The Guardians of Zoone

by Lee Edward Födi

  Dedication

  To Hiro—everybody needs a crew,

  and I’m so glad I’m a part of yours.

  Contents

  Cover

  Title Page

  Dedication

  1. Sneak Attack

  2. The Bug in the Keyhole

  3. News From the Nexus

  4. The Message and the Memory Marble

  5. Pirates in the Portal

  6. The Queen of the Cosmos

  7. Attack of the Cosmic Storm

  8. An Umbrella, Some Nerve, and a Bottle of Bubble Bath

  9. The Pirate Queen Grants a Gift

  10. A Maze of Machinery

  11. The Garden of Rust and Ruin

  12. No Sort of World for Sleeves and Swords

  13. Something in Between

  14. Remnants of the Past

  15. The Misfit Moto

  16. The Factory Fights Back

  17. Crossing the Wild Lands

  18. Hunters of Magic

  19. The Duel of the Valdune

  20. A Door to Many Places

  21. Zoone’s Most Unwanted

  22. A Misfit Mind

  23. A Mission to Save Lady Zoone

  24. A Nexus Turned Navy

  25. The Underground Rises Up

  26. Doorway to Destiny

  27. A Mangled Multiverse

  28. Klaxon Closes the Door

  29. Down in the Depths

  30. Opportunity Knocks

  31. Scoot and the Shutdown Sequence

  32. Back to Blue

  33. Fair Warning

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Books by Lee Edward Födi

  Copyright

  About the Publisher

  1

  Sneak Attack

  The dragon exploded through the doorway in a burst of iridescent green, nostrils flaring, eyes bulging, smoke leaking from the corners of its mouth. It paused for the briefest of moments, as if to take in its surroundings—and then it charged straight toward Ozzie.

  He quickly puffed out his chest, windmilling his arms and trying to look as big as possible. He had heard that sort of thing intimidated some wild animals. Unfortunately, the technique didn’t appear to work on dragons—because, even though this one wasn’t very big, it didn’t stop. Instead, it flew straight into Ozzie, sending him sprawling. Then it scrambled onto his chest and proceeded to lick him with a bright green and slightly warm tongue.

  Just another day on the job, Ozzie thought.

  Working as a porter was never predictable—especially at a place like Zoone, the nexus of the multiverse, where a thousand doors led to a thousand worlds. Missing suitcases, flustered travelers, and runaway pets were all just hazards of working the platforms, helping people get from one side of the ’verse to the other. The dragon currently lapping at Ozzie’s cheek was about the size of a bulldog and was wearing a bejeweled collar with a long leash trailing behind it—which definitely put it in the runaway-pet category.

  “Puffy!” a demanding voice called. “Where are you?! Help! Someone’s snatched my girl!”

  Ozzie craned his neck to see a short, round man waddle out of the door from Garalond. He was wearing a ridiculous top hat, a broad waistcoat, and even a monocle. His skin was as green as the dragon’s, and he had a mustache that made his nose look like it was wearing a bow tie.

  Could this guy be more pompous? Ozzie wondered.

  Then the man caught sight of Ozzie. “How dare you steal my precious Puffy?!” he roared. “Do you have the faintest idea of who I am?”

  Puffy sure seemed to know. As soon as Sir Pomposity began galumphing toward her, she leaped off Ozzie’s chest and made her escape across the platform.

  Ozzie should have sprung to his feet and chased the pet dragon—that’s what any good Zoone porter would do. But he didn’t have to make that decision, because Puffy’s leash made it for him; the end had looped around his ankle, and so Ozzie found himself being yanked unceremoniously across the north platform. He yelped in pain as he bounced on the cobblestones.

  “THIEF!” Sir Pomposity thundered. “Come back here! Don’t you know who I . . .”

  Ozzie was whisked out of earshot. Legs, luggage, and doors whipped past in a blur.

  “What the—?!” a magenta-skinned traveler yelped as they slipped between her ankles.

  “Hey! Watch the jamb!” a door knocker snarled as they swept over its doorstep.

  “OOF!” Keeva, a fellow porter, gasped as Ozzie careened into her stack of suitcases.

  Puffy kept going—and Ozzie with her. He fumbled for the whistle in the breast pocket of his uniform so he could call for help. The whistle was meant only for emergencies—but as far as he was concerned, this definitely qualified! Unfortunately for Ozzie, as soon as he got hold of the whistle, it slipped out of his grip and rattled away across the cobblestones.

  Puffy made an abrupt turn into the forest that surrounded Zoone Station. It was called the Infinite Wood, which, Ozzie realized, didn’t bode well for coming to a stop anytime soon.

  But when a giant man stepped out from behind one of the trees, Puffy slammed into him, bringing them to an instant halt.

  Ozzie woozily sat up and rubbed his head. “Cho?”

  The captain of Zoone security was a large man. With the long scar on his left cheek and the intricate tattoo on his right, he probably should have looked menacing. But his eyes were so friendly that they chased away all other impressions.

  “Just another day at Zoone, isn’t it?” Cho said, a smile spreading across his brown face. He lifted the dragon by her collar and she dangled in the air, squirming. “We’d better get this little lass back to her owner.”

  They had just begun their trek through the woods when another tiny creature came bolting toward them. There was nothing dragonish about this one—if anything, it looked more like a mouse. It was Ferbis Fusselbone, Zoone’s chief conductor.

  “This is preposasterous, absolutely preposasterous!” Fusselbone squealed at Ozzie. “That’s the prized pet of Lord Snogget of Garalond! It’s a pug-nosed Sellandrian dragon, my boy! Extremely rare!” He began hopping from foot to foot. “Did it burn you, my boy? Bite you? Breathe on you?”

  That was Fusselbone for you, Ozzie thought; he was a whole lot of emergency with nowhere to go.

  “I’m fine,” Ozzie said. “But—”

  Fusselbone jabbed him in the knee with one finger. “You’ve got to watch your heels, my boy!”

  Cho chuckled at Fusselbone’s outburst and continued toward the north platform, with Ozzie and Fusselbone—still yammering—following. The platform soon came into view, along with the magnificent station house. With its towering turquoise spires, whimsical archways, and rosette windows, the station had always reminded Ozzie of a castle—but the stunning view was shattered by the commotion on the platform. Sir Pomposity—Lord Snogget, rather—was standing on a suitcase and wailing so loudly that his cheeks had turned bright green. Well, a brighter green than they had been. As soon as he saw Ozzie, the lord pointed a blunt finger at him and yelled, “There he is! PETNAPPER! I demand restitution! I demand—”

  “No harm was done,” Cho told him. He held out a still-wriggling Puffy as evidence.

  Lord Snogget snatched the dragon away and squeezed her against his chest. “This boy must be punished!” he bellowed. “Don’t you—”

  “Bugs and blight!” came a crackling voice. “What a lot of mayhem!”

  The voice belonged to Lady Zoone, steward of the nexus. Ozzie turned and looked up at her—way up, because Lady Zoone was the kind of tall that meant she knew it was raining a half minute before anyone else. Her height was emphasized by her impossibly long neck and towering
nest of greenish hair. Creatures lived in that nest: squirrels, mice, and birds, all rustling and fluttering in and out of her curls. She was what you would get, Ozzie liked to think, if a tree could walk and talk. She had a comforting aura about her—though Ozzie wondered if even she would be able to soothe Lord Snogget.

  Lady Zoone planted one of her spindly hands on the man’s shoulder, guided him down from the suitcase, and gave him the sort of smile that made you want to curl up and take a nap in her shade. “How about a complimentary refreshment at our tavern?” she offered. “The Squeaky Hinge serves the best whistlefizz in the multiverse. Or perhaps you’d prefer a bottle of Orakian ale?”

  “Well, I’m not sure,” Lord Snogget huffed. “I have a connection to catch!”

  “Ah, do not fret,” Lady Zoone interjected. “We’ll make alternate arrangements for you.” She cast a meaningful look at Fusselbone.

  “Yes, my lady—at once! AT ONCE!” The little mouse-man scampered up to Lord Snogget and began to escort him toward the station.

  Cho took his leave as well, and the crowd that had gathered to gawk at the scene slowly dissipated, leaving behind only Ozzie and Lady Zoone.

  The tall woman tilted toward Ozzie and held out a small silver object. “I believe you dropped this?”

  “My whistle!”

  “Can you hear it?” Lady Zoone asked. “The alarm is sounding.”

  “Huh?” Ozzie stared at her in confusion.

  “It means trouble is approaching,” she continued gravely.

  Ozzie could hear the sound clearly, though it wasn’t the kind that normally came from his whistle. It sounded more like an old-fashioned telephone. Like something from Earth. Or, as they liked to call Ozzie’s home world here at Zoone, Eridea.

  Then, looking past Lady Zoone, he spotted his two best friends approaching from the station house: Tug, the winged blue cat known as a skyger, and Fidget, the princess with inappropriately purple hair.

  “Guys!” Ozzie called. “You’ll never guess what happened!”

  He began to rush toward them, only to feel a hand grab him by the shoulder and pull him back. “Ozzie!” a voice urged, but it didn’t belong to Lady Zoone.

  “Let me stay!” Ozzie cried, trying to wriggle free. He wanted to see Tug and Fidget. He needed to see them.

  “OZZIE!”

  He was being shaken now. Heavy with resignation, he turned, blinked, and found himself staring into the perplexed face of Aunt Temperance.

  “Huh?” Ozzie mumbled groggily.

  Aunt Temperance sighed. “You drifted off. Again.”

  Ozzie’s eyes darted around him. Just like that, Zoone was gone, instantly melting away into the reality of Apartment 2B, where he lived (sort of) with Aunt Temperance. Ozzie glanced down at the table in front of him. He had been using his math textbook as a pillow. Which meant it had all been a dream. An incredibly vivid dream. Not real.

  Except it had been once.

  Ozzie had been to Zoone. The nexus was real. Even the situation with Lord Snogget had happened—in fact, getting entangled with a pesky pet dragon had been tame compared to the rest of his adventures there. He had faced glibbers, fought a dark wizard, and played a part in saving the entire nexus. Most important, he had met his friends there. True friends. Like Tug and Fidget . . .

  Aunt Temperance shook him again. “Ozzie, stay with me.”

  It was only now that he realized she was clutching the receiver to Apartment 2B’s ancient phone in her free hand, and there was someone squawking through it.

  “Oh,” Ozzie said. It had been the ringing phone that had cut into his dream.

  “It’s your mom,” Aunt Temperance mouthed.

  Ozzie’s stomach lurched. His mom, Renowned Journalist Extraordinaire, was on assignment—and adventure—in Kenya. She usually only called Ozzie when she had important news. Correction: important bad news.

  Aunt Temperance passed him the phone, and as Ozzie stared at it in trepidation, she thrust a pamphlet toward him, too.

  He was suddenly struck with the suspicion that this whole moment had been planned. He narrowed his eyes at Aunt Temperance. “What is that?”

  She waved the pamphlet at him, not seeming to have the courage to look him in the eye. Instead, she turned her head and stared purposely into the corner of the kitchen. “Talk to your mom,” she whispered.

  This is a sneak attack, Ozzie thought as he lifted the receiver to his ear.

  And he was right.

  Because it wasn’t just important news his mom was delivering. It wasn’t even just important bad news.

  It was the worst news that Ozzie had ever heard.

  2

  The Bug in the Keyhole

  Ozzie slammed down the phone, glared at his aunt, and released a growl. It wasn’t the sort of sound normally heard in Aunt Temperance’s living room on a Monday evening.

  Aunt Temperance’s eyes went wide behind her thick-rimmed glasses, a strand of long silver hair trembling at her cheek. Her mouth slowly dropped open, but no words came out.

  “You,” Ozzie accused, crumpling the pamphlet in his fist. “You could have told me.”

  Then, even though he didn’t have his shoes on, he tore out of the apartment, into the hallway, and down the stairs that led into the crypt-like cellars of their old apartment building. Downward he spiraled, into what Aunt Temperance referred to as “The Depths.” He didn’t even stop to catch his breath at the bottom, just kept running until he arrived at the door to Zoone. Then he wound up and kicked it with all his might. Without a shoe on, it hurt. A lot.

  Ozzie stood back, fuming, and tried to ignore his throbbing toes. He had no way of seeing or even communicating with Zoone because the portal had been damaged when he had first crossed through it. He had been able to get back home after his adventures—but just. Then the door had closed up again. All he had now were his dreams of his time in the nexus, all those weeks ago. It was beyond frustrating—especially after the news Ozzie’s mom had just delivered over the phone.

  “Just work again, already,” Ozzie pleaded with the door.

  It just stood there, silent and obstinate. Ozzie contemplated it for what felt like the zillionth time. Its wooden planks were weathered and gray, barely showing a trace of the vibrant turquoise color it had once been painted. Its long, whimsically shaped hinges were streaked with rust, as was the decorative letter “Z” that dangled halfway up its face. The door looked as if it had been getting pummeled by wind and rain for a hundred years—except there was no wind or rain down here in The Depths. Ozzie knew the door didn’t look so miserable because of weather.

  It looked this way because its magic was dying.

  Ozzie plopped to the cold cement floor, uncurled his fist, and flattened out the crumpled pamphlet. The header read: Dreerdum’s Boarding School for Boys. The photo on the cover featured a horde of boys wearing identical navy blue uniforms. Their faces were plastered with the sort of smiles that always seemed to dupe teachers: They looked innocent enough on the surface, but any kid trained in Bully Survival 101 knew they harbored an undercurrent of malice and the threat of insult and injury. Dreerdum’s looked like the worst place in the multiverse.

  And Ozzie’s parents were sending him there. Just because of one bad report card. Okay, admittedly, it wasn’t one bad report card, just the worst so far. But it wasn’t his fault! How was he supposed to worry about mundane things like fractions and percentages when there was an entire multiverse out there? He knew tons of stuff—like how to handle a pug-nosed Sellandrian dragon, for example. Unfortunately, those sorts of skills didn’t matter in Eridea.

  He heard Aunt Temperance’s footsteps approaching from a long way off. She came to a halt alongside him, but Ozzie kept his eyes trained on the door, willing himself to melt into the shadows, like a ninja.

  Which, of course, didn’t work.

  “Ozzie?” Aunt Temperance said, setting down a tray. “I’ve brought comestibles.”

  She could have just said “
snacks.” But Aunt Temperance relished her heavy words. Ozzie glanced at the tray she had set beside him. It held a blender full of some slightly green concoction and a glass.

  “Vitamin shake?” he hazarded.

  “Mint chocolate chip milkshake,” Aunt Temperance corrected him. “I guarantee there is nothing healthy about this drink. It’s completely devoid of nutrition.”

  She knelt and poured Ozzie a glass. He took a begrudging sip and discovered she was telling the truth: It tasted like ice cream, which Aunt Temperance never allowed except sometimes on weekends. But Ozzie didn’t feel like giving her the satisfaction of a compliment. Instead, he returned his attention to the door.

  Aunt Temperance sighed. “That conversation with your mom didn’t go very well.”

  “No kidding.”

  He couldn’t go to Dreerdum’s. It would mean moving a plane-flight away from Apartment 2B, Aunt Temperance, and . . . the door to Zoone. It would mean being alone. Even more alone than he was now.

  “Ozzie, don’t drift off. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

  Ozzie turned his red-hot glare on her. “Why didn’t you warn me? You had this pamphlet the whole time, then she calls, and you just shove it in my hands and walk away.”

  “I don’t want you to go,” Aunt Temperance said. “But your parents . . .”

  Ozzie buried his head in his hands.

  His parents were always gone, more interested in their careers than anything else—including him. His mom was reporting in Africa and his dad was—well, as far as Ozzie understood, he spent his time gallivanting across the globe looking for precious minerals for his company to mine. Ozzie couldn’t even remember where he was right now, just that it was multiple time zones away.

  “Your mom,” Aunt Temperance began, “is just trying to—”

  “She told me to grow up,” Ozzie growled. “She said I get worked up too easily. That I’m ‘too sensitive.’”

  Aunt Temperance sat down beside him, even though the floor was filthy and frigid. “I don’t think you’re too sensitive,” she told him. “As far as I’m concerned, being sensitive just means you’ve got good instincts. Awareness. You’re a thinker and a . . .” She trailed off.