“I love you.”
There it was. She said it and there was no going back. She was his for the taking. An intense and meaningful expression flickered through his dark chocolate eyes.
“You have no idea how much.” He took her face in his hands and placed his lips over hers.
Coming up for some well-deserved air, she climbed in between his legs, waiting for her heartbeat to go back to normal. Somehow, she doubted it ever would. He enveloped his arms around her abdomen and tugged her closer to the warmth of his body while she let her head fall back onto his shoulder.
“I think it’s going to be a boy.” He kissed her cheek.
“Another you? The poor girls,” she teased, giggling as he puckered his brow and glared at her.
“We are going to have to tell our families soon enough.”
Jessica grunted. “That should be fun. My brother is going to love you after that.”
“Please, Jess, don’t remind me.”
“I have to tell Sharon,” she wailed.
“Good luck to you,” he whispered frigidly.
“Hey, I didn’t make this baby myself. It takes two to tango.”
“And I am so grateful you tangoed with me.” He smirked, kissing the bare skin of her neck. “But I am leaving Sharon for you.”
“Chicken shit,” she mocked.
“And proud,” he added. “So, when are you going to move in?”
“I think we should wait until we tell our families at least.”
“I suppose we should,” he agreed, disappointment edging his features. “But from now to then, would you like to make your visits very long ones?”
“You sound desperate,” she joked.
“This is what you do to me.”
*****
Four hours later, Jessica sat in her car on the way to see her doctor. She practically pushed Jake to work, and even then, he sulked.
She went home for a quick shower and called the hospital. Doctor Harris had said he would see her that morning. He would not be thrilled with her decision, but it was her life, and this was best for her. It was a bonus that she made Jake happy along the way.
Jessica had decided to tell him about her illness. She had also decided when.
“Jessica?” Doctor. Harris’ small, rounded frame hovered over her. She hadn’t even noticed him standing there. “Would you like to step into the office?”
“Of course.” She nodded, embarrassed by her dazed state.
Yesterday, when she had walked into this room, she was so nervous about finding out what was wrong with her. Now, she was excited to tell him that, even though she may lose her own life, she could give somebody else theirs.
“Jessica.” He intertwined his fingers on the desk after a moment. “I know what happened yesterday must have been difficult for you, and I am sorry you couldn’t have more time to think about it.”
“That’s okay,” she assured him. “I had my mind made up before I even left the hospital, so it took little convincing on my part.”
“So, you’ve made your decision?” He shifted uneasily in his chair. “And you have spoken to the father about the situation?”
“Yes. He wants this baby as much as I do.” She beamed, still not believing Jake had been so excited about the pregnancy. She was still waiting for someone to shake her and tell her it was not real.
“Oh.” Doctor Harris looked away from her. “And of course, you told him about the cancer, right?”
Was she that obvious? She lowered her head to fight meeting his dubious gaze. In response, she merely shook her head.
“Jessica, you must tell him. He has to realize the consequences of you having this child.”
“But you don’t even know what the consequences are yet,” she corrected him.
“Yes, you are right, but something tells me he wouldn’t want to wait that long to find out. He has to know that in exchange for this baby’s life you could give your own.”
“I am not killing my child,” she insisted. The notion of it sent chills through her body.
“But you are killing yourself instead.” Composing himself then, he said, “Jessica, you need to tell him.”
“I will.”
He relaxed then. “When?”
She exhaled loudly. “When I am five months pregnant,” she answered him confidently. This was her plan, and nobody was going to get in the way.
His brows furrowed, bemused by her answer. “When you are five months,” he trailed off and his eyes widened. “You want to wait until it’s too late to end the pregnancy.” He finally realized. “Jessica, you could be making the biggest mistake of your life here.”
“Could be, but I am willing to take the risk, and nothing is going to change my mind.”
“I can see that.”
“I know you think I am completely insane, but being a mother is what I want. I want to give birth to my baby, and now I know if anything happens to me, I am leaving my child with the best possible person—its father.”
“Well, as you said, this is your life, and I am only your doctor. I am only supposed to support and help you through whatever decisions you make. I just find it hard to understand, because I have three daughters of my own and the thought of losing them isn’t even worth thinking about. The same goes for my wife,” he exclaimed. “But if you are sure, I will have nothing more to say but words of encouragement.”
She smiled gratefully. “Thank you.”
“You know, strangely, I respect you. You are doing all of this on your own, and that takes a very brave person. And you are risking your life for the person you love most so that they can be happy. I may not understand it completely, but it doesn’t mean I can’t see your courage.” He nodded towards her respectfully.
She didn’t know how to respond. In truth, she didn’t feel courageous or brave. She felt weak and feeble, but the hope for her unborn child kept her going. And she was going to make the most of her time with Jake and show him exactly how much she loved him. For all she knew, she might not have long left with him.
With another few minutes of small talk, Jessica stood up and made her way towards the door.
“Take care of yourself.” Doctor Harris patted her back as he opened the door. “And I’ll have someone call you sometime this week to give you a follow-up appointment. If you have any problems, just call. You have my number, so don’t hesitate.”
“Thank you.”
She was about to continue, but a soft voice interrupted.
“Doctor Harris.”
Jessica turned to see a tall woman with prominent cheekbones and piercing olive-green eyes. She also noticed the sky-blue bandanna she wore around her head. She was beautiful, even without the long flowing hair Jessica imagined she once had.
“Rachel,” he exclaimed. “How lovely to see you again. You look like you are recovering well.”
“I’ve never felt better.” She smiled, exposing her perfect white teeth.
“There you are,” a tall man raised his voice from further down the hall.
“It looks like your husband has been looking for you.” Doctor Harris chortled, pointing in the man’s direction.
Jessica turned her gaze to where the man was making his way towards them, and how she remained standing she would never know. Her mouth went dry, and her pulse shot through the roof.
She knew that face all too well. Standing next to his wife, he finally acknowledged her, and his reaction reflected hers.
“Jessica?” he breathed, shocked.
“Mark,” she greeted him as the fear took hold of her limbs and made them feel like steal blocks.
The last thing she needed was to bump into the new guy from work. Even if she wanted to lie, she couldn’t. Doctor Harris was the gynaecologic oncologist.
“Shit,” she cursed, mentally handing herself a shovel to dig herself a bigger hole.
Chapter Twenty-One
The next day, Jessica sat in her office, winding her hair around her fingers while t
apping the other hand against her desk. She ran out of the hospital so fast yesterday she probably left skid marks across the white tiles. She hadn’t planned on having anybody else know about her illness. It turned out that fate had a different plan.
“Take a deep breath,” she told herself while filling her lungs with cramped office air. She needed to go outside and calm the erratic nervous system threatening to fail on her at any minute. Fresh air was exactly what she needed.
Bumping into Mark was not, but again, fate had a different plan.
“Jessica,” he called.
Could she pretend she didn’t hear him?
For the love of all that is holy, you work with the man. Telling herself otherwise and brainwashing herself would not work; no matter how hard she tried. If it didn’t work with Jake, it would not work this time.
“Hey, Mark.” She turned on her heels.
“How are you feeling?”
There it was. The sympathy and puppy dog eyes. Everything she was trying her best to avoid.
“I’m great. Why wouldn’t I be?” Jessica asked casually, letting his last remark shrug from her shoulders.
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and his long fingers automatically rose to run them through his black hair. She was making him feel like he was an idiot. She didn’t want that. It was times like this she wished she had a stony heart.
“Look,” she breathed, searching around to make sure nobody was there, “I am all new to this, so I would appreciate it if you didn’t breathe a word. I don’t want people walking on eggshells because of the sick girl at work.”
“I won’t say anything. My wife was like you. She didn’t want anybody to know, so I won’t tell a soul. I promise you that.”
“Thank you.” She smiled gratefully.
“Jessica, if you need anybody to talk to, I’m here. My wife has been through this and she knows what it’s like. I am sure she would be more than happy to talk to you.”
“That is very kind of you, but I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
He searched her face for a moment. “Sometimes, it’s good to talk to someone else other than your family. Families take it differently, and sometimes they are not always there when you need them. I can only imagine what your family must be going through. Even though my wife and I separated, she’s a good friend, and she had me to support her the whole way through.”
She watched him as he stood there in front of her and waited for her to answer; but what could she say? She just hoped the helplessness she felt was not written on her face.
“You told your family, right?”
Was she that easy to read?
She swallowed hard, feeling the lump in her throat grow bigger with each passing second. What was she supposed to tell him? Her answer was blank. She couldn’t say anything.
“You haven’t told them,” he screeched.
“Be quiet!” She jumped, waving her hands in attempt to shut him up. She didn’t want the whole place knowing. “Right now,” -she took a deep breath- “you are the only person who knows. And I would like to keep it that way if you don’t mind.”
“You mean you have told nobody? Jessica, you can’t do this on your own.”
“I beg to differ.” She fought back, biting down on her glossy lip. She felt fed up with people acting like she wasn’t strong enough on her own.
“Are you completely insane?”
“Probably,” she answered, shrugging the shoulders that felt like they were carrying the weight of the world. “I have my reasons.”
“What kind of reasons results in you battling cancer on your own?”
“Will you please keep your voice down?” she hissed through gritted teeth. He had no right to judge her. He had no idea what she was going through.
“I know this is probably none of my business, but it’s obvious you and Jake are now together. Have you told him?”
Her eyes widened. “You’re right. It’s none of your business,” she fumed before she turned and stormed off through the hallway towards the elevator.
Of course, because of her lack of good luck, the elevator was already on the top floor, ten flights above her, and it was stopping on every single floor on the way down.
“Wait a minute.”
Was her day going to get any worse?
“Please Mark, just drop it.”
“No, I won’t, because I have seen my wife go through this, and I almost lost her many times. I don’t want to sit back and watch another man go through what I did when he doesn’t even know what the hell is going on.” His voice was getting louder with each syllable.
Now her head was spinning like crazy. She could feel the beads of perspiration crawl evilly down her back, making her shiver violently.
“Look, I am going to tell him. Just not now,” she breathed, her lungs searching for air. Her breathing was escaping in loud gasps now as her head was crippled with pain.
“Jessica?” Mark’s voice was distant and blurry. His warm grip around her upper arm steadied her somewhat until another familiar voice broke through.
“What is going on?”
Deep breaths, deep breaths, she reminded herself repeatedly.
“Jess?” It was from Jake. His panicked voice sent chills down her back. She needed to get a grip on herself. “I’ve got you. Don’t worry.”
Her complete weight was leaning on him, relying on him for his support.
Opening her eyes, the hallway seemed to stand still, and her frantic heartbeat was regulating.
“I’m fine,” she let out slowly, trying her best to stand up straight, but she failed and fell against Jake’s body once again.
“Right, I’m taking you to the doctor.”
“No,” she almost screamed. “I’m not going to the doctor.”
“Jess, there could be something wrong with the…” He stopped himself then and looked at Mark, remembering if he went any further, he would reveal the pregnancy.
She was standing there with two men, both knowing something about her that the other didn’t.
“There is nothing wrong, Jake,” she pressed, relieving him of her weight as she pushed back on her heels.
“Do you need me to do anything?” Mark asked; helplessness drenched his violet eyes.
“I don’t need anybody to do anything. I am going to be fine.” She darted a look to Jake, who still had his arm wrapped firmly around her waist. “Mark, you can get back to work.”
“Okay. Go home and get some rest.”
Jake turned to her when Mark had left, and the look on his face made her eyes sting with heavy tears. He rubbed her hair away from her face and brushed his fingers across her tender lips.
“Babe, I think you need a doctor.”
“I don’t need a doctor,” she persisted. “It’s morning sickness.”
“You are so stubborn sometimes. Well, if you won’t go to a doctor, I am taking you home.”
“I have work to do.”
“You don’t have a hope in hell. I will carry you home if I must. And you can kick and scream all you like, but you have to start taking care of yourself.”
He was right. It wasn’t just about her anymore.
“Fine,” she huffed. “Take me home.”
Thirty minutes later, Jessica was wrapped up in Jake’s bed.
“Since when does this become home?” she asked as he closed the curtains, blocking out the dull light from outside.
“Since I asked you to move in with me and you agreed,” he affirmed casually, before strolling to her side and kissing her softly on the mouth. “Now I am going to leave and let you get some rest.”
“Oh, no you don’t.” She caught his arm before he had a chance to walk away. “If I have to be stuck in bed all day, then you have to be stuck here with me.”
He chuckled loudly and then hesitated before rolling his heavenly eyes and removing his shoes to get in beside her. She snuggled into his warmth and embraced the feel of his body against hers.
“The t
hings I do for you,” he whispered close to her ear and kissed the top of her head. “You’re lucky I love you.”
“Yeah, I suppose I am,” she breathed before she closed her eyes to sleep.
5 Weeks Later...
“Wake up!” Jessica shivered as he removed the blankets from her body, and cool air swept over her.
“Jake, go away and leave me to sleep,” she groaned, stretching her limbs.
“Stop stretching, it’s not good for the baby.”
“Shut up!” She half-opened her eyes to see him fully dressed and brooding over her like she was some sort of unknown species.
“You have your twelve weeks’ scan today. We get to see that baby of ours so get your ass up out of bed and get dressed.”
“Ugh,” she grunted, throwing her legs over the side of the bed. “You know I hate you right now.”
“Be careful using that word. It has a strong emotion attached to it. Go have a shower and get dressed.” He pushed her into the bathroom, slapping her ass as he closed the door.
“Prick,” she hissed.
“I heard that,” he shouted.
“I meant you to.”
Jessica showered quickly, letting the almost scalding water and the smell of her watermelon shampoo soothe her aching bones, and hoped the morning sickness would stay away.
And her positive thinking worked for once, considering they made it all the way to the hospital without once throwing up. That was a record. Usually, the baby didn’t give her a break in the mornings.
Oh, and the smell of eggs. All she had to do was smell them, and her head was plunged down into a toilet bowl for half the morning.
“What are you thinking about?” Jake quizzed as they pulled into an empty parking space outside the hospital.
“Eggs,” she answered, swallowing the bile rising in her throat.
“Babe, why do you do this to yourself?”
She shrugged, asking herself the same question. She was putting herself through torture without even realizing it. But the poor little liquid chicks.
She gagged instantly.
“Jess, stop talking about the eggs, and don’t puke in my car.”
Watch Over My Life: Emotional Love Story (What Will Be Book Series) Page 17
