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The Ultimate Linguist

Page 7

by T. Mason Gilbert

just tell you, you read too much…. Again.”

  I looked around her apartment. “Yeah. Probably not a good idea.”

  “Why don’t you go back home? And when you get back, you will see that no time has passed and that you have not been missed and that I’m telling you the truth. Remember you get five free trips to Wonderland.”

  “How do I go back home?”

  Abby pulled a small vial of liquid from her pocket and set it on the table. “You drink this and think of the last thing you did before you followed my cries for help.”

  I picked up the vial and held it up to the light. The green liquid inside was luminescent. “Okay. How do I come back here?”

  Abby pulled another vial from her pocket. This vial contained a liquid that reminded me of my favorite soda, Orange Crush. “Drink this and you’ll end up right back here. One always returns to the place where one has exited.”

  I thought about everything that had happened. I figured I had been gone about thirteen hours. I had to see for myself if what Abby said was true even though I had little doubt that it was. Had only a few seconds of Earth time elapsed?

  Finally I said, “Okay. I’ll consider it.”

  “Good. That is more than I could hope for or expect,” she said, smiling with tears in her eyes. She gave me a hug.

  I put the orange vial in my pocket and picked up the other to drink.

  “Before you drink, tell me. Do you know your qua?”

  “Yeah. I think so. I understood every language I encountered. Even if I was just reading it. It was weird.”

  “Yeah. Weird, but cool and useful. Okay. Goodbye. Take a drink and think.”

  I removed the cap and drank the cool verdant liquid. I set the vial down and felt a fuzzy burning sensation inside my head. The room went pitch black and I couldn’t see anything. Abby’s voice echoed in the black void, “I’ll see you when you get back.”

  Then utter silence.

  After a few moments I realized my eyes were closed. I opened them and saw my living room from where I had been sitting on the couch. I looked at the wall clock and it was only nine minutes to eleven o’clock. I looked back down to Blongett’s novel in my hand.

  “Tangible Storm indeed,” I said and tossed the book aside, thinking I have had enough of fantasy books for a while. I must have dozed off, I thought. I got up to go defrost the pot roast. I needed to head to the grocery store before picking up the kids from school. I set the pot roast out and reached into my pocket for my car keys.

  I felt them there along with something else and I froze. I pulled out the bright Orange Crush vial.

  I went and sat down at my dining room table and set the vial down carefully. The tangerine liquid seemed to glow, staring back at me. The words ‘drink me’ echoed from my childhood readings of Alice in Wonderland. Abby was right. Virtually no time had passed.

  Drink me.

  Should I help my friend?

  Drink me.

  Can I help my friend?

  Drink me.

  It’ll be dangerous.

  Drink me.

  Will I see Radeir again?

  Drink me, drink me, drink me, drink me.

  I stared at the little vial of power. I picked it up and unscrewed the cap. Oh, hell. They’ll never even know I’m gone.

  I drank it all up.

  ***

  About the Author

  T. Mason Gilbert is a humorist by nature. Although he has traveled in many different (and sometimes opposite) fields of endeavor, his past is not checkered. It is more of a chessboard, full of strange and unusual strategies—some worked and some failed, but it was never dull.

  Before writing novels, he used to write screenplays, sitcoms, and jokes for other stand-up comedians. At one time, he was a sidekick for a well-known Los Angeles radio DJ doing impressions, and producing a live show for the DJ at the Laugh Factory. He also did voice-overs for Premier Radio Network and was one of ten finalists for the new Mickey Mouse voice in 2009.

  His first novel, "The Sacrifist," is an adventure about the hunt for a yeti that is killing climbers in the Himalaya. He publishes numerous short stories and his second novel is an erotic sex comedy and will be under the pen name Matt Broseling. He lives in Orange County, California with his wife of 37 years.

  Other books by T. Mason Gilbert

  My novel and short stories are available at all the major online retailers in print or eBook format. Below are several reviews for my novel, The Sacrifist:

  A Wild Ride! T. Mason Gilbert skillfully weaves a tale of the magical and mundane, the sacred and profane, all the while juggling elements of the ancient, the modern and the mystical. His heroes take us on a journey of love, tragedy and triumph and the villain ends up heroic in a twist you don't see coming until it literally falls on you. As other reviewers have noted, this is a real page turner, hard to put down! I ended it both pondering and looking forward to what the author has up his sleeve for the next installment of this action/thriller trilogy. Buy this book! – G.C.

  The Sacrifist is a great read. The mysterious Yeti has never been given such depth of its own story until now. Not only is the premise interesting, the characters are rich and the story is engaging. The author's knowledge of mountaineering, philosophy and native cultures is impressive. What is a Sacrifist? The answer will keep you turning the pages. I finished it in 4 days and I'm looking forward to the next one! – D.C.

  Could hardly put it down! My reading list is usually filled with non-fiction and public domain classics but I met Mason briefly at a school event and decided to try some fiction from a local author. I haven't read a book this fast since I don't know when; I started it Friday and was finished the next day, pretty much consumed my free time. The subject sounded interesting to me and it was. But it just got better. As different facets of the story were introduced, I became more and more hooked. The author worked in many interesting facts related to the setting to make it a little educational. I liked the dialogue between characters but I think this is one aspect that could have been expanded. I anticipated but was not disappointed by the ending and could see a possible setup for the trilogy. The short chapters moved quickly with something good happening in each. It kept my imagination engaged without getting bored. That would make this a good book to read on the go. I would like to see this as a movie. – S.B.

  Connect with T. Mason Gilbert

  I really appreciate you reading my book! Please write a review at your online retailer. Here are my social media coordinates:

  Like my Author page on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TMasonGilbert

  Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TMasonGilbert

  Send me an email to subscribe to my newsletter: mjollnir.enterprises@gmail.com

  Read my blog: https://www.whoknowspublishing.com/

  Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/pub/t-mason-gilbert/77/4b9/153

 


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