R.U.R. (Rossum's Universal Robots)

by Karel Čapek

  Domin I wish I knew what they were waiting for. It must be about to start any moment. We’ve lost, Gall.

  Alquist What is that that Helena’s playing?

  Domin I don’t know. She’s practising something new.

  Alquist Ah, so she’s still practising?

  Dr. Gall Listen Domin, we made a crucial mistake.

  Domin (stops) What mistake?

  Dr. Gall We made the faces of the robots too much like one another. There are a hundred thousand faces staring up at us and they’re all the same. A hundred thousand expressionless bubbles. This is like a bad dream.

  Domin If each of them were different...

  Dr. Gall Then the sight of them wouldn’t be so ghastly. (moves away from window) At least they’re not armed yet!

  Domin Hm.-(looks down at harbour through binoculars) I just wish I knew what it was they’re unloading from the Amelia.

  Dr. Gall Let’s just hope it’s not weapons.

  (enter Fabry through wallpapered door, dragging two electrical wires)

  Fabry Excuse me. Hallemeier, put the wire down.

  Hallemeier (following Fabry) Ouf, that was hard work. Anything new?

  Dr. Gall Nothing. We’re completely surrounded.

  Hallemeier Well lads, we’ve got the stairs and the corridors barricaded. Is there any water there? Ah, here it is. (drinks)

  Dr. Gall What’s this wire for, Fabry?

  Fabry You’ll see, you’ll see. Are there some scissors?

  Dr. Gall Where would we find scissors? (looks for them)

  Hallemeier (goes to window) Hell, there are even more of them now! Have a look at this!

  Dr. Gall Would nail scissors be alright?

  Fabry Give them to me. (cuts lead to electric lamp on desk and attaches his wires to it)

  Hallemeier (at window) You haven’t got a very nice view here, Domin. It seems... to have... the feel of death about it.

  Fabry Ready!

  Dr. Gall What is?

  Fabry The connection. Now we can put electric current through the whole of the garden fence. Anyone who touches it has had it. At least, as long as there are still some of our own down there.

  Dr. Gall Where?

  Fabry In the generator room. At least, I hope... (goes to fireplace and switches on small light there) Thank God for that-they’re there. And they’re working. (switches light off) As long as that light works we’re alright.

  Hallemeier (turning back from window) Those are good barricades, Fabry. Now what’s that that Helena’s playing? (goes to door, left, and listens. Enter Busman through wallpapered door carrying enormous ledgers. Trips over wire)

  Fabry Mind out, Bus! Mind those wires!

  Dr. Gall Hello, what’s this you’re bringing us?

  Busman (puts books on table) These are the important books, children. I think I’d better get the accounts done before... before.... well I don’t mean to wait until the new year before it’s sorted out. Now what’s all this you’ve got here? (goes to window) It’s all very quiet down there.

  Dr. Gall Can’t you see anything?

  Busman Nothing apart from a large blue area, it’s as if it was strewn with poppy seeds.

  Dr. Gall Those are the robots.

  Busman Ah, so that’s what it is. Pity I can’t see them. (sits at desk and opens ledgers)

  Domin Forget about that, Busman; the robots are unloading weapons from the Amelia.

  Busman So what? What am I supposed to do about it?

  Domin There’s nothing we can do to stop them.

  Busman So just let me get on with my calculation. (gets on with work)

  Fabry It isn’t all over yet, Domin. We’ve put two hundred volts in through the garden fence and....

  Domin Stop! The Ultimus has just turned its guns in our direction.

  Dr. Gall Who’s doing that?

  Domin The robots on the Ultimus.

  Fabry Hm, well in that case of course,.. then of course,.. then we’ve had it, lads. Those robots are trained soldiers.

  Dr. Gall That means that we...

  Domin Yes. Irrevocably.

  (Pause)

  Dr. Gall This is just the same old evil as Europe has always committed. They just couldn’t leave their damned politics alone and so they taught the robots to go to war, they took the robots and turned them into soldiers and that was a crime against humanity.

  Alquist The crime was making the robots in the first place.

  Domin What’s that?

  Alquist The crime was making the robots!

  Domin No Alquist, I don’t feel sorry for what I did, even now.

  Alquist Not even now?

  Domin Not even now, on the last day of civilisation. It was a magnificent undertaking.

  Busman (sotto voce) Three hundred and sixteen million.

  Domin (earnestly) Alquist, this is our last hour; it’s almost as if we were speaking from the other world already. Alquist, putting an end to the slavery of labour was not a bad dream. Work humiliates, anyone who’s forced to do it is made small. The drudgery of labour is something dirty and murderous. Oh, Alquist, the burden of work was too much for us, life was too heavy for us, and to remove this burden....

  Alquist That was never the dream of either of the Rossums; old Rossum was thinking of Godless rubbish and young Rossum thought of nothing but making millions. And it’s not the dream of RUR shareholders either; their only dream was their dividend. And it’s because of their concern for their profits that mankind is about to perish.

  Domin (agitated) The Devil take their dividends! Do you think I’d have spent an hour of my time for their sakes? (thumping table) I did it for myself, d’you hear? For my own satisfaction! I wanted mankind to become his own master! I wanted him not to have to live just for the next crust of bread! I wanted not a single soul to have to go stupid standing at somebody else’s machines! I wanted to leave nothing-nothing!-left of this damned mess that society’s in! I hate seeing humiliation and pain all around us, I hate poverty! I wanted to start a new generation! I wanted to... I thought that...

  Alquist What?

  Domin (quieter) I wanted mankind to become an aristocracy of the world. Free, unconstrained, sovereign. Maybe even something higher than human.

  Alquist Superhumans, you mean.

  Domin Yes. If only we’d had another hundred years. Another hundred years for the new mankind.

  Busman (sotto voce) Three hundred and seventy million, carry over. Like that.

  (pause)

  Hallemeier (at door, left) Music is a wonderful thing, you know. You should have been listening. There’s something ennobling about it, soothing...

  Fabry What exactly?

  Hallemeier To Hell with this end of mankind! I think I’m turning into a hedonist, lads. We should have got into it much earlier. (goes to window and looks out)

  Fabry Into what?

  Hallemeier Enjoying ourselves. Beauty. Hell, there are so many beautiful things around us! The world was beautiful, and we... we here... Tell me, lads, what did we ever enjoy?

  Busman (sotto voce) Four hundred and fifty two million-excellent.

  Hallemeier (at window) Life was great. My friends, life was... Ah, Fabry, put a little bit of current into that fence of yours.

  Fabry Why!

  Hallemeier They’re touching it.

  Dr. Gall (at window) Switch it on!

  Hallemeier Christ, that showed them! Two, three, four of them killed!

  Dr. Gall They’re moving back.

  Hallemeier Five killed.

  Dr. Gall (coming back from window) First strike.

  Fabry Have you got the smell of death?

  Hallemeier (contented) We’ve got them cornered, right in a corner. Haha, you should never give in! (sitting)

  Domin (rubs his brow) Perhaps we’re just ghosts, dead for a hundred years. Perhaps we were killed a long long time ago, and we’ve come back just to recant something we once said... before we died. It’s as if I’d been through this before!
As if it had all been done to me already. A shot here, in the neck. What about you, Fabry?

  Fabry What about me?

  Domin Shot.

  Hallemeier Hell, what about me?

  Domin Stabbed.

  Dr. Gall Nothing for me, then?

  Domin Torn to pieces.

  (pause)

  Hallemeier What a lot of nonsense! Haha, they could never stab me! I wouldn’t let them!

  (pause)

  Hallemeier So what are you all so quiet for, all gone mad? Say something, damn it!

  Alquist And whose fault is it? Who’s to blame for all this?

  Hallemeier You’re talking nonsense. Nobody’s to blame. It’s just that the robots, well, the robots changed somehow. How can you blame anyone for the robots?

  Alquist Everything wiped out! The whole of mankind! The whole world! (standing) Think of it, just think of it, streams of blood on every doorstep! Streams of blood flowing from every house! Oh God, oh God, who’s to blame for it all?

  Busman (sotto voce) Five hundred and twenty million! Dear dear me, that’s half a billion!

  Fabry I think... I think you could be exaggerating. After all, it’s not that easy to wipe out the whole of mankind.

  Alquist It’s science I blame! Technology I blame! Domin! Myself! All of us! It’s us, we’re the ones to blame! We thought we were doing something great, giving some benefit, making progress. I don’t know what magnificent ideas it was for that we’ve destroyed mankind! And now all our greatness is bursting like a bubble! Not even Genghis Khan built up a heap of human bones like we’ve done.

  Hallemeier You’re talking a lot of nonsense! People won’t give up that easily, haha, course they won’t!

  Alquist It’s our fault, our fault!

  Dr. Gall (wiping sweat from brow) If I can say something, I think I’m the one to blame. For everything that’s happened.

  Fabry You, Gall?

  Dr. Gall Yes, let me speak. It was me who made the changes to the robots. Busman, you can blame me as well.

  Busman (standing) Dear me, what? What happened to you?

  Dr. Gall I changed the robots’ character. I altered the way they were made. Nothing much to their bodies, you know, but mainly... mainly... it was their level of irritability.

  Hallemeier (jumping up) Hell and damnation why did you do that?

  Busman Why did you do it?

  Fabry Why didn’t you tell anyone!?

  Dr. Gall I did it in secret... on my own initiative. I was making them into people. I sent them off course. Now they’re better than we are in some ways. They’re stronger than we are.

  Fabry And what’s that got to do with the robots’ revolt?

  Dr. Gall Oh, it’s got a lot to do with it. Everything, I should think. They stopped being machines-do you hear me?-they became aware of their strength and now they hate us. They hate the whole of mankind. I’m the one to blame.

  Domin Let the dead bury the dead.

  Fabry Doctor Gall, you changed the way the robots were made?

  Dr. Gall Yes.

  Fabry Were you aware of what might be the results of your... of your experiment?

  Dr. Gall I was. I did reckon on some possibility of that sort.

  Fabry Why did you do it?

  Dr. Gall I did it for myself. It was my personal experiment.

  (Helena at doorway, left. All stand)

  Helena He’s lying! That’s horrible! Oh Gall, how can you lie like that?

  Fabry Sorry, Helena...

  Domin (goes to her) Helena, you? Let me see you! You’re alive? (embraces her) If you only knew what I’ve been thinking! Oh, it’s terrible, being dead.

  Helena Harry let go of me! It isn’t Gall’s fault, it isn’t, it isn’t, he’s not to blame!

  Domin But I’m afraid Gall did have his responsibilities.

  Helena No, Harry, he did it because I wanted it. Tell them Gall, tell them how I begged you for years to....

  Dr. Gall It was all my own responsibility.

  Helena Don’t believe him! Harry, I wanted him to give the robots a soul!

  Domin Helena, it’s not a matter of having a soul.

  Helena No, just let me speak. That’s what he said as well, he said he could only make physiological changes... alter the physiological...

  Hallemeier The physiological correlates, you mean?

  Helena Yes, something like that. Harry, I felt so sorry for them!

  Domin That was very... that was very stupid of you, Helena.

  Helena (sitting) Yes... it was very.. stupid of me. But even Nana says that...

  Domin Just leave Nana out of it!

  Helena No Harry, don’t under-estimate her. Nana is the voice of the people. People like Nana have been speaking for a thousand years, and you’re just speaking for today. You don’t understand that...

  Domin Let’s keep to the point.

  Helena I was afraid of the robots.

  Domin Why?

  Helena I thought they might start to hate us, or something.

  Alquist That’s what’s happened.

  Helena And so I thought... if they were like us, if they could understand us, that then they couldn’t possibly hate us so much... if only they were like people... just a little bit....

  Domin Oh Helena! Nobody could hate man as much as man! Give a man a stone and he’ll throw it at you Just carry on!

  Helena Oh, don’t talk like that, Harry, it was so horrible that we could never understand each other! Such a cruel strangeness between us and them. And that’s why... you see...

  Domin Go on.

  Helena... that’s why I asked Gall to change the robots. It wasn’t him who wanted to do it, I promise you.

  Domin But he did do it.

  Helena Because I wanted him to.

  Dr. Gall I did it for my own sake, as an experiment.

  Helena Oh, Gall, that isn’t true. Before I asked you I knew you couldn’t refuse me.

  Domin Why not?

  Helena You know why not, Harry.

  Domin Yes, because he loves you-like we all love you.

  (pause)

  Hallemeier (goes to window) There are more of them again, now. It’s as if they were springing up out of the earth.

  Busman Helena, what will you give me if I act as your advocate.

  Helena Me?

  Busman You, or Gall. As you like.

  Helena What difference does it make?

  Busman Just morally. We’re looking for someone to blame. That’s the usual way to find consolation when something bad happens.

  Domin Doctor Gall; how do you square your... your extra-mural activities with your contract?

  Busman Excuse me, Domin. Gall; when did you actually start playing around in this way?

  Dr. Gall Three years ago.

  Busman Aha. And how many robots did you change, in total?

  Dr. Gall I only performed a number of experiments, no more than a few hundred.

  Busman Thank you very much, Gall. Now that’s enough, children. This means that out of a million old, properly functioning robots just one will have been one of Gall’s reformed models. Do you see what I mean?

  Domin So that means...

  Busman... that it has practically no significance at all.

  Fabry Busman is right.

  Busman I think I am. And now, lads, do you know what really caused all this to happen?

  Fabry What?

  Busman The number of them. We made too many robots. Dear me, it’s only what we should have been expecting; as soon as the robots became stronger than people this was bound to happen, it had to happen, you see? Haha, and we did all that we could to make it happen as soon as possible; you Domin, you Fabry, and little me, Busman.

  Domin So you think it’s the fault of all of us.

  Busman You’re quite right. How could you ever have thought the managing director was in charge of production? Production is governed by supply and demand. Everywhere in the world they wanted to have their robots, and all we
did was respond to the flood of orders. And all the time we were talking nonsense about technology, sociology, progress, and all sorts of interesting matters. How could talk of this sort chit-chat decide how things were going to turn out? Meanwhile, things gathered their own momentum, getting faster and faster and faster. Every miserable, greedy, dirty new order added its own pebble to the avalanche. That’s what happened, children.

  Helena Busman, that’s horrible!

  Busman It is, Helena. I had my own dreams, too. A Busman sort of dream about anew economic order; a beautiful fantasy, Helena, a shame to speak of it. But just now, while I was doing the accounts, it occurred to me that history is not about great dreams; it’s about the day to day needs of all the little people, the honest ones, the slightly dishonest ones, the selfish ones; about everyone. And all these thoughts and loves and plans and heroic deeds, all these noble things are worth nothing more than something to clutter up the museum of the universe, under the heading ‘Mankind’. And that’s all. And now, will somebody tell me what we’re going to do now?

  Helena And is it for the sake of that that we’re all going to die?

  Busman Don’t put it so harshly, Helena. We’re not all going to die. At least, I am not. I want to stay alive so that...

  Domin And what are you going to do about it?

  Busman But Domin, dear boy, I want to get out of here.

  Domin (standing over him) How?

  Busman For good. When I do things I always do them for good. Give me your full authority, and I will go and negotiate with the robots.

  Domin For good?

  Busman Of course. Let’s suppose I go to them, and I say, “Dear robots, happy race, you have everything. You have intelligence, you have power, you have weapons; but we have a rather interesting little piece of paper, a rather old, yellowing, dirty piece...”

  Domin Rossum’s manuscript?

  Busman That’s right. “And this piece of paper,” I’ll say to them, “tells us all about your great origins, your noble manufacture, and so on. My dear robots, without the scribbles on this piece of paper you will be unable to make a single new robot to keep you company: in twenty years, if you don’t mind my saying so, you will die out like flies. And that would be such a terrible pity for you. I’ll tell you what,” I’ll say to them, “why don’t you let all of us people here on Rossum’s island get onto that boat. In exchange, we’ll let you buy the factory and the whole island from us, and even include the secret of your manufacture. Let us sail away, in the peace of God, and we’ll let you, in the peace of God, continue manufacturing yourselves-twenty thousand, fifty thousand, a hundred thousand or more of you every day. My dear robots, this is a fair deal that I’m putting to you. Something for something.” That is what I would say to them, lads.