It’s Not Home Without You: A Homecoming Novel #1

by C. Lymari

  “Wow, Freya, you okay?” He steadied me before I could fall.

  “No, I’m not okay. I swear it’s a miracle I didn’t kill that bitch.” Then I remembered I was talking to a cop, and it probably wasn’t wise to say the K-word in front of him. “Kidding, I wouldn’t hurt a fly.” I gave him my most innocent look.

  “You ran over Lucky the cat,” he added dryly.

  This was what self-snitching got me.

  “He jumped at me.”

  Dex shook his head and laughed. “Seriously, you okay?”

  “No, I’m not okay.”

  “You wanna talk about it?”

  “That depends. Am I talking to Dex the civilian or Dex the cop?” I really needed someone to rant to right now before I went back and did something I might regret.

  “Doesn’t work that way.”

  “Then no, I can’t talk. I might say some things that could later be used against me.”

  “Is there anything I can do for you?”

  “Let’s just say, if someone’s tires get slashed, it wasn’t me.”

  Dex’s shoulders dropped, and he shook his head.

  “Actually, can you give me a ride to Rusty’s?” I asked. I needed Rust. Dex and Emma were reasonable; I didn’t need to see reason. Sometimes you just needed to rant, and someone to rant with you, even though you were wrong.

  Not saying that I was.

  “That I can do.” He steered me toward his parked car. We were almost in his car when an older gentleman stopped us.

  “Hey, son, you are coming for dinner tonight?” The man looked familiar, but I guessed it was because he looked like an older version of Dex, same brown eyes, but his hair was shorter and graying. He had a bouquet of roses and French bread.

  Ew, roses.

  “I think I’ll make it. Dad, this is Freya. Freya, this is my dad.”

  I extended my hand to shake his. “Nice to meet you, sir.”

  When I smiled at him, something in his eyes flashed. I thought it was weird, but then since neither Dex nor his dad said anything, I decided it was my imagination.

  “See you later, Pops,” Dex said while I waved at him and got in Dex’s car.

  “I gotta say, I was never a fan of cop cars, but riding in yours feels like old times.” Dex threw his head back laughing. My distraction ended as soon as Rusty’s house came into view and I remembered why I was mad in the first place.

  Shit, I needed to go to the bank. I needed to get a check and take it to Mr. and Mrs. Fucking-perfect-for-each-other.

  I said thanks to Dex and stopped myself from barging into Rusty’s house. We weren’t at that level of coolness, yet.

  Damn you, Jana.

  Okay, it wasn’t Jana’s fault. It was all mine.

  Jana eyed me warily when she opened the door. “Freya, is everything okay?”

  “Is Rusty here?” I was seconds from blowing up; I needed to vent now.

  “No, he had to go with his dad to Superior. He’ll be here later.”

  “Aw, man.”

  “Do you want to come in? I made lasagna.”

  “If you insist.” I barged in. She was nice to me, feeding me, making me forget I ever hated her.

  “You want to tell me what’s wrong, or you want to wait for Russell?”

  “I guess you’ll do,” I said, defeated. If I didn’t get this off of my chest, I might talk myself into keying Abigail’s car, and then Dex would definitely know it was me.

  “I hate them, Jana, both of them. At first, I thought what the eff is Max doing with Abigail. Sweet, sweet Max. But after today, I don’t even know him. I don’t think I ever knew him. He said no, just no. He didn’t even give me a good reason why he said no. Then that bitch made me so mad I said I was a prostitute.”

  “Freya,” Jana shouted, her brows knitted and a hand rubbed her belly.

  Her very pregnant belly.

  I got a brilliant idea at the sight of my unborn godchild.

  “I can’t beat Abigail up because Dex will know it was me and people would think I’m jealous, which I’m not, but you can. Oh my God, Jana, if you slap her, she won’t hit you back because you're pregnant. My little godchild will act as a barrier! I’m a genius.”

  It was clear to say I was not thinking rationally. At all.

  “Freya!” Jana slapped me.

  “Ow, I meant hit Abigail, not me.”

  “You’re not making sense. Why are you a prostitute? What happened?” Rubbing my cheek, I sat down while she fed me and listened. Jana calmed me down enough that I would not be beating Abigail—not like I could afford bail, anyway.

  “Thanks for lunch. I have to go the bank. It’s been over an hour. I’m sure Abigail is probably getting an arrest warrant ready.”

  24

  Freya

  It probably wasn’t wise to be walking around with a check out in the open. Knowing my luck, it would fall out my hand and land in a puddle. I turned to look down the street at Emma’s Coffee shop and contemplated sending her to go do my dirty work, but let’s be honest, I wanted to come. I needed to look Max in the face, even though it hurt.

  “Hey, Sandy,” I said to the lady I had met earlier that day.

  “Mr. Dunnett is taking a call. I’ll let him know you’re here.” She gave me a small smile and motioned me to take a seat, but I went straight to Max’s office.

  Max was in deep conversation. He didn’t notice me come in. I took a moment to stare at his profile. Taking in the way his lips moved and the sharp edges of his jawline. He wore a suit like a Playboy model wore lingerie, and the way he kept playing with the silver pen in his hand did funny things to me. I knew things ended a long time ago, but it hadn’t hit home how over we were. I looked down at the check in my hands, and I couldn’t help but think handing it over seemed so final.

  There was nothing of my old Max anymore. There was nothing of our past love. I didn’t expect it to hurt, but it did. No one wanted to be forgotten. Even when things were over, people wanted to be remembered. The pen in his finger froze when he noticed me putting the check on his desk.

  “Let me call you right back. Something came up,” he said to whoever was on the other end of the line. “Freya, wait.”

  My traitorous body stopped at his command, but I refused to turn around. “What for? There’s your money. We won’t miss a payment anymore.”

  I had barely gotten the door open when I felt him at my back. Every hair on my neck rose at attention. I jumped when he slammed the door shut. My hand was still gripping the doorknob while both his hands were on the door, efficiently caging me in.

  Every cell in my body wanted me to lean back and feel his heat, to lean and smell his expensive cologne, and run my hand over his face to get reacquainted with all the lines and creases, especially now that he had facial hair.

  What was it about good facial hair that got a woman’s panties dripping?

  Goddammit, Freya, get your raging vagina in check!

  “Don’t be stubborn, Freya. Take the check back.” He dangled the check in front of my face, throwing my hard-earned money back at me. One Dunnett had already made me feel like trash. I would not let another do the same.

  Was I the only one being affected by our proximity?

  My mouth opened, but I couldn’t speak, scared my voice would betray what I was feeling. Max was the epitome of calm and collected. He told me I was just a childhood memory, didn’t he? Nothing could have prepared me for Max’s touch. My knees almost gave out from the contact. His hand glided down my shoulder to my arm where I was holding the doorknob like my life depended on it.

  As if having him close and touching me wasn’t bad enough, feeling his nose on the back of my neck and his warm breath fanning my nape was even worse.

  “You still smell like apples,” he murmured.

  I couldn’t move, scared that if I did, he’d back away. I felt a featherlight kiss on my shoulder, making my body shiver with uncontrollable want. My imagination was good, but not that good. Max h
ad just kissed me for the first time in seven years—I was starved for more. He chuckled darkly, and for the life of me, I wondered why I didn’t move.

  The tip of his nose grazed my ear before he whispered, “Tell me, Freya, if I was to put my hand inside your dress and my fingers inside your pussy, would you be wet for me?”

  Those words coming from his mouth were erotic, and if I wasn’t already wet, I sure as hell was now. However, those words were also dirty and wrong coming from his lips. My Max wasn’t a dirty talker; my Max wasn’t anything like this. My hesitation in answer was answer enough for Max.

  “Take the check, Freya. From what I remember, you weren’t that good. I don’t want to take away your livelihood.”

  That finally gave me the incentive to move, taking away the fog he had temporarily put me in. I turned around and slapped him. Hard. How dare he say that to me! He was my first love, my first everything that was real. I gave him all of me after prom. All these years, I carried that memory with me because it was beautiful, it was pure, and I never regretted it. Not until now.

  “What happened to you, Max? I don’t even recognize you anymore.” I meant it as a rhetorical question. I didn’t want an answer from him. when he took a step closer to me I had to take a step back, my body flush with the door. His eyes had gone liquid dark, and I could see an inferno ready to unleash.

  He gave a bitter laugh, his lips flat in a smirk. “You want to know what happened to me? Darling, you don’t get that privilege. Why don’t you go back to whatever hole you crawled out of?”

  Those words were like a whip, his sharp tongue lashing at me. I wanted him to hate me, didn’t I? I just never expected him to be cruel and arrogant. God, why did I keep doing this to myself? Why did I do things that would hurt me? What point did I need to prove? Max hated me, congratu-fucking-lations. When you loved someone for the first time, you gave them a piece of you, and sometimes that piece never made it back. I walked out, leaving the money behind. There was no way in hell I would keep it.

  * * *

  “Help! Someone, please help us!” Emma yelled again, and I didn’t mean to laugh, but I found it funny.

  “We’re going to die, Freya! Die out here! What will happen to my shop, huh? My parents don’t care about it. They won’t want to take on the burden. Quincy and Jess need the money. I need the money, but hey, since I’ll be dead it won’t matter.”

  “Emma, we are not going to die, unless we fall in the pond, then maybe—but it’s okay, we know CPR. We can perform it on each other.” I put my hand on Emma’s shoulder to soothe her.

  Emma was overreacting. We would not die. We were just lost. Coming up to the jogging trail had been my bright idea. After my meeting with Max, I was feeling too raw and exposed. Emma only wanted to cheer me up. It wasn’t hard to convince Emma to come on a walk with me, except I didn’t tell her the walk would include a bottle of Patrón. No chaser.

  Just your typical walk in the woods, a little crying, feeling sorry for myself, and chugging hard liquor. I told Emma, if she loved me, she would drink with me. No, I didn’t feel guilty for guilting her into drinking. The girl needed to loosen up.

  “You want another drink?” I was slurring my words, but I had never felt better. Maybe I could live out here in the woods, nothing but darkness surrounding me. There’d be no Max. There’d be no Abigail. No, Max and Abigail.

  Emma wasn’t as happy as I was. “No, I don’t want another drink! Freya, what if we never make it out? What if a bear eats us?”

  “There are bears here? I didn’t know this.”

  “Yeah, haven’t you seen movies? Bears live in the forest!” she informed me.

  “But isn’t this a park?” My head was hurting. Either we were walking in circles, or everything was spinning.

  “Emma, let’s go back to the pond. I think the way out is that way.” I fell for the fifth time. Why would I wear heels to a park? I should have changed, but I was still wearing my clothes from the morning. Emma still had on her cute, black skater dress and her apron. Lucky for her, she was wearing yellow chucks.

  I laughed when I noticed my scraped knees. Emma came and plopped next to me, reaching for the bottle. “Okay, I’ll have a sip. I think I’m dehydrating from all the yelling.”

  I nodded because her voice was getting hoarse.

  “You know what’s funny, but also not funny at all?” I said.

  “The fact that we are lost?”

  “We’re misguided, not lost. What’s funny is that today I wanted Max to fuck me.” I took the bottle of tequila back and took a big gulp, wondering what we would do once the bottle was empty.

  “I can’t see.” Emma did the cutest little whine.

  “That’s because it’s dark and the trees block out the moonlight. If we find the pond, we can get home.” I never noticed how in the dark everything was creepier. Also, louder. I could hear the night critters. “Remind me never to wear heels again.” I moaned when I almost broke the heel of my Gucci pumps.

  “Freya, w-what’s that.”

  I looked over to where Emma was pointing.

  I almost fainted when I saw what she pointed at. “Oh shit! Emma, it’s a wolf.”

  “I have phagophobia. Do you know what that means, Freya? It means I’m terrified of being eaten alive.” Emma clung to me, both of us hugging each other to feel somewhat safer. “Most Girls” by Hailee Steinfeld played on Emma’s phone. That was her ringtone. That’s when the wolf ran. Emma got up first and helped me off the ground. We took off running in the opposite direction.

  Seriously, the pond was right there, ahead of us.

  “Fuck my life! Run into the water. I don’t think it will go in there!” I said, taking off my shoes and dragging Emma with me. I’m sorry, Gucci heels, but you aren’t worth my life. The water was past our knees when Emma pulled out her cell phone from where she had tucked it in her bra.

  “Oh… I have my phone. I can call the police. They can save us!”

  I was about to freeze my ass off. The water was cold. Good thing it only went up to our thighs.

  “Yes, this is Emma, Emma Miller. Freya and I are lost. We don’t know how to get home.” Emma’s voice wobbled on the last part. I stopped listening to Emma’s conversation and instead tried to find the wolfy. I thought the water splashing must have scared him off.

  What if it was spying on us waiting to eat us?

  “No, but we’re stuck. please, it’s not a prank. There’s a werewolf spying on us.”

  Aha, I knew the wolf was spying. That’s when I heard a loud ribbit, causing me to jump and lose my footing and startling Emma, who in return dropped her phone in the water. I was all wet, might as well try to find her phone.

  “Emma, what are you doing?” I asked once she sank into the water.

  “It sounded like a good idea to submerge myself. It sounded warmer in my head.”

  That’s how the cops found us, Emma and I in the water, splashing around trying to stay warm before the wolf ate us.

  “Dammit, why-y-y did he have to c-c-come?” Emma cursed when Dex came in to view holding a flashlight.

  “But he’s cute to look at.”

  “T-that’s the p-problem,” she whispered. I could have sworn there was a hint of regret in her tone, but I wasn’t one to make reasonable assumptions in my inebriated state.

  “Aw shit,” I uttered when I saw the man next to Dex. He was much older than I remembered, but I guess being captain did that to you. If there was one person who shouldn’t see me like this, it was Chief Timmy. I wanted to prove I had changed, matured, but look at me. I was drunk at a park.

  Shit, parks closed at sundown. That meant I could get taken in.

  “Next time, pick something safe for us to do,” Emma whispered as the men got closer to us.

  “This was the safe option,” I responded, looking from Dex to Timmy.

  “What was the other option?”

  “Going all Carrie Underwood on Abigail’s car, maybe Max’s. I wasn’t su
re we could pull both off without getting caught.”

  “From now on, I’ll pick what we do.”

  That was probably a great idea.

  25

  Freya

  Nothing traveled faster than news in a small town—scratch that, nothing traveled faster than bad news in a small town. Emma was going to kill me. Just like when you see on those TV shows where the good girl snapped and went all American psycho on you.

  Here I was, a sweet granddaughter getting her grandpa some breakfast, when he walked in laughing. “I wasn’t aware we had werewolves in the area.”

  “You mean wolves?” I had no idea what he was talking about.

  “Ran into Tim when I went to go put gas in the truck, and he told me about last night’s adventure. They have the Miller’s girl call on record.” Fuck. Emma was so going to snap.

  “Isn’t Tim full of gossip this morning,” I mumbled.

  “You should have thought about your actions before getting drunk.”

  “Do you know if this recording was shared around already?”

  “Figured all the boys have heard it.” Grandpa shrugged like it was no biggie that all the boys in blue were laughing at our expense. “Oh, look, you got visitors.” Grandpa left the room to grab his stuff while I went outside where Rusty and Jana had just parked Bow. Both of those assholes started cracking up when they saw me.

  Do one stupid thing, and the whole town knew about it.

  “You know what sucks? Waking up in the morning to find out they’ve used your police code without you,” Rusty grumbled as soon as he got out of the car. I thought it was cute when he picked up Jana and set her down gently. He sure had come a long way from the boy who had three different prom dates.

  “God, does everyone know?” I was still in my PJ’s, my legs were sore, my head throbbed, and I’d be lucky if I didn’t catch a cold.

  Jana grimaced. “This is the most exciting thing that has happened since the factory opened, that and the fact that you called a coyote a werewolf, priceless.” She handed me a brown paper bag. “Here, there are two bacon burgers in there. I figured it would help with the hangover.” Speechless wasn’t a word I used often, but it perfectly described me now.