everything okay again.

  Unfortunately, that plan was going to have to wait until he recovered.

  She could probably guess why he was drunk—she was pretty sure she was the cause. Would she tell him how close she’d been to not to coming back? Or just tell him about her adventure and let him assume that’s what had caused the delay?

  A question for later, when she was better rested.

  Pudge stayed with her every step as she hobbled into the bedroom to get dressed. Her clothes were all gone. Great. So she slipped into one of Colton’s T-shirts and a pair of his boxers.

  She checked on Colton, who was now sleeping on the porch. Deciding that was probably the best place for him, she left him there and crawled into his bed. Once there, she knew she wouldn’t be able to move even if the SWAT team stormed the room to take her in.

  She closed her eyes and, for once, welcomed sleep. As she faded off, she felt Pudge jump on the bed to lie next to her. And she smiled.

  It felt like only a few hours later when the sound of the shower coming on woke her. It was still early. Only a hint of dawn colored the sky. She covered her head with the pillow, not ready to get up.

  But she could still hear Colton moan and mutter to himself, splashing under the spray. Long minutes later, he left the bathroom and walked into the bedroom. “You’re not supposed to be in my bed,” he grumbled.

  She’d gone through hell and back to get here. If after all that he didn’t want her in his bed, she was going to lose her shit.

  When she felt the mattress shift as the dog jumped off the bed, she realized Colton wasn’t talking to her but to Pudge.

  Crisis averted.

  He slid in on the other side of the bed and let out a pathetic-sounding sigh, then she felt his hand move across the bed and touch her arm.

  With a gasp of shock, he sat up and turned on the nightstand light, blinding her. “Angel! Where the hell have you been?”

  Chapter Eighty-Seven

  Burning Angel’s retinas and acting like he had a right to demand an explanation for her disappearance was probably not the best way for Colton to welcome her home. He should have been hugging her, and thanking her for coming back.

  But the pain in his heart was still fresh, and she’d caused it.

  She propped herself up on her elbows and squinted at him. “Let’s just say it took me a little longer to get here than it should have, and leave it at that.”

  “But—”

  She flopped back down. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  What did that mean? He didn’t need the play by play. He just needed to know if—

  “Are you all right?” he asked, because that was the most important thing.

  “I have a sprained ankle, sore muscles, and I’m exhausted, but I’ll be fine.”

  “Okay.”

  Satisfied with her answer, he turned off the light and pulled her close. There would be time to talk later. She was here now. He didn’t care where she’d been. The important thing was that she was home.

  After several moments, he felt pleasantly relaxed. He smiled. “You said you loved me.”

  “No, I didn’t.”

  He smiled wider. “You almost said it.”

  She let out a small huff. “I don’t want to talk about that, either.”

  “We’ll see about that,” he whispered, feeling happier than he’d felt in over a year. Because she’d just admitted she had almost said it.

  Chapter Eighty-Eight

  Later that morning, Angel woke up alone in bed.

  This was different. She was usually the first one up. She frowned. She didn’t like this. Now she understood what it must feel like for him. That disconcerting feeling of abandonment.

  Except Pudge stood and licked her face.

  “Good morning.” She pushed his doggy breath away, guessing hers probably wasn’t much better.

  She moved to get up, forgetting her ankle, and went down to her knees in pain.

  “Ow! Damn you, gravity. Damn you to hell.”

  “You really want to piss off gravity? You know it keeps you from f
loating off into space, right?” Colton was already by her side, helping her back onto the bed.

  “I thought you were a math teacher. I don’t need a science lesson.”

  “I’m full service.” He smiled as he bent to take a look at her ankle. The smile was replaced by a grimace. Then he looked up at her head and winced.

  She knew she had about six seconds before the fussing started. She opened her mouth to tell him she was fine, but he picked her up and proceeded to carry her out to the sofa.

  “I can walk,” she protested.

  “Yes. I saw how that went. The cursing and falling over. Very efficient. What the hell happened to you out there?”

  From her spot on the sofa she noticed an odd-looking contraption on the coffee table. He picked it up and held it to her foot.

  “Is that a cast?”

  “It’s for sprains. It says so on the box. I wasn’t sure what size to get.”

  It was obvious he was dealing with his own issues. He looked like the poster child for hangovers, but he’d gotten up early and gone to the store to get her medical supplies. Her ankle hurt, and her head was throbbing, but it was nothing compared to the pain in her chest from holding back a flood of silly tears.

  The first air cast was too big, and so was the second one.

  “Angel?” he said her name while frowning at her foot.

  “Yeah?

  “You’re so tiny. I never realized how small you are.”

  “Whoa. I don’t need your pity. I can handle it. I am handling things.” The assertion may have been more convincing if her voice hadn’t cracked.

  If Colton noticed, he didn’t say anything. He simply leaned into her and put his head on her shoulder.

  “That’s good, because I’m not handling it,” he confessed.

  She didn’t know how to respond to his tenderness. Her team looked out for one another. They cared and checked in on each other. But this was different.

  “Do you want me to leave?” she asked.

  She could tell her pain was hurting Colton. This wasn’t just friendship, or two people looking out for each other. This was more. More than she’d ever experienced, and she didn’t know what to do.

  For a moment she thought about running, but she quickly pushed the idea away. Not only could she not move, but she didn’t think she could make herself leave him even if she were physically able. How many times had she tried recently? How many times had she ended up right back here?

  Not good. Because at some point she really would need to leave. This situation wasn’t forever. But not today. They could have a little while longer.

  “I’m just worried you’re going to try to go on this mission alone,” he said. “What if you get hurt and I’m not there to help you?”

  This was the conversation she’d been avoiding. She’d known they would have to have it eventually, but she wasn’t ready to piss him off and hurt his feelings.

  “You can’t come with me,” she told him, making sure her voice was strong.

  “Yes, I can. You need help.”

  “I’ll be fine.”

  He sat back on his heels and gave her a level look. “If you’re even thinking of setting something up all by yourself, you’re not as smart as I thought. Everyone needs backup. If you insist on shutting me out, then tell me who is going with you in my place.”

  “This is my problem. I’ll handle it.” She couldn’t risk her team. If they got caught helping her, they could all lose their jobs. Or worse.

  “It’s not just your problem. It’s a problem for everyone who cares about you. You’re tough as hell, but you’re still a human being. Even if this Jim person sets something up with Noah, you don’t know how many others are coming with them as their backup.”

  “I came to you for refuge, not to get you involved in my shit.”

  He let out a breath, but didn’t sound the least bit defeated. “I get it if you don’t think you can trust me to have your back. We’ve never worked together that way, and you might not feel safe relying on me. But promise you’ll take someone from your team. Someone you can trust.”

  Ah, hell. Was he serious? He was the person she trusted most in the world. The one she knew for certain she could rely on.

  Which was exactly why she needed to keep him safe.

  No matter what.

  Chapter Eighty-Nine

  As if mirroring Colton’s mood, the sky darkened, and the first rumble of thunder sounded in the distance. It was bad enough to send Pudge running for cover to the bedroom.

  Colton wanted to push Angel to let him come with her, but he realized he shouldn’t become her storm. He couldn’t be loud and demanding and scare her off under the bed…and right out of his life.

  This needed to be her decision. And as long as she was safe, that was all that mattered. It didn’t need to be him, as long as there was someone along to protect her.

  She blinked up at him, and he hoped she could see how much he cared about her—loved her—and wanted her to be safe. No matter who went with her.

  He knew she was fierce and capable. But as she sat there wearing his T-shirt and boxers, she also looked small and breakable.

  Her eyes softened. “I trust you, Colton. Completely. You were an awesome agent, and I know you would risk everything for me. That’s why I don’t want you there.”

  He looked at his hands resting on his thighs. “You think my emotions would make me sloppy?” It was a genuine concern, but one he’d considered. It would be one thing if she wasn’t trained. It would be difficult for him to protect himself and her at the same time.

  But he knew she was a skilled marshal. He knew she could pull her own weight—hell, more than her own weight. He would be backing her up and she would be backing him up. They would be a team. He could handle it.

  What he couldn’t handle would be staying behind, sitting around hoping she came back. The waiting would be agony. But he would find a way to do just that, if she didn’t trust him. The important thing was that she didn’t go alone.

  She shook her head. “Last year it was my job to keep you safe. I understand that’s not my job anymore, but I still can’t see you hurt because of me. I’m the one who failed Heath Zeller. I can’t let anyone else get mixed up in this situation. I’ll take care of it.”

  He looked down at her ankle, so delicate it looked as if he could snap it with his bare hands.

  This was it. He had to make her see what she was doing to him.

  Capturing her gaze with his, he swallowed down his pride…and opened up his heart.

  “You’re asking me to sit here while you go off to face the unknown all by yourself. Not knowing if you’ll come back.”

  She opened her mouth to respond, but he cut her off.

  “You said you don’t want to see me hurt because of you. Look into my eyes, Angel. Don’t you see how much you’re hurting me right now? Don’t you see that you are killing me by forcing me to stay behind?”

  Chapter Ninety

  Colton’s eyes were fierce and Angel wanted to cringe away, but she couldn’t. She was trapped. She was losing this battle, and it was too important not to succeed.

  “I—” But she had no answer. Nothing to come back with. And it wouldn’t matter, because his next words sealed her fate.

  “I love you.” He rested his palm on her cheek and placed the softest of kisses on her lips. “Please,” he whispered and rested his forehead against hers. Waiting.

  He loved her.

  Her heart pounded as if it were a truth-detecting device, confirming his words were sincere.

  Tears came to her eyes, stinging, burning happiness that clamped her throat shut and kept her from answering. Instead, she pulled his mouth to hers in a searing kiss.

  He loved her.

  He knew she was broken, damaged, and flawed. But Colton loved her, anyway.

  She’d teased Garrett the last time she saw him, when he’d told her he was in love. He’d told her there was someone out there for ever
yone.

  She’d thought it a delusional concept—not to mention extremely futile. There were so many people on the planet. If there was one person—her person—out there somewhere, how would she ever find him?

  The answer was, she and Colton had found each other. Like magnets, they had come together, and no matter how many times she pushed him away, she knew he would always come back into her life.

  He loved her, and he was her person.

  Her kiss became more urgent. She needed him.

  His moan of assent set her off, and she pulled at his clothes as he ripped the shirt she was wearing to get to her breasts. His kisses moved up her throat to her chin as he twisted out of his pants.

  Frantic to get him naked, she tugged his shirt over his head. His lips crashed back to hers after the brief separation. Thunder boomed outside as the rain started. Slow at first, but picking up at a hammering pace.

  Just like them.

  His hot skin pressed against hers when they were finally bare. She opened for him and he rested against her. Waiting.

  They were on the sofa, and the condoms were in the bedroom. In that moment of silence he was asking her to make the decision.

  She pushed upward, letting his heat sink deep inside. Filling her body, as well as her heart.

  He was hers and she was his.

  Completely.

  Chapter Ninety-One

  Angel’s heat surrounded him, and Colton nearly came undone from that first thrust. This was not just sex. This was a claiming as well as an offering between them. Both giving and taking.

  He’d told her he loved her. He’d laid his feelings bare at her feet, and she hadn’t left him. For once, Angel hadn’t run away from the difficult emotions. She’d stayed with him, and he knew that was an important thing.

  He watched her and she watched him, unable to look away even when passion heightened into release. She broke apart as he came deep inside her, filling her with his love and everything he was.