Dark Star

by Amy Sumida

  Not yet.

  And there it was. I may be shying away from sex with Viper because I didn't love him, but it wasn't the absence of love that scared me; it was the possibility that love would come. Star had come to the wrong conclusions about Viper. I wasn't attracted to him because I didn't think of him as real. In a way, he felt more real to me than Sin did. I had formed Viper's body and placed his soul within it; we were already connected in a way more intimate than sex. I could feel his existence, and I was drawn to it. I wanted him because he was real. Unfortunately, his desire for me wasn't. I had lied to Viper. His arousal had been manufactured by Star, and I didn't want a man who didn't truly want me. Whose love and loyalty had to be forced.

  I had been so sure of my lovers' loyalty. So certain in them. And I had been wrong. So, Star had made me men that I could depend on; their love would never fail me. But with that certainty came sadness because it wasn't real. Viper's desire was another burn laid over the shiny mass of scars already coating my heart. The only real reaction to my weredragon form tonight had come from Sin and it had been one of disgust.

  “So many reasons not to take Viper as a lover,” I whispered to myself.

  And they're all ridiculous, Star scoffed. You're upset because you're certain of his loyalty? Worried that he might fall in love with you? That's so dumb.

  “It wouldn't really be love, Star.”

  Yes, it would.

  “What are you talking about?” I frowned at the sky. “You're the one who called me a liar when I told Viper that his desire was his own.”

  Dusk had arrived, painting the world in lavender-pink that was quickly darkening to deep indigo. I narrowed my eyes at the colors, irritated that I couldn't look Star in the eye while we argued. I'd gotten used to it with Faerie and Alaric, but they eventually left and gave me back my mind. Star was inside me, constantly there. I felt mentally strangled.

  “Would this be easier for you?” A woman's voice came from behind me.

  I spun around to see a pale version of myself; blonde hair instead of deep brown, shining silver eyes, and skin as white as Whirlwind's hair. My ghostly doppelganger wore a glittering, silver gown and a soft smile.

  “Star?”

  “In the flesh.” She grinned and it was like looking into an icy mirror.

  “Thank you. This does make it a little easier.”

  “Vervain.” She stepped forward and took my hand then paused and looked down at it in surprise. “How lovely it is to touch your hand.” She gave me a wistful smile before continuing, “I didn't make Viper—or any of the Star Gods—love you. Love cannot be forced; not if you want it to last. I've made them want you, need to be around you, and feel protective of you; all of the traits that I believe will keep them loyal to you. But if Viper falls in love with you, it will be real. I promise you. You have as much of a chance for a true connection with him as you do with any man. The question is; are you woman enough to take it?”

  “That doesn't change the fact that his arousal isn't real. Sex with him wouldn't be consensual.”

  “You're a beautiful woman and you're also his goddess. I didn't have to put desire for you inside him. All of them would have wanted you on their own. Trust me, sex would be consensual.”

  “Then remove it,” I urged.

  “It's just another layer of security,” she argued. “Desire comes and goes; it's a fickle thing. And it's not what really concerns you. These men belong to you; you made them. Sex is not a problem; it's love that you're worried about. You're afraid that if you have sex with Viper, it will make your heart vulnerable. Perhaps you're right. The Goddess of the World shouldn't be distracted by love. She shouldn't allow herself any vulnerability.”

  “No, she shouldn't. I've just been betrayed, Star. I'm not ready to give my heart away again. All it does is weaken me and right now, I need to be strong.” I moved away from her and turned my gaze back to the sky, firming my resolve to protect my heart as I conquered the world. I needed to be a goddess now, not a swooning woman with a head full of romance. “Soon the Moon shall rise, and the Stars shall pay her attendance.”

  “Or him.” Star came up beside me and stared down at the gardens far below. “You made a moon god your general, remember?”

  “But I am their goddess. I am not just a moon, I'm the Dark Star. Their loyalty is to me; you just said so.”

  “Yes.” She drew her fingers along my shoulders as she moved from my right to my left. “But you left them with him. On the most important night of their new life—the night of their birth—you left your Star Gods with another moon. You left Sin to bond with them and help them learn about life. You gave away an opportunity to gain their affection as well as their loyalty and adoration. As I said; desire is not love. If you want their love, you have to win it for yourself.”

  “And you'd have me do what? Bring them all to me and make love to them to seal their loyalty?” I slid an angry look her way. “You want me to whore myself to my commanders?”

  “No, of course not,” she chided. “But I would have you spend this night with them. Not as their lover but as their goddess. As the epitome of female beauty; their symbol of lust and love. The Dragon Army will celebrate on their own; they need to see you as unattainable. But your commanders must know that they're important to you. Call them to you now, Vervain. This is their first night on Earth. Like any newborn, they'll imprint on the person who makes them feel safe and loved. I will take care of the lust you inspire, and you will watch over them as they satisfy those needs.”

  “You want me to watch while they have sex with you?” I asked in horror.

  Star laughed, a tinkling sound. “No, Vervain. I'm not fucking them either. I will create phantom women for them to slake their desire on. And you, their goddess, will lie on your bed among them and watch over them. You will be there for them while they claim their masculinity in this new life. You will guide them through the process of casting aside their virginity.” She leaned in to whisper, “Trust me; this will connect them to you in an unbreakable bond.”

  The words shivered through me and a dark haze seemed to coat my vision for a second. A shadow over the Moon. No; over a star. I should have panicked. I should have fought her influence. The part of me that was still Vervain knew that I was sinking deeper into a dark place. Or maybe I was rising. It didn't seem dark once I found my equilibrium. Once I was floating in the amethyst mist. It seemed safe and real and right. As Star had said; they were mine. I made them and it was my responsibility to care for them.

  “Star Gods,” I whispered to the wind, “attend me now.”

  I felt the command hit them and their attention shift to me instantly. Star was right; they'd been floundering down there on their own. Standing before the Dragons, watching them satisfy their lusts while being denied their own release. They withstood it for me and the thought excited me, as did the knowledge that they were all rushing to my side. Sin would be on his own, but he's a grown man, and he'd be fine. This night belonged to my new gods and me. I wouldn't let Sin have it.

  The Star Gods stepped into my bedroom and stood in a line to face me. The only piece of furniture in the circular room was a massive, round bed in the exact center of the space, directly below the golden dome that capped the keep. Eight silver posters stood guard around the bed, surging up from a round dais of polished, midnight stone. Long swaths of glittering, black silk swooped down from the peak of the dome above and draped over the silver columns to stream down the dais steps. In the center of these dramatic drapes, the round mattress lounged beneath piles of pillows and amethyst silk.

  I stepped slowly over the black marble floor, the veins of silver within it shimmering in the darkening dusk. As night fell, light softly filled the room, filtering down from a ring at the base of the dome above. My clothing disappeared as I walked, that soft light soon shining over my bare skin, and the men went tense. They moved toward me, drawn by my will and the power of their desire, and when I climbed onto the mattress, they fo
llowed me.

  “Stop,” I said softly as I reclined on the pillows.

  They went still; predators on their knees, stares locked on my body, their intended prey.

  “I am not for you. I bare myself only to make you feel more comfortable.”

  “Comfortable?” Viper asked with narrowed eyes.

  “I will not make love to any of you unless there is love between us, and you are too new to this world and to me to feel that yet. But I will not leave you wanting either. This night is about celebrating life after all, and sex is a glorious part of life. As your goddess, I will guide you through the pleasures of the flesh and ensure that your first sexual encounter in this world will be wondrous.”

  I nodded to Star, who stood along the wall, unseen by the men. Eight women appeared, standing before the eight posters on the dais, naked and eager. They all wore my likeness but with different coloring. One had darker skin and one lighter. One had green eyes and one blue. The differences were there but they weren't as noticeable as the similarities.

  We must keep them focused on you, after all, Star said into my mind.

  “In this way, you may have me.” I waved my hand at the women. “In this way, I shall guide you into passion.”

  The Star Gods tore their clothing away and fell upon the phantom ladies lustily. I smiled and laid back on the pillows to enjoy the view.

  The Horned Beast lived up to his name and bent his woman over the curved edge of my bed before slamming into her from behind. Clawed hands on her hips, he immediately launched into a rapid thrusting, the sound of his pelvis hitting her ass echoing into the sexual symphony rising around me. Panting, teeth bared, and shoulders bulging with tightened muscles, Beast was a thing of savage beauty.

  The Ravening Dog was less bestial but no less primal. Trimmer than Beast but not exactly sleek, his tan skin glistened over a wealth of muscles, all out on display as he stood before his kneeling woman, and she pleasured him with her mouth. He met my stare and grinned viciously as he took her head within his hands and held her still then began rocking into her steadily. The woman moaned and wrapped her arms around Hound's hips to massage his ass as he took her mouth.

  I licked my lips and looked away, right at Scorpion, whose bronze hair and skin gleamed like metal as he covered his woman entirely, sucking hard on her breasts as bent his body so he could slam into her at the same time. His hands had become claws. Not claws like on a wolf, but scorpion claws. Pincers, I suppose is the proper word for them. They closed loosely around her waist, holding her still for his rapid thrusts.

  The Mighty Storm-Wind buffeted his woman with pistoning hips as water beaded on his fair skin and storm clouds formed in his eyes. The sound he made as took her was eerie and sexy all at once; a sort of howling rumble. Storm had his lover's legs up and over his shoulders so I could see the pale length of his cock sliding into her, and I appreciated his efforts.

  My breath started coming faster as heat rose inside me. I moaned, my hands trailing down my body as I shifted my stare over to the Fish-Man. He had his face buried in his woman's sex, far too deep for him to breathe. I could see the gills in his throat working, pulling in air even though he wasn't underwater. My fingers slipped over my sex and started rubbing as I watched Sea feast on another version of myself while she begged for more with my voice. Then he lifted his wet face, licked his lips, and beamed at me before he surged forward and penetrated her.

  I looked away from Sea's slippery cock and over to Snake. He was on his back, his Vervain straddling him but facing his feet; facing me. She was leaned back on her hands so that I had a perfect view of Snake's slim cock sliding into her ass. She moaned as he drove deep and rubbed her clit. I knew he was putting on a show for me, and it made me shiver. My fingers worked faster as I shifted my gaze away.

  The Whirlwind was on his back as well, with his woman supported on a strong breeze above him. He manipulated her deftly with his magic, twirling her on his shaft before slamming her down. She screamed in delight, breasts bouncing for his appreciative gaze as he went from her sex to her ass and back again. Indecisive, that one, but his lover seemed to be enjoying it.

  Yes, all of the Star Gods were most appreciative of my gift. All but one.

  Viper remained in his predatory crouch, avidly watching my flicking fingers before raising his stare to my lips. As soon as I met his gaze, he crawled forward slowly, keeping his vibrant gaze locked on mine, and then paused just out of my reach. My hand went still then slid away from my sex as heat flushed my cheeks. As the cries of the other Vervains echoed around us, Viper straightened on his knees and slowly disrobed, tossing aside his clothing while he continued to watch me. I swallowed past the dryness in my throat, trying to find something to say, something to stop him, but I couldn't form the words. The other men were groaning in pleasure, sinking into their lovers on the edges of my bed, but the first Star God and I were focused on each other.

  When Viper was finally gloriously nude, his thick body gleaming gold in the soft light, he dropped back onto his hands and knees and closed the distance between us, bracketing my legs as he brought his face to mine.

  “I don't want another version of you, Vervain,” Viper whispered. “I want you; my goddess. The woman who pulled me from the Void. I want to sink into you and join this new body with yours. No other will satisfy me.”

  I slid a hand up his muscular arm, my fingers looking as pale as moonlight over his golden tan. I kept going, sliding them across his shoulder, along his throat, and up his cheek. Viper closed his eyes and sighed in bliss as he pressed his face into the curve of my palm.

  “I lied to you, Viper,” I admitted.

  His eyes popped open.

  “The desire you feel was put there by my star. I didn't ask her to do it, but she did, and she refuses to remove it. It isn't real, and I can't take advantage of it. It reeks of rape. So, please, sweetheart, take the woman she made for you. Slake that lust on her. Let me lie here and watch you as my penance. When this is all over, I promise to demand that she free you from this ache.”

  Viper's snake eyes narrowed at me, the green brightening to neon, and then he struck.

  His mouth was on mine in an instant, strong jaw forcing mine apart and hot tongue darting past my lips. We both groaned with that first touch and as I floundered, he lowered his body over mine. Smooth and feverish, his skin seared me. I arched up against that delicious heat and pulled him closer. Hands gripping his rounded ass, I spread my thighs and urged him forward, cradling his sex with mine. But then pain shot through my chest with shocking intensity, and I gasped as I cringed away from his savage kiss.

  “I can't,” I whispered with horror. “I can't do this.”

  “Just tell me one thing, Dark Star,” Viper hissed. “Did you touch my heart? Did you force me to feel more than desire for you?”

  I glanced at Star and caught her wicked grin before I looked back at him in shock. “No. Love cannot be forced; not for long, at least.”

  “I don't know if this is love. I don't yet remember what love is.” Viper brushed his lips across mine. “But I feel something more than base need, and I think—” He clenched his jaw and shook his head. “No; I know that even more will come. There is already so much between us. I can feel it fluttering, warm and strong, right here.” He laid his palm over my chest. “And I know what it means. You chose me for a reason. The others are meant to lead your armies, but I was meant for you. I waited there, in the Void, for you to claim me, and I'll be damned back to that place if I don't fight for you now.”

  My breath panted across my lips rapidly, my heart pounding against his palm. I wanted nothing more than to feel him sink into me, to join us as he wanted. But every time I thought about accepting him, the pain returned; an ache of horrendous sorrow. I wasn't ready. Perhaps—

  Stop fighting it, the Star whispered in my mind. Just let go.

  I pulled Viper back down into another kiss, this one tender. I held him to me and stroked his back, his hair, hi
s face. I let him feel the possibility of us. I let myself feel it. But, when it came down to it, I just couldn't be with a man who I didn't love. That part of my life had passed, and I wouldn't go back there. Sex without love is empty, a poor imitation of the real thing. I didn't want emptiness; I had enough of that already. And as far as love, I didn't need that right now. Hadn't I just vowed to protect my heart? Yes, it was a bit of a catch 22; no sex without love and no love during war.

  I pulled out of the kiss. “I accept that there might be more between us someday but that day is not here yet.”

  “And you cannot make love without feeling love,” Viper whispered with a soft smile.

  “No, and falling in love while I plan for war is not a good idea.” I hugged Viper, nestling him down beside me on the pillows, and then nodded toward the waiting woman. “Go and find some relief. I won't think less of you for it. If you like, you can watch me as you—”

  “Stop.” Viper laid his finger over my lips. “I am where I want to be.” He pulled me into an embrace and settled my head in the curve of his neck. “I'm not an animal that must satisfy his lust or suffer. I choose you, Dark Star, and I can wait for love to bind us before I join with you. I will do that for you gladly. It's not a sacrifice, it's an honor.”