“You can’t, possibly...”
“Yes, I can,” she cut him off.
He shook his head and rolled his eyes.
“Well, I guess there is no need for me to try to talk any more sense into you. You seem like a woman who will do what she believes is best. With or without medical advice,” he pressed.
She wasn’t even listening to him anymore. He was not making sense to her. All she wanted to do was get out of the hospital and straight to see Jake. This hurricane hitting her was a number nine on the Richter scale and looking to hit a number ten when she went to visit Jake.
“Jessica, you can’t waste time with this. I need you to talk to the father tonight because you have to tell me your decision tomorrow and no later,” he demanded before she left. Her hands shook as she opened the door of her car.
She pulled out her phone and tried calling Jake’s phone to ask him to meet her somewhere, but there was no answer.
“Why do you even have a phone?” she screamed.
Instead, she called his office and Marie answered, informing her that he, too, had taken the day off.
She drove as fast as she could to his house, praying to whoever was out there that he was home. Jake had given her the chance to be a mother, and he had the control over whether to take that away from her. Jessica wanted a baby so badly, even more so since she found out she would no longer be capable of conceiving, but she wanted Jake’s baby. She wanted him to be the father of her child.
And at that moment, she forgot about everything he had said to her the day before. It didn’t matter anymore. There were far more important things to worry about.
As she pulled up outside his large house, she took a deep breath to calm her failing nerves before getting out and carrying her weak, heavy legs up the steps towards his front door. His garden was beautiful, but only thanks to a gardener, and not his handy work. Two perfectly cut green areas decorated with brilliant, coloured flowers surrounded the steps leading to his red brick home. The leaves and petals swayed under the light mist and cool breeze.
Hesitantly, she lifted her hand and knocked on the wooden door.
Would he want the baby? Would he want her? How would he react?
“Come on, Jake,” she muttered to herself as her leg started jolting again at an unnatural speed.
The door flew open to uncover his shocked face, staring at her. His wild eyes scanned her body, making the familiar heat radiate.
He was gorgeous, and it didn’t help that he was standing there in just grey sweats, leaving his tanned muscular chest exposed.
“Oh my God, Jess,” he stuttered.
“Do you always answer the door like that?” She forced a smile, avoiding his reaction to her, while the tears floated in her raw eyes. She loved that man so much, and he didn’t even know it.
“Sweetheart, come in,” he trailed off as his eyes searched hers.
She could feel her body tremble, and he was in front of her in less than a second. He wiped away her heavy tears with his thumb, cradling her face in his hand.
“Hey, beautiful.” He smiled, placing his fingers under her chin to tilt her face up to look at him. “What’s wrong, Jess?” he asked softly.
“You’re going to hate me.”
“Hey, hey,” he said frantically, trying to soothe her. “Don’t you dare ever think that. Do you understand? That will never happen. Jess, you have no idea,” he whispered as she stared up at him through bewildered eyes. “I am insanely in love with every inch of you. I could never possibly hate you. I have been away from you less than twenty-four hours and I haven’t even slept thinking of what I said to you.” He looked like he was in agony as he closed his eyes. “The mention of Rob’s name sent me over the edge. Baby, I swear,” he said picking up her hand and placing it on his chest, “I will never hurt you again because if I ever see the same look in your eyes as I did yesterday, I don’t think I could live with myself.”
Her body shook as more sobs exploded through her shoulders in violent waves.
“Oh God, Jake,” was all she could say when she thought of everything that was happening. And more tears fell. But before she could say anything else, he pulled her close, crushing her with the warmth of his body.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m here. I will let nothing happen to you.” He promised as he kissed the top of her head.
She was where she wanted to be. This was her life.
He was her life.
She just hoped he was willing to accept something more.
Chapter Nineteen
“Jake,” Jessica finally managed to let his name escape her sobs.
Reluctantly, she pulled away from the heat of his bare flesh to wipe the tears from her sore eyes. He had not asked her what was wrong yet, or why she had been sobbing uncontrollably for the past five minutes. Instead, he stood there under the shelter of the porch and let her cry out whatever pain and fear she was feeling. Jessica was shaking now; she could feel it. She could feel her shoulders tremble against his firm grip as he placed his hands on her arms.
“Come on.” Jake slipped his fingers down to her palms. “Let’s get you inside.” He wrapped his arm securely around her waist and guided her into the comfort and warmth of his home.
Of course, she had been there before, many times, but never under the same circumstances.
Jake bought the then old and crumbling house just two years ago, after his break-up from Katie. It would have been easier, and probably cheaper, for him to knock it down and rebuild it, but he didn’t. He claimed he liked the character and feel too much.
Somehow, the house felt different to Jessica now as her shoes met the rich dark wood of the floor in the hall. The long red and gold rug spread across the long hallway and matched the tall vase that stood, almost proudly, filled with gold branches in the corner beside the front door where they had entered.
Jessica smiled to herself then, because suddenly, the house screamed ‘home’.
Nothing about this house ever seemed to be a bachelor pad, even though, with only Jake living there, it should have had. Anybody that walked into his house for the first time would have thought he was a settled man with a wife and children to go home to.
It was thanks to April, who decorated the house for Jake, just as she had done with Jessica’s apartment. But this house was like a palace compared to Jessica’s small, shabby apartment in the city. Still, she couldn’t help but feel proud of her younger sister. She was amazing at what she did, even if she was a complete and utter nutcase.
“Someday, it might be a long time down the road, but someday he is going to stop messing around and he is going to meet someone he wants to spend the rest of his life with, and she will not want to walk into a house that looks like a man’s world. I am only thinking ahead, for his sake,” April had said.
How ironic, Jessica thought to herself.
Gently, he removed the strands of her dark auburn hair from her face and rubbed her pale cheeks.
“I am going to put a sweater on,” he told her before planting a quick kiss on her lips and disappearing upstairs. She wanted to scream after him and demand he remain exactly where and how he was.
The brown carpet felt soft under her feet as she made her way into the living room. The large cream and brown sofa was decorated with many shaped and sized cushions, and a large lamp stood tall in the corner. The dull light from outside was the only light filtering through the room and the drops splattered on the window caused by the rain reflected on the cream walls. It seemed depressing to Jessica, and it wasn’t doing anything to lift her spirits, so she switched on the lamp and let the light illuminate the room, giving it the warm and cozy feeling she always remembered it had.
She could tell by looking around that April had given him some freedom to embrace his manhood in this room. A large, wide-screen television placed on the wall overhead the set fireplace, topped off with a full surround sound system.
What always stood out, Jessica noticed, were the
photos he had of his mother around the house. That was something he did all by himself. He had very few photos around, but the ones he had were ones he held remarkably close to his heart. Jake was remarkably close to his mother, and it was a death Jessica doubted he ever got over. Probably never would.
Jessica’s mother, Rose, was best friends with Jake’s mother since they were teenagers and her death had been a major blow to both families. Jake was an only child, and his mother’s death continued to haunt him.
“Are you okay?”
She jumped as Jake wrapped his muscular arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him. She shivered, just like she always did when his body pressed against hers.
She was staring up at his mother’s picture when he pressed his chin against her shoulder. Secretly, she was wondering if their child would look like Catherine. She hoped so. Jake had gotten his attractive features from his mother.
“You must miss her?” Jessica finally asked after a long moment’s silence.
“Every day,” he simply answered before trailing light kisses down her neck.
Jessica turned to face him so his mouth covered hers, but before the moment could get too heated, she dragged her lips away from his, and with an apologetic smile she took a deep breath, noticing how he was wearing a grey sweatshirt now.
“Jake,” she said, filling her lungs with air, her courage faltering with each passing second. “I think you should sit down. I need to tell you something.” She swallowed hard.
What was she supposed to say to him? How was she going to tell him this without breaking down completely? And what if he told her he wanted nothing to do with the child?
His eyes narrowed and searched her face intensely, but she looked away from the complete fear and worry that had taken over his expression.
“Jess,” he almost begged in a bare whisper.
“Please Jake, just sit down,” she told him, unable to meet his gaze. She wasn’t so sure the knot in her stomach would hold on and let her survive.
Ugh, her mouth was beginning to water.
Thankfully, he obeyed and went to sit down on the sofa. He didn’t sit into it, though. He sat on the edge. Exactly how she felt.
She let her eyes glance at him a few times before she sat in the chair opposite him. Only the large coffee table separated them. But she wished it didn’t because she felt like he was miles away. Jessica looked down at her lap where her hands were trembling uncontrollably, and no number of deep breaths were going to stop it.
“I went to the doctor’s today,” she finally said, looking up at him, sensing he was going to say something if she didn’t. Jessica could feel the heavy tears gloss over her eyes, but she lowered her head to hide it. “Jake, I don’t want to pressure you into anything, and I will understand if you want nothing to do with it.”
But he cut her off then, getting up from his chair to touch her face.
“Jess, you are killing me. Please tell me what is wrong?”
Jessica closed her eyes for a brief second and took a long, deep breath.
Just tell him.
“Jake. I’m…” She bit down on her bottom lip, but the pain would not shut out the voice in the back of her head. “I’m pregnant,” she finally said, staring straight at him and letting the tears trail down her cheeks.
Lord, he was going to hate her.
He did nothing for a long moment, but let his hands slip from her face. Jessica could feel her heart sink to the very bottom of her stomach. He just stared with wide eyes, and it felt like he could see into her for miles.
“Jake, please say something,” she begged, her voice breaking, and every breath was painful to take. She knew deep inside that the words that would eventually flow from his mouth could shatter her world completely.
But then, to her amazement, he just simply smiled. The corner of his mouth edged, and his eyes welled up.
“I am going to be a father,” he stated, saying the words slowly, like he was giving them time to sink in.
“Yes,” was all she could manage.
“Jess!”
She gasped loudly as he lightly pressed his palms against her stomach.
“You are carrying my baby in there. Our baby.”
She didn’t want to wake up because she was sure this was a dream. He leaned in and kissed her passionately for a long moment.
“I was so scared you would walk away from me.” He rubbed his fingers over her lips. “But now, you have no other choice but to stay and I don’t care if I am being selfish, because goddamn it, I love you.”
Her heart was going to explode now, she was sure of it.
“Jake, even if I had a choice, I would never walk away. I don’t think I ever could. This.” She placed his hand on her chest, right over her heart, and she knew he could feel it beat frantically. She didn’t care. “This is yours. You can have it all because I have already given it to you. I was so scared that you were going to be angry...”
“Angry?” he blurted in disbelief. “This baby, if it is at all possible, only makes me love you more.” He laughed gently as he wiped the endless falling tears from her vulnerable face.
“What the hell are you doing?” she screeched through her laughter as he swept her up into his arms and headed towards the stairs.
“I am going to remind you exactly how we made this kid.”
Then, ever so carefully, as if scared he might break her, he placed her in the centre of the large bed and his sturdy frame hovered over her.
She had wanted nothing as much, so it felt forever before he slowly leaned down and kissed her.
Chapter Twenty
Jessica could feel her muscles ache as she tried to push open her eyelids and move her stiff limbs. The room was dark when she finally managed to open her eyes and looking at the clock on the bedside locker; she sighed. It was 6:30 a.m. She would have to get up soon and go about life as normal. She never wanted to leave the warmth of Jake’s arms. It felt like home to her. She smiled in a relaxing breath and hugged Jake closer. Butterflies swarmed around inside her as she remembered what had happened yesterday. It felt like she was in a dream and someone was going to come along and wake her up.
Was it even possible to be this happy? A short few months ago, she never would have thought of her and Jake together in a romantic relationship. Having a civil conversation with Jake then was torture. Now, she was carrying his child and so madly in love with him.
She tilted her head up to look at him sleeping for a moment, before kissing him gently on the lips and quietly getting out of bed, careful not to wake him. She grabbed one of his large t-shirts from his wardrobe and pulled it over her head so it feathered the bare flesh of her thighs. Creeping to the bathroom, she splashed some cold water on her face and brushed her teeth.
A few minutes later, as she made her way back into the bedroom, she was greeted by the bewildered and tired eyes of Jake as he sat up and leaned against the pillows.
“You’re awake?” she stated, smiling gently as she tilted her body against the door frame and crossed her arms under her chest.
“I thought you’d left.” He yawned, rubbing his hands over his face. He looked cute when he was tired, she thought.
“No, I’m right here,” she assured him, making her way towards the bed and crawling beside him so she was lying on her stomach and waving her legs in the air behind her.
“My sweater suits you.” He eyed her body with mischievous eyes. Her cheeks flushed a soft pink.
“Yeah, I’m sorry. It gets worse.” She flinched guiltily. “I used your toothbrush.”
He kissed her softly then. “My toothpaste tastes nice,” he commented, leaning back with a satisfied grin on his face. “Me and you.” He waved his finger between them both. “We are taking the day off today. I rang your boss, he said, to take as long as you need.”
“I should thank my boss. I wonder how I could do that.”
“I could give you a few ideas,” he chuckled.
“Hmm, I a
m sure you could, but don’t you have a big meeting this morning?”
“I can cancel the meeting. You are more important.”
“As much as that touches my heart.” She climbed up on the bed to sit beside him, letting her folded legs fall onto his stomach. “You can’t cancel that meeting. You know this is a major thing for you, and besides, I have things to do today. Not that you’re not important, but I promised Michelle I would visit and see how she is doing.”
Truthfully, she had to take a trip to her doctor and let him know about her decision to keep the baby.
“I will call by later,” she promised.
“You shouldn’t have to just call by,” he said, sounding serious now, and focusing his gaze straight ahead. She followed his eyes. But it was only the wall.
“You okay there?”
He seemed deep in concentration and as if he had suddenly made a revelation.
“Jake?” she whispered, totally baffled.
He didn’t reply.
“Jake?”
“Move in with me,” he blurted, looking at her now.
“What?” she gasped, astonished by his sudden declaration. Because that is what it was. He was putting his words into actions.
“Move in with me,” he repeated. “If we are going to make a go of this, we should do it correctly.”
“Is it not too soon?”
“Baby, I have known you all of your life.”
“Jake, I don’t…”
“What are you scared of, Jess?”
She thought for a moment and lowered her eyes.
“Nothing,” she finally answered, feeling the tears soak her lashes.
“I want you to be here. I want to look at you when I choose and say I love you when I choose. I don’t want to be put through the torture of yearning after you. I want to look after you, Jess. Like I should be. And you shouldn’t have to visit me. I want you to call this your home because I don’t want to love you when you are halfway across town. I want to love you when you are here, next to me.”
Watch Over My Life: Emotional Love Story (What Will Be Book Series) Page 16
