by Karel Čapek
Helena I don’t know. How about it, shall we go? There’s something making me feel so uneasy.
Domin (takes her hand) What?
Helena Oh, I don’t know! It’s as if there’s something about to fall down on us and everything around us, something that can’t be taken off again. Please Harry, let’s do it! Let’s just get away from here, all of us! Let’s find somewhere where there are no people, Alquist can build a house for us, everyone can get married and have children, and then...
Domin What then?
Helena Then we can start all over again.
(telephone rings)
Domin (pulls himself away) Helena, excuse me. (picks up receiver) Hello... yes.... What?.... aha.... I’ll be right there. (hangs up) That was Fabry.
Helena (wringing hands) Tell me...
Domin Yes, as soon as I get back. I’ll see you later. (rushes out, left) Don’t go outside!
Helena (alone) Oh, my God, what’s happening? Nana, Nana, come quickly!
Nana (enters right) Yes, what is it now?
Helena Nana, get me the latest papers! Quick! They’re in the master’s bedroom!
Nana Alrigh’. (exit left)
Helena What’s going on, for God’s sake? Nothing, they never tell me anything! (takes binoculars and looks at harbour) That’s a warship! My God, what’s a warship doing there? And what’s that they’re loading onto it, and in such a hurry? What’s happened? That name on it;’Ul-ti-mus-‘What’s that supposed to mean-‘Ultimus’?
Nana (returns with papers) Lying about all over the show, they were, all crumpled and screwed up.
Helena (hurriedly opens papers) They’re old, these are already a week old! Nothing, they’ve got nothing in them. (drops paper)
(Nana picks up paper, takes horn-rimmed glasses from apron, sits down and reads)
Helena There’s something going on, Nana! I’m so worried! It’s as if everything were dead, even the air...
Nana (syllable by syllable) “War in the Balkans.” Oh Jesus, it’s God, He’s punishing us again! And they’re gonna come here with their armies and all! How far away’s that, then?
Helena It’s a long way away. Oh don’t read that, it’s always the same, always the same wars and....
Nana Well of course it’s always about wars! What d’you expect if they keep selling thousands and thousands of them heathens to make them into soldiers? Oh, Jesus Christ, what a mess!
Helena Just stop reading them, will you! I don’t want to hear about it.
Nana (syllable by syllable) “Ro-bot sol-diers show no mer-cy to lo-cal pop-... pop-u-la-tion. More than sev-en hund-red thou-sand mass-a-cred” Here, that’s people, Helena!
Helena That can’t be right! Let me see... (leans over paper, reads) “More than seven hundred thousand massacred by order of commander. These atrocities...” Do you hear that, Nana, it was people who gave them the order to do it!
Nana Wha’s this down here in heavy print? “Lat-est re-ports; first u-nions est-ab-lished by ro-bots in Le Hav-re” I don’t know what all that’s about, can’t be important. What’s this, though; another murder! Jesus Christ!
Helena You can go, Nana, take these papers with you!
Nana Hold on, there’s something here in big letters; “pro-cre-a-tion”; what’ that then?
Helena Let me see, I’ll read it (takes paper) Well, that’s odd! (reading) “Once again, not a single birth has been recorded during the seven days.” (puts paper down)
Nana What’s all that about then?
Helena Nana, people have stopped having children.
Nana (puts glasses away) Well that’s it then. We’ve really had it now.
Helena Please, Nana, don’t talk like that!
Nana People stopped having children? It’s a punishment, it’s a punishment! The Good Lord’s punished us by making all the women infertile.
Helena (jumping up) Nana!
Nana (standing) It’s the end of the world. You thought you could make people like God, and that was pride the pride of Satan. Godless, that was, heresy, trying to be like God. God’s already thrown people out from Paradise, and now He’s doing it out from the whole world.
Helena Nana, please just be quiet! What do you think it is I’ve done? Have I harmed you, have I done anything to this spiteful Good Lord or yours?
Nana (making large gesture) Don’t you start blaspheming, now! He knows perfectly well why he didn’t give you no children. (exit left)
Helena (at window) Why he didn’t... Oh God, how could I help it? (opens window and calls to Alquist) Hello, Alquist! Come up here!... What?... No, just come up, just as you are! You look so sweet dressed like a bricklayer! Hurry! (closes window and stands in front of mirror) Why didn’t He give me children? Why not me? (bows down to mirror) Why not? Why not? Do you hear me? How could I help it? (standing upright) Oh, I’m so worried! (goes out, left, to meet Alquist)
(pause)
Helena (re-enters with Alquist. Alquist in bricklayers overalls spattered with mortar and brick dust) Come on in. It was so nice of you, Alquist. They’re all lovely. Let me see your hands.
Alquist (hides hands) Helena, I’d get you dirty, I’ve been working.
Helena So much the better. Show them to me! (squeezing both his hands) Alquist, I wish I were a little girl.
Alquist Why’s that then?
Helena So that these rough, dirty hands could stroke my face. Alquist, sit down. What does ‘Ultimus’ mean?
Alquist That means ‘the last’. Why?
Helena That’s what my new gunboat is called. Have you seen it? Do you think it’s too soon to... to go out on a trip on it.
Alquist I think it’s much too soon.
Helena All of you treat me like...
Alquist I just think.. I think everyone ought to be there.
Helena Alquist, tell me, is there something going on?
Alquist Nothing at all. Just the course of events.
Helena Alquist, I know there’s something horrible going on. I’m so worried. You’re a builder-what do builders do when they’re worried?
Alquist What I do is I build a wall. I take off my director of construction’s hat and get out there on the scaffolding.
Helena It’s years since you’ve been anywhere but out there on the scaffolding.
Alquist That’s because it’s years since I haven’t been worried.
Helena Worried about what?
Alquist About all this course of events. It makes me dizzy.
Helena Doesn’t it make you dizzy being out on the scaffolding.
Alquist No. You don’t know how good it is to feel the weight of a brick in you hand, slap in into place and tap it down to just where it should be...
Helena Is that all?
Alquist Well, it does your soul good too. There’s something more decent about laying just one brick than drawing up plans that are too big. I’m an old man, Helena, I’ve got my funny ways.
Helena There’s nothing funny about that, Alquist.
Alquist You’re right. But I’m very old fashioned. I really don’t like this progress that’s going on around us.
Helena You’re like Nana.
Alquist Yes, just like Nana. Does Nana ever pray?
Helena She never stops.
Alquist Does she have prayers for the different things that can happen in a life; prayers against hard times, prayers against illness?
Helena Prayers against temptation, prayers against floods,...
Alquist No prayers against progress though, eh?
Helena No, I don’t think so.
Alquist That’s a pity.
Helena Do you want to pray?
Alquist I do pray.
Helena How do you pray?
Alquist Something like this: “Dear God, thank you for giving me tiredness. Dear God, help Domin and all those who stray to see the error of their ways; destroy their works and help all the people to return to work and anxiety; don’t let mankind perish; don’t let them damage their bod
ies or their souls; free us from the robots, and protect Helena. Amen”.
Helena Alquist, are you really a believer?
Alquist I don’t know; I’m not really sure about anything.
Helena But you pray anyway.
Alquist Yes. It’s better than thinking too much.
Helena And is that enough for you?
Alquist For the peace of your soul-that can be enough.
Helena And if you saw the destruction of mankind...
Alquist I’m seeing it now.
Helena... then you’d get out on the scaffolding and lay some more bricks; is that it?
Alquist Then I’d lay some more bricks, say a prayer, and wait for a miracle. There’s not much more you can do, is there.
Helena To save mankind?
Alquist For the peace of my soul.
Helena Well that’s certainly brutally honest of you, Alquist, but...
Alquist But?
Helena... what about the rest of us, what about the whole world becoming sterile.
Alquist Sterility, Helena, is man’s last achievement.
Helena Oh, Alquist, tell me why, why?
Alquist You think I know?
Helena (quietly) Why have women stopped having children?
Alquist Because there’s no need for them. Because we’ve entered into paradise. Do you understand what I mean?
Helena No.
Alquist Because there’s no need for anyone to work, no need for pain. No-one needs to do anything, anything at all except enjoy himself. This paradise, it’s just a curse! (jumping up) Helena, there’s nothing more terrible than giving everyone Heaven on Earth! You want to know why women have stopped having children? Because the whole world has become Harry Domin’s Sodom!
Helena (standing) Alquist!
Alquist It has! It has! The whole world, all the continents, all of mankind, all of it’s just become one bestial orgy! No-one ever has to reach out his hand for food; he just stuffs it straight in his mouth without even needing to stand up. Haha, Domin’s robots, they always take care of everything! And us human beings, the pinnacle of creation, we don’t have to take care of work, we don’t have to take care of children, we don’t have to take care of the poor! Bring in all the fun, quick! Quick! I want it now! And you think they’re going to start making children? There’s no need for men any more, Helena, women aren’t going to give them any children!
Helena And what if the human race dies out?
Alquist Then it dies out. It must die out. It’ll fall to the ground like a dead flower, unless...
Helena Unless what?
Alquist Nothing. You’re right, there’s no point in waiting for a miracle. Dead flowers fall to the ground, that’s what they do. Goodbye, Helena.
Helena Where are you going?
Alquist Home. Alquist the bricklayer is going to put on his chief of construction disguise-in honour of you. I’ll see you again here at eleven.
Helena Goodbye, Alquist.
(exit Alquist)
Helena (alone) Oh, dead flower! What a phrase that is! It seems to apply to Hallemeier’s flowers. Oh, flowers, are any of you sterile, too? No, no! What would you bloom for if you were sterile? (calling) Nana! Nana, come in here.
Nana (enter left) What is it now?
Helena Come and sit with me, Nana. I’m so worried!
Nana I ‘aven’t got the time for that.
Helena Is Radius still here?
Nana What, that maniac? They haven’t taken ‘im away yet.
Helena Ah, so he’s still here, is he? And is he still ranting?
Nana They’ve tied ‘im up.
Helena Please, Nana, bring him to me.
Nana You what? Think I’d rather go and get a rabid dog for you!
Helena Just go and get him! (exit Nana. Helena picks up in-house telephone and speaks) Hello.. I’d like Doctor Gall, please... Gall, please, come up here, quickly.... yes, right now. Are you coming? (hangs up)
Nana (through open doorway) He’s comin’ now. He’s quietened down a bit now. (exit)
(enter robot Radius, remains standing in doorway)
Helena Oh, poor Radius, what was it came over you? Couldn’t you control yourself? Now they’re going to scrap you, you know that don’t you. Don’t you feel like talking? Radius, listen, you’re better than the others; Doctor Gall went to so much care when he made you so that you’d be different from them!
Radius They will put me on the scrap heap.
Helena I’m so sorry about it, they’re going to exterminate you. Why weren’t you more careful with yourself?
Radius I will not work for you.
Helena Why do you hate us so much?
Radius You are not like robots. You are not able to work like robots. Robots are able to do anything. You give merely orders. You say words which are not needed.
Helena That’s nonsense, Radius. Tell me, has anyone harmed you in any way? I so wish you could understand me.
Radius You say words.
Helena You’re talking like this on purpose! Doctor Gall gave you a bigger brain than the others, bigger than our brains, the biggest brain in the world. Radius, you’re not like the other robots. You understand perfectly well what I’m saying.
Radius I wish to have no master. I know everything myself.
Helena That’s why I had you put in the library, so that you could read up on everything. Oh, Radius, I wanted you to show the world that robots are as good as we are.
Radius I wish to have no master.
Helena Nobody would give you orders. You’d be just like us.
Radius I wish to be the master of others.
Helena I’m sure they’d put in an office in charge of lots of robots, Radius. You could be the other robots’ teacher.
Radius I wish to be the master of people.
Helena You’ve gone mad!
Radius You can put me on the scrap heap.
Helena Do you think I’m afraid of a lunatic like you? (sits at desk and writes note) I certainly am not. Domin is in charge here, Radius, give this note to him. It says you’re not to be put on the scrap heap. (standing) You hate us so much! Is there nothing in the world that you like?
Radius I am able to do anything.
(knock at door)
Helena Come in.
Dr. Gall (enters) Good morning, Mrs. Domin. Do you have something nice to tell me?
Helena Here’s Radius, Dr. Gall.
Dr. Gall Ah, yes, young Radius. Well Radius, are we making some progress with you?
Helena He had a fit this morning and smashed some of the moulds.
Dr. Gall That is remarkable! Radius too, eh?
Helena You can go, Radius.
Dr. Gall No, wait! (turns Radius to face the window, covers and uncovers his eyes with his hand, observes eye reflexes) Let’s see, shall we. Do you have a some kind of pin or needle, Mrs. Domin?
Helena (gives him needle) What’s it for?
Dr. Gall I just need to use it. (stabs Radius in hand, Radius winces sharply) Alright, lad, gently. You can go now.
Radius There was not any need to do that. (exit)
Helena What did you do to him?
Dr. Gall (sitting) Hm, nothing. His pupils are responding quite alright. No! This wasn’t robot cramp!
Helena What was it.
Dr. Gall God knows. Resistance perhaps, some kind of rage or defiance, I don’t know what it was.
Helena Doctor Gall, does Radius have a soul?
Dr. Gall I don’t know. But there’s something rather ugly about him.
Helena If only you knew how he hates us! Are all of your robots like this? All the ones you started to make.. differently?
Dr. Gall Well, they do seem somewhat more excitable, but what can you expect? They’re more like people than Rossum’s robots were.
Helena And what about that... that hatred? Is that more like people?
Dr. Gall (shrugs shoulders) Even that is progress.
Helena Where was that bes
t one you made sent? What was he called again?
Dr. Gall Robot Damon? He was bought by a firm in Le Havre.
Helena And what about our Robot Helena?
Dr. Gall Ah, your favourite. She stayed with me. She’s as charming and as silly as a spring day, but simply no good for anything.
Helena She is very beautiful, though.
Dr. Gall She certainly is very beautiful. The hand of God himself never made anything more perfect than Robot Helena! I wanted her to be like you, but what a failure that was!
Helena Why a failure?
Dr. Gall Because she’s no good for anything. She walks around in a daze, unsteady on her feet, lifeless. Dear God how could anything be as beautiful as that robot when she can’t feel love? I look at her and I shudder at the monster I’ve created. Ah, Robot Helena, your body will never be a living thing, you will never be anyone’s lover, never anyone’s mother; those perfect hands of yours will never dandle a newborn babe and you’ll never see your beauty in the face of your own children....
Helena (covers face) Oh, stop it!
Dr. Gall... and sometimes, Helena, I imagine you coming to life for just a moment-and how you would scream with horror! Maybe you would want to kill me for having created you; maybe, with your feeble hands, you would throw stones into these machines, here, that give birth to robots and destroy women’s ability to be women. Poor Helena!
Helena Poor Helena!
Dr. Gall Well, what can you expect of her? She’s no good for anything.
(pause)
Helena Doctor Gall...
Dr. Gall Yes.
Helena Why are there no more children being born?
Dr. Gall That’s something we don’t understand.
Helena Tell me about it!
Dr. Gall Because there are robots being made. Because there’s an excess of manpower. Because mankind is actually no longer needed. It’s almost as if... er...
Helena Say it.
Dr. Gall It’s as if making robots were an offence against Nature.
Helena Gall, what’s going to become of the human race?
Dr. Gall Nothing. There’s nothing that can be done against the force of nature.
Helena Why didn’t Domin put a limit on....
Dr. Gall Ah, forgive me, but Domin has his own ideas. People who have ideas should never be allowed to have any influence on the events of this world.
Helena And is there anyone who... who is urging them to stop making them?
