Watch Over My Life: Emotional Love Story (What Will Be Book Series)

by Laura Ashley Gallagher

  “I don’t mind sleeping out there. I don’t want to make you feel awkward.”

  “It’s not like we haven’t slept together before. Besides, if you insist on staying, I don’t want you sleeping on a cramped sofa. So, get your ass into bed. Just keep your hands to yourself,” she warned.

  “They will be firmly strapped to my side.” He closed the door and took off his shoes. She pushed over slightly to make room for him.

  “Come here,” he said as he got in. He put his arm around her shoulder, and she snuggled into him, embracing the heat from his body. She was shivering uncontrollably, but it wasn’t because she was cold; it was her body reminding her she was not well.

  He pulled the covers up around her shoulders. “Wake me if you need anything.”

  “Hardly. I am capable of taking care of myself,” she told him, sounding firm. “But thank you.”

  “Stubborn,” he muttered.

  “I heard that.”

  “Good, you were meant to.”

  After a few moments of silence, he kissed the top of her head.

  “Goodnight, beautiful,” he whispered.

  “Goodnight, Jake.”

  Then the darkness of her sleep took over completely.

  Chapter Seven

  It had been over a week since Jessica saw Jake last. He went gallivanting on some fancy business trip that she had made no-frills of refusing. Mr. Johnson had practically begged her to go. He called her his lucky charm. She guessed it was considering the previous two times she went they had secured the deal without a glitch.

  But she would not be used as a flirting tool for him to get what he wanted. Besides, she hated sitting there for two hours sharing dinner with people who knew absolutely nothing about reality and couldn’t fathom a world existing where there were no limos, marble floors, and slaves. She was getting tired of biting her tongue at those meetings, and she feared that soon her teeth would miss her tongue and she would let loose on a rampage.

  Nevertheless, they secured the deal without her this time, giving Jessica hope that Mr. Johnson would not ask her again.

  Did she forget to mention that Jake had brought his secretary? That would not be the easiest thing to watch. Jessica knew the blonde bimbo was going for more than talks on advertising. The only thing that girl knew how to advertise was herself. Seeing Jake’s secretary swoon over him would have been as comfortable to digest as it would be to eat a crate of butter. The mere thought of her plastic breasts hanging on for dear life to stay inside her ridiculously low-cut shirt made Jessica’s teeth grit viciously.

  She sounded jealous, didn’t she? Jealous wasn’t her style. She was the girl that usually gave out about the jealous, obsessive freaks. Now she was turning into one. Wasn’t that wonderful?

  “Tea or coffee, Miss?” a tiny voice interrupted her thoughts.

  For a moment, she had to breathe in her surroundings.

  The coffee shop? Right. That’s where she was.

  “Coffee, please,” she answered, shaking the heaviness from her eyes.

  She glanced across the table to where Sharon had her head buried in a menu.

  “Hey, this may be your day off, but I only have an hour for lunch, so get your skates on.”

  “Relax.”

  Sharon then motioned the menu towards the young server, murmuring something to her as she did so.

  “What’s eating into your jolly self today?”

  “I didn’t get much sleep last night. I’m a little tired.”

  “Did Jake call over again?” Sharon leaned her elbows on the table, edging closer; the intrigue plastered in her eyes.

  “Jake? Ha! Don’t make me laugh. I think he has fallen off the face of the earth. Besides, we haven’t been doing anything like that,” she lied.

  She was angry, and she was even angrier that she was angry at him. She wasn’t supposed to feel anything for him, not even anger. And the anger stemmed from missing him. She missed their nights together.

  Get a grip on yourself.

  “Why? What happened?”

  This coffee shop didn’t seem like the right place to explain to her friend the ins and outs of everything that had happened, and frankly, she didn’t think she had the courage.

  “Come back to my office for a bit, and I’ll tell you everything. For now, shut up and eat,” Jessica sneered, gesturing to the server carrying their lunch.

  Almost an hour later and Jessica still felt like crap; her head hurt from too many thoughts and her eyes stung from the tears that wouldn’t fall. She needed sleep.

  “Earth to Jessica.” Sharon waved her hand in front of her face as the elevator doors opened, inviting them both with soothing music to step inside. “Are you alive in there?”

  She glared at her friend from the corner of her eye.

  “I’m good.”

  “Uh-huh,” Sharon grunted, leaning back against the wall with an overdramatic hand movement.

  Jessica knew that look. It was the look that made her whole face strain into something she could only describe as uncomfortable. Sharon ran her fingers through her bob-cut black hair and blinked over her grey eyes.

  “What?” Jessica breathed, knowing Sharon was holding something back, and it was usually better to let her get it off her chest before she exploded.

  “You are thinking about him, aren’t you?”

  “Excuse me?” Jessica turned her head, her eyes wide at the unwelcomed accusation.

  “Don’t play dumb with me. Jake. You are thinking about him. I can see it in those eyes of yours.”

  “I am not thinking about him.”

  “Whatever you say. I wonder what Jake will say if he sees me going into the office?”

  Jessica sighed.

  “He won’t give a damn. He probably won’t be there. More than likely he is too busy boasting about his new deal and convincing his new plaything to pump up the silicone in her boobs.” Jessica rolled her eyes.

  “Calm down, tiger! So that’s what has climbed up your ass? Jake is banging Barbie?”

  Jessica huffed outwardly and stayed silent. She was safer not saying anything.

  As they stepped out of the elevator and onto her office floor, Jessica could feel the softness of the blue carpet she was walking on; her heels were sinking into it. She wished her entire body could melt into the floor beneath her.

  She turned the corner onto the long hallway where the modern, glass reception desk was located with waiting chairs taking their place on the opposite side. The light blue painted walls made the place feel cold. Only the scattered flowers brought some warmth to the large space. But something else felt cold, and one look at the small huddle of laughing young women in front of her told her it was the smell of fresh, bitter gossip.

  “He was incredible. I could have told you that a couple of months ago,” Jake’s platinum blonde secretary boasted.

  Her giggling made Jessica cringe; the way she would if nails had been gliding along a chalkboard.

  “I can’t believe you had sex with the boss. Can’t say I blame you either. What I wouldn’t do to that man,” Sophie went off, looking dazed.

  “Everything okay here ladies?” Jessica asked.

  She never acted on it, but she was also a senior and an important figure in the business. She was their boss. She never tried the boss card until they needed it. Right now, she felt annoyed and wanted to swipe the boss card right through them.

  Still, her mouth went dry at the mention of his name. But it was the way she heard it and the words that followed that got her blood boiling. She knew she shouldn’t have felt like this, but she did, and she couldn’t help it. He didn’t care about her, and she didn’t know what possessed her to believe he ever did.

  Immediately, they turned around to face her. “Good morning, Jessica.” Sophie waved, a wide smile spreading across her pale-skinned face. Jessica didn’t know the other girls by name, but she recognized their faces.

  “Good morning, Sophie. Morning girls.” She smil
ed and she hoped it was polite. “This is my friend Sharon.”

  “Hi Sharon,” they sang, almost like a clone of one another.

  “Sorry, Jessica, we were just sharing the morning news,” Sophie explained.

  Jessica always shared a close bond with Sophie. She reminded her of her little sister, April, wild with a little bit of innocence, and plain confused.

  “What would that be?” Jessica questioned, sounding interested, shifting from one foot to another.

  “Just that I am the luckiest bitch in the world,” the tall blonde almost screamed.

  “Excuse me, but what is your name?” Sharon interrupted, and immediately Jessica could tell the group of girls felt intimidated by this stranger walking into their building. Hell, even Jessica felt intimidated, and she was with her.

  “Ciara,” she said, placing her freshly manicured nailed hand on her slender hips.

  “So, Ciara,” Jessica continued, darting a glare at Sharon, “why are you so lucky?”

  “I’m just saying I had a lot of private time with Jake Williams for an entire weekend.”

  Jessica found herself having to take three deep breaths. She could feel her pulse quicken in speed. For a split second, she admitted it was jealousy, but she quickly wiped the thought away. She wasn’t supposed to be jealous. Jake was a free, good-looking man, who may do whatever he wanted with whoever he wanted.

  “Are you sure you want to be spreading that around?” Sharon queried, mimicking Ciara’s position by placing her hands firmly on her hips. The blonde blinked a few times, covering her green eyes, but finished with what sounded like a grunting noise; the momentary wrinkles leaving red lines on her tanned face.

  “Wow, someone is a lucky girl.” Jessica nodded, not sounding the slightest bit enthusiastic. Nobody noticed though, apart from Sharon, who Jessica could tell was raging like a bull.

  “I know. We are going for dinner on Saturday night. He just doesn’t know it yet.”

  The entire group of girls giggled in unison. The only thing Jessica and Sharon had to do was merely glance at each other and they could read one another’s thoughts.

  “Oh, okay,” Jessica dragged out, rubbing her finger over her lips. That girl hadn’t a hope of getting him to go to dinner with her. Not because it was her, because he was Jake. Dating was something he didn’t do.

  Jessica couldn’t figure out what was tugging at her rib cage, but whatever it was, it hurt like hell, and she hated it.

  “You can tell us, Jessica. You have known Jake for a long time, right? What is he really like?” Sophie asked, curious about the god-like man upstairs.

  “You want my advice? Stay away. He is trouble, trouble and more trouble.”

  “It’s a pity to hear you have that opinion of me, Ms. Connors.” She heard the deep vibrations of his voice. He was so close she could feel his furious breath sweep across the nape of her neck.

  Jessica didn’t regret what she said, and he’d be damned if she was going to apologize. She couldn’t hide the resentment in her eyes when she looked at him; it was too strong, too fresh, and she didn’t have the energy, nor the courtesy, to be tolerant towards him.

  “I think you girls should get back to work, don’t you?” Jake advised the small huddle.

  They soon scattered off to do what they had to do, leaving the hall empty.

  “Good to see you again, Sharon.” He half smiled, barely turning to look at her.

  “You too, Jake.” She nodded, but still, she had that dark, deathly look in her eyes.

  Jessica turned to walk away, but before she could put one foot in front of the other, a firm grip caught her arm, sending shock waves through her with his mere touch.

  “Can I speak to you for a minute, Jessica?” He was staring straight at her.

  “I’m sure it can wait,” she said, failing in her attempts to tug her arm away. He wouldn’t let her go. She took a deep breath, giving in. They were going to have to sort this out sooner or later; she preferred sooner.

  “You can head to the office. I will follow you.”

  As soon as he saw Sharon disappear, he began. “What the hell was that about?” he snapped. “You can’t just disrespect me in front of the people that work for me.”

  “I wasn’t trying to disrespect you as a boss, you know that. On a personal level, I thought I needed to warn that girl,” Jessica defended herself.

  “Against what?” His voice was becoming louder. His grip still wrapped around her arm, and Jessica could feel the blood pulsing beneath the skin.

  She couldn’t tell him. She knew he was hardly touching her. It was the medication and the treatments. It made her a lot more sensitive to pain.

  “Against you,” she spat, ignoring the throbbing in her arm. “You can’t just use her like that, Jake.”

  “Are you jealous, Jessica?” he questioned, an icy, amused look on his face.

  “Jealous? Are you serious?” she laughed, shaking her head. “Don’t flatter yourself, Jake. I am annoyed because you can’t just use girls the way you do. And I don’t mean me. I knew what you were like. I prepared myself for it, but I wasn’t in it for anything else,” she stated coldly. “Not like that poor girl, Carla or Ciara; whatever her name is. That girl thinks you love her. She may not have said it, but she thinks it. You have to stop using them. They are not pieces of meat or a toy made for your amusement.” Jessica could feel the anger boil inside her and had to bite down on her lip to stop it from trembling.

  “Is this coming from the girl that wants to live every day like it’s her last? What was it you used to say: ‘go with the flow, that sort of thing?’ That’s exactly what I am doing.” Jake threw her words right back at her.

  The tugging at her chest began to build and build until the moisture stung her eyes.

  “You are not living each day like it’s your last. You are wasting them. And you know what? Someday, you are going to wake up and realize that you have nobody left.”

  She swallowed hard to soften the lump threatening to choke her.

  “And you would know all about that, wouldn’t you, Jessica? Answer me a question. Who do you have in there?” He placed his hand over her heart. “Because you don’t let anybody in.”

  Gradually, his voice was getting louder and the throbbing in her hand was beating stronger. She could feel her heartbeat faster, and therefore, her blood was gushing, making the throbbing feel like gallons of blood struggling to fit through the tiny veins. Her mouth suddenly went dry as unwanted and hurtful memories swarmed around in her head.

  The room. The screams. The fists.

  She felt a single tear slide down her cheek. “Please, Jake,” she whispered, pleading with him. She could feel her breathing become heavier. “Let go of my arm. You’re hurting me.”

  He backed away quickly, watching her face with a pained expression. “Jess, I’m sorry,” he apologized, wiping away her tears with his thumb.

  “It wasn’t you, Jake. It just reminded me,” she stuttered, unable to finish her sentence. His eyes widened in what seemed like both shock and fear. Then, suddenly, he pulled her close to him and hugged her tightly.

  “Oh baby, I never meant to do that,” he breathed, kissing the top of her head.

  For a single moment, she decided to give in, embrace him, and just take in everything about him until she could build up enough courage to let him go. It took all of ten seconds to do just that. He had hurt her, and she had hurt herself by letting him. She swallowed hard and backed away, feeling her heart sink into the lowest part of her stomach.

  “So, here we are.” She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Doing exactly what we always do. Fight. It’s what we do. It’s in our blood.” She bit down on her lip. “Don’t hurt that girl, Jake,” she warned him. She didn’t want anyone to experience the pain she was feeling at that very moment.

  He could have been a robot. He just nodded.

  She turned on her heels and walked away, leaving him behind. She found enough power to c
ompose herself until she got into the bathroom. That was when she locked herself into a cubicle, sunk to the floor, and sobbed away her wrenching pain.

  Chapter Eight

  “Jess?”

  She wasn’t sure how long she had been sitting there on the cold tiled floor; letting the endless tears soak and dry into her porcelain skin. Her sobs had stopped, and her mind seemed empty. She couldn’t think anymore; it was too much effort. Besides, the pain was keeping her occupied.

  Jessica was mentally cursing herself for letting her guard down and falling into the same trap she had three years ago. A trap she promised herself she would do everything to avoid. She felt suffocated, and a need to scream burned her lungs. How had she let herself get this way? She had walked right into all of this with nothing to protect her. Apart from her false exterior, she had nothing to steer her away from this pool of agony.

  Obviously, Jake wasn’t like Rob, but the trap was no different. Either way, one of them was always going to get hurt, and she couldn’t do it. Not again.

  “Jess, are you in here?”

  Sharon!

  She had forgotten about her. Quickly, she wiped her eyes and stood up, feeling the blood rushing through her veins. How long had she been sitting there? Well, her ass felt numb, so that should have been a good indication.

  “I’ll be out in a minute.”

  Jessica mumbled a prayer, putting her faith in whatever was out there that the redness in her eyes had gone down. She pulled back the lock on the door and opened it.

  “Have you been in here the whole time?” Sharon asked, her eyes narrowing.

  Jessica thought it was best to lie to her. She didn’t want her knowing that she had been crying because of Jake. She could almost guarantee that ‘I told you so,’ would flow from her mouth at some stage.

  “Of course not.” Jessica’s tone was vulnerable, but she shook her head firmly as she made her way towards the sink. She stared at her reflection in the mirror and sighed quietly to herself when she didn’t even look somewhat normal.

  “Where were you then? I have been sitting in your office for the past hour.”