Back Where I Belong: A Wonderfully Witty and Completely Absorbing Love Story (Susan Wade Series Book 3)

by Virginia Gray

  “Well, it is right before Quarterlies.”

  “That’s true. But she seemed right distraught, which surprised me. I never thought they were close, ya know?”

  “Me either.”

  “When she started throwin’ things against the wall, I thought it best to leave.”

  “I wonder why Jayne didn’t just wait until next week to take a vacation.”

  “Isn’t it clear as day? They’ve eloped!”

  “Eloped? That’s crazy!”

  “I know! And so romantic. Everybody’s talkin’ about it. But enough of that. When’s my precious angel comin’ down?”

  “Sunday. You won’t even recognize her. She’ll be crawling soon.”

  Mona squealed. “I’ve missed her somethin’ terrible—all of you. It’s just not the same here without you.”

  “We miss you, too.” Especially Pete, I thought dismally.

  ♥

  I’m ashamed to admit it, but I was looking forward to a week away from Pete and the suffocation of our apartment. The valley of what was not being said was growing wider and deeper by the day. Though I was miserably failing at home, work was going extremely well. I had a beautiful report to present. Dropping The Beast in an offsite commercial lot, we were shuttled to the airport. Lost in our own thoughts, the ride was a quiet one.

  After security, Pete carefully tucked Audrey back into the Bjorn front-loader. I helped refasten the harness around his broad shoulders, and she snuggled into his chest, the pacifier lazily escaping her rosebud lips. We rode the escalator to the underground train. Packed to capacity, we were sandwiched together. His scent never failed to arouse me, and I realized with a shock that I hadn’t been close enough lately to even notice.

  “I’ll miss you,” I said, becoming momentarily lost in the beauty of his profile, his soft lips, his perfectly straight nose.

  Pete placed a protective hand on Audrey’s head as the train hurtled to a stop. He then met my eyes. There was love there, but a mishmash of other emotions as well. “I’ll miss you, too,” he replied quite soberly. I looked at him questioningly as we were forcibly spat from the train’s belly. We negotiated through the heavy and bustling crowd, getting separated twice before finding each other on the escalator.

  “Where are all these people coming from?” I exclaimed.

  “Holiday,” he responded, cocking a brow. Memorial Day typically piggy-backed May Quarterlies. I’d been so busy, I’d forgotten unimportant things, like what the rest of America was doing.

  “Oh, right. I suppose Anita will be throwing her annual party.” I could only imagine the ridicule I’d receive if I showed up at that gathering. “Give her my love.”

  He nodded, dragging the empty stroller and his carry-on across the atrium area. A gray sky showered the glass ceiling with random bursts of snow and rain, bathing us in its dismal glow.

  My flight was leaving from Concourse B and his from C. When we reached the divide, I smiled. “Well, I’ll see you next week.”

  He exhaled sharply and met my eyes. “I’m thinking Audrey and me are gonna stay in North Carolina for a bit.”

  The hair instantly rose on the back of my neck. “Define ‘bit’.”

  “Everybody misses Audrey terribly, and I—” He exhaled again as though breathing was becoming difficult for him. “Susan, you and I both know your heart belongs to your job right now. You promised things would let up, and I wanted to believe it, but they haven’t. You’ll be a week in Philadelphia—”

  “Five days,” I corrected.

  He nodded. “Okay, five days. And then you’ll be playin’ catch-up the next two weeks. We won’t see ya then either, I expect.” He glanced at the carpet. “Right now, you just don’t need us around.”

  “I do—”

  “No, sweetheart, ya really don’t.”

  “How long?” I demanded, my fear escalating.

  “I don’t know. A few weeks or so. Maybe a month.”

  “A month?! What about your new job? You’re supposed to start next—”

  “It can wait.”

  “Pete, jobs don’t wait.”

  He glanced at a group of Asian girls with no fashion sense whatever. They gawked at him and giggled as they passed. “It either will, or it won’t.”

  “What does that mean? You can’t stay unemployed. It will eat away at your insides. It already has.”

  “I still own my business.” He smiled anemically. “I’ll find somethin’ to do.”

  My stomach dropped below sea level, and goosebumps skidded across my skin as sheer horror seized me. “Pete, are you leaving me?”

  His upper lip disappeared. Oh God! Finally he said, “No, I’m not leavin’ ya. I just need a break from all this.”

  “From all what? Our life?”

  He shrugged slightly.

  “You don’t take breaks from marriages!” I choked out, my voice raising a full octave. “Are you asking for a separation?” Those within earshot dropped their heads and quickly moved past.

  “This isn’t really the place for that conversation,” Pete murmured.

  “Excuse me, but you chose to drop this bomb in the middle of the airport!” I shouted.

  Suddenly, everyone stopped in their tracks and stared at us through terror-filled eyes. Oh for fuck’s sake, Homeland Security was going to arrest me! “I mean, concept! Drop this concept!” I said very loudly. I then turned back and glared at him. “We could have rationally discussed this at home.”

  A sardonic smirk made a brief appearance. “I doubt it would’ve been rational.”

  “So you chose a crowd for your own protection? Coward!” I hissed.

  “I’ve barely been able to get your attention the past few weeks. When do you think would’ve been a better time? Three in the mornin’? I mean, that would’ve cut in on your emailin’.”

  I was sincerely shocked. Pete didn’t run from anything, especially a fight. I looked at the stranger in front of me. “You’re not the man I married.”

  He sighed. “And you’re not the woman I married. The Susan I knew gave us—me—nearly everything she had. Her love, her passion, her time. When you were in North Carolina, your heart wasn’t divided. Now it is, and we’re gettin’ the smaller portion. And I’m afraid it’ll shrink up even more with time, until there’s nothin’ left but me, Audrey, and a woman who occasionally drops by the house to change suits. This isn’t the way I want to live. It’s not fair to Audrey, and honestly, it’s not fair to me.”

  “It won’t. God, Pete, how can you say that? Things are already getting better. I was home early on Friday, and Saturday—” He looked at me pointedly. “Okay, Saturday I had to go in, true, but it was only to finish my presentations. That’s normal for Quarterlies. You know that.”

  “I don’t want you to stop workin’. I’d never ask that of you. I just think your priorities have changed. I moved up here to be with you. I didn’t move up to be by myself.” He gently rubbed Audrey’s back as if to say that comment wasn’t directed at her. “We can go back to commuting if you want. You can work from here, and I can stay in the South, even if it means bein’ alone most of the time. At least I’ll be home.”

  “Is that it? You’ll stay with me as long as we live in the South?”

  “Sweetheart, you didn’t hear a damn word I just said.”

  “I heard it, and all of what you didn’t say.” Cold tears spilled down my cheeks. “Don’t you love me anymore?” He quickly pulled me into his arms, careful not to squish Audrey’s sleeping form, and kissed the top of my head.

  “I will love you ’til the day I die,” he whispered.

  “But you don’t want to live with me.” I pulled back and met his eyes, my voice strangling on the words.

  “Let’s both just think about things and talk later.”

  “When? In counseling? In court?” Then it hit me like a speeding wall. “You aren’t selling the house, are you?”

  He appeared lost for a moment. “Susan, I’m still working
through all this. I just need some time to think. Some time to—”

  I gasped. “You’re not coming back at all, are you? You’re taking our daughter and you’re not coming back!”

  His shoulders dropped. He looked down at Audrey’s head then towards his concourse. “They’ll be callin’ our plane soon. We should head on down there.”

  “You can’t casually tell me you’re leaving me in a stupid airport, and then just walk away.”

  “I told you I wasn’t leavin’ you!” he growled.

  “You did. You just did!” I seethed. “You swore in your wedding vows, and again during our honeymoon. You said you’d never leave me. You swore it before God, our friends, and our families. I was there!”

  Gritting his teeth, he looked at me coldly for a moment. “We’re not leavin’ you, Susan. You’re leavin’ us.”

  Dashing away tears with the back of my hand, I said, “Fuck you, Pete. Fuck. You!” I turned on my heels and jerked the handle of my rolling bag, stumbling over a bump in the carpet that wasn’t there. Before I was swallowed by my terminal’s entrance, I glanced back, and our eyes met. Pain and pain and pain.

  I wanted to run back to that beautiful and injured person across the corridor, beg him to stay, to understand, but Quarterlies tugged me in the opposite direction. I repositioned my briefcase. It was an appendage and always had been. The gold band gleaming on my finger…now, that was new. I stared at them both for a moment, frozen with uncertainty. My boarding call sounded.

  Surely we could work out our problems after Quarterlies. I was an INTech district manager for goodness sakes; I couldn’t just not show up. I stepped towards my gate, and then looked back once more.

  The saddest expression I’d ever seen drowned Pete’s features. I’ll always love you, he mouthed.

  Too stunned to reply, I simply stared at him. After a long moment, he turned and walked away, my heart crumbling with every step he took.

  50

  Shakedown

  In line to board, I curled inside myself, aching as though I’d been stabbed…then I was lying on a soft bed, Philadelphia’s downtown lights a twinkling blur.

  Fully in my head, Monday, I drifted from meeting to meeting. It seemed that’s all I did anymore; attend meetings. I longed for an earlier era when training seminars consumed my time, and I actually learned something, broadened my knowledge, embraced the challenges of cutting-edge computer technology. No longer. I just listened, scribbled, nodded, and pretended I cared. All I could think about was Pete—his pained expression, my shredded soul, our disintegrating marriage.

  The next morning, after swallowing a yogurt and a fistful of Tums, I headed to my first—you got it!—meeting. At least in this one, I actually got to do something. My eyes swept over the faces of the anxious service reps and confident district managers poised to impress one another with their amazing piles of bullshit. Lifting the pitchfork, I began shoveling mine on the heap. During my closing remarks, it struck me that more than a handful of seats were empty. Odd. There were meetings you could skip with little backlash; this was not one of them.

  Of course, one of my favorite faces, Reeves’, was long gone. I wanted to cry for him and the others—my others—who’d been ruthlessly sacrificed in the name of evil. I seated myself between Jeremy and Beth; supporting walls that held me upright.

  “Where is everyone?” I whispered.

  “I honestly don’t know, but it’s weird,” Jeremy replied.

  “Really weird,” Beth interjected.

  A mystery not interesting enough to keep my attention, my mind drifted back to the fissure in my marriage. Was this to be our lives: brilliant fits of joy separated by grand swaths of desolation? Was this the best we could do, Pete and I? With each career step forward, our relationship took two steps backward. With the exception of passing Audrey between us during court-mandated visitations, it would soon be as though we’d never met.

  After Art Campbell, Oklahoma’s DM, spoke, Beelzebub’s wife took the stage. The ruby ring Frank Calvin had given her bathed the large screen behind her in blood, and I wondered for the hundredth time why Frank had allowed her to leave. He’d had her exactly where he’d wanted her: frozen and under his crushing thumb. My hatred, a similar shade to her ring, was trained like a laser on her unnaturally smooth forehead.

  “I truly loathe that bitch,” I breathed.

  “At least you don’t have to work with her anymore. Thanks for that, by the way.” It was meant as a harmless joke, but it hurt; she’d taken everything from me. My hand curled into a fist, and I bit down on my quivering lip.

  “Hey,” Jeremy whispered, touching my arm. “Did I say something wrong?”

  I inhaled deeply to center myself. “No. I’ve just got some personal stuff going on.” At his questioning gaze, I added, “With my husband.”

  “You’ve had to move your family to Minnesota, haven’t you?”

  I nodded.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t think. That must be hard.”

  “Wait until you’re married,” I said with a dark chuckle. “Life gets so much more complicated.”

  “I’ll bear that in mind. Liza and I are engaged, by the way,” he whispered, his smile unstoppable. I glanced at the back of her head. With hair that reflected the vague light like polished onyx, high cheekbones, and a beautiful figure, she was truly a lovely young woman, and I was happy for them.

  When I heard “Ramona Skarren”, Kirsten earned my full attention. While merrily dragging her name through the dirt, blaming her for the district’s massive profit drops, my rumbling volcano shot great clouds of smoking soot into the air. Holy shit, she’s trying to get Mona fired! My nails dug viciously into my thighs, and my teeth ground together like gristmill stones.

  “Liar!” I hissed, jumping to my feet.

  Her eyes shot to mine. “Excuse me?”

  “I said you’re lying. Mona could easily run the district without your interference. You want her gone out of spite. You’re despicable,” I shouted.

  “Don’t you dare speak to me—”

  Before she could fire her familiar stockpile of insults at me, the door flew open and the overhead lights were flipped on, their brilliance nearly blinding me. At first, a wave of confusion washed over us all, but then our eyes latched onto the group of black-clad men rushing in. Two, whose jackets prominently displayed the letters FBI, roughly pressed Kirsten against the podium, her boobs nearly popping from her blouse.

  “Kirsten Scythe, you’re under arrest for embezzlement and fraud. You have the right to remain silent…”

  We stared dumbly at the shocking sight of Kirsten being hauled away in handcuffs, all the while screaming, “It wasn’t me,” over and over like a witch’s chant. She glared at Bob and Frank, who’d materialized at the door.

  Our bosses conferred with one of the agents, and then Bob turned suddenly and barked, “Put your goddamned phones away for Christ’s sake!” Those who’d had the presence of mind to video the incident pocketed them immediately. “This meeting will resume at”—he looked at his watch—“three o’clock. Sharp.”

  After upper management exited, several seconds of shocked silence passed before pandemonium broke loose as if a terrorist attack had just been thwarted, and we’d all miraculously survived. Before I could get my “Kirsten’s going to jail” happy dance on, a fully grimacing Bob Shillings reappeared in the doorway. He pegged me with his principal’s glare and growled, “Susan Walsh. Come!” Holy shit!

  Wide-eyed, I scampered out the door behind him. Frank’s eyes met mine in the hallway, his expression hinting intrigue.

  ♥

  INTech’s internal security force, an urban legend, was rumored to be peopled with former government operatives, who’d found working in the private sector far more lucrative. My company lived under constant threat of corporate espionage, as did every consumer products superpower. We were also rumored to employ an arsenal of top lawyers, who, with pen and persuasion, warred with foes across the gl
obe over patent infringements. Though very far removed from these worlds, I imagined computer ninjas turning summersaults through laser tripping devices to steal secret documents hidden behind spotlit vault doors. Yes, I watched too much television.

  Today, I had the distinct displeasure of discovering our security force was both very real and truly very scary. It was also the day I met my first real FBI agent.

  “How long have you known Kirsten Scythe?” The INTech security officer asked. He was stocky with cropped hair and sharp blue eyes. He also had a British accent, which would have been really cool had he not been pelting me with its crisp syllables.

  “Um, years.” The FBI agent, who hadn’t bothered introducing himself, stared at me analytically. I wasn’t bound to a chair with a lightbulb swinging above my head, but I felt equally helpless.

  “You two were close?”

  “For a time.”

  “You’re not now?”

  “No. We hate each other.” The FBI agent cocked his head slightly. “Look, whatever Kirsten’s done has nothing to do with me. And why is the FBI here, anyway?” I asked, eyeing him suspiciously. “Did she kill somebody?” The agent’s lips twitched.

  “We’ve been aware of financial skimming activities for some time. Because thefts have occurred in multiple states, the offenses are federal. That is why the FBI has become involved,” the security officer replied snottily.

  “Okay. But why am I here?”

  “Based on personal associations and your movement in and out of targeted areas, most recently North Carolina, you’ve become a person of interest.”

  I froze, my fear escalating. “Am I being arrested?”

  Ignoring my question, he continued. “Over time, though locations have shifted frequently, a pattern has emerged: larceny rising at fiscal year onset then tapering off in the third quarter. For a brief period, all activity ceased. When it resumed last January, the location had shifted. This time to North Carolina.”

  “According to your personal bank records, you spent significant sums of money last year,” the FBI agent interjected.